haha.. i fall sick again.. been keep falling sick for this whole year... two mths ago.. got high fever now... kana attacked by flu virus again.. kor came and find me today.. so sweet.. and he said next week treat me eat sakae.. erm.. listen can liao.. next week than i will know the truth.. never regret to have this kor.. cos he know this week.. i sad sad.. so.. haha.. had a talk with him also.. seriously my feelings really mixed up le.. i really duno wat i wan le.. so tiring.. can give me 1 min to breath...

i know jil, xuer and one of my gd friend when i broke up with my ex.. now.. everything was like in a mess.. xuer asked me.. she tot i fall in love with jil.. hai~~~ jil and my ah-kor is the same.. we know tat we will nt cross over tat line tat we had drawn in the first place. but.. i had crossed over the line tat me and my gd friend drawn.. tot tat attending the forum can help me to unlock my tie.. in the first place it seems like working.. now.. a bit confused again..

yesterday i went to take something from my friend.. finally, i managed to lend it from him.. but he really makes me very irritated.. i dunno why also.. he actually promise to pass to me on friday.. he said he was tired. fine.. i said another day... in a while later.. he msg me.. "i pass to u later.. since i am driving and i need to pass my friend some stuffs" ***** i know i nt your gf but pls respect me a bit can?
the same thing happened again yesterday...

***i delete the following post.

last weekend i went to attend a forum.. erm.. ok lah.. but... i did close my eyes for a while... but sh.......... dun tell anyone.. later sure kana whack by my boss... really tiring.. from 7am to 9pm.. maybe i need to had a hard life.. i cannot sit there for the whole day doing nothing except listening... but the food there was nice.. temasek country club was like a holiday resort from some other countries... i seems like i had left sg for 3 days.. but in fact i am still in sg... luckily got someone send me back hm... daddy was nt free for that whole month... and nobody want to send me back home.. so sad... got no pple pamper me le... hai~~~ but never mind.. all got their happiness le.. hehe...

story to be contiuned... cos i still got to work now..... byebye.... :P

two weeks ago.. i went to ktv with my cousin and followed by tat we went to watch the fireworks over at Marina there.. we even had a pinic over there.. hehe.. bought a lot of food.. i like the potato salad over the liang court.. the green-tea icecream is bagus!! MUST try!!! real taste good but ex..

been slacking all the way on national day's eve..hehe.. :P

went to watch NDP at padang.. sort of it ........... maybe i should not had choose at padang.. so hot over there.. plus.. sit beside an idiotic auntie.. she got the guts to someone smoking over there.. but when she was wrong.. she act damn innocent... wah kao.. no MANNERS!!! so old liao.. still no manners..only how to create trouble..I miss my fireworks show also.. make my day more worst.. the screen were actually blocking my view..sian...

last sat.. went out at 10am.. ended up i reached hm ard 12 midnight.. wah piang.. my leg so painful.. it had been such a long time that i ever went out for so long.. maybe tat can test my patience for tomorrow forum.. hai~~ i went to meet my poly in the afternoon.. we had lunch and shopping for a while.. then went to swensen for desert.. after tat.. i went to suntec to meet my cousin to catch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.. hehe..:P i like it so much...

When i am young, i been thru stuffs that i thinks really very tough in life. I had never handle well with anything ended with a "ship" before.

In primary school, we had a bunch of friends who are quite close. Furthermore, i got a friend who falls on the same birthday as me. We tends to celebrate birthday together and sabotage each others. Those moments were really very sweet. But definitly we did quarrel before and do a lot of childish stuffs. Slowly we get apart, all of us are no longer tat close anymore. Sometimes just met up for a drink or pool sessions.

While as for secondary school, i tends to got often into friendship problem. Can you believe that? To me, i really stunned. I never tot of that will happen in my life. Sometimes have some family matters but definitely not friendship. As time passes, friendship's problem tends to get into a worst situation where else 3 of us all got hurt. The worst thing was we dragged down another girl who is innocent. It might be a very small matter but seriously i dunno when it bcome so serious. Both of them are very good friends.. we seems like snatching for bf like tat, pushing each other here and there. complicated story where the ending is we are still apart now.

In poly life, things get really smooth. Nothing much happened, just that things around me seems to be worst. Tends to lose a lot in life. Perharps maybe he was walking with me thru my poly days. That's why i feel so happy ba. This coming saturday will be my cousin 1 year anniversary. He passed away at 8.45pm at nite where all of us were nt around. That one month to me was like chao. As normal, i still went to starbucks to revise for my exams. Secretly i went to Changi Airport. I departed there to went over to Aus to find auntie while after a year he left us. Ever since he left sg, he had never ever step into his hometown. At Changi Airport i sort out my thinkings. At tat moments, i wanted to give up everything around me and just concentrate on my studies. I told myself i won't look back with the decision i made or turn back the path. I am wrong, i turn back the path and look for him again. I had never knew he had bcome a habit of mine or something which i couldn't afford to lose. During my examinations period, got a friend motivate me to study. Tat's was tian tian. I knew him thru a chat on my birthday. Maybe his is my guardian angel for tat period of time. He very poor thing, i always bully him and he always hear me cried. I cried too much behind of him but he will never knew the truth. When he was aboard for more than one month. I was like counting down the days n i never knew tat i had actually mess up my life during that period of time. I got tian tian into trouble. I feel really regret, he just a very good friend cos he always lend me a lending ear when tears following down. I tends to act strong in front of others but once i am alone it might turn out another way. During my examination period, there were times i wanted to give up but due to the support given by tian. I manage to got my best results in my entire poly life. He was like threatening me, he kept remind me have u forgetten wat u promised your cousin? Yes, i do remember wat i promise him. Really thanks for tat period u motivate me study when he was away.Maybe i always unlucky, nt long after my birthday kor admitted hospital due to accident. Hai~ i went to visit him but once i heard he going for operation, i left the place. He actually expects me to stay there and accompany him. Sorry, i just dun have the courage to stay there. When Siok admitted hospital, i guess i scared my friend. It was on a friday nite, after standing outside waiting to visit my grandma who just came out from the operation theatre. Ard 8, i had to rushed all the way to tan tock seng to visit siok. She was lying helpless there, seriously my heart feel damn painful. Someone who is the same age as me and same birthday as me, lying there. Nt more than 5 mins in the ward, i rushed down. I found an excuse to go down. MY tears was rolling when i was walking out of the ward. Imagine how helpless i am, i called my kor, him, jiefu and someone else(A).. only A picked up the call.. him and jiefu was in army... while kor was having karate.. so poor thing, i dun have a girl friend to call. The next day, xiao and i went over to accompany her for the whole day. There were tons of words that we wanted to express out just tat we all keep it. and never want to reveal it out.

My working life... my colleagues are very nice, they treats me as a small kid. They willing to teach me and explain to me. Before my working life starts, i lose so much things that i dunno how to stand again. There might have loses or gain in life. This time round i am a bore loser. My guy good friend or my dear sister (Mr Gary)... i know i always get into trouble.. u been asking me to forget him cos he hurts me too deep le... thanks for your concern for these months.. i really very lost cos i haven find the right way to carry on to walk my path...

Conclusion:
Never knew tat it will be so painful when he was without with me. Maybe is just like when u got on smoking and now u need to quit smoking. The kind of feeling is really unbearable.

Never knew that losing a kin was tat painful. And it makes me more to cherish kins around me.

Thanks to my parents and relatives for showering me with care and concern in my life

Never felt tat lost before, guess next time round when i do things. I MUST use head to think and avoid unnecesary misunderstandings.

Thanks to all my friend who been thru with me till now.