Cards~~

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/ipWb6ICiCBY/ --> a song that can describe my feelings now~~ can't find it in youtube~~ haiz~~

Hahaaha.. When doing spring cleaning, i found this box where i kept most of my cards that i had received during seconday school.. opps.. .Is that a good thing? I tot i suppose to forget about past.

A card from my childhood friend.. I know her since kindergarden..



Inner view of this card..



A card from my primary school friend.. She also had the same birthday as me.. :P



Is her drawing good?


Hahaa.. Guess who is she ba~~ haiz~~ nowadays our friendship had gotten a bit cold.. after seeing all these cards.. i got the urge to sms her and date her out.. is that a gd idea?



The blue colour envelope was my 17th birthday card.. Bcos of my birthday present.. I caused her and her current bf to quarrel.. But now they are together le.. I should be happy for her right?



Haha.. One of my brothers.. Sweet? Last time almost every year, he gave me a card either for xmas or birthday.. I started to know him from 2000 when i am in sec 3.. I only start to get close with the guys bcos of my gd friend. I don't really mix around with him only till sec 3 where all of us were in the same class...



Haha.. Wedding bride for this year.. Can u still remember this is the card u gave me during O level~~ wahahaa.. i bet that u still can remember it~~~ Time passes so fast~~ these few years happened so many things.. are our friendship still remains that strong as in the past? i got to know this gal thru another friend during lower sec.. before i know her.. she used to be a very fierce woman among all of us wor~~ now of cos, she had changed to be a better one.. haha..



A kindergarden friend cum sec friend ba~~ haha.. also so called my childhood friend.. He knows me since K1.. Furthermore he had the same birthday as me.. Last time in primary school, i had a friend to celebrate my birthday together with me.. Then in secondary school, i seldom celebrate my birthday le.. Most of the time was he celebrate his birthday and everyone goes to his house.. Haha.. My sec buddies very busy.. Either they had to come to attend my birthday party first then to his house.. Normally at that period, they will say BROKE~~ Two birthdays at the same time..



A very close friend when i am at lower sec.. When we go to upper sec, three of us no longer in the same class and we hang around with different people but we will still keep in contact. Ever since my 21th birthday, i had never seen them le~~ i miss them~~ hope that we can still keep in contact again~~~ She saw me at genting with brothers in last July~~ But she never come and called me.. :( guess she was with her bf~~ not convenient ba~~ i used to chat hours of phone with her.. I still remember she bought me a mickey mouse phone for birthday present before~~




A primary school friend.. Erm.. I dun really know wat happened to her~~ From her last trip that she came back from aus.. She totally changed le.. I seldom meet up with her anymore.. She was the only one saw my first bf before.. Haahahaa.. :P i missed the period where we drink at bedok jetty there.. Everytime we goes that.. we will talk about that two stupid guys.. hahaa.. i got scolding on that nite due to something.. hahaa.. :P



haha.. he asked me to choose friends or him.. his friend said i always hurt him bcos of my friends.. in the end, i choose friends.. am i right in doing that..

A close upper sec friends..

During sec school.. a lot of things happened.. dunno it brought us happiness or sadness.. But i enjoyed her company and another friend company.. They brought me a lot of happiness~~ n they tot me a lot of stuffs...

Carina :


Zhi :




Last of all.. A letter that always make me cried whenever i read it~~

I duno whether u will be reading this or not.. I wants to say thanks to u for everything~~ U had been with me during my sec and poly life~~ I really very happy to know u.. I miss the black forest cake.. haha.. but without coaches... the frog poridgge that i had before i left for aus.. the stop gal who left before u going for operation. the silly gal who cried before o level.. the packet of sweets for her before having o level.. the moment where u accompany her to study for o level~~ the moment where two idiots holding to the phone and study chemistry mcq.. The idiot who sings on the phone and makes me think of the song when i am doing my chemistry mcq.. The one who was there with me on my graduation day. sings ktv with me when i am sad.. the one who always suan me and bully me in front of my friends.. the one where a lot of pple knows him.. the one where k met him.. korkor.. thanks.. maybe without u.. i might not be who i am now..




