Kekeke... I had sort of my tots.. Lalala.. Tat kind of feelings I had for him is superficial... Otherwise next wk complimentary movie tickets, I will ask him to accompany me to attend.. Hahaha... Instead of him, I had asked a friend to accompany me to watch it with me.. Hahahaha...
Sometimes friend will just maintain as friends...
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
CRAZY
I had a breakdown in office on monday, at first i thought i will be able to stay in my current company till i retired but guess now this option is not in my list. Walk out of the meeting room, will cause me to lose a chance for promotion or i will always be a developer. Forever staying a developer will makes my pay remain the same. Nothing changes. Haiz.. Seems like after bonus, i will have to find another job.
As for at home, nothing changes much, nowadays i will be spending more time with my cousins and at home. What happened recently shocked all of us. Even my auntie is flying back from aus, normally she will only come back a few yrs. Nowadays she flew back quite often. haiz~~ life is short, should learn to cherish things. cos u will nvr wat happened next.
As for relationship, hahahaa.. i also dunno.. is it bcos i feeling low, that's why i gt this kind of feelings. Tat day, seriously i not drunk before i head to st james. maybe just high ba... wahahaha.. :D i trying to pull his hand and another girl hand together.. hahaha... if one day they hand in hand together, i also dunno maybe i will feel happy for him or ...................i will not let my relationship ended hw my previous relation ended. Most likely, i will stand away, wait till i am more clear minded. hahahaa, base on that day, if he drove me home instead of st james, i will love this person.. hahaha.. but he drove me to st james, which means i am nothing to him... hahaha... find a way to forget him ba..
ytd, i went out with my cousins they all. My aunt looks very stone and very sian. Within 3 wks, you lost a brother and husband, nobody will understand how she felt. She is just trying to act strong in front of everyone of us. Cos she needs to take care of 2 kids. Will i encounter 3 adults cried in my aunt's hotel room later? haiz~~~
As for at home, nothing changes much, nowadays i will be spending more time with my cousins and at home. What happened recently shocked all of us. Even my auntie is flying back from aus, normally she will only come back a few yrs. Nowadays she flew back quite often. haiz~~ life is short, should learn to cherish things. cos u will nvr wat happened next.
As for relationship, hahahaa.. i also dunno.. is it bcos i feeling low, that's why i gt this kind of feelings. Tat day, seriously i not drunk before i head to st james. maybe just high ba... wahahaha.. :D i trying to pull his hand and another girl hand together.. hahaha... if one day they hand in hand together, i also dunno maybe i will feel happy for him or ...................i will not let my relationship ended hw my previous relation ended. Most likely, i will stand away, wait till i am more clear minded. hahahaa, base on that day, if he drove me home instead of st james, i will love this person.. hahaha.. but he drove me to st james, which means i am nothing to him... hahaha... find a way to forget him ba..
ytd, i went out with my cousins they all. My aunt looks very stone and very sian. Within 3 wks, you lost a brother and husband, nobody will understand how she felt. She is just trying to act strong in front of everyone of us. Cos she needs to take care of 2 kids. Will i encounter 3 adults cried in my aunt's hotel room later? haiz~~~
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The most scarily month that i ever had in my life
3 weeks after my uncle's funeral, we stepped into another funeral. Can't imagine that is happening to us again. The families getting smaller and smaller. People just go like this. My uncle been staying at NUH for 8 or 9 days. The last two days, he admitted to ICU. First time, i stepped into ICU, seeing how people struggle their life to survive. This time round, is so sudden. Last sunday, i went to see him with my mum. He was still ok, he still smile at me. This week, i am attending his funeral. Looks like is a joke or a drama in life. How can be possible one by one just left us within a month. Seriously i doubt i can take another blow so soon. Hahaha, that day my granny was still telling me, she wants to go. Cos her eyes are very painful. Now i really dunno how to react. If 3 weeks down the road, i going to attend funeral again. I doubt i will have the stamina to survive through, maybe i should say thanks to someone. Maybe without him training me to be that strong, i doubt i will be that strong. Now wat i can do is to look after my the families.
