this is the first time i going to write a conclusion for wat i done for this year.. let me see i had fall down hw many times before the arrival of a new year...

Happiest moments:
i don't know whether i got happy moments.. at least i still a few friends celebrate with me on my birthday eve.. thanks.. really sweet of them.. even though tat time is exams period for most of us... second should be attend er-jie's wedding.. finally know tat all of us had grown up.. third.. should be going to get my bursary soon..

Saddiest moments
thanks to my 3 closest friend in poly.. there was a period.. i really down.. and helpless.. they were the ones who cheer me up.. thanks pals.. tat time.. a silly girl went to airport almost everyday.. looking at the planes.. tears rolls down.. cannot imagine things happen so fast.. she sat down at the cafe wanted to study.. but she jus couldn't make it.. send a sms out.. she told herself.. she will not regret for wat she had done.. but in the end.. she still regret.. jus trying to act strong.. that was how i lose a very close guy friend...

maybe i not good at words nor handling friendship ba.. i lose another close guy friend also... during december, he was being admitted to hospital due to accident.. i went to the hospital to visit him.. while he was changing bed to go for operation.. i left... his relatives and friends were there.. the next day morning.. he called me.. saying he was very unhappy ... and dun want to see me anymore.. a sentence i can says is... i cry again.... i really plucked my courage to go hospital to see you...... do u know how long had i been wandering outside the ward before i dare to go in.. i am not tat strong like wat u tot.. bcos of wat your friends's says... u tell me those.. u know wat i tot of tat day..it reminds me of him.... but it also my fault.. shouldn't jus walk away, i should have stand beside u.. why am i so silly...

wow.. another guy again... but tat was someone special... be frank.. if can i rather dun want to keep a secret... so torturing... this secret had to be kept till the day my granny passaway... it was a big impact for everyone of us... at first.. i really can't accept it.. almost every nite, tears rolling down my cheeks.. last year was the last time i saw u.. u offered me cookie and cream ice-cream.. i like it a lot.. from that moment onwards... i always wanted to eat cookies and cream ice-cream but it taste so different.. tat day went to the airport... feeling was different.. everyone of us.. still couldn't wat had happened.. i bcome more dong shi... but this was an act.. u know how i study for exams.. how to force myself to stay awake thru whole nite.. the method is: "I promise korkor.. i will study hard.. and not let him disappointed" whenever i wanted to give up.. this is the sentence i tell myself.. yeah~i got good results.. so wat.. he had already left me... so this year.. i jus had a simple birthday...

although me and the first guy are still friends but not tat close anymore.. he says i am very emotional.. i admit tat ba.. i cry whenever tears roll down my cheeks... hereby..i wish to thanks a few persons... 3 ba po(erm.. should know who are u all liao..).. hehe.. :P jiefu & jiejie... yy... tian tian... thank you for the comfort during that period when i am down... really surprise abt tat.. always ask me dun think so much..

hopefully this coming year.. i will have more peace... and happiness....

on sunday, tidal waves hit number of countries... like thailand(phucket), sri lanka , india, sumantra, malaysia(Penang) n others.. now tons of pple are raising money for them.. a lot of pple pass away... this remind me of someone who i buried deep down in my heart... maybe when someone stepped out of your lives... u will hardly forget them ba.. or maybe is just tat i am very stubborn.. and dun want to let go.. i really trying my best.. my best to forget everything.. my best to start all over again.. but it seems to be so hard.. in april.. i will be going to graduate if my FYP went on smoothly.. hope to try my luck and apply for university.. if can.. i hope to get in... if can't .. then look for jobs first ba..

silly girl..today receive a christmas card.. really very surprise that he will send me a christmas card.. this few years... this friend had always be there for me.. but he like to suan me.. hehe... treat me nt bad.. still can remember years ago.. he send me a valentine day card... bcos he knows i dun have present mah.. so send me a card to cheer me up.. hehe.. quite sweet of him.. friend.. of cos treat u as gd friend....