All the above pple.. Thanks.. They were parts of bus journey that i met in life.. Some of them had left the bus...Some are still here.. Some are going to alight soon cos they had reached their destination already.. No matter whether you are still in the bus or u had alight.. Thanks for being part of my life journey... Although we might not meet up again nor be friends again.. These are parts and pieces that i still remember that you used to be in the same bus as me.. I hope we had all enjoy the ride together~~ Life journey is always full of slopes and staggered road.. Thanks for accompanying me throught parts of the staggered road~~ plus the memories~~

contradicting..

nowadays never been blog anything at all~~ can't deny~~~ life been quite gd~~ but.. dunno is ever since wat i heard from pple causes me to drift apart from a friend.. or i start to..... hahaha.. i might or i did.. or i said the wrong thing that causes a breakup of a couple? or so called i am good at it?

seriously.. i had friends that relationship is much more complex than me.. yet i always support her.. hahaha.. min arh min.. u siao le mah? how can u do tat.. guess u bcome abnormal..

why u can except this yet not that? or bcos of other pple comments tat causes u to change your mindset again and again?

hahaa.. i always listen to korkor.. there is a time where i never listened to him.. yet tat time i have never listened to him.. i fell.. hahaa.. just now friends was mentioning abt the past that i had.. i just avoid the topic..

guess i am a bastard.. did i hurt nanny before? i dunno.. did i hurt him yet i didn't know at all.. to be frank.. i know i hurt my parents quite bad on one night.. maybe that was the nite that they know i am still badly hurt inside me yet i never tell them at all..

korkor cursed me on tat day when i can't meet him up~~ i never be with him when he needs me.. there was a time that i need someone to be with me.. he came down and be with me~~ hear me cried.. before he left.. he bought a pack of sweets and tell me.. Jia you.. dun give up.. study hard for exams.. maybe that time korkor was not with me.. accompanying me study at mac.. i might not have pass my o level.. i am still the little girl who will remember who treats me gd.. when pple treats me gd.. i tend to bcome very soft le... korkor.. i never forget those times that u be with me.. i know u might not want to see me again~ seriously i dun mind to see him again.. as long as i know he is happy and healthy.. i am ok le~~

someone.. hahaa.. he changes my life.. i cried for him? or i stand from the point of past that i was being pamper by him.. or so called i never cherish him before? he understands me more than anyone.. he said wat.. i listen wat.. i really feel happy for that point of moment although he is not there for me when i need him~~ said already mah.. min very easy de mah~~ as long as u treats me very gd.. min.. will ok de..

haahaha... nanny.. i met on the day after my cousin's pass away ba~~ he saw me drunk.. opps.. he is a very gd friend.. after most of the friends that i can talk to had slowly left me.. he bcome in.. when i know nanny.. someone haven really left me.. hahaa.. so called i also never cherish him.. he also gt his pretty shanghai girl mah.. why would he cares abt me so much.. all he did is... gd morning, min.. take care..

why leh? min very weak mah.. cannot take care of hereself mah? i admit lah.. i am weak.. when u are away for one month.. i cried most of the times.. jil is the one be with me.. then korkor hospitalised.. haha...

after so many years.. my friend told me i never changed at all.. jil said i changed le~~ guess i know y he said i changed le~~ i never cried that easily as in the past le~~ now i am much more stronger.. but i can said i lose a lot also during these few years..

Relationship?

hai~~ guess now most of them know the truth le~~ dun need to keep quiet le ba~~ erm~~ guess the only person who gt hurts the most is A.. This is wat she quote in her friendster~~ "一只手是拍不响的，两只才拍得响。人的心是 会变得，没有想过移情别恋的伤害，我也会尝 试到。最不可示意的是我一直别人骗。" seriously~~ i agree~~ she really got hurt very deeply~~ in a relationship~~ why pple always tend to said break that easily.. why they can't communicate? erm~~ is it so easily to give up someone who u had been for more than 3 years or reaching 3 years? does this guy deserve a chance to be trust~~ or am i having a very immature thinking? In reality, there is no such thing called fairy tale story~~ i know that this incident had hurt a few pple~~ hope everyone can grow from it and find a better future~~ while~~ i think i am being very evil~~ i know the incident yet i kept quiet all the while~~ cos i promise not to said to anyone~~~

hai~~ i talked to ant last sat~~~ i told him hw i felt~~ he said i should nt felt in this way~~ i told him i want to avoid gathering for a peroid of time~~ he said why? there is nothing wrong~~ but i know my quietness~~ had hurt two of my other buddies~~ i...... sometimes they are there for me~~ and look after me~~~ so~~~ haiz~~~ i really speechless.. min.. where is the trust for friendship? loyalty..