Seriously, i really doubt the standard that hospital provides. How can a small wound become so serious? How can a small wound become a killer? How a small wound become heart attack? If the doctors start to cure his leg first before asking him to go for this and that scan, maybe things will not be that serious?
Just now i saw my cousin, looking at her graduation photo and stone. I felt so sad.
I started to look back at my life, i feel that the most happiest birthday that i ever had is on my 21th birthday where everyone are there to celebrate with me.. Such a pity that i never took photos.
My auntie and uncle are actually my godmother and godfather.
lao tian ye.. pls.............
Seriously, i really doubt the standard that hospital provides. How can a small wound become so serious? How can a small wound become a killer? How a small wound become heart attack? If the doctors start to cure his leg first before asking him to go for this and that scan, maybe things will not be that serious?
Just now i saw my cousin, looking at her graduation photo and stone. I felt so sad.
I started to look back at my life, i feel that the most happiest birthday that i ever had is on my 21th birthday where everyone are there to celebrate with me.. Such a pity that i never took photos.
My auntie and uncle are actually my godmother and godfather.
lao tian ye.. pls.............
Monday, March 28, 2011
Haiz..
So many things happened recently.. sort of i cannot catch up with my breath.. sort of feeling to runaway from everything. I wants to take a break, after it then think how to clean up the mess. hahaha.. sound like this time round i had made a big mess..
The biggest that i made till now, might be the decision to go hk with my cousins they all. Maybe that incidents screwed up our relationship. Trying to runaway from problems, that is something that i am good at.
This time round, i am pretty surprise that i am quite strong. Or because everything happened too fast till i dunno how to react.
Guess this time round, i can write a long long story.. From young i used to go that place around this period of time. I will go there worship my grandfather. Now when i go there, feelings is so different. Seeing how sad is my cousins, i dunno wat to say. i been very stone there, so scare that i will say something wrong again. i dunno how to react, things kept floating in my mind. At the moment, my granny float in my mind. In a selfish thinking, i did asked why heaven don't swap the sequence. i think my granny will not be able to take it. She miss my uncle so much, if now she knows that he had passed away. This is going to be a very big blow to her. Now, all the siblings are so sad about this incident. My aunt even worst, she is alone in aus with her family. Now she knew about my uncle incident, she linked it with her son incident. Haiz.. I hopes July bonus is good, maybe i should take my mum for a holiday break. Maybe this time round, i will consider perth. We shall go there and visit my aunt's family. This been a very big blow to my cousin but i admire her courage and strong. Luckily they found someone who loves them a lot, will take care of them. Otherwise, i can't imagine wat will happen. My aunt been very steady, trying to settle everything by herself. Although granny always tell me, hw my aunt dun like her. I think my aunt also hate me, the stare that she gave me during these few days, i dunno wat to say. Especially the last day, the stare is scary.
I know why she hates me. From young, all bcos of my granny and my mum, i managed to go holiday trips during school holiday. My uncle brought me to bali, cameron highland, genting, cruise to penang.. He did a lot to help my family. When i am young, i owe a lot to mother's side. without them, i will not have all those memories.
My first roller coaster ride .. when i first learn how to cycle.. go pulau ubin explore.. hahaa.. all these memories are given by him.. if u asked me his gone, is it a big blow to me also? Yes, i regret i nvr cherish it. Bcos of the hk incident, i been escaping not to go my uncle's house. only till last yr, when i knew he was sicked,i went down with my mum to see him. He was very weak at that moment.. i am very useles.. whenever i hit any difficulties, i keep trying to runaway from it. During the funeral, i told my uncle, i will look after my granny. Now, i will try to spend more time with her, at least she dun feel so empty.
If one day,i lose her, what will happen to me? I also dunno. Collapse? Went Crazy? Get myself drunk? Or swallow down all my tears?
The biggest that i made till now, might be the decision to go hk with my cousins they all. Maybe that incidents screwed up our relationship. Trying to runaway from problems, that is something that i am good at.
