Saturday, August 19, 2006

i had been running away from everything except my work.. i know my mind is not in a stable mood again.. thinking of you, it hurts me much more.. ytd, i asked my colleague a question.. will you still be friend with your ex? she said yes but will not meet him again.. or maybe i seeing too many pple having their dar/dear/lao gong love them so much.. makes me of envy them? or maybe i dun have my luck to find someone who dotes me tat often.. who will listen to my grumble.. or i dun cherish things ard me.. last nite, i hid in my room as tears roll down again.. my emotion rushed down as fast as they can.. today when i am online, he chat with me..

xxx said :
Hey Hey

xxx said :
how's life?

min said :
ok lah

min said :
how abt you?

**waited for 15 mins.. no reply..
** another 5 mins... no reply..

min said :

xx can you leave me? i really feel very painful. i think i am a failure. you leave me so long yet i still couldn't forget. xx u hurt me damn painful or maybe i should said i hurt myself too deep. i pursue something which there is no feelings for me in the first place and just fall foolishly..

the end of the chat...

min dun be silly can.. some stuffs tat are over is already over.. nothing can twist it back.. once a person had changed or had a firm mind, nothing can changes.. you used to be so good to me.. who will hear my grumbles everyday.. said i dunno how to cook.. slowly.. i learn some my mum.. said i spendrift.. buy a $3 water chestnut drink.. u ask me wat.. i will be very honest and reply you.. i really dunno when i had fall for you.. when u might just treat me like a sister.. just like korkor want to protect me bcos i am very weak.. and it will reflect tat u are stronger than me. why? why is it me? if things had turned tat sour right at the beginning, i will not choose to contiune tat kind of feelings.. or relationship.. my cousin asked me.. you and him got no problems at all.. why didn't u all had started.. maybe she is wrong.. u dun have feelings for me.. tat's why we didn't start.. guess i need more time to forget you totally.. otherwise no matter i had stepped into how many relationships.. i still can't forget.. i always tend to compare pple with you..

this is song tat is descibing my feelings...

Monday, August 14, 2006

on the 9 of Aug...
Promised mum that i will take her out to shop.. We went to meet my auntie they all over at ikea but we did not went there for shopping cos mummy complaining too many pple.. Therefore we head queensway for shopping but also a lot of pple.. hai~~~ after tat we went to town for fireworks.. hai~~~ dunno why this year dun really feel like watching.. After tat we head home.. WAT!~~~~ i am being stuck in a traffic jam again.. hai~~~~~~ ~

on the 10 of Aug.. back to work.. of cos got to work OT again.. trying to pull out the data for the user and trying very hard to solve the issues.. changes a bit of attitude for my work.. but seriously i really feel stress and pressure... or i am a scary cat.. everything also scare or i am not courageous to take up the challenge.. i dun dare to promise i will not ruin the data. When i start to take up this job, everyone is telling me that this is a big project, you can participate is a good learning slope for you. I had overcome a challenge of the first part. Now another obstacle is here, it showing you that nothing will remain the same. As time passes, you had to face the challenge one by one..

on the 11 of Aug.. went to Aunt's house for a short stay... of cos i went to gym with my cousin.. and went jacuzzi.. i need a break otherwise i will collaspe very fast.. i realised that nowadays health is getting weaker and weaker.. i need to train up, otherwise i will faint down sooner or later..

on the 12 of Aug, my cousin woke me up ard 10plus.. Did a bit of brush up, we went to kbox at Jurong central... After tat we head to IMM to buy some snacks as lunch.. Ard 4 plus, i head home..

Conclusion for the month..
These few months, a lot of things happened.. i dun dare to ask anyone to stand in my position. Everyone tot tat i had recovered. I not a machine, every moment will be there crack a joke or trying to said something that will please you. I don't know how to explain how my dramatic mood happened. I dun know how to tell you how i feel about everything that occuring around me. Who can understand how i feel now? Guess nobody does that including myself. When grandpa passed away, i tot i can stand firm.. in the end, i can't even stand firm myself.. i collaspe in front of shifu and yiying and some of my gd friends.. Bulldog jio me go chiong bcos i want to go for a drink.. shifu received some weird msg from me.. What he and korkor does to me?? Neither a phonecall nor a msg. Seriously, this two persons used to be very closed with me, now all of us had bcome stranger. I dun even know how to face them.. not a single of courage. I can't deny, i cried for them before. How i met him? A phonecall when i cried.. that is how we started.. I still remembered that nite vividly.. korkor left me with 10 voicemail scolding me.. and i cried.. he is the one listening to me..