or am i standing at a point of being ditched~~ that's why i feel sad.. or my imagination getting haywire again? haiz`~ currently sometimes i got dear care~~~ can't deny~~ dear is making me to fall in love with him~~~ but hw long can this feeling last? i really dunno~~ i dun even know whether it can cover the pain i had inside which i had kept for almost 3 years? sometimes brothers they all will look after me also~~ they hear me grumble the same thing again and again~~ seriously.. i know i had much more stronger bond with them~~ rather the rest~~ haha~~~ i will not forget hw brother take care of me tat day till he almost want to puke blood~~~ i might not be the most xin fu person at the current moment~~ i know if i fell i might have no support like what i had in the past~~ yet i still slowly growing~~ i hope i will be growing stronger everyday~~ and let u go out of my mind~~ maybe all of us will be happier~~ u never hurt me before~~ is just that i am holding on to a past that is over~~ which i had the pain in me~~ cos i am nt the one who let go of the hand first~~ or so called we did not communicate well before we let go~~ tat's why causing one party to feel hurt~~~

haiz~~ hopes everything will go well for everyone~~ everyone will find their true love in the coming year~~ and hopes that this friendship bond that wil had will last another 10 years ba~~ althought now i can see a few cracks now~~` haiz~~

........ sian.. i dunno wat happened to me... tomorrow is going to have 2 papers of Common Test but till now i still haven study... what is going on with me?? where is my determination... i dunno why.. today when i was in the bus.. tears suddenly falls down my cheek... i act as if nothing had happend.. and fall asleep... last semester.. i struggled through my exams by telling myself i can never give up... in aus.. there is someone who is struggling so hard to survive.. while you leh.. how can u give up hope.. but now... he is gone... i dunno why i am so sad... but i cannot express it out... i feel very painful... everyday seems like wearing a mask.... it is so tiring.. when i reach home... i cannot not cry anymore... cos granny at my house.... how can i cry... and let her sense something is not right.. this sunday, i going to uncle's house... bcos of grandpa's death aniversary... to me.. it seems like to be grandpa and cousin... i really try my best.. i give in to everyone.. i really trying very hard... not to let pple know.. how painful i feel... trying to act mature.. trying to act as if nothing had happened.. who really understand me... i can tell everyone i am fine.. but i know i am lying... this few days.. i went out with my friends... they xXxxxXx.. i also Xxxxxxxx.... but every nite when i reached home.. i sense that someone is beside me... telling me... don't smoke.. it is not good for health.. you promise yourself that you will looking after my grandma... plus everyone in the family... how can u let them disappointed... you are the only child.. u must stand up stronger than anyone in the family.. everyone dote you so much.. dun let them disappointed.... i really hope i won't let you all disappointed... i dunno why... sometimes i wondering is my tears fake.. i cry bcos i wants to gain sympathy... or i really cry from the bottom of my heart.. i feel so painful... can someone tell me what to do....

today went to cut my hair... and went to lao pau sau to eat.. now i feeling super tired ... i guess i going to sleep soon

so sian.. today almost spend whole day with my com.. to deal with stupid virus.. no mood to type liao.. sian.. yesterday talk on phone till 5 ++ ... then the next day 8+ wake up.. till now still haven sleep.. wow.. very sleepy sia.. hai~~~

dunno why... today wanted to sit there to study for next week test.. but in the end.. never touches anything... and dunno why tears going to roll down again soon... hai~~~~ yesterday jiefu told me he went to drink... erm... i got the urge to drink too.. but just that i duno go where to drink or go with who... feel so troubled nowadays.. dunno who can i lean on now... after he had passed away... i keep telling myself that i need to grow up and be much more mature.. i going to look after everyone beside me.. no matter what my cousin says.. i will try my best to says yes... if i can.. i will definitely do it... i really change... i couldn't believe myself.... my uncle also says i grown to be much more mature.. erm.. should i be happy abt it?? but towards my friend.. they still think i am very childish.. if i am given a chance now, i would want to fly to australia... treat as i am giving myself a break without telling anyone.. hoping to keep myself alone... bcos.. i feel so tired to put on a smile face to pple.. when facing any sacastic remarks.. heart feeling so pain.. yet can't express it out.. really very torturing... next sunday, i am going to "pai ji" grandfather.. erm.. i really very scare that it will remind of me what had just happened recently...