This time round, i am pretty surprise that i am quite strong. Or because everything happened too fast till i dunno how to react.
Guess this time round, i can write a long long story.. From young i used to go that place around this period of time. I will go there worship my grandfather. Now when i go there, feelings is so different. Seeing how sad is my cousins, i dunno wat to say. i been very stone there, so scare that i will say something wrong again. i dunno how to react, things kept floating in my mind. At the moment, my granny float in my mind. In a selfish thinking, i did asked why heaven don't swap the sequence. i think my granny will not be able to take it. She miss my uncle so much, if now she knows that he had passed away. This is going to be a very big blow to her. Now, all the siblings are so sad about this incident. My aunt even worst, she is alone in aus with her family. Now she knew about my uncle incident, she linked it with her son incident. Haiz.. I hopes July bonus is good, maybe i should take my mum for a holiday break. Maybe this time round, i will consider perth. We shall go there and visit my aunt's family. This been a very big blow to my cousin but i admire her courage and strong. Luckily they found someone who loves them a lot, will take care of them. Otherwise, i can't imagine wat will happen. My aunt been very steady, trying to settle everything by herself. Although granny always tell me, hw my aunt dun like her. I think my aunt also hate me, the stare that she gave me during these few days, i dunno wat to say. Especially the last day, the stare is scary.
I know why she hates me. From young, all bcos of my granny and my mum, i managed to go holiday trips during school holiday. My uncle brought me to bali, cameron highland, genting, cruise to penang.. He did a lot to help my family. When i am young, i owe a lot to mother's side. without them, i will not have all those memories.
My first roller coaster ride .. when i first learn how to cycle.. go pulau ubin explore.. hahaa.. all these memories are given by him.. if u asked me his gone, is it a big blow to me also? Yes, i regret i nvr cherish it. Bcos of the hk incident, i been escaping not to go my uncle's house. only till last yr, when i knew he was sicked,i went down with my mum to see him. He was very weak at that moment.. i am very useles.. whenever i hit any difficulties, i keep trying to runaway from it. During the funeral, i told my uncle, i will look after my granny. Now, i will try to spend more time with her, at least she dun feel so empty.
If one day,i lose her, what will happen to me? I also dunno. Collapse? Went Crazy? Get myself drunk? Or swallow down all my tears?
Monday, March 07, 2011
Complicated Feelings
这几天，我去了红白喜事。。 去了红事，让我想嫁可是我还没遇到那个人。。 其实我曾经很爱他，我想过嫁给他。我不可能为了他一直停留在六年前。哈哈， 我一向来都不喜欢输，因为我来不及先说出口，所以我输了。我并不是很爱你，只是是我错，我心里有了那个遗憾，让我那么难受。。
白事让我想起了我公公和外婆。。 但我公公被火化时，我想起小时候，他疼我的时候。小时候妈妈和爸爸都没有空时，是他带我回家，煮饭给我吃。公公煮的炸鸡翅膀最好吃了。每当星期五时，他都会载我去我党姐家带她们来他家住。
外婆，她给我的回忆是我永远都忘不了的。她很疼我， 我可以说她每个人都很疼。当爸爸生病时，是她陪在我跟妈妈身别，照顾我们母女。 when i have chicken pox, she will be telling my mother what are the rules and asked me to follow them. She told me not to look into the mirror and i cannot meet up with any people. My gd friend came over and visit me and keep me accompany thru the days. The older i am, i started to doubt i will be so fortunate ma?
If one day, she pass away, will i be as strong as my friend? Or i will just collapse? Or i already been through one round, so this round shouldn't affect me that bad? But my relationship with her is stronger than my grandfather a lot more. She did a lot of things for me before. i always think that in this world.. nobody else will care for me as much as her.. hahaa.. maybe if one day she pass away, i dun think i am as lucky as my friend.. have so many pple standby her. being very selfish, i hopes my granny tat she will pass away soon. seeing her under so much pain, it hurts me badly. she is so old already, why do she still have to suffer so much? when i am ard 13, she suffers from Rheumatism.. only till last yr, she fell down.. her condition got deteriorate faster than i expected.. at first, i wished that she will live till the day i get marry. now,i wish heaven will let her go.. why.. u let her suffer so much pain.. ytd she was asking me.. will they come and visit her? she misses her kids and grandchildren.. but none of them visiting her often.. i understand the adults all are weak and sick.. wat abt her grandchildren? really nobody wants to care abt her? i feel is so saddening... she gt viral infection at her eyes.. she hardly see well now.. is so painful but she jus keep quiet.. don't even mention anything about it.. the stronger i see her.. the more i must learn..