Nanny.. i dunno whether u still can remember that i watched the click.. i cried until very jialat. i did not tell you the truth.. i feel the pain inside my heart. i did not learn to cherish things in front of me often.. i feel really painful on that moment when i saw him passed away. These few years, i been seeing pple walking out of my life.. that day when mummy fell down at genting, i tot i will lose her too..

senior told me before when the moment u stop mentioning abt him.. is when u really forget him.. why?? it had been so long.. yet i still dun have the courage to let go? i been wondering if one day he and his gf standing in front of me, how would i feel? Can i face it? why i want to pursue something which dun have any ending...

Can i stop crying for friendship? I really tired le.. one is someone who i used to love.. one is someone who is very close to me.. both of them know me too well.. do you tat.. whenever i broke the friendship which either one of you.. i will cried like a mad woman.. do u know how often i drop my tears bcos of you all.. when i lose my kins.. where are you all? or maybe i just making up an excuses to make me feel better.. one will check my homework.. will be there for me when i dun cried..
another one is will be there for me and protect me.. yet i am hurt.. why?? bcos of someone who i love.. or bcos of someone who take care of me...

Everything is my fault!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

on the 22 of July, after checking to hotel we went over to TImes Square for shopping.. After that we realise that was not what we want, we went to Sugnoi Wang (erm.. i forget how to spell le.. ).. When we are trying the clothes and busy shopping, we realise that omg.. we are late.. ard 8.30, we called a friend of ours that we will be late.. Hahaha.. they are on time while we are late.. Luckily, i got a m'sia sim card.. furthermore is very cheap, only $10 and can call back sg. I bought a cardigan and a skirt.. lol.. : P We faster rushed back to hotel to meet my colleagues. Guess wat, we were pretty late and we are stuck in the carnival.. omg..
Two cars waiting for us, they brought us to a japanese restuarant called fireworks. The environment there is decorated by fireworks poster. Those pple who knoes should know i like to watch fireworks, i will normally ask pple out to watch fireworks. The food there was not bad too but i still prefer sun with moon. After that, we were planning to go for drinking session but guess it was pretty late and therefore we head back to hotel. Guess wat 3 girls does? They went upstairs and put down their stuffs and head down for shopping spree again. Haha. Again, i bought a bag over there too... Ard 12 plus, we went back to hotel and take a quick bath. While waiting for the hair to dry, we were doing some chats.. : ) Ard 2plus, three of us knocked out. As we slept opposite ways of wat other pple does due to some fatal objects might dropped down in any moment. We pull out the blankets and just cover our ankles. But as the night grows darker, we feel more and more cold.. I woke up due to i am too cold, therefore i start to pull up the blanket a bit n nt affecting others.. tick tock.... tick tock.... 6am in the morning.. haha.. two of them already pull the blanket extremely up.. while.. i am feeling terrible cold.. lol.. :P ard 7am.. i still lazing on the bed.. while one of my friend woke up and brush up, preparing to go down and had breakfast..

On the 23 of July..
7.30am - Breakfast
8.30am - Back to hotel room for ladies... hehehee.. : )
9.00am - Lobby... waiting for departure...
9.05am - Broad the bus ...
9.15am - Reached sultan's place and took a pic with the horse.. hheehe..
10 plus - We went to Central Market and we bought 6 bracelets..
11 plus - We went to Mid-Valley. Over there is like a typical Singapore Shopping centre but is much more bigger than wat we have over here. They have Carrefour, California Gym, donut, kenny rogers, watson, faceshop, bodyshop and etc..
2 plus - We went to Times Square for lunch at Chicken Hertz, everything chicken.. erm.. the food there are so-so only.. After that we went to take a look at the indoor theme park and head to sungei wang for shopping spree again.. :)
5pm - We went to Chinatown.. wahaha.. of cos, i, auntie know how to bargain, if we dun bargain, sure very logi.. lol.. From a 65rm bag bargain till 25rm.. haha.. Good right?? Bcos i like to go pasa malam but nowadayd seldom bargain le.. :P Bought two bags there.. :)
7 plus - We went to have dinner, omg we just had lunched at 2 plus.. we are just trying to eat some..
8 plus - We are back to hotel room, guess wat of cos me this naughty girl dun wish to stay in hotel room for the night. We went out for window shopping and i need to change for money cos i spent too much le.. : P
10 plus - we are back to hotel room.. Pom Pom time...
12 plus - All knocked out le, bcos everyone are really very tired...

