Tinnitus

The Ringing and Buzzing of Tinnitus.
Ear Rings

WebMD Answers to Questions
Question: Can you advise me on how to quiet the constant ringing and buzzing in my ears?

Answer:

Tinnitus -- "ringing in the ears" -- affects an estimated 35 million Americans. But tinnitus isn't just a ringing, it can also be heard as a buzzing, roaring, hissing, clicking, high-pitched whining, low-pitched hum, even a heart-like pulsing.

Tinnitus is actually a symptom of some common medical problems, such as:

* ear infection
* wax impaction
* noise exposure (like rock concerts)
* TMJ (temporomandibular joint) disorders
* even a side effect of medications such as aspirin, ibuprofen, caffeine, or birth control pills

Tinnitus may also be a symptom of more serious illnesses such as high blood pressure, anxiety/depression, diabetes, thyroid disorders, Ménière's disease, blood vessel disorders, or tumors.

There are two types of tinnitus:

* subjective tinnitus, when the sounds a sufferer hears may be perceived as very loud and only heard by them
* objective tinnitus, a less common condition when the sounds can be heard by the sufferer and a medical provider using a stethoscope

Finding a cause for tinnitus can be simple or require extensive diagnostic tests. In many cases, a cause is never found -- a frustrating fact for many tinnitus sufferers and their medical providers.

If a cause is determined, then treatment can be quite focused. For example, if a tinnitus sufferer is taking aspirin and is found to have high blood pressure, the aspirin is stopped and medications are given to control the blood pressure.

Even if a specific cause is never found, there is still hope for successful treatment. A combination of therapies over time usually offer the best hope.

* Biofeedback, relaxation training, counseling, and individualized psychotherapy helps manage stress and helps you change your body's reaction to the tinnitus. Tinnitus Retraining Therapy (TRT) combines counseling with special background sounds designed to help people suppress the sounds of their tinnitus.
* Antianxiety medications, such as Valium or Xanax, as well as a wide range of antidepressant medications, are very helpful for tinnitus sufferers. Other medications, such as diuretics (water pills), muscle relaxants, anticonvulsants medications, and antihistamines, are also used.
* Special hearing aids, electronic masking devices, or both, are often used when other methods have failed to achieve control. Cochlear implants and cochlear stimulation devices are being investigated for severe, intractable tinnitus cases. Surgical injections of lidocaine directly into the inner ear are also being used in some cases.
* Alternative treatments such as hypnosis, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, vitamin/mineral supplements, and herbal remedies may have some promise, but there is little, if any, meaningful research as to their effectiveness. Ginkgo biloba -- which is being studied to determine its effectiveness for tinnitus -- is said to improve blood flow and nerve function. Use ginkgo biloba with caution if you have a bleeding disorder or take blood thinners. Explore alternative options carefully, with the cooperation of your medical providers.

Certain lifestyle changes are very important for those that have tinnitus.

* Caffeine is one of the most common tinnitus aggravators and should be very limited. Coffee, teas, caffeinated colas, and chocolate all contain significant amounts of caffeine capable of constricting blood flow to the ear.
* Nicotine also constricts blood flow and can aggravate tinnitus, so efforts should be made to stop all tobacco use.
* Aspirin, especially higher doses, can cause or make tinnitus worse. Switch to acetaminophen products.
* A low-salt diet is also recommended by many medical providers, so hide that saltshaker and watch the sodium content of foods you eat.

Take an active role in your care, keeping up with the latest research. You may even have to educate your doctor on various treatments. Quieting the ringing will require a lifelong commitment to lifestyle changes, cooperative medical care, and most importantly, a positive and optimistic attitude.

Tinnitus prevention can include obvious things such as limiting exposure to loud noises, but vitamins and exercise may help, too. Exercising regularly may help by improving blood flow to ear structures, while B-12 can help the body make the material that protects the inner ear's nerves. Good B-12 sources include dairy products, meat, and eggs.

Almost everyone experiences an occasional ringing (or roaring, hissing, buzzing, or tinkling) in their ears; most tinnitus that comes and goes requires no medical treatment. But if your tinnitus is accompanied by other symptoms, becomes persistent, or starts to localize to one ear, visit a health professional.

specialist...

erm.... last thursday.. till a point that i can't take it anymore.. took a few hours off, went back home to see doctor.. took a medicine and knock out.. wake up ard 9 plus to run my job till late nite again~~ seems like these few nites, i had been doing tat..
the doctor refer to changi hospital to see specialist... i... hai~~ feel a bit.. up and down ba.. the clinic assistant actually the appointment should be ard april but she called me up ytd morning.. woke me up ard 10 plus.. i had made an appointment for you on this coming thursday at 11am. -_-'''' is my situation getting worst? or i getting infection.. mum asked me to go GP, don't go to see specialist but i had been seeing so many times of doctor tat it doesn't work.. i feel really sian.. and frustrated... hai~~
just the starting of the year, this kind of stuff happening on me..

