erm.. this week very siong.. monday had swensen.. friday had sakae.. today i had yaki yuki.. omg.... mon-friday of tough training also cannot help me arh.. hai~~ hehe.. but okie lah.. so long never met up with my friends... went out with them to makan.. hehe.. :P still miss the old times i had with them.. erm.. but my wallet burn a big hole.. hehe.. today also sabo gary... wanted to meet him at orchard.. but he ended up that he went to play pool with his friends.. hai~~ but we set tat next week, we will be going out.. and there might had a chalet during the holidays..but for this.. we will be still planning.. but anyway i will keep u all update...

today when i was at my work place.. my phone seems to kana bomb by pple.. and i was wondering how come my phone keeps ringing.. 3 missed calls from korkor, 2 missed calls from my ex collegue, 1 call from my cousin, 2 calls from my parents.. and 1 call from si ren.. hai~~~ when i was thinking of how to solve my coding.. my boss kept informing me that my hp rings... maybe bcos i didn't switch to silent mode.. i was late today bcos i was delay by some work.. hai~~~ sian.. when can i open my mouth and inform my boss tat i need to stop for a while.. .

friday.. went to tampines to have sakae... surprisingly that there was one sakae at the basement of century square but very warm.. my friend's friend accompany us to wait for seats before he left.. one thing i can comment abt him.. blur blur plus very good to bully.. haha.. :P he lives near my house too.. i wondering.. do he know leo they all.. haha...

btw... nowadays pple seems to getting more and more interested in my personal life.. wondering whether do i have a bf.. and who is it.. erm.. pls be patient... if i think tat person suits to be my bf.. i will announce.. u all dun need so gan chiong for me.. bcos now i also a bit blur blur.. i will make my choice wisely... otherwise my parents will be nagging at me also.. furthermore gary says he want to intro his friends to me.. hhhahaa.. wat a joke sia.. next week meet him, must disturb him liao.. hehe.. :P btw.. i did not went chinablack with ester and ah-ying on friday nite.. wanted to go there so much.. after hearing wat both of them said plus mummy and daddy.. in the end.. i choose nt to go... my friend helped me to ask his friend to help me buy liqour back.. erm.. hope it is success.. tat time wanted to ask aunt to buy.. but in the end.. change my mind.. hai~~~ hope there is a chance i can buy back or someone can buy back for me... let's pray hard.. btw he going to pay HALF of it.. hehe.. :P

yesterday went to napfa.. erm.. predicted tat i will fail.. something did happen at nite.. my aunt called up us and inform us to attend a funeral tomorrow nite.. my cousin's grandpa jus passed away.. let me think that life is really very short.. should cherish every moments and seconds, i had now.. today read my friend's blog.. won't be surprise that she had not forget tat relationship... she is such a devoted person.. erm... as my part of friend, i feel that i really never spend enough time with her.. and keep her accompany thru her unhappy times.. she is always there for me yet.. i ......... hai~~~ so disappointed with myself.. Sorry!!!!

So long never post anything up.. i also dunno what should i post or what should i says.. i landed in such a dilemma state.. Saturday went out with my cousin to watch movie and have dinner.. it had been a long time i ever meet her.. so asked her out but again i am late.... so as to apologize for that.. i gave her a treat... When to watch closer.... The movie is not my type.. i dun like it.. feel that it was very boring... like no plot.. bcos they will never indicate the years.. unless the actor/actress mention it.... The guy never know who he likes.. in the end.. being ditched by tat two ladies.....

Sunday went to work.. such a tiring day.. after that went back home and rest... Try to cook butter cereal prawns.. erm.. taste nt bad... lala.. :P

Yesterday.. he went for operation.. I am not there for him either.. this let me recalled of what happened in the past.. last time when d went for operation, neither that i was there for him.. plus further more i went out to play pool with my friends.. he was so angry abt it.. but.. haha.. still forgave me.. Met korkor at city hall mrt station.. after so many things had happened.. he managed to stand up... but despite of so many curious stares.. he still laugh and joke with me... what can i says.. he was much more stronger than wat i expected.. he will be going to undergo a surgery in may.. i promise him that this time i will be there for him.. hai~~~ no mood to type in school.. maybe go back home then contiune the story... commit a sin yesterday... i ate swensen, yami yougurt and gelare ice-cream... hai~~~~ but taste yummy...