24 of July..
6 plus - We had already wake up and lazing on the bed..
7 plus - We start to pack up our stuffs..
8 plus - We went for breakfast and took some pics ard the hotel..
10 - We went back to hotel room.. trying to squeeze everything inside my lugguage and watch tv.. : )
11am - Is time to check out.. and leave KL..
11.30am - We went to a chocolate outlet. Guess wat i like the chocolate there a lot.. And i bought a lot of chocolate back.. 2 packets of Durians chocolate, 3 boxes of coffee, 1 packet of tirumisu and 1 packet of dark chocolate almond shared with another 2 person.. Total Cost of chocolate cost me : 170+RM.
12 plus - We went to somewhere nearby to take the pic of KLCC due to we do not have enuff time to visit there. Somemore the mati asked us faster go away.. guess it was due to the asian minister meeting helding somewhere near there...
1 plus - We went to mid-valley for lunch and we did some shopping also... i bought another 2 tshirts from there... lol...:P
2 plus - We head back to Singapore...
5 plus - We stopped at native product shop to buy local products.. Guess wat my friends need to purchase 3 sets.. one for her family, one for her bf's family and one for her colleagues. Omg!!!! She need two baskets to put all her stuffs.. :) Even the guys over there are teasing her whether she need another basket or not.. hehehe.. :P
6pm - We stopped over at a canteen there for dinner.. While other pple went down for dinner, we were busy packeting our stuffs. i think we had four bags of food and chocolate each?
9pm - We reached RH.. My friend's dad send another girl who stayed nearby home. While me waiting alone at RH for my dad. When my dad saw me, he stunned.. I had 3 bags of food.. one luggage.. omg..... :P

on the 25 of July
Back to work and i am extreme tired due to the long journey i had ytd. Somemore i worked OT till 9.. sob sob..

on the 26 - 28 of July..
All abt work and work..
26 of July, i went to learn how to make chocolate ice cream cake.. hahahaa.. the lesson is so boring.. no hands on... sigh~~~~~~~

28 of July, i went to watched pirates of carribean with one of my friends.. hehee.. it was a pretty nice movie... :)

on the 29 of July..
The starting of my new lesson DATASTAGE!!!! omg!!!! i dun understand the logic.. this is where my stress and pressure start to build up le.. one of my colleagues gave me a treat at delifrance.. so nice of him.. :) Ard 5 plus, i went back home and i don't know there is a surcharge of $2.. Shit!!! but anyway i am already very tired.. once i reached home i already knocked out.. Supposing there is a gathering at nite.. And i did said i don't want to go.. But ever since i start telling my gd friend tat i dun want to go.. of cos he tell my lao po... and the story goes on and on... i start to receive msgs from 5 pple asking me why i dun want to go and etc.. but i did tell my shifu.. i nt going.. I was extremely tired.. i didn't know that i can wake up at 7pm.. In the end, i rushed down to meet them.. but i am being held up by the jam due to NDP Preview.. Omg!! When i reached there is already 8.30.. hai~~~` not my fault ma.. firstly i really extremely tired due to travel and brainstorming lesson in the morning.. and i am stuck in traffic jam.. When i reached there.. i was being questioning.. so late!!! why never reply my msg!! why bluff me tat u nt coming !! and etc.. hai~~~~~~~~~ after tat went to take food with my lao po and gd friend.. hehee.. in the end, we had a good time over there.. :) After that we were wishy-washy, dunno where to go.. birthday boy wanted to go chiong but after a few obstacles, he choose to go home.. hehee.. all of us head home that day...

on the 30 of July, a day for myself.. seriously.. extremely tired.. .

on the 31 of July to 4 of Aug.. i can said i almost worked OT everyday.. except 1 of Aug, i went to meet a friend for movie. We went to watch lake house.. of cos my friend is complaining that i had nt been meeting her for 3 mths.. sigh~~~ as for korkor.. he complained worst.. he said if i dun meet him on sunday.. he will cut of ties with me... guess.. hai~~~~~~ 4 of Aug.. i reached home ard 9 plus.. nanny called me.. asking me whether i still keen to watch the movie or not.. of cos i want.. i need to relieve stress.. we went to watch click.. after tat, we went to esplande there for a short chat.. : )

On the 5 of Aug, the first day of firework.. i missed it.. by watching half of it.. in the end, i was being stuck in the traffic jam...

on the 6 of Aug, went to cousin's house at bukit panjang.. never tot tat i will came back home that late.. in the end, i did not meet korkor.. guess he is extremely angry with me.. i did nt catch up with him in this one year ba.. hai~~~~

on the 7 of aug, i went back to work.. haha..i stress until i cried.. jialat...

on the 8 of aug, i went to bugis after work with my friends.. we went to have japanese food..

