hahaa.. guess i create this post is bcos of NANNY.... erm... although the day before had a quarrelled with nanny.. BUT he did a kind deed for me... by helping me to lie to my parents and helped me to call home.. and tell my parents, i am catching a movie which will end at 2am.. Thanks nanny... for tat... hai~~~~ maybe should have understand tat u miss your gf.. tat's why u throw your temper at me.. but i dun like to vent anger at me.. GUESS U SHOULD KNOW TAT RIGHT!!!!!!!!! hai~~~~~~~~ sometimes i think tat nanny is GOOD but there are times he is VERY EVIL!!! or maybe i dun know this person well.. or so called i dun understand anyone who is ard me including myself...

today went out in the night time to meet a friend... instead joining a gathering at a friend's house.. guess i rejected my this friend for quite sometime due to my hectic working schedule nowadays... therefore there is no excuces for me to reject it again... i joined her for dinner and only when i joined her.. she will call along her other friends too.. met 1 girl and 1 guy.. while the girl left after introducing ourselves.. hahaa.. the guy is a bit weird... omg... hope tat he dun see this... anyway i meeting them next week for movie but do u think i can make it?? HAHA.. i might nt be able.. lol.. :P depend whether my boss allows me to go home tat early.. hopefully tomorrow it won't spoilt my plans for shopping.. I need to get a dress for boss wedding.. :P

As usual a week had past.. time past so fast tat i couldn't remember wat had happened in the past... is that the truth?? hahaa.. last sunday had a long chat with senior till late morning ard 4 plus?? his words is still inside my mind which led me landed with not enuff sleep for the the first day of the week plus monday blues~~~

Senior : "You will nt forget the person when u kept talking abt him. I will know when u finally forgotten everything then it will be the time i tell u the truth. Even if u know the truth now, it will make you feel more worst."

As usual, i work till late nite... Boss told me "I want to do a review with you." Erm.. guess tat was not a gd idea as i dunno wat kind of nonesense i will said it out.. wahahaa.. But guess she saw us that busy, she had also forgotten she had a date with me to do my review. After work, i met naggy for movie. Guess it was pretty kind to wait for me for so long at central. Although he knocked off at 6.30, he had loitering ard till 9pm to meet me for movie. Plus maybe i force him to watch the movie ba.. When i am watching the movie, guess things been floating in my mind.. or maybe i nt sleep.. As usual... tears dropped.. guess naggy didn't know that i cried... i didn't take out any tissues... just let tears dry by its own.. I hope to be as strong as maria... After kelvin told me at After 8 was quite a good movie, been wanting to watch and FINALLY i managed to catch the show on Monday. Naggy actually suggesting to take cab home, but i choose not save money.. cos nowadays always OT and it led me to take cab home so often.. OT allowances bcome cab fare.. hai~~~~~

Tuesday.. had a long day... erm.. did i work OT tat day?? guess not.. i left office pretty early.. plus i am so tired.. but when i reached home, hehee.. feeel so awake... of cos i went online to play my pangya..

Wednesday.. my ex-friend been disturbing me nowadays to ask me to be his stead.. haha.. tat's funny... bcos i know him for too long le ba... plus we are nt suit for him.. Guess wat i will reply him ba... lol.. :P

Thursday... OT!!! Actually planned to hagen daz to have chocolate fundage.. haha.. guess i really need to vent everything out.. otherwise i will go crazy soon...

Friday.. went to Yishun for comsic bowling.. guess wat.. we left office ard 9... hahaa.. wat kind of bowling is this?? luckily managed to solve a bug before i left office.. but had to try it out on monday again.. hahaa... not to mention.. i share cab home with my boss... hai~~ of cos we had a chat in the cab... she said i am lucky to participate in this big .Net project. Seriously, she is quite true.. This is a very big .Net project. I can learned a lot of things from here.. she always pursed me to go for further studies.. don't just stop here... i must carry on.. and she hopes tat i can be more independent in work.. although my colleague is back frm taiwan but i still must take all the modules currently on hand.. and he will ignore me.. let me grow on my own unless i am in deep shit!!! hahaa.. when will all this end?? will i still contiune my contract or i will choose to further study?? hahaa... i went to apply SMU!!! After thinking tat my results wasn't tat good.. guess they will not accept me also.. boss asked me.. "Did u went to apply this time round?" Sorry.. didn't mean to tell lie... My reply was no... As my boss is graduate from NUS!! While NUS and SMU both are using different teaching method.. NUS is more on theory while SMU are more towards practical..Guess sooner or later, i will receive letter to reject me.. hai~~~~~ is ok... i dun mind le.. getting into this project, is one my achievements.. As i know this is one of the largest project in Asia, and i did benefits a lot although i did not had good basic.. Glad to know all my colleagues...