白事让我想起了我公公和外婆。。 但我公公被火化时，我想起小时候，他疼我的时候。小时候妈妈和爸爸都没有空时，是他带我回家，煮饭给我吃。公公煮的炸鸡翅膀最好吃了。每当星期五时，他都会载我去我党姐家带她们来他家住。
外婆，她给我的回忆是我永远都忘不了的。她很疼我， 我可以说她每个人都很疼。当爸爸生病时，是她陪在我跟妈妈身别，照顾我们母女。 when i have chicken pox, she will be telling my mother what are the rules and asked me to follow them. She told me not to look into the mirror and i cannot meet up with any people. My gd friend came over and visit me and keep me accompany thru the days. The older i am, i started to doubt i will be so fortunate ma?
If one day, she pass away, will i be as strong as my friend? Or i will just collapse? Or i already been through one round, so this round shouldn't affect me that bad? But my relationship with her is stronger than my grandfather a lot more. She did a lot of things for me before. i always think that in this world.. nobody else will care for me as much as her.. hahaa.. maybe if one day she pass away, i dun think i am as lucky as my friend.. have so many pple standby her. being very selfish, i hopes my granny tat she will pass away soon. seeing her under so much pain, it hurts me badly. she is so old already, why do she still have to suffer so much? when i am ard 13, she suffers from Rheumatism.. only till last yr, she fell down.. her condition got deteriorate faster than i expected.. at first, i wished that she will live till the day i get marry. now,i wish heaven will let her go.. why.. u let her suffer so much pain.. ytd she was asking me.. will they come and visit her? she misses her kids and grandchildren.. but none of them visiting her often.. i understand the adults all are weak and sick.. wat abt her grandchildren? really nobody wants to care abt her? i feel is so saddening... she gt viral infection at her eyes.. she hardly see well now.. is so painful but she jus keep quiet.. don't even mention anything about it.. the stronger i see her.. the more i must learn..
Friday, January 21, 2011
i............
hahaaha... being very childish.. i am very afraid that i will fall in love with my gd friends.. hahaha.. first time being away from home for so many days.. first time i stepped out of airport, the person i saw was not my parents yet is my gd friend.. hahaa.. =D he was waiting for me there which i am very surprise.. hahaa.. seems like i am very happy when i switch on my phone.. i saw his sms.. he asked me whether i reached airport or not.. haahahaa..
as for my the other good friend... when i reached home carpark.. he is already at my house here.. i am so surprise.. hahahaa.. he will reach there earilier than me...
hahahaa.. i can't fall in love with gd friend.. yet i think they too pamper me.. i scare one day.. if they are attached.. i need to get drunk again?
Maybe is time for me to widen my circle of friends.. Hahaha.. Since the fortune teller already tell me that Nt likely I will be able to get
Marry or so call settle down...
as for my the other good friend... when i reached home carpark.. he is already at my house here.. i am so surprise.. hahahaa.. he will reach there earilier than me...
hahahaa.. i can't fall in love with gd friend.. yet i think they too pamper me.. i scare one day.. if they are attached.. i need to get drunk again?
Maybe is time for me to widen my circle of friends.. Hahaha.. Since the fortune teller already tell me that Nt likely I will be able to get
Marry or so call settle down...
Sunday, January 02, 2011
New year
Haha.... it had been very long tat I ever spend my Xmas or new year with my gd friends.. Erm.. I think the last time that we spend Xmas together was my last trip to bkk which was like 5 yrs ago when I am still working at my last company... Haaha.. Feeling is really different.. Nw
I started to know Wat kind of feelings I have.. Haaha....