erm... though these few days fall sick... mind kept thinking about what should i do and wat should i choose.. jiefu nag at me.. korkor... also nag... hai~~~ i really dunno what should do nor what should i choose... tot of quiting my job soon due to i need to rush my FYP.. so this weekend going over to tell my boss about it... see what she will says... maybe this weekend really need to tot abt everything again.. and had a rest.... hai~~~~

hehe.. luckily yesterday saw turtle aka shifu at food junction in school.. otherwise i will die liao arh.. hehehe... shifu always help me for project.... so touched... lolo... :P sian arh.. but i still haven finish my project.. still got a long way to go... but got quite a good bunch of friend and pals supporting me.. hehe.. thanks arh....winston also offer his help bcos i seek help from him.. hehe... he says after his FYP wor.. lala.. :P

Today i went to polyclinic to see doctor because i am down with flu virus again.. oh my god... i jus recovered one month ago, yet now its back again.. Got one day mc and 5 packets of medicine. I had been staying at home for the whole day and sort of clear up my junks... I saw my POA textbook and notes... It reminds me of xinzhi.. why arh??? Maybe without her, i dun think i can pass my POA.. She is a very good friend, had always been helping others.. Really appecriate what she had done and helped me for the past few years.. Ever since we entered poly, i hardly met up with her nor chat with her. I miss the old days that we had.. but maybe times canot be back the same again..

I considered myself as quite lucky.. I had been meeting up pple who helped me on my path of life and guided me through certain extend.. but i also lost them.. Today also called up ah-kor.. erm.. chatted with him for a while.. also told him what i am stuck with now.. he told me to move on and forget someone.. no point to keep struggling with it.. I got my new perfume aka echo, a bracklet, a teddy bear and a bouquet of flowers as present...... i also duno wat i should want.. should i open the door and let someone to walk out and someone to enter.. or let everything remain the same...

kana suan bcos of my english.. lolo... :P get use to it liao... my english getting worst... needed help.. hehe.. nowadays keep talking to him and learn a few new words from him.. hehe.. :P maybe tat's good.. it showing that our friendship back to normal.... maybe got critize then i will know how to improve my english... thanks pal.. u had been with me for the past few days.. tat's enough.. really wish to cherish this friendship before u decided to go over to oversea to work... take care...

need to go back to do research le... sayo.... ying arh... ester arh.. dun be so busybody.. do your project.. later cannot finish then die liao.... :P :P sian.. counting down to tomorrow to get another present.. hehehe.. plus go out drink... lolo.. :P

hai~~~ i had been hanging up his phone for the past few days.. hahaa :P he said i xiao qi gui.. i also duno why i hang up.. maybe bcos i jealous ba.. he can go tat girl house but nt helping me to celebrate my birthday two years ago.. sad sia... maybe this year i celebrate my birthday.. he will nt come again.. during second day of chinese new year, my cousin asked me "how are you going to celebrate your birthday?" i guess i might cancel my plan to have a chalet.. maybe see who going to celebrate with me ba.... he might be the one who treat me the best... but he is also the one left me..... if really want me to wish him all the best... i won't said out.. bcos i dunno how to says out... maybe type out will be easier... one msg cause a big misunderstanding... and landed us in cold war.. should i blame anyone... NO.. bcos is i send it myself... told myself nt to regret but in the end i regret.. maybe now maintain as gd friends will be better.. but i wish nt tat close... i scare i might landed into again...

