Old Folks Home

Later in the afternoon, my granny will discharge from nuh. Then she will goes to there immediately she discharge.. Heart seriously feel very painful.. Now start to scare she cannot get use to there. sometimes maybe min arh.. u are just being useless. you can't take care of her.. when u are young, who protect you from your parents? who buy you computer when u need for studies? Who looks after you when your dad is in hospital? who always give u extra pocket money? who always buy breakfast for you when she is here? who always throw tantrum to her, yet she never scold you before? who always be there for you? who will help your family to solve problems within her means? who always make milo for you in the morning? who always make bread for you in the morning?

who who who who who.. who had been wu wei bi zhi de cao gu ni..

who who who who who who..

haiz...

today ah ma told me that she knows she going to stay at old folks home after she is being discharge... but she told me that she will be able to go back home.. once she recover.. my tears almost dropped out... actually i should knows the only time when she can goes back is only went she left me.. suddenly i feel so empty.. thinking abt someone nagging at me when i came back from work.. someone who will make milo for me before i go work.. someone who will make bread for me.. someone who will take care of min.. min arh.. so old, everyday still crying.. seriously hor.. after ks left me, i never felt so painful till the day went my ah ma fell down and when i know she is going old folks home... is it bcos i have very negative feelings towards old folk home or ??? i feel like depending on someone.. haha.. who can i depend on? my heart is so painful...

Feeling sad

Hahaa.. Recently been very emotional especially the day when i know grandma's admitted hospital. Actually i should get use to people will die one day and we still have to move on in life. But don't know why, everyday i will just cry behind my blanket. She is still ok but just bedridden in hospital. Something very sad is that once she discharge, she will be place in old folks home. I feel so painful but i couldn't said anything. Staying in old folks home, only good thing is that got someone to look after her. But.... sometimes at night you will see pple pass away, is tat good for one person mentally? or she already had prepared for the worst?

Recently i been very hardworking that almost everyday, i will go visit her. Next time when she moves to old folks home, how can i go and visit her everytime?

Min feels very remorseful.. Seriously when i am young, i am very rebellious.. she had a hard time to take care of me when i am young. guess this will be my breakdown point. Can't imagine that if suddenly i lost her, how long will be my breakdown point? These few days i kept thinking of the memories that she gave me, i wants to keep them and she is the only one beside my parents who dotes me. When i am young, she will try to give me watever i wants, so now i am old, i will try to give her watever she wants and she needs..

ah ma, wo ai ni .. ni shi zui teng wo de. ni bu yao you shi, wo ba zhi ji hui cheng bu zhu.