Last year was it a good year for me.. Erm.. I dun think so.. Things wasn't
Tat great.... Maybe the first half year was pretty good but the second half year wa pretty screw up. Haizzzz .... Too many things happening ard.. I think I might need to find another to cover the highly incurred living costs or I had to cut down my extravagant spendthrift attitude.. First step to my success is to stop my spending speed.. Otherwise one day I will end up in debts.. =x
As for work wise, I know I will not have a chance to go for promotion this year.. Haiz.. Everything will be normal ba.. Now is hoping I dun get a very ugly grade for my apa.. If I didn't pass my exam.. Most likely I will have to quit my job.. I dun have the face to stay in the company anymore.. Haiz.. Really pray hard I will be able to get it done over with it.. 1.6k, I can pay for 7 mths of my granny nursing home charges..
As for relationship wise... Hahaha.. At the current moment, I haven't
Met the correct one.. Last wk, I went to fortune teller.. Haha.. So stupid.. But I believe wat she said... Naive? Maybe indeed I am really naive... Haha... She said once I did love the other person very deeply but ended he was being taken by others.. Haha.. Min
Now u dun have to tell yrself tat he gt all other reasons why he just left u in this manner.. Leaving a
Mystery for u to solve.. Haha.. No matter of how. I still have to face the truth and let go of it.. Otherwise I will not be able to start a new one.. :)
I started to know Wat kind of feelings I have.. Haaha....
Last year was it a good year for me.. Erm.. I dun think so.. Things wasn't
Tat great.... Maybe the first half year was pretty good but the second half year wa pretty screw up. Haizzzz .... Too many things happening ard.. I think I might need to find another to cover the highly incurred living costs or I had to cut down my extravagant spendthrift attitude.. First step to my success is to stop my spending speed.. Otherwise one day I will end up in debts.. =x
As for work wise, I know I will not have a chance to go for promotion this year.. Haiz.. Everything will be normal ba.. Now is hoping I dun get a very ugly grade for my apa.. If I didn't pass my exam.. Most likely I will have to quit my job.. I dun have the face to stay in the company anymore.. Haiz.. Really pray hard I will be able to get it done over with it.. 1.6k, I can pay for 7 mths of my granny nursing home charges..
As for relationship wise... Hahaha.. At the current moment, I haven't
Met the correct one.. Last wk, I went to fortune teller.. Haha.. So stupid.. But I believe wat she said... Naive? Maybe indeed I am really naive... Haha... She said once I did love the other person very deeply but ended he was being taken by others.. Haha.. Min
Now u dun have to tell yrself tat he gt all other reasons why he just left u in this manner.. Leaving a
Mystery for u to solve.. Haha.. No matter of how. I still have to face the truth and let go of it.. Otherwise I will not be able to start a new one.. :)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Erm.......
sha gua 有个死穴.. 其实我很怕,我没有把握会及格,无论如何我也要拼了命去考吧.. 希望我不会让大家失望..
有一个人陪了我二十六年, 最近她生病了.. 可能有一天,她会把我忘了.. 可是我一定不会忘了她曾经给我的爱.当我爸爸进医院时,是她陪在我和妈妈的生边. 每次她一定会在我们身边,遮风挡雨.. 也是应为她,我才有机会出国.. 每当我在房里时,我会想起她.. 如果有一天她真的走了,我会撑得下去吗?
有一个人陪了我二十六年, 最近她生病了.. 可能有一天,她会把我忘了.. 可是我一定不会忘了她曾经给我的爱.当我爸爸进医院时,是她陪在我和妈妈的生边. 每次她一定会在我们身边,遮风挡雨.. 也是应为她,我才有机会出国.. 每当我在房里时,我会想起她.. 如果有一天她真的走了,我会撑得下去吗?