Had a quarrelled with naggy last nite on msn. He said i am very indecisive.. But i guess he is more worst than me. Being kind enuff, i asked him want to buy shaw tickets which is selling at 7.50 each and valid for a year. Guess wat his reply.. "dunno.. i had to wait for them to come back and decide.. " hai~~~ i am asking you not asking them. The tickets u can just buy and keep for one year, if u like it or just reject the offer. Guess this teaches me a lesson nanny is no longer the person i know!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DUN DISTURB PPLE WHEN HIS GF IS AWAY!!!!!!!! ONE WORD FOR NANNY "!@#$%^&*()*(^%$#@$%^%#@$%^&#$%!@#$%$%". Didn't ask anyone for tat offer also.. i tot since he is always so nice to me.. so maybe can help him to save a bit of money when he go on dates.. but ended up "@#$#$@#$@#$@#$#$#$#$#$$%$#%@#@#$@"... so FED UP!!!!!!

Guess tuesday, i go back office and try my luck to buy some tickets for myself.. YY if u all want, leave me a msg on tagboard ba.. i try to check whether is there any tickets left.. actually wanted to go back to office to work today but cannot wake up... hehee.. :P

SHAW tickets..
Price : $7.50
Valid till : 1 year from the day
Day : Any day of the week

erm...i am just doing a kind deed... so in case u all dun want to buy.. PLS DO NOT @#$%^@#$@#$%^. I Will nt accept any apologies or any idiotic trying to vent anger on me. DUN THINK U ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS IN THE BAD MOOD!!! I ALSO IN BAD MOOD LEH!!!!!!!!!

hai~~~~~ dun udnerstand why i like to sigh so much nowadays... but something i can find it out from my own behaviour.. is that i CHANGED!!!! i had bcome more and more out of mind..

Monday, Tuesday... been working OT as usual my colleague accompany me.. hahaa.. now my boss thinks tat when i am going..she will be going also.. or she will be going ... i will be going also.. didn't get to be so close with her last time.. when she joined my team than we know each other better..

Wednesday... guess she is getting more and more accept that when i did not have enuff sleep, i will bcome very high... erm.. tat's wat she been telling me.. and controlling me.. wahahaaa... :P Imagine that day.. three of us decided not to work OT and go off earlier.. one of my colleagues came down to find us to go out for dinner.. guess we had create a mess out of the room, tilll my boss said "Girls, tamn down a bit... is a bit noisy here.. " lol.. :P there we go... CRAZY~~~~~ we decided to go for crab... One of them suggest Dragon Gate at Habourfront. On the way to decide where to head for dinner, my the other colleagues said "There dun have crab.. ". It did change our thinking, wat if there is no crab? In the end, we still choose to go there... When we reached there.... we stand at the entrance pondering very long.. are we sure we want to go in? are we sure we have enuff money to walk out of the restuarant? are we going to wash dishes there? hahaa.. all the above are rubbish.. we stepped in and ordered 17 dishes in abt 1 and half hour time.. hahaa.. guess we are big eaters.. or bcos we are too stress or i am hiding my sadness?? hahaaa... after that.. i be very frank.. i tell them that i went to mos last thursday.. erm.. one of them had the kick of going to mos since is ladies nite.. hai~~~ we really create a fool over at the restuarant and in the train.. seriously tat day was fun... we headed to clarke quay after the meal.. though tomorrow need to work.. we still got the energetic to walk ard clarke quay to choose a pub.. and drink.. in the end, we headed to crazy elephants.. i order vodka martini.. my two colleagues ordered... sex on the beach and fruit punch.. erm.. mine was a bit too strong. .dare not to do wat i had done in mos.. just to drank finish without thinking.. otherwise.. i guess i will landed in a drunk state as i had never tried this before.. ard 12 plus we took cab home...

thursday.. jialat.. all of them know we had a redevenous dinner last nite.. haaha.. and we went pub.. all of them said we never jio.. hahaaa... seriously tat day didn't work really tat hard.. as mind was not really in a clear state.. bleah... was waiting to go for lunch.. during 11 plus.. went to take a packet of nuts frm kim.. tat day... i need to go to sizzler again due to boss set there as farewell lunch for two of my colleagus.. hai~~~ haven finish digest wednesday dinner... going to head for buffet again.. jia lat.. guess wat... i met kim there.. wahahaaa.... tried the spicy chicken.. it was gd... tat day was damn sleepy sia... not to mention.. we worked OT that nite again.. after work... we planning to go ms to eat cake... hahaaa.. :P in advance to celebrate my colleague's 21th birthday.. in the end, we left office ard 9.30.. guess it is too late le.. we head to city hall, bakerzinn... ordered 3 different desert and share.. jia lat... we really eat too much le...