hai~~~ never post any msg for the past few days.. everyday in school do research.. sian... thanx tian tian for helping me to find some resource yesterday but sorry.. never use it due to........... hai~~~~ sob sob... last sat wanted to jio leo out to drink.. haha.. but he nt free.. today he jio me go drink.. i wanted to go so much but tomorrow had to wake up early.. sure black out.. somemore now super no mood..... hai~~~~when can i finish my project.. when can i find some progress to this project... sob sob.. couldn't even transform my notepad file to xml format.. how to write xml coding inside vb.net.. i got so many questions.. but nobody can answer my questions... what my supervisor said.. go library and find or go online and do research.. everyday from 8.30-6pm do research.. but nothing seems to work.. hai~~ only manage to show my notepad file inside my form ... the rest s***** couldn't show MS word file due to wat object model of MS office.. found the object model but.. is a execution file... who can help me.. sian arh... sat going out to drink.. hehe.. tht's the best.. hope can forget everything.. sian.. sunday still need to work... hai~~~~~life s*****
Yesterday quarrel with him.. hai~~~~ i dun understand him at all... hai~~~ since we are good friends.. should i care so much.. what he want to do, is his business.. what for i want to get angry or unhappy or even get jealous leh.. maybe next time what ever thing he do.. i shouldn't had care nor ask... maybe that will make my life better... should listen to wat jiefu said.. learn to let off my hand.. keep holding on to it.. will bring hurt to myself.. dun be so silly arh.....

erm.. today had a feast.. hehe... had butter prawn, black-pepper crocodile meat, calamari, soup... plus tawaniese snacks.. i try out strawberry wine today.... shiok.. it taste realyl nice... i like a lot... most importantly, i ate a lot of sashimi... *drooling*.... hehe... :P erm.. tomorrow should be going out to eat.. but i guess no ba.. when i finished school is already 6 plus... furthermore, i still haven do my report nor research nor project scope.. hai~~~~ i try playing mahjong today.. but still dunno how to play.. so complicated... next time find leo to teach me.. hehee :P (he want to kill me more than want to teach me...hai~~~~)

erm.. chinese new year eve went over to granny's house to have renioun dinner.. btw.. tat day skipped school... :P after that, went over to chinatown till abt 1 plus... when i reached home.. i am so tired....

Chinese new year, went to granny's house again... erm.. this time round to take ang-bao... hehe... :P gamble whole day sia... very tiring... hehehe... :P

Chinese new year (2nd day) went over to aunt's house to celebrate... After having lunch and gamble for a while.. we went to catch a movie at jurong point.. 1 out of 9 wanted to watch "I do I do", the rest wanted to watch "constantine"... so in the end of cos we chose to watch constantine.. bagus is the only word that i can use to describe this movie.. i liked a lot.. the ending was constantine is not together with tat girl.. hai~~~ i guess there should part 2 ba...

Chinese new year (3rd day) wen to school.... sob sob :"( if i didn't went to school.. i should be able to join them for the HI-TEA buffet at pheonix hotel.. hai~~~ but got to go back to school.. back struggling so much of not going back to school... bcos of shunu lah... promise him to go back to school... so no choice lah.... being force to go back school... :P

Chinese new year (4th day) received my gifts.. hehe.. should i says i like it or i dun like it.. hehee.. dun telll u... keep it as a secret... lalalaala :P btw... make leo angry today.. actually wanted to meet just now to drink but he said he going chalet... he got jio me lah.. but i shy lah.. no choice (pls dun vomit hor) .. he says i put his aeroplane again.. SORRY!!!!!!!!

tomorrow might be meeting my friends for dinner.. it had been a long time that i ever gather with them.. i wondering how would that be.. :P

hai~~` bought a new phone from m1 today.. again is another regret for me.. hai~~~ erm.. mum and my cousin said nt bad.... so i bought it.. after bought it then i realise no bluetooth nor infra-red.. hai~~~~ heartbreaks... both of my line are now under contract.. there is no way i can get another new phone unless i buy phone without line.. erm.. maybe nt ba... maybe try to find wat this phone data cable can transfer pc files to phone or not.. hai~~~~ wanted so badly when i first saw it.. but now.. realise... it dun really have the function of wat i wants...

hai~~~ everyday fall asleep ard 11 plus.. no longer a midnight owl.. haha :P now being stuck in school to do my FYP.. the life here really very sian.. everyday need to go and find supervisor for help... so hard... hai~~~ no mood at all... today cat, ying and ester all never come.. hai~~~~~ luckily got my partner, Miss tan.. or else die liao.. sian.... finish my gantt chart and poster.. now currently waiting for his instruction....and need to do project scope.. so boring... hai~~~~

monday... went to school for briefing session of my FYP... tay day **** bcos i had to walk ard the school for the whole day... due to communication problems between two different department.. alamak... waited call for the whole day.. hai~~~ after school, went out with ester and ying to toa payoh.. one word to says.. tired.. hai~~~~

tuesday...hai~~ even more worst... finally know who is my supervisor... but got to learn another new programming language called "XML"... omg.... i have never touch it at all.. i sure going to die soon within these 12 weeks.. hai~~~ no mood.. now in school doing research.. to nowhere.. hai~~~~~~~ no mood...