Monday, October 18, 2010
wo hao bu kai xin
hahaa.. seriously acting in front of everyone, i am ok.. really looks so fake.. haha..
today my cousin told me.. she wondering whether my granny will survive thru next year chinese new year or not? hahaa.. should i be happy or should i be sad or maybe i should really ponder about this question? to me, family is very impt to me. maybe bcos from young, i am being shield from stormy days by family. she told me, once my granny pass away, we will not celebrate cny anymore. if one day, my granny pass away, will i be able to take it? or i will still be able to be professional to act as nothing happened and move on with it.
我老了，我也应该了解生死病老是常有的事。。
today my cousin told me.. she wondering whether my granny will survive thru next year chinese new year or not? hahaa.. should i be happy or should i be sad or maybe i should really ponder about this question? to me, family is very impt to me. maybe bcos from young, i am being shield from stormy days by family. she told me, once my granny pass away, we will not celebrate cny anymore. if one day, my granny pass away, will i be able to take it? or i will still be able to be professional to act as nothing happened and move on with it.
我老了，我也应该了解生死病老是常有的事。。
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
A Dream
最近我的伤口一直被挖开,可是我已经把他忘了,从新开始生活了.. 可是昨天的一场梦把我吓坏了.. 我梦见他和别人结婚了,也有一个幸福的家..我一直哭个不停,我是真的哭,还是在梦里哭.. 可是起来时我的眼睛好干... 其实如果当初我听了korkor 的话,说不定我现在已经得到我的幸福了.. 哈哈.. 可能,我对自己太过有信心了,以为他对我好是因为他喜欢我... 傻傻的还以为,他就是我的老公.. 哈哈... 我真的觉得我好苯,好天真.. 现在的我,没有想躲在爱人的环抱,我想躲在家里和朋友的环里.. 我是真的有很多很好的男性朋友, 可是我们都不会有开花结果的.. 因为经历了和他的事,我开始分不清什么是爱情与友情.. 而且,我没有那个美丽吸引到任何一位男人...
今年， 应该不会有那么多人陪我过生日，今年我应该会跟家里人庆祝吧。。 也会躲在genting到我生日那一天才回来跟papa度过吧。可能是应为家里这几个月家里发生了很多事，从我才一点失去了我的最爱，到她好了很多。。 是时候在家里多陪一下我爱的人。。
其实如果以前我没有假假的想知道你对我的感觉，可能我们还是好朋友。。 现在我对你的影响也开始越来越模糊了。。 我只有记得你说过的，min ai zai.. 不如老天爷，你给我一杯忘情水，把你给我的回忆洗掉，还是给我一个比你更疼爱我的人出现在我面前。。
今年， 应该不会有那么多人陪我过生日，今年我应该会跟家里人庆祝吧。。 也会躲在genting到我生日那一天才回来跟papa度过吧。可能是应为家里这几个月家里发生了很多事，从我才一点失去了我的最爱，到她好了很多。。 是时候在家里多陪一下我爱的人。。
其实如果以前我没有假假的想知道你对我的感觉，可能我们还是好朋友。。 现在我对你的影响也开始越来越模糊了。。 我只有记得你说过的，min ai zai.. 不如老天爷，你给我一杯忘情水，把你给我的回忆洗掉，还是给我一个比你更疼爱我的人出现在我面前。。
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Erm...
Erm... Nowadays my sunday are burn out. Most of the time, i will spend my time at old folks home. Time passes very fast, it had been one month she stayed there. But from her face, i can see that she is not very willingly to stay there. Not too bad, i still manage to send her mooncake on mooncake's festival. If one day, i can get marry? will she still be at my side? on last sat, i am still so proud of myself that i can finally forget about him. at this moment, suddenly feel so empty, hoping that someone will be with me.. whenever i go visit her.. although she never open her mouth asking where is my the other half, i guess she would wants me to find one and settle down.
School going to start soon, i will be more busy as compare to now. My team lead trying to pull me back to the grade that i had for this year.. i had to try harder to push for my apa if i am planning to stay in this company.. all of these will be a big question mark.. whether i will stay here till july or not..
School going to start soon, i will be more busy as compare to now. My team lead trying to pull me back to the grade that i had for this year.. i had to try harder to push for my apa if i am planning to stay in this company.. all of these will be a big question mark.. whether i will stay here till july or not..