friday... finally get my two sirs close after my boss urged me to call the users as often as possible to close it asap... seriously mentally and physically are collasping le... lol.. :P i met yy and shifu for dinner.. as usual i am late... hai~~ bcos of my user had a meeting at 5.. and it last till 6.20.. futhermore, i had to went up to her and pursuade her to close off the sir.. otherwise my boss will be come and msg early in the morning .... erm.. to prevent all this happened... i choose to be more persistance to ask her to close off.. wahaha.. shifu they all waited for me quite long.. actually i tot go marina square and have dinner.. next expect tat.. we ended up at harbourfront again... once again, i had the same kind of dinner again.. while this time round is different.. we had ... 25 dishes.. for the same price... omg... really too full le.... next we walked to sentosa... hahaa.. never pay entrance fees also.. and board a bus to silso beach... trying to walk t palawana beach but realise it was too dark... choose another alternative is to walk to silso beach.. while.. nothing much over there.. and it was quite late.. we toook bus back to terminal and board bus back to mainland... run all the way to catch the last train to head for a tea session at bedok.. hahaaa.. guess bcos of me.. both of them stayed to quite late.. erm.. guess a lot of them are surprised tat dramatic changes i had during these period... or maybe i scare them off.. just like my gd friend been asking me out for dinner.. but he can't make it on tat day.. .

guess i had close down my blog since he passed away... erm.. how long had i took for this time round? seriously i got no idea how long had i took.. time passes everyday while i thought i had a very long period of resting.. erm.. next tot tat the resting period was so short.. last few weeks been numbing myself in work... not to mention the coming days, i will get more and more busy until it had bcome more stable.. took a four days long leave and slightly more a bit, landed myself with tons and tons of work to finish work.. seriously, went i went back to work.. i almost been working ot everyday only till abt one thursday evening, i went orchard with kim.. Try the mango that she recommend me, it was pretty not bad.. plus i bought a lot of breads tat day.. on the way home, kim got a call from carina.. we had a date to watch running wild on friday nite.. although boss dun want to give me a tough period after seeing how down am i for the past few days, i trying my best.. to finish up stuffs on hand... erm.. but time just doesn't stop for me nor them.. management gave us a very short dateline to finish stuffs on hand.. guess i am old enuff, dun let them to have a hard time and delay everyone work.. work damn hard on friday, till i almost miss the movie.. i miss abt 10 mins of the show.. after the movie, we took cab home.. roughly reached home ard 2 plus... sob sob...

actually the next day wanted to go guang ming shan to do tomb sweeping.. but i need to go back to office to finish my stuffs. coincidently, my auntie need to go back to work also... wondering is it bcos my grandpa wants me to go? that's why my aunt need to work on that day... hai~~~ boss gave me a very 'early' morning asking for my status update.. asking whether am i ok or not?? how come i never email him update at all?? hai~~~ maybe he scare i will collaspe again or cried again or breakdown again.. bcos it was very scarely when i cried and work at the same time.. maybe last friday i shouldn't had gone back to work.. of cos tat day, i stayed in office until 5 plus.. really going to bcome panda le..

sunday, i went to guang ming shan with mummy.. daddy can't go due to he just lost his father.. reached there ard 2 plus.. due to he come back late to fetch us.. hai~~~ when i reached there, sad to said i saw ............... going for ceremate... hai~~~ of cos my mind been floating with other stuffs... maybe we and my grandpa ties are thicker, if i didn't remember wrongly.. i never saw anyone breakdown nor tears rolling down.. as recalled on that day, most of my cousins cried like mad... but my eldest cousin, he is the strongest... he looked after all of us and asked us dun cried le.. i admire him.. he never dropped any tears at all though he is close with him.. but definitely he feel very painful deep inside his heart.. bcos my grandpa brought him up.. he always brought us to swimming or go play.. or go pasir ris... hai~~~~ that day, my uncle brought up the story of my maternal grandpa.. of cos, i get to know more abt him..