i keep telling myself that i won't let anyone of you disappointed again.. if i can't handle my work and my studies at the same time.. most likely, i won't work anymore.. whatever i had promise you all.. i will try my very best to fulfill it.. sorry that i let you disappointed...

hai~~~~i waited for so long.. i still haven received my wavier.. hai~~~~ half a year liao.. .hoping that next week.. they will really give me a reply.. or else after my contract is finish... can consider of changing ISP liao lah.. Customer service attitude.. hai~~~ can ask me " WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?" Win liao lor.. i consumer call in for help.. in the end, being treated by this way.. you think who will be happy.. really dann idiot.. i wanted an apologize from them... take 2 weeks to solve my problems.. then furthermore pay money to make myself suffer... hai~~~ maybe shortage of a customer to them... is like small case.. but i really couldn't believe it.. i been with them for so long.... i sign up.... internet since 1999... till now.. i been with the company for 5 years... wow.. this year is the worst year that i ever got... they took so long to solve my problems... furthermore they keep asking me to wait.. i don't have that good patience to wait...

1) Waited two weeks to get my connections solve... Within that two weeks... they send 3 people down, done several phone checking and changing of wires...

2) Waited half a year, still did not get my wavier... i wondering did i heard wrongly or a conster talking to me......

3) I called in on Last Friday.. I only get my answer today.. but for this.. i admit it is partly my fault too.. i was so busy and never heard the phone ring... hai~~~

4) Today he asked me whether do i accept if he is going to provide me with 2 weeks of wavier? I asked him no.. Plus the reason he gave me really very lame.. telling me that.. my collegue accidentally close the case, therefore there isn't any rebate given to me.. I was wondering.. everything my fault arh?? U asked me to waited for half a year.. in the end... still got the cheek to tell me such a lame excuse.. i couldn't believe that this is what the management is doing.. Poor management... He asked me what will accept.. I actually do not want to make any comments, planning to see what they will provide me.. But he says you tell me, i try to get it for you... if the management is going to settle, they will at most give me 2 weeks.. I feel very unhappy with the service that they provide to me. Am i a consumer or not??

5) Now... i had to wait for my wavier.. he says that he will call me back and inform me about this matter by next week.. hai~~~ i wondering will i really get an answer by next week.. or i had to wait for another half a year or even longer...

*** take note:::
I am lucky that last time when i requested that i need my bill, there is a customer service officer send me all my bills starting from feb to june.... From there, then i realise how come there is no rebate in my Feb bill... therefore... i called up and make enquires about it...
so next time remember to check your bill monthly, in case what they promise you might not be the truth. Just to coax the consumer.. for eg.. like my case.. waiting and waiting.... hai~~~

hehee... i found back my watch after two hours of searching.. nowadays i enjoy working more.. bcos got click with some of my collegue.. today arh.. waste my time sia.. actually i can knock off at 11pm.. but in the end, i do until closing.. I scare that maybe is wrong schedule again.. so i stay until 12.. when my manager saw me, he asked me " Why you haven go home?"... Hai~~~ make me so sian.. i work until want to sleep liao sia.. erm.. actually there is one of my collegue look like my ex's style sia... but... not suitable for me.. he eat potato.... while i eat rice.. my ang mo standard so lousy.. i also dun really dare to speak in english.... but he very nice + good.. hehee.. also cheer us up..

erm... two weeks later.. i will be changing my work place.. by then, i shall be having my holidays..... but today very stunned.. i saw my cousin-in-law at my workplace.. hehee.. this is the very first time sia...

i lost my watch today.. boring.. sad sad..