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Old Folks Home
Later in the afternoon, my granny will discharge from nuh. Then she will goes to there immediately she discharge.. Heart seriously feel very painful.. Now start to scare she cannot get use to there. sometimes maybe min arh.. u are just being useless. you can't take care of her.. when u are young, who protect you from your parents? who buy you computer when u need for studies? Who looks after you when your dad is in hospital? who always give u extra pocket money? who always buy breakfast for you when she is here? who always throw tantrum to her, yet she never scold you before? who always be there for you? who will help your family to solve problems within her means? who always make milo for you in the morning? who always make bread for you in the morning?
who who who who who.. who had been wu wei bi zhi de cao gu ni..
who who who who who who..
who who who who who.. who had been wu wei bi zhi de cao gu ni..
who who who who who who..
Monday, August 23, 2010
haiz...
today ah ma told me that she knows she going to stay at old folks home after she is being discharge... but she told me that she will be able to go back home.. once she recover.. my tears almost dropped out... actually i should knows the only time when she can goes back is only went she left me.. suddenly i feel so empty.. thinking abt someone nagging at me when i came back from work.. someone who will make milo for me before i go work.. someone who will make bread for me.. someone who will take care of min.. min arh.. so old, everyday still crying.. seriously hor.. after ks left me, i never felt so painful till the day went my ah ma fell down and when i know she is going old folks home... is it bcos i have very negative feelings towards old folk home or ??? i feel like depending on someone.. haha.. who can i depend on? my heart is so painful...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Feeling sad
Hahaa.. Recently been very emotional especially the day when i know grandma's admitted hospital. Actually i should get use to people will die one day and we still have to move on in life. But don't know why, everyday i will just cry behind my blanket. She is still ok but just bedridden in hospital. Something very sad is that once she discharge, she will be place in old folks home. I feel so painful but i couldn't said anything. Staying in old folks home, only good thing is that got someone to look after her. But.... sometimes at night you will see pple pass away, is tat good for one person mentally? or she already had prepared for the worst?
Recently i been very hardworking that almost everyday, i will go visit her. Next time when she moves to old folks home, how can i go and visit her everytime?
Min feels very remorseful.. Seriously when i am young, i am very rebellious.. she had a hard time to take care of me when i am young. guess this will be my breakdown point. Can't imagine that if suddenly i lost her, how long will be my breakdown point? These few days i kept thinking of the memories that she gave me, i wants to keep them and she is the only one beside my parents who dotes me. When i am young, she will try to give me watever i wants, so now i am old, i will try to give her watever she wants and she needs..
ah ma, wo ai ni .. ni shi zui teng wo de. ni bu yao you shi, wo ba zhi ji hui cheng bu zhu.
Recently i been very hardworking that almost everyday, i will go visit her. Next time when she moves to old folks home, how can i go and visit her everytime?
Min feels very remorseful.. Seriously when i am young, i am very rebellious.. she had a hard time to take care of me when i am young. guess this will be my breakdown point. Can't imagine that if suddenly i lost her, how long will be my breakdown point? These few days i kept thinking of the memories that she gave me, i wants to keep them and she is the only one beside my parents who dotes me. When i am young, she will try to give me watever i wants, so now i am old, i will try to give her watever she wants and she needs..
ah ma, wo ai ni .. ni shi zui teng wo de. ni bu yao you shi, wo ba zhi ji hui cheng bu zhu.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Confused~~ Puzzled~~
I had a confused feeling, wondering whether do i like him or ? hahaa.. comedy.. min arh min.. u told yrself before u will not fall in love with any of yr gd friend.. step out hor.. dun step into the line again for fire.. hahahaahaa..
