i had been running away from everything except my work.. i know my mind is not in a stable mood again.. thinking of you, it hurts me much more.. ytd, i asked my colleague a question.. will you still be friend with your ex? she said yes but will not meet him again.. or maybe i seeing too many pple having their dar/dear/lao gong love them so much.. makes me of envy them? or maybe i dun have my luck to find someone who dotes me tat often.. who will listen to my grumble.. or i dun cherish things ard me.. last nite, i hid in my room as tears roll down again.. my emotion rushed down as fast as they can.. today when i am online, he chat with me..

xxx said :
Hey Hey

xxx said :
how's life?

min said :
ok lah

min said :
how abt you?

**waited for 15 mins.. no reply..
** another 5 mins... no reply..

min said :

xx can you leave me? i really feel very painful. i think i am a failure. you leave me so long yet i still couldn't forget. xx u hurt me damn painful or maybe i should said i hurt myself too deep. i pursue something which there is no feelings for me in the first place and just fall foolishly..

the end of the chat...

min dun be silly can.. some stuffs tat are over is already over.. nothing can twist it back.. once a person had changed or had a firm mind, nothing can changes.. you used to be so good to me.. who will hear my grumbles everyday.. said i dunno how to cook.. slowly.. i learn some my mum.. said i spendrift.. buy a $3 water chestnut drink.. u ask me wat.. i will be very honest and reply you.. i really dunno when i had fall for you.. when u might just treat me like a sister.. just like korkor want to protect me bcos i am very weak.. and it will reflect tat u are stronger than me. why? why is it me? if things had turned tat sour right at the beginning, i will not choose to contiune tat kind of feelings.. or relationship.. my cousin asked me.. you and him got no problems at all.. why didn't u all had started.. maybe she is wrong.. u dun have feelings for me.. tat's why we didn't start.. guess i need more time to forget you totally.. otherwise no matter i had stepped into how many relationships.. i still can't forget.. i always tend to compare pple with you..

this is song tat is descibing my feelings...