saturday was my last day for my attachment.. after that went back home instead of chalet... feel so tiring.. maybe bcos everyday i slept ard 1 plus and gt to wake up early in the morning... went out with mum to parkway.. and bcome fillial girl by giving mummy money to buy chinese goodies... after tat met him ard 11 plus... didn't went where also... only went to changi village there.. haha... only stayed there a while.. after tat we went back hm... bcos both of us were too tired.. actually wanted to go chinatown.. but i guessed i really dun have the energy to squeeze inside the crowds...

sunday morning ard 9 plus... winston called me.. haha.. but actually should be morning call.. bcos i meeting them to attend NTU talk at bugis... on the train, we were still discussing how come we are meeting so early.. The talk starts at 11am... we meet at 10.30am at bugis mrt station.. hai~~~ when we reached there, omg..... so crowded.. luckily manage to get a seat... but the talk really haywire.. the power slides were so much faster than wat the lecturers trying to cover.. wat she can do was kept apologizing to us abt the technical problems.. erm.. i wondering how come.. she study IT... ended up her powerpoint skills ................. hai~~~~ anyway NTU is nt my cup of tea.. i don't fit into the admission criteria.. my results also nt tat gd.. hai~~~after tat had my lunch at FJ with them... they walked ard looking for clothes.. but ended we went to chinatown... hahaha.. we went into the pasa malam... it was so warm.... so we went over to chinatown OG... they bought their new year clothes, after tat we went back home... my second outing starts when i reached home.. i went cycling with my cousin... went to return him his mp3 player...otherwise he will scream at me if i didn't return him.. bcos he won't be at home for the next week and he need it.. shiong... 1 and half hours of cycling... alamak... tiring... so shag....

sob sob.. how come nobody believe i no friends.. erm.. serious lah.. i no friends... hai~~~who is my close friends.. who is my zhi ji?? hai~~~ everytime i saw my cousin.. she will comment on me.. hai~~ she told my other cousins.. i got a lot of guy friends... i diam diam... they are my secondary friends lor... i admit.. my gf are d*** pitiful... pls.. help me find more gf and friends... thanks a lot...

Tomorrow going to be my last day of attachment.. erm.. maybe meeting carina and going to chalet instead of meeting two ba po .. hai~~ we shall see how...

erm.. yesterday went to watch aviation.. what i can says was a very boring show, seems like no ending... in the end, i am stuck in the theatre for 3 hours... alamak. .why no pple inform me about that... if someone tells me.. i won't go and watch that movie..

today so busy... but hai~~ took back more than 10 packets of chocolate biscuits.. so fattening.. alamak.. hai~~ asked mum to go distribute to her friends.... left some for tat three greedy pigs.. hehe.. next week school starts liao.. can treat them as snacks... save money.. lolo.. :P I already planning not to go back school on CNY's eve.. lalalaaa.. very naughty hor.. no choice.. no boring... must well stay at home and sleep.. and finding a target to accompany me to chinatown during the eve's nite... 2 years ago was korkor accompany me go.. but now he....... last year was ying... but i guessed she will think tat it is very boring to accompany me go... bcos i left at 1 plus... due to i going hm to talk on phone with my friend.. hahaa (luckily she duno abt it or else i guess she will kill me)... alamak.. this year who is going to accompany me there????? sob sob ^-^

Last announment to make for the day is... I AGREE MY BOSS TO WORK FOR HER TILL SHE FOUND A FULL TIME.. seems like i not going to have anytime for myself.. anyone looking for tuition teacher??? i want to work as a part-time tuition teacher also.. hahaa..

erm.. today morning, boss asked me dun need to go back to do stock-take.. heng arh.. i was so scared i overslept... so even though i drink yesterday nite, i still couldn't sleep well.. erm.. understand myself better.... still enjoying the moment spending with friends.. wanted to forget the crush i had so long ago.. it had been dragging for so long.. making myself so miserable.. wat for.. i should enjoy the life i had now.. and not holding the memories i had with him.. Everythings was in the past.. I can only says thank you... Without him last few years, i might not learn to be a bit independent.. I MUST TELL MYSELF.... ME n HIM FOREVER R FRIENDS.. nothing will go over this point..

