today mummy help me apply medicine on my injuries... i thought of louis... lolo.. i also dunno why.. maybe he is a sweet bf ba.. kekeke.. last time whn i am with him together.. i dunno how to cherish... lolo.. :P but now he should be leading a much more happier life than me... there is once i went out with him... my hand is full with blue black.. he scold me.. and bring me to watson.. he bought a lot of medicine for me.. no matter is for wat kind of injuries... haha.. he is really dann sweet lor... really miss that period of time we had.... but tat is before i enter poly...

when i entered poly, we broke up... maybe bcos of my childish character or partly abt friends... i met another nice guy too... although he did not actually accompany thru my poly life but at least he willingly to listen to woes... is this considered not bad?? at least he let me dependent on.. haha.. not long ago.. he left... after entering my life for 2 years plus ba...

a few months back, i met another guy... which i also dunno how i feel abt him.. only purely friendship or i like him or i just finding someone to dependent on... i rather had a distance between both of us... than hurting myself again.. i dun even know wat i want now... so i dun dare to ask for too much.. maybe keep as wat we are now will be better... i dun understand wat is love or relationship.. whenever someone is too good to me.. i might have a bit of feelings towards that person but after sometime.. that kind of feelings will disappear.. except towards korkor.. haha... maybe my priorty now is not to differentiate wat is love and wat is like or wat is relationship.. it should STUDYING HARD for tomorrow paper... and not thinking of anything else...

erm.. i had finish one of my paper... 2 more papers to go.. i also temporary leave my job at cartel... soon going back to GC.. haha.. couldn't believe it.. i will be going back there again.. i hope 10 days of working life at there won't be a sad moment.. bcos it might be the last time i will be working there.. after finish my work at GC on the 15.. on the 16 i am going for my attachment.. erm.. i am a bit worry bcos i also dunno where i will be going.. somemore a bit weird.. need to go for interview.. luckily now i still haven received any call from the company but i received from the school liao.. they ask me to be prepare.. diao... i also dunno.. hai~~ this week something unpleasant happened.. i also duno wat to do.. i keep quiet.. wait till she wan to talk abt it.. then we shall see how.. hopefully there is a chance for her... alamak.. i am making myself crazy by working every moment after my exams... today my collegue very sweet.. she sing birthday song to me.. hehe.. erm.. i still prefer to be in siglap.. bcos at least i will be happier.. hai~~~ not really happy at my current work place lor... today kana scolding bcos of nothing.. i am very sure is not i serve lor.. i been working at there for so long liao.. how can i make such a big mistake.. i keep quiet... although i duno at the girl well.. also dun want to says out... hai~~ this is the second time liao.. next time dun want to be so good liao.. says out who did that arh.. dann.. always me kana... i dun have multiple hands sia.. lolo.. :P but anyway i did had my happy moments there too.. is just that siglap is nearer to my house plus much more easier to communicate... n the manager is better.. lolo.. :P forget it.. i haven study for global.. hai~~~ global is killing me.. hai~~ go sleep liao..

hai~~~ almost every post start with erm.. so fast.. it has been a week liao.. i have not been posting any msg every since that nite.... i rushing for my project.. i.... my feeling like a mixture... a moment.. i can feel so happy... in another moment i am down.. i am glad that he did not says i am a pest toward him.. but i also know even though the friendship did not end.. it will still not be the same as past..erm.. bcos of i too ren xing.. i almost lost a gd friend... most of the time bcos of my ren xing.. i lost a lot things which i couldn't find back... hai~~ dun talk abt it liao..

yesterday, i went to work.. suppose to be runner.. but in the end my manager walked towards me.. and ask me to change duties with my friend.. she says dunno how to be host.. i very stunned sia.. cos my friend used to be praise that very good at doing host.. i walked towards and change with her.. but never says anything abt wat my manager says... i keep quiet.. do my job lor... i been walking in and out... my supervisor asked me to stand there arh.. dun walk here and do arh.. i diam diam.. but no choice.. somethings need to do by myself.. cos everyone also very busy.. i paiseh to ask them to help me... my boss came over and talked to me.. he says "Today is much more better than yesterday, it is much more systematically." wow.. i stunned sia.. bcos the queue was dann long.. and i had to handle on my own.. i really diao.... some customer says thank you to me sia.. haha.. this is the first time.. i also quite happy with my performance... and my boss ask me a few question:
1) you started work from wat time?
2) are you feeling tired?
3) the last comment he gave me is "you did a good job... "

wow.. i really dann stunned... he so good.. erm.. even though i dun have the $50 bucks.. i also dun mind.. cos my boss dann caring lor.. my 2 mangers arh.. also not bad... when irene dun scold pple...she is quite kind sia.. today i was so afraid sia.. cos i am late for 6 mins.. when i reached there.. not enough pple.. hai~~ i bcome temporary cashier.. then plus runner... wow... as usual.. such a clumsly pple like me.. dunno wat is called tidy.. my manager helped me to make collar neater... wow.. i was so touch sia.. both my manager did tat do me.. hehee... erm.. so anyway got money or dun have the money also no longer important to me.. as long as they treat me not bad.. bcos i am not so greedy lor.. as long as i did my job can liao.. dun ask for too much.. btw.. i saw gary on sat.. he came to my workplace with his girl girl..

finish talking abt my job... now is abt my personal life... erm.. i want like to thank someone for coming down to fetch me on sat nite.. erm.. i also dunno wat i want.. just feeling very tired.. hoping to make myself to be more independent.. plus stronger.. dun rely on pple so much.. n have a clearer mind of wat i wants.. instead of doing it bcos of "ren xing"..

nowadays super shag... almost everyday sleep less than 2-3 hours of sleep.. now i finally know wat is the toughest period in poly.. erm.. i am so shag in first and second year.. now last year liao.. suddenly feel the stress.. so many projects n tons of works to do..

