Changi Airport is a place where i always tend to hide when i am down.. why? Nobody will knows why i loved that place so much..or either why i always want to go there. Nothing is special over there, nobody will wants to go unless he or she is leaving sg. Maybe since secondary school days, CA is a place where we always hangout. A place where most of us will celebrate our birthday. Last year, i went with nanny to celebrate my 21th birthday at T1 Swensen. T1 swensen had always been the one where we hang out frequently. It gives me ton of memories.

A few years ago, we belong to a group of carefree people. We not think about relationship just hanging around each other. As time passes, a few of us had entered relationship path, how many of us really maintain a relationship? how many of us make scarfices for his/her relationship. Wat it turn out to be? I am not a person good at talking but i am a person who is good at behave like kid. Not to deny, although i am turning 22 years old in a few days time, I still behave like a kid. I am an indecisive person, i may do this but i am thinking of something else. I tends to cry easily nowaday, due to stress or pressure from work? or due to a pain inside my heart. I couldn't find a way out.. Guess i am stuck.. Seriously, i dun even know wat i want for birthday present... hahaa.. i dun lack of anything, currently i am not going after for branded stuffs but i dare not said i will not go after it. hahaha... :P pple ard me are wearing/buying branded.. haha.. maybe one day, i can't stand tempation, i will go after it. guess i just want care from pple.. haha... maybe i too weak le...

As for relationship, i really envy or maybe jealous ba.. When u go on the streets, how many of the couples can last till forever? how many couples still hold hands like when they are ard 60s or older.. Maybe i do not have the confident of stepping into a relationship or maybe i am scare of getting hurt. Cos is really painful when u fall for someone yet mayb he/she nt the one meant for you or maybe it only last for a few years. I am not saying that nowadays no relationship will last forever. But is the way you see things.. If you can't cherish wat he/she is, there is no way things will last. As time passes, he/she will change. Can you still accept that she/he turns old or bcome bald or have a big tummy or thick makeups or fatter or etc........ Nowadays in this society, there are more than enuff tempations that who can promised that they will never go astray.. Can a relationship really last as long as wat the elders had ? Are our thinkings in sink with their thinkings? Guess nope...

Last Saturday, i went to attend wedding dinner at suntec convention centre. As usual, was a big of group of us but one person is missing tat is grandpa. He is no longer participating in any event/function with us, yet i still see a shadow of him ard us. Maybe i do not have enuff sleep, that's why i am dreaming ba. Everybody was stunned when they heard that sometimes i worked till 2 to 3am. The bridegroom is so how my relative, as the bride was someone from china? Erm.. As usual, we don't know anything abt her. Is only heard that they met in China and they are working in the same company. But to me, she looks like a singaporean more than from shanghai. After they get married, they will go back to shanghai to contiune to carry on with their fairytale. Maybe at the point of the moment, i got think that when is going to be my chance to pursue my fairytale to start. haha.. maybe there won't be any fairytale happening in my life.

As pple ard me of so called pple who can been with me walking thru my relationship life with me.. They tend to suffer a lot cos i changed my mind a lot. I may said i love you but in the end i want to break cos i thinking i am dun suit you. Or maybe u should derserve someone better than me or maybe we shouldn't drag things for so long. we should go seperate ways..i hurt myself too often till i tot i am numb, i no longer had any feeling... but when he left me.. i tot i am fine, i will be ok with it.. till now i still dun understand.. when i am watching a movie/drama and it tend to have a sad ending, the pain inside me grows and i burst into tears.. why? stress? or unhappiness abt work? or ???

Tomorrow, i had a date with my director.. sigh~~ can i control my emotions? Can i control my words? Those pple who knows me well should know that, i am not good at controlling words.. therefore.. a bit........... hai~~~~~~