contradicting..

nowadays never been blog anything at all~~ can't deny~~~ life been quite gd~~ but.. dunno is ever since wat i heard from pple causes me to drift apart from a friend.. or i start to..... hahaha.. i might or i did.. or i said the wrong thing that causes a breakup of a couple? or so called i am good at it?

seriously.. i had friends that relationship is much more complex than me.. yet i always support her.. hahaha.. min arh min.. u siao le mah? how can u do tat.. guess u bcome abnormal..

why u can except this yet not that? or bcos of other pple comments tat causes u to change your mindset again and again?

hahaa.. i always listen to korkor.. there is a time where i never listened to him.. yet tat time i have never listened to him.. i fell.. hahaa.. just now friends was mentioning abt the past that i had.. i just avoid the topic..

guess i am a bastard.. did i hurt nanny before? i dunno.. did i hurt him yet i didn't know at all.. to be frank.. i know i hurt my parents quite bad on one night.. maybe that was the nite that they know i am still badly hurt inside me yet i never tell them at all..

korkor cursed me on tat day when i can't meet him up~~ i never be with him when he needs me.. there was a time that i need someone to be with me.. he came down and be with me~~ hear me cried.. before he left.. he bought a pack of sweets and tell me.. Jia you.. dun give up.. study hard for exams.. maybe that time korkor was not with me.. accompanying me study at mac.. i might not have pass my o level.. i am still the little girl who will remember who treats me gd.. when pple treats me gd.. i tend to bcome very soft le... korkor.. i never forget those times that u be with me.. i know u might not want to see me again~ seriously i dun mind to see him again.. as long as i know he is happy and healthy.. i am ok le~~

someone.. hahaa.. he changes my life.. i cried for him? or i stand from the point of past that i was being pamper by him.. or so called i never cherish him before? he understands me more than anyone.. he said wat.. i listen wat.. i really feel happy for that point of moment although he is not there for me when i need him~~ said already mah.. min very easy de mah~~ as long as u treats me very gd.. min.. will ok de..

haahaha... nanny.. i met on the day after my cousin's pass away ba~~ he saw me drunk.. opps.. he is a very gd friend.. after most of the friends that i can talk to had slowly left me.. he bcome in.. when i know nanny.. someone haven really left me.. hahaa.. so called i also never cherish him.. he also gt his pretty shanghai girl mah.. why would he cares abt me so much.. all he did is... gd morning, min.. take care..

why leh? min very weak mah.. cannot take care of hereself mah? i admit lah.. i am weak.. when u are away for one month.. i cried most of the times.. jil is the one be with me.. then korkor hospitalised.. haha...

after so many years.. my friend told me i never changed at all.. jil said i changed le~~ guess i know y he said i changed le~~ i never cried that easily as in the past le~~ now i am much more stronger.. but i can said i lose a lot also during these few years..

Relationship?

hai~~ guess now most of them know the truth le~~ dun need to keep quiet le ba~~ erm~~ guess the only person who gt hurts the most is A.. This is wat she quote in her friendster~~ "一只手是拍不响的，两只才拍得响。人的心是 会变得，没有想过移情别恋的伤害，我也会尝 试到。最不可示意的是我一直别人骗。" seriously~~ i agree~~ she really got hurt very deeply~~ in a relationship~~ why pple always tend to said break that easily.. why they can't communicate? erm~~ is it so easily to give up someone who u had been for more than 3 years or reaching 3 years? does this guy deserve a chance to be trust~~ or am i having a very immature thinking? In reality, there is no such thing called fairy tale story~~ i know that this incident had hurt a few pple~~ hope everyone can grow from it and find a better future~~ while~~ i think i am being very evil~~ i know the incident yet i kept quiet all the while~~ cos i promise not to said to anyone~~~

hai~~ i talked to ant last sat~~~ i told him hw i felt~~ he said i should nt felt in this way~~ i told him i want to avoid gathering for a peroid of time~~ he said why? there is nothing wrong~~ but i know my quietness~~ had hurt two of my other buddies~~ i...... sometimes they are there for me~~ and look after me~~~ so~~~ haiz~~~ i really speechless.. min.. where is the trust for friendship? loyalty..

or am i standing at a point of being ditched~~ that's why i feel sad.. or my imagination getting haywire again? haiz`~ currently sometimes i got dear care~~~ can't deny~~ dear is making me to fall in love with him~~~ but hw long can this feeling last? i really dunno~~ i dun even know whether it can cover the pain i had inside which i had kept for almost 3 years? sometimes brothers they all will look after me also~~ they hear me grumble the same thing again and again~~ seriously.. i know i had much more stronger bond with them~~ rather the rest~~ haha~~~ i will not forget hw brother take care of me tat day till he almost want to puke blood~~~ i might not be the most xin fu person at the current moment~~ i know if i fell i might have no support like what i had in the past~~ yet i still slowly growing~~ i hope i will be growing stronger everyday~~ and let u go out of my mind~~ maybe all of us will be happier~~ u never hurt me before~~ is just that i am holding on to a past that is over~~ which i had the pain in me~~ cos i am nt the one who let go of the hand first~~ or so called we did not communicate well before we let go~~ tat's why causing one party to feel hurt~~~

haiz~~ hopes everything will go well for everyone~~ everyone will find their true love in the coming year~~ and hopes that this friendship bond that wil had will last another 10 years ba~~ althought now i can see a few cracks now~~` haiz~~