this feeling should be able to fade away soon ba~~~ hopefully i can meet the correct one soon.. otherwise i will die arh.. =x
this feeling should be able to fade away soon ba~~~ hopefully i can meet the correct one soon.. otherwise i will die arh.. =x
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
其实我心里还放不下`。。
哈哈。。 我是真的爱上他， 还是我依赖他？心里真的感到怪怪的。。 我们两也分开了那么久，为什么心里还是怪怪的。是我不肯放开手还是应为我还没有谈恋爱。。 可能自己没有那个魅力，吸引到你。如果我们在一起又会有这么的结局？说不定我们还是以分手的结局收场。。
就像我跟korkor有同一样的结局。在也没有像以前那么好了。。 我同时间失去了两个好朋友。。
心里有何感觉？我也不清楚。。
就像我跟korkor有同一样的结局。在也没有像以前那么好了。。 我同时间失去了两个好朋友。。
心里有何感觉？我也不清楚。。
Saturday, June 19, 2010
其实min没有那么坚强
哈哈!! 我觉得有些时候我非常地好胜,可是其实我也有软弱的一面. 我好像把它深深埋起来,不可别人看到我那一面. 最近也发生了很多事情,我也有一点吓坏了. 那天,我拿了半天,冲忙得赶下去NUH. 因为早上外婆就不舒服了,一大清早就说要去医院.妈妈说她可以应付,叫我别谈心,放心的去做工. 心理好担心可是还是硬着头皮去做工,要到下午时,我给妈妈打给电话,她说她还没看医. 也找不到我叔叔,所以我就拿了半天,下去医院. 到了那里,我看着妈妈担心的脸孔,坐在那里等着我来.我带着她们去了急症室求医. 一副不怕的表情,cool cool 的登记.我还被护士说你不会英文阿! 真是他妈的,老人家不好意思说出口,我那里会知道.
人与人之间的相处就象在走在危险的干丝，一不小心的踩错一步就会把两人之间的脆弱的瓜关系给破坏了
人与人之间的相处就象在走在危险的干丝，一不小心的踩错一步就会把两人之间的脆弱的瓜关系给破坏了
Sunday, May 09, 2010
life....
Recently, i starts school already. Can imagine that i study for so long yet, i still haven't graduate.. Really is miss stupid.. Miss stupid put all her heart in work or she just dun like to study?
As for work.. i also dunno hw to said.. Have here become my comfort zone that i dun wish to move? or ????
Hahaha.. Actually i am a woman that xin dong very easily.. Am i someone easy to understand or someone very hard to understand. He seems to understand me so well. Or just by coincidence that he knows me too well. But we two won't be possible to be together. I dun wish history reappear again. Once is enough, i had learnt my lesson. Time to move forward, find a good guy and settle down. Don't act to be cool.. Hahaha..
A few weeks ago, mummy told me that they are planning to put my granny to old folk homes.. I feel so sad.. cried a few nights.. I also know that granny's health deteriorating as time passes.. But i really hopes she can see me settle down before she left me..
haiz.... headache~~~
As for work.. i also dunno hw to said.. Have here become my comfort zone that i dun wish to move? or ????
Hahaha.. Actually i am a woman that xin dong very easily.. Am i someone easy to understand or someone very hard to understand. He seems to understand me so well. Or just by coincidence that he knows me too well. But we two won't be possible to be together. I dun wish history reappear again. Once is enough, i had learnt my lesson. Time to move forward, find a good guy and settle down. Don't act to be cool.. Hahaha..
A few weeks ago, mummy told me that they are planning to put my granny to old folk homes.. I feel so sad.. cried a few nights.. I also know that granny's health deteriorating as time passes.. But i really hopes she can see me settle down before she left me..
haiz.... headache~~~
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
.....
Really speechless.. i also don't know what i wants in life.. Pls enlighten me..
Hahaha.. Really Crappy leh.. the insurance acting like my close friend like that.. Talk so much rubbish with me.. or recently, i become more and more crappy.. =x
hai~~ recently quite sad.. my back once in while, will give me problem... sob sob.. seems like my health is giving me green light.. =x
Hahaha.. Really Crappy leh.. the insurance acting like my close friend like that.. Talk so much rubbish with me.. or recently, i become more and more crappy.. =x
hai~~ recently quite sad.. my back once in while, will give me problem... sob sob.. seems like my health is giving me green light.. =x
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