I will look for my happiness instead clutching on the memories i had... haha... slowly see whether i can find my happiness or not... lalaa.. wish my g00d luck wor...

wow.. today after my work.. i went down to orchard to meet ester n ah-ying... after our dnn3r, 3st3r w3nt t0 m33t her b0ss.. while me and ah-ying went to cinel3isur3 to tak3 n3oprint.. not long later ... ester called us and ask us to go down to clarke quay to join them ... we says okie.. ended up.. we went to MS there to chiong... haha.. it has been such a long time i ever chiong... but really shiok.. .this is my first time step into the dacing floor to dance.. really enjoy myself a lot.. but not very drunk.. not like previously went to fisherman village.. try chevias(duno spell correct or not).. not bad... quite nice...

on friday, i went to porthsdown road.. erm.. it seems very special.. and uique.. totally different from the city area.. it is like a high class pulau ubin... quite interesting for that outing.. after that i went over to holland village there, to have my dinner.. this was also my first time been to holland village.. country bumpkin hor.. but nvm.. at least i went there once.. When to tea & esscential.. actually we wanted to sit at second level but was fully booked... The food over there really nice.. especially the lemongrass tiger prawns.. i like it so much... hehe.. maybe next time i will go and try out other resturant or cafes over there... After the dinner, we went over to orchard to shop around... I had been controlling myself.. and ask myself not to spend too much.. Actually i wanted to buy a t-shirt and nail polish but ended i spend the money on food.. When to the bistro at pacific plaza again.. the food there are not bad...

overall, i can says i had been exploring singapore for the past 2 days... btw i try tequlia shot yesterday .. erm.. i duno arh.. i finish the shot immediately.. wow.. very strong.. hehe.. but not drunk...

yesterday my boss opened her mouth... she asked me whether i am still working at cineleisure cartel or not?? Will i will be working part-time? She asking me whether i want to go back to work on weekend ?? If i going back, i got to work wake everyday early in the morning... So i am still considering... She will be giving me the same pay as wat cartel gives me lor... My parents says not bad... but i still thinking.. maybe tomorrow or tuesday, i will give her a reply.. nowadays keep working.. hardly got time to meet out with friends.. bcos of working.. canot celebrate joanna's birthday with her... cannot meet friends for movies, bowling and etc...... most imptly cannot celebrate korkor's 21 birthday with him.. erm... feel that i a neglect my friends quite a lot... it is been such a long time i ever met joyce n chuifen.. really miss the time we had in secondary school... there was a time, i should be meeting them to watch shrek2 but bcos i need to work OT... ended up... no time to meet them for dinner... hai~~~~ work took away a lot of my time.. during december... aunt n my cousin came back to sg... therefore, i spent more time with them and cousin... been always going out with them... one of my friend asked me, "why u always go out with your cousin?" i diam diam.. maybe bcos i have lost one... now i hope i dun wish to lose anyone.. i MUST learn how to cherish family ties and friendship...

Sorry, if i had hurt you... You blame me that i had no time for you.. but luckily we broke up.. Now.. i hope to spend more time with friends... i know your request isn't that too much.. but i really hardly had time for myself to take a breath... how to had time for you.. In Feb, i had to go back school for my FYP.... If i going to work part-time for my boss... i think i will hardly go out in the weekend...Maybe now is better that we are still friends..

thanx pals n friends... nowadays keep receiving msgs asking how am i.. i am fine.. thanks for the concern.. i believe i can stand up asap.. bcos i still got tons of things waiting for me to do... and looking for my happiness.. when i wanted to give up.. u let me had the courage to carry on.. but now... you leave me again.. i really speechless.. this also let me realize.. u are my gd friend or buddy... not someone who i like...