Guess i had to explain why i decided to close down the blog....... why i decided to bring it back.. tat nite when i decided brought this blog bcos of my gd friend... she suddenly msg me... asking me.. are u alright? remembered tat i am always for you.. thanks for your word.. really touches my heart deep inside..

As for why i want decided to close this blog... Seriously, min nowadays getting more and more weak.. getting herself numb in work... most of time she been working till quite late or maybe she really have ton of things waiting for her.. or maybe her tears is dropping more than she thoughts.. Too many things pondering in her head..

When she took up this job, she was wondering she might be able to accomplish someone's else dream. But she never knew it is so tought.. My boss was asking me... "If next week, i throw u with more work. Will you quit?" The answer i had in my heart was no.. But i duno how my determination will sticks with me. Very hard to said, i might nt be able to take it. Am i really tat good to deal with programming? Why i am in programming this line? I think my programming sucks..

As for family, i am always being shower love by my parents and my beloved aunts and uncles (mother's side). I am not close with my father's side after my primary school days.... Maybe i am a bit very selfish to celebrate my 21th birthday when my grandpa was still in hospital and i never invite my relatives at all. After so many mths, heart hurts more and more often especially at chinese new year's eve. Maybe i shouldn't be tat kpo to ask abt my grandpa's condition. Now he is just taking injections once every two weeks to fight with cancer. To be very frank, he is at the last stage of cancer. If i didn't remember wrongly, i knew it after i came back from my chalet... He only left with 6 mths when he discharge.. and now he roughly left with 2-3 mths... been really down tat day on cny's eve... been trying very hard to bring back myself after cny's eve...

As for relationship, i been a totally failure... i did try very hard to forget abt him and gradually i had lost contact with him. Guess we had nt been really contact for almost a year. I will always remember those very sweet memories. Whenever i received a msg from him, it will always be the time he going to board the plane and left sg. Still remembered wat u told me before... when u graduate, u hope to go overseas to work.. Good luck..

As for friends aka my buddies, thanks... there is nothing much, i want to said.. thanks for always being there for me.. but dun blame me tat why i dun want to share.. maybe being too long with u all.. i really dunno how to said it out... tat day when we having lunch at MS... my mood is nt very gd.. u all did cheer me up.. thanks.....

Feel really tired to struggle in this kind of life.. but i believe i will turn the situation back..