maybe tomorrow will do a conclusion of wat i had done this year... i guess i lose more than i gain.. lose so many things that hurt me.... let me burried my hatchet deep inside my heart... bcos u will always be living inside me.. thank you for your support.. if without u... maybe silly gal also won't be here now. on my way of life.. u really help us a lot.. xie xie ni... let me cry one more day for you ba...

sian.. today dann fed up.. hai~~no mood.. hehe.. but come back liao.. complaint to so many pple..feel so much better.. lolo.. :P this weekend.. i going to be super bored... hai~~~~ but nvm.. i can sleep a lot.. lolo.. :P sian... now trying to jio pple to go drink.. haha.. if like jiefu saw this post.. he sure want to vomit blood liao.. lolo.. :P LEO arh... when u free to accompany me go drink.. i super sian arh...

tian tian arh.. erm.. dun always go parkway lah.. later i saw u again.. hehe..then your face red red.. hahaa.. :P

hohoho.. .M3rry chrstmas... so fast.. another one week gone.. ths w33k is qut3 buzy f0r m3.. bc0s n33d to g3t s0m3 cl0thing before att3ndng my c0usn w3dding.. hehe.. erm.. this wh0l3 w33k been d0ng qut3 a lot of things.. had my chrstmas at w3st c0ast park.. aft3r tat.. drank a cup of r3d wne at 3 plus.. end up.. very tred and a bt drunk.. lolo.. th3 n3xt day, my beauty sl33p got interrupted hp ringing... sian arh.. got up early and went over to my cousin's house.. after tat reaches home ard 2 plus... actually wanted to sl33p th3n at nte can go out.. but ended up.. took a nap at 4 plus... 7 plus... hp rings agan.. got to wake up and went out to m33t my cousn..actually suppose to m33t k3vin th3y all to help him celebrate his birthday but.. cousin ask me out.. cannot says no mah.. so went out with cousin instead of them.. sorry arh.. tat day went to orchard for shopping... hehe.. bought a shawl... a jacket... gym pants... and a t-shirt from fox.. diao.. spent 60 bucks.. tat day still went to eat creepes... diao.. spent abt 80 bucks.. really broke sia.. left orchard ard 12... when i reached pp, i went to m33t s0m3on3 els3.. wanted to go to changi beach.. on the way.. we got lose.. turning round n round.. but we still manage to reach there.. quite enjoy myself over th3r3,... thanks f0r hs und3rstanding wor...
Actually on sunday, i suppose to go tree top walk but was dann shag... bcos the day before i slept at 4plus.. although i can wake up.. but i really very tired... maybe bcos due to... didn't sleep well for the past 2 days ba.... so at nite went ou with mum to buy clothes.. again.. spent money.. hai~~~ Today went out with friends.. luckily never buy anything.. haha..

alamak.. forget s0m3thing.. on the 23 of dec3mb3r... i saw a blur blur guy at giant.. hehe.. he is so cut3 arh...l00kng h3r3 n th3r3... gu3ss wh0 s tat... the p3rs0n is my tian tian... haha.. :P but i never go over and says hi to him...

yohoo... 4 more days to christmas... this will also be the first time tat me n my ........... will be exchanging present.. lolo... surprising right... stunned right... never told anyone of this infor... only told my cousins... but we will not be meeting each other on that day.... he will joining his friends while me leh... maybe stay at home or wait until my friends decided where they want to go or maybe they got other programs..he asked me to join them... but i insist of dun want... although i saw his friends before.... u know hor.. sotong do makes mistake often... i mistaken a guy as a girl... die arh.... anyway i not going... die die also canot force me to go attend anything function with me.......

