CRAZY

I had a breakdown in office on monday, at first i thought i will be able to stay in my current company till i retired but guess now this option is not in my list. Walk out of the meeting room, will cause me to lose a chance for promotion or i will always be a developer. Forever staying a developer will makes my pay remain the same. Nothing changes. Haiz.. Seems like after bonus, i will have to find another job.

As for at home, nothing changes much, nowadays i will be spending more time with my cousins and at home. What happened recently shocked all of us. Even my auntie is flying back from aus, normally she will only come back a few yrs. Nowadays she flew back quite often. haiz~~ life is short, should learn to cherish things. cos u will nvr wat happened next.

As for relationship, hahahaa.. i also dunno.. is it bcos i feeling low, that's why i gt this kind of feelings. Tat day, seriously i not drunk before i head to st james. maybe just high ba... wahahaha.. :D i trying to pull his hand and another girl hand together.. hahaha... if one day they hand in hand together, i also dunno maybe i will feel happy for him or ...................i will not let my relationship ended hw my previous relation ended. Most likely, i will stand away, wait till i am more clear minded. hahahaa, base on that day, if he drove me home instead of st james, i will love this person.. hahaha.. but he drove me to st james, which means i am nothing to him... hahaha... find a way to forget him ba..

ytd, i went out with my cousins they all. My aunt looks very stone and very sian. Within 3 wks, you lost a brother and husband, nobody will understand how she felt. She is just trying to act strong in front of everyone of us. Cos she needs to take care of 2 kids. Will i encounter 3 adults cried in my aunt's hotel room later? haiz~~~

The most scarily month that i ever had in my life

3 weeks after my uncle's funeral, we stepped into another funeral. Can't imagine that is happening to us again. The families getting smaller and smaller. People just go like this. My uncle been staying at NUH for 8 or 9 days. The last two days, he admitted to ICU. First time, i stepped into ICU, seeing how people struggle their life to survive. This time round, is so sudden. Last sunday, i went to see him with my mum. He was still ok, he still smile at me. This week, i am attending his funeral. Looks like is a joke or a drama in life. How can be possible one by one just left us within a month. Seriously i doubt i can take another blow so soon. Hahaha, that day my granny was still telling me, she wants to go. Cos her eyes are very painful. Now i really dunno how to react. If 3 weeks down the road, i going to attend funeral again. I doubt i will have the stamina to survive through, maybe i should say thanks to someone. Maybe without him training me to be that strong, i doubt i will be that strong. Now wat i can do is to look after my the families.

Seriously, i really doubt the standard that hospital provides. How can a small wound become so serious? How can a small wound become a killer? How a small wound become heart attack? If the doctors start to cure his leg first before asking him to go for this and that scan, maybe things will not be that serious?

Just now i saw my cousin, looking at her graduation photo and stone. I felt so sad.

I started to look back at my life, i feel that the most happiest birthday that i ever had is on my 21th birthday where everyone are there to celebrate with me.. Such a pity that i never took photos.

My auntie and uncle are actually my godmother and godfather.

lao tian ye.. pls.............