Projects on Hand now..
1) C# (this coming thursday) - only 20% completed
2) Global supply chain report - 0% completed
3) Citect Report - 0% completed
4) Techno Report - 0 % completed
5) APO Common Test on this coming friday - haven touch at all
6) APO Lab test (next tuesday) - haven touch at all

** all the above means that almost everyday i had to burn midnight oil.. plus this friday i got work also.. hai~~~

nowadays my temper won't be that good.. so pls dun come and try to provoke me.. cause when i get not enough sleep.. i will be very irritated so easily.. that i can't even control myself... erm.. i says sorry first.. if i provoke u..

10th July 04

在幾年前﹐有一位女生在網絡上認識了那一位男生。兩人能在茫茫人海中認識可說是一種緣份。從網絡的交談朋友到至今的好朋友﹐並非是一朝一夕就可以發生的。 兩人之間也一起陪伴着彼此度過許多難可能關。可能是男生對女生那種大哥哥的關懷讓女生永遠都會記上載心。因為女生從來都沒有遇過那麼好一位好的男生﹐無論是在學業‘金錢或精神上﹐男生總是默默地幫助女生。在女生最難過與傷心是﹐他總會聽者她的訴苦與安慰她。她對他真的有那麼心動了﹐可是他們只有純正的友情﹐只要動了真情﹐兩人的有遊友誼就會畫上句號。。。。 那一天女生在一時衝動發了一哲簡訊給男生。。 男生打了電話給她，你是不是大姨媽來阿.. 女生一聲不吭就把電話給掛上了.. 從那天起,兩人的友誼就畫上了一個句號... 時間慢慢的過去了,女生這一時才發現她不能失去他.. 因為他早已成為她心目中的一位非常要好的好朋友.. 一個可以給她依賴與鼓勵的好同堂... 很可惜,她再一時衝動之下毀了所有的一切... 當她開始後悔時,可能已經太過遲了,想再回頭都很難了.....

Hahaha.. i wrote this on 10th of July 04.. When i read it, my tears fall when i am in office..

..... just now talk to korkor... told him abt how my life now.... he ask me to forget everything and move on with wat i had now.. i am quite xinfu liao.. got someone who teng me so much.. why should i keep looking backwards and thinking of everything again.. yesterday saw jiefu msg.... jiefu broke up with jiejie... erm... although i didn't saw wat happened... i know roughly wat happened.... i sms him.. and told him abt the ending... he reply me.. something which i saw... i also dunno how to reply.. i consider that reply as very cold... i got "min" this nickname also bcos of him... aft he started calling min... most pple stop calling my name... they called me min... now as a fresh start.. maybe i should change away my min... wat korkor says... it did hurts a bit.. but as tears keep flowing down... slowly... i guess i won't feel any pain... anyway i landed in a relationship which i also dunno whether is a right thing or a wrong thing...... will i be happy or the ending is going to be like jiejie and jiefu..

3 years ago... i tot tat both were so xinfu.. n maybe will last long... now... everything is gone... and one of them got hurt till so deep... when u really love tat person whole heartedly... in the end... u realise that she/he dun love u at all, just use u as a spare typre.. how would u feel... saw a lot of my friends... been thru relationships but always end with a sad ending... but there is a girl who i admire so much.. Candy... (wahaha.. couldn't believe right) i knew candy thru Louis.. there is a time where three of us wanted to go out together but such a pity.. candy couldn't make it.. i knew her for so long.. before i enter poly till now... she been thru ups and downs in her relationship.. she cried so much but she will never let her bf nor anyone knows how she feel... she kept all her feelings inside her heart... i really admire her a lot... now she found her happiness... i feel so happy for her...

Candy, wo zu fu ni... wo xi huan ni yong yuan duo hui na mei xin fu...

wahahaa.. never tot that i will write out a story abt me sia.. lololo.. :P

i am a very simple girl who really has a simple mind but has a very bad tempered and emotional.. u will never know whether the next second i will be happy, sad or angry.. sometimes i can take joke while there are times i can't take any sarcastic remarks... i can counted myself as very lucky liao.. no illness.. u will never know how much people suffer from illness.. today i watched "ai you ming tian" ... there is a little girl who is only 13 years old.. yet she had contracted cancer... it remind me of my dearest cousin... he been away for almost two months... yet till now.. i still couldn't forget wat had happened... just now when we saw that 13 year old xiao mei mei, mum almost going to cry out, i faster switch to another channel.. sometimes i feel dann hurt in my heart.. but sometimes it is okie for me.... i also dunno.. still very blur sia.. i really scare i will says out the wrong thing... as i am a person who is not at communicating with others.. nor good at words.. erm... not every cancer patient is that lucky... u may had the determination to fight with the illness.. in the end.. u may lose the war... sometimes maybe losing the war will be much more better... at least u won't be feeling so painful...

i considered as very xinfu liao.. always got friends around to help me... there is always people entered my life and left me.. erm.. everytime i will end a page with a tear and start a page with happiness.. haha.. my book is full with happiness and sadness.. but at least i had learn something is to cherish pple around me... bcos it hurts when u lose someone who is close to you..