... to be contiuned...

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I had not been updating my blog ever since one month ago till now.. that is pretty fast, neither that this one month, i been online tat often as i normally does. MIA for one month?? hahaa.. let me list out wat i had done for the past one month....

on the 10 of July, i went back to work.. As usual, i went back to work. Nothing changes, still back to my original position but i am requested to handover all my stuffs. I did a very simple handover documents bcos i bet tat my colleagues will read that. hahaa.. As simple as possible.. :)

on the 11 of July, i left singapore for Genting trip. Before i leave for a trip, i had to make a payment on the 12, in order to go for the KL trip which is being organised by my company. I left sg as early as 7am, board the bus to leave sg. As usual, i did something which he do to me often. A sms saying goodbye... I took a 7 and half hours to reach Genting. The bus journey was very long, and due to cable car is under maintenance, we managed to go to the top by coach. It had been a very long time that i ever been to there, a lot of thing changes. Just like what pple normally said pple also changes when times passes. I went this trip with my mum and her friends, of cos lah, i am the youngest.. and nobody to talk to... nobody to accompanied me to theme park.. the only place i can go is CASINO.. i went in and out of casino as often as anyone does, and everytimes i went in.. they tend to check my particulars.. hai~~~~~

on the 12 of July, we actually planning to go down to KL for shopping spree but mum's friend said that was dangerous to go over there now due to a robbery happened on the day before. Fine!! i am stuck in casino again.. hai~~ During evening time, mum fell down in the toliet.. hai~~~ she hurt her back badly.. Guess is a challenge that how i can react when emergency occurs.. i brought her back to hotel room to rest for a while.. she was in deep pain..

on the 13 of July, we trying to fly back to HOME!! BUT the receptionist very relunctant to help us to call the airlines to check the price of the airtickets. Mum endure the pain for 7 and half hours again, we took the coach back to SG.. Seriously, she is very brave... We check out at 11 plus, while the coach leave at 3 plus. In between, we planned to see doctor but the stairs leading the clinic makes her feel more terrible. Therefore she insists she is ok for not seeing a doctor .. I called back to singapore to ask for day off to look after her for the next day.. We reached singapore ard 11pm plus. I called daddy to come down and bring her to see doctor bcos i am carrying the lugguage and the goodies which i brought back from m'sia. The doctor said she hurt her last two ribs and is bent in a bit, it will took her abt a mth to recover..

on the 14 of July, i took a day off. Start to do all the household chores.. washed clothes.. sweep the floor... mop the floor... cook dinner... there go my one day..

on the 15 of July, auntie knows tat mum fell down in genting. She came over to see how's she and teaches me how to cook porridge... hahaaa... my cousin came over for a while too...

on the 16 of July...in the morning, we went to potong pasir to bring mummy to see a very famous doctor.. He gave us a letter, in case she is still feel very pain, we need to send her to A&E... Actually i insist of going now but she don't want... hai~~~~~ doing household chores.. but this time round, we decided to go out to buy instead of i cook.. wahahaa.. :P

on the 17-21 of July.. back to work.. of course, i am being transfer to another team.. the stuffs that i am doing that time was pretty simple... Mummy is on the way of recovering...

on the 22 of July.. is time to leave singapore.. the nite before, i accidentally split the detergent water on the floor.. omg.. i took abt 2 hours to clean up the mess.. slept ard 2am plus, need to wake up at 6am in order to catch the bus at my company.. hai~~~ 4 hours of sleep again.. omg!!! haha.. my colleagues even more worst than me.. two of them suppose to meet at 6.45 at yishun mrt.. one girl haven even wake up at 6.45.. hehee.. :P of cos we are late.. but one couple is worst than us.. lol.. :P 22 of July is the first day of the MEGA SALE start!! wahaahaha... :P
We went to Putrojaya before we went to KL.. Putrojaya is very beatiful... When we checked in to the hotel, we feel a bit disappointed bcos of the environment there.. This is the first hotel in KL!!! omg.. it got more 30 years of history.. is very old although they did some upgrades beforehand..

.... to be contiuned... .