last week... leg started to get pain.... after sat going with them... it seems like getting worst... imagine.... from PS to esplande to boat quay then to clarke quay... but i did enjoy the day.. we went to secret receipe... i know i had laughing all the way... my friend why i keep laughing.. till 9 plus... i become more and more quiet.... waiting for a phonecall but it never comes at all...... so disappointed.. but forget it... he quite dotes me wor.. shouldn't think for too much... no more nonesense from me.. jiefu told me dun make things complicated arh.... lolo... xiang tong le.. ......... should be the one i care not other pple... i will learn how to cherish you... u must do that to be wor... arbo break hor.... hehee... :P

jus now in the afternoon went in to malaysia for a short trip.. didn't really buy much.... jus to give myself a break before tomorrow... hai~~~ need to work again.. next week got to shop for clothes for wedding dinner liao... planning to take off on tat day... but still considering... my ex-boss today call me up.. asked me to go back to work... erm.. still considering whether i want to have some time for myself or work.. today saw christian dior perfume.. .erm.. i think not bad leh... maybe tat will be my next target instead of hp ba... we shall see how........

last saturday been to airport to fetch my aunt n my cousin... my friend tot i went to fetch my guy friend.. haha.. i also lazy to further explain.. these few days always been thinking wanted to go and visit kokor.. but thinking back tat is still angry.. make me step back... always tot that he is the one who understand me the most.. but maybe now no longer... from the moment i stepped out of his ward... he sms me the next day... telling me... u had lose me already... maybe i really very stupid ba.. changing bed before going to operation room can stand there to wait mah.. but there got so many pple liao... furthermore nobody i know.. plus... i am so afarid of hospital... i can plucked out my courage and go up alone and search for the ward and bed already not bad... the fear of hospital is really cannot be describe... i really very scare... if i am not scare.. i won't die die also dun want to go see doctor tat day... my back was so painful.... tian tian so scare.. haha.. cos i keep crying non-stop.... the moment i decided to go see doctor is when i called up yiying.. she told me... nth wrong... jus sprain of back... dun need to stay or send to hospital.. then just got relieve and go see doctor... kor... wanted to explain to u.. but u dun want to listen.. i also diam diam liao.. i really fear of hospital... if can... i won't want to step into it... if someone accompany me.. i really dun mind.. u asked me stayed there for how long... i also won't says a no... just like last time... siok entered hospital... xiaowei.. .accompany me go there and we spent almost one whole day there... but u asked me go alone... i will not stayed for long.. cos i scare.. u can scold me timid or watever u want... but the truth is i really cannot stand to go hospital alone... not tat u not impt to me or i dun care for u.. is really.. u cannot ask me go alone... u been taking care of me... i do care for u all but jus duno how to express out mah...

back to airport ba.. before aunt come out... my uncle thinking abt my cousin... the moment is sad... nobody will expect this to happen.... everyone is still sad but nobody want to express it out.. in less than a year so many things happened... there is pple getting marry... there is pple die... this is unavoidable.. no fear.. i promise myself... i will be strong enuff to take care of everyone... from a immature kid need to grow up suddenly to be very mature.. is very hard.. .but i will try my best..

today went down to NUH to see wat happened to my korkor... never knew that this kind of thing will happen.. to me he is always strong and healthy guy... erm... korkor treats me not bad... sometimes always gave me surprises... knew him for 8 years liao ba..... last time always go to broadbrick to have my technical lesson... slowly... get to know him thru friends... he also knows my friends... there are times he come to school and find me... i will be the one trying to hide or runaway... haha.... last year korkor very sweet wor... bought me a cake and a bag.......... n delivery to me......... at nite, he asked me to go down and celebrate my birthday with me... hehe.. :P this few years no matter i been thru wat... he is the one who will always keep me accompany and guide me thru out the problems.... really very hard to believe that he entered hospital.. i tot he must be kidding with me....when i was on my way walking to the wards.. i feel like i am dragging myself... why arh... bcos i scare to go hospital... luckily is dad sent me over... and wait for me at the carpark.... when i am sec 4, i been to NUH before too.... my uncle was being sent over due to cancer... he stayed there for almost 2 weeks or more... still remember the day he discharged... he need two person at his side to hold on to him... he looks extremely pale and weak... wondering why i am scare to go hospital... i dun wish to see my beloved ones to lie on the back and suffering.. last year... i saw my cousin.. he dropped his hairs... everyday he was taking injection... no appetite to eat... and i lost him.... he went away... this is the fact tat i couldn't deny.. when i having exams... i will not disappoint him... i might get the best result i have in my entire poly life... but he is not going to come back anymore... my aunt was very sad over this matter... she will be coming back this weekend... this christmas n new year won't be the same again...