Monday to Thursday, i had been working OT practically everyday and took cab home.. Erm.. got a colleague nt bad... she accompany me everyday..though she dun need to stay.. quite touch lah.. we went to have dinner at sizzler which is at toa payoh.. hehee.. had a full dinner due to we got coporate discounts.. wahahahaa.. :P erm... the day before bulldog msg me asking me to go ms to eat cake.. i was wondering is he crazy? hahaa.. tat day my phone was bombed by him.. and of cos just like my primary friend said as usual i am late.. when i reached there, i still couldn't believe tat i am going ms to have cake.. when i wanted to go back home, i called ed.. he pass the phone to bulldog.. he said.. organise this outing is for u leh.. diao... no choice.. i dropped off at newton just to take cab down to ms... hai~~~ no cab.. then take bus to orchard to take cab .. again no cab!!!! yy actually went home le.. but bcos of me.. she went down again`~~~ hai~~~ then i met her at clarke quay mrt station.. followed by taking cab down to meet them.. we feel so weird... i had been laughing throughout the whole journey.. i still couldn't believe that we are going there.... i drank quite a lot tat day... guess all of them know how i feel le.. cos tat day i spilled out everything.. before i went there.. shifu already called me and check on me.. see whether how am i le.. i called my gd friend to come and join us but too bad he already reached home le.. that nite.. after yy and bulldog left.. me, ed and one of my primary schoolmates... were standing there waiting for cab.. the most comical thing is that we are waiting for citycab bcos it is cheaper.. and in the end we miss 4 city cab.. hahaa.. rofl... we had our supper at joo chiat roti prata shop which nanny brought me there before.. ard 2 plus.. we walked home.. hai~~ when i am there.. my heels already spoiled le.. so i hurt my leg on the way home.. guess i fell asleep ard 4 plus... damn... i had to work on the next day though is public holiday.. erm.. gain something.. get to know my primary schoolmate better.. though we seldom talk when we come out... wahaahahaa.. not a bad guy.. quite a nice guy.. too bad.. let him see the down side of me.. aiya.. forget something.. bulldog had tell the whole world i am badly down.. hai~~~~~

good friday, i went back to work.. a bit bad tempered.. erm.. guess not a bit.. is very bad-tempered.. suppose to go back at 10.. i reached there ard 11plus.. hai~~ of cos my colleague accompanied me till 8 plus.. very sweet hor?? but when i tot of ytd how kevin bluff us.. i really want to laugh.. guess next time round.. nobody will dare to go ms to eat cake with him... he still dare to ask me to go there again.. when i am totally collaspe in physically.. after tat thursday long nite..

sat.. had a long rest.. suppose to meet my cousin.. but i am too tired to go out.. guess she was a quite angry with me.. but i dunno how to reject her.. as i had told myself.. no matter wat.. i tried to say yes to them.. hai~~~ in the morning, my gay friend msg me out for dinner.. lol... hai~~ nobody was free to go.. in the end, we cancelled le.. he said if got anything hor, just give him a call.. sweet hor?? even though he gt gf le, when he dun need to work on sat.. he will try to keep us accompany... or ask us out for dinner.. when we asked him out for dinner.. he will always said yes... but we felt guilty as he is working nite shift... hai~~~~

sun... met two friends for dinner.. of cos i won't miss the chance to eat sashimi.. so long never eat le... had a quite long chat with them ba... hai~~~~ sometimes i think tat even a xiao didi is much more stronger than i do... xiao didi thinks i need to go mph more often.. bcos last week he saw me was when i am very bad shape and almost cried in front of them.. then this week he saw me was like ok le.. but on the way home.. he tell me.. life is tat cruel.. just let go of everything..

at nite when i reached home, i went into friendster.. saw korkor pic.. suddenly miss him so much tat my tears dropped down le.. korkor changed le.. as usual.. he is still tat yandao... but now he is having more and more bfs... if last time i listened to him, will i still ended in such a situations? or i will find myself a better way...

in this funeral, i get myself to bcome closer with my cousins again.. today they msg me... asked me whether i want to join them for hongkong tour or not.. hai~~~~

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

i msg shifu that day when i never turned out for dinner.. shifu told me.. if u never tell other pple how u feel, how would they know.. shifu.. i trying my best le.. but i failed le.. i dunno how long can i stand.. in front of everyone, i trying my very best for the past few years not to shed a single tears no matter of wat is happening.. guess now i gradually start to collapsing.. i avoid all calls and msg.. i need a break.. pple expects a listening ear when they need..wat abt me.. who can lend me a listening ear.. nowadays i felt more and more painful.. guess i really need a break away from everyone...dun blame me.. i need time to recover.. i won't be there to listen to any love story.. or giving any advices le.. bcos now she is lost..