korkor lying on the bed.... when the moment i reached there... he is abt time to go for operation... i leave first bcos dad nt free.. there is a bery silly girl... she stand outside the ward walking here and there and dun dare to go in.... till the moment she asked the nurse... wat's the name of the patient and the bed is at which corner.. 20 years of life... quite unpredictable... been to numerous of hospital to visit different pple... never expect to visit someone who always care for me and strong guy.... really very stunned... and let me recalled back the past.... how uncle struggling to survive... how my cousin trying his best to struggle but he still left us... if there is a wish for me... i wish that u will survive... shulin jiejie always been very quiet... i wondering 1 year i never saw her liao.. how was she... did she overcome the heartache she had....... i would rather have my korkor there quarrel with me and argue with me... wat abt you??

today went out with one of my secondary school friends... so long never see her leh.. ask her out for dinner... i went to try out the new christmas pizza... wow.. so big... both of us ate until very full.... next to our table, there is a very cute baby.... she keeps looking at us while she eating.. so lovely... my friend asked me faster go and have one myself... i says not tat easy.... hahaa... she ask me got bf or not.. erm... today much more special... i answer with a yes and a no too.. i also dunno whether i got a bf or not... he read my blog jus now in the afternoon.. he asked me a question.. u still think of him arh.. erm.. i duno how to answer... hahaa...today at tampines.... let me think louis that bunch of friends.... haha... duno why..... quite miss them... in a sense that most of them are happy go lucky... quarrel in a while... the next moment everything is fine.. let me choose.... i want TIAN TIAN... he the best.... lalalalala... :P the one who scare i cry..... that day when i hurt my back.... i called him when i reached home.... i kept crying bcos it is so painful..... he very scare... haha... keep saying.. i accompany u go see doctor want or not.... Tian tian u the best.... at least being with u... i feel much more happier.... lolo.... when he saw this... he will kill me... or says bu yao hai wo arh......

today went to toa payoh with ester to cut hair..actually ying is coming to join us for dinner.. in the end... she says she got stomachache.. cannot join us... hai~~~ today cut away my long hair..cannot tie anymore..sian....so fast a month had passed.... he is coming back in two weeks time.... am i going to be veyr happy when he called me up.. will he get anything for me.. i have been thinking of these... hahaha.. the answer for all these question is.... NO... the distance between both of us will bcome futher.. i really miss the times...we had together.. maybe when he come back.. he will not look for me anymore...... playing ard for so long.. a bit getting very tired and restless.. dunno why.. feel like the feeling be with friends are better...

yesterday went to play pool with primary school friends.. on the way from tampines to parkway... my friend called me up... after i hang up the phone, the guy suddenly asked me your bf arh? i says no jus a friend... but he says sooner or later he is your bf... i scold him siao.. haha...The most funniest part was tat i saw JUSTIN FONG at TM... erm.. trying avoid to meet him at tampines... in the end.. when i was trying clothes at Gio.... and going to return back the clothes to the salesgirl.. i saw someone.. and i was trying to hide... there is no way i can hide... and he dragged me outside the shop... erm.. this guy sometimes a bit very violent but there are times that he are very good.. always help me this sotong... erm... been quite lucky lah.. got him ard when i need help... SHIFU aka turtle... hehe.. he also not bad... always bully him... Frm yr 1 to yr3... been always asking help from him for projects.........

i want to says a BIG thank you to someone... you are always there for me for these few years... i never regret that i know you... you had been giving me support... always tell me.. min.. must zai.. no fear.. min always remember wat u says.. do u know that.... why min listen to u so much.. u are the first one who called me min....the most silly guy arh... i asked u anything.. most of the time.. u won't says no to me... when u says no... but the next moment... you will help me... silly guy... always tell me dun be late.. when i late.. he frown.. always been keen to ask u out for dinner.. to express my grattitude to you... no chance le.. min u must be strong.........