last friday just kana niao by my boss.. super sian~~ feel like quitting.. i.... hai~~~
or i need a rest again.. feel so sickening to work under her.. my colleagues told me that we going to change boss.. i sort of pity her.. but i guess it will never happened.. cos i think my director quite biased. she is the one controlling it, if she said dun want to change, who will go against her? i wondering can i tahan bcos of the seek of the money tat i can get after my contract? but i guess i can't tahan..
From now till 14 nov, it is still a long long long long way to go..

wondering tml, i am going to tell my big boss that i need to apply leave to see specialist.. will he .... me.. or unhappy.. but the problem is... if i dun get it recover asap, i might suffer infection.. and it might cause me to be deaf.. i will never be able to hear beautiful music, no more KTV, no more movies... guess by then, i will be super depress... dun even want to talk to anyone..

i had been ignoring dear for about wk.. and he had been complaining.. i.. i feel guilty..

Bird Flu

hai~~~~ down by bird flu ... !@#@@##%#%%#$^#@#%!!@@!@$$@$%^!@Q#%

no leave in march.. leave freeze..
!!@#@$$!$%#@%@#@@!##%$^^@##!!@##

but ok lah. sort of running away of not joining my friend to go holiday.. .

while another grp planning to go taiwan.. wahahaa.. would i be able to go with them in august.. i quite keen of tat sia.... :P

or end of the year back to aus again..

m00d swing

ytd tossed here and there till 4 plus.. didn't really get enuff sleep for the past few days.. hai~~~

friday, i was in office till 1am doing my stupid refresh. scared that it will affect other jobs, therefore i choose to monitor it before i go to watch movie. hai~~ luckily my colleague accompany me and we went to watch norbit. it is considered nt bad.. trying to laugh as hard as possible.. hoping tat i really can laugh from the bottom of my heart.. guess pig year wasn't a good start for me.. before i alight from the taxi, i knocked my head against the handle. argh!!!!! extremely painful, but trying to crack joke that i will struck 4d on sat.. lame... ard 4am plus, my colleague took a midnite bus home.. while i am standing alone in orchard trying to wait for my bus come.. of cos i can't stand the loneliness being alone at orchard rd alone.. i called dear.. haha.. :P i blame him.. why can't he be in sg for me.. or is it bcos pple who landed in long distance relationship ended like me? or i too dependent on other pple? or can our relationship? or should i said we had never start before? or ?? he accompany me throughout the journey back home.. he read my blog and knew the news abt my ear but i avoid talking abt it.. or i dun want to face it myself?

sat.. i slept till 1 plus.. ard 4 plus got to work at home.. and went out with mummy.. cos she want to eat yu sheng.. i went to bought salmon sashimi... hahaa.. but.. they dun dare to eat.. i ate the whole plate of sashimi... ard 8 plus, i went down to vivocity to meet up my cousin and her friends.. i did not went back to clinic to do a further checkup... haha.. guess i am really running away from reality.. ard 10 plus, i went in to st james.. haha.. a different experience that i got.. tat day i dressed differently.. wear a pair of heels there.. guess i siao liao? drank a bit.. but heart feel damn painful.. dunno why.. hai~~ actually wanted to meet up with nanny.. to su ku.. but guess he busy.. rejected me for supper.. i left st james ard 3 plus and took cab hm..

sun.. i was at home sleeping.. but i woke up earilier than i expected.. i knocked out after i reached home and i slept over at the sofa.. morning than wake up to pom pom.. am i drunk? hahaa.. guess i start to like this place.. i still tot of going this sat.. asking esterling they all to go.. but guess they are nt free ba.. so in the end, i never msg..

my gd friend msn me.. asking whether i want to join her and her new bf and gary to bali.. hahaha.. suprisely, i rejected it.. i dunno why.. i feel we started to have gap.. or bcos my mind is whirling and not clear of things again..

had a short chat with my another gd friend on msn.. he asked me why so late i still haven sleep.. stress over wat.. i... actually wanted to tell him.. but... guess is too late.. my computer is playing a fool with me.. got dc..
[
had a chat with my netfriend too.. haha.. he said.. u are the one who choose whether happy or unhappy.. guess in the end, i choose unhappy..
or maybe bcos of my ear.. i feel a bit frustrated.. and unhappy..

Seriously.. these two years plus.. i lead a simple life.. either go out with friends or stay at home.. nothing much.. getting more and more sian of life.. dunno where to go.. head to where.. did some bad habits for social life.. of cos maybe nobody will know wat i did.. except a few pple.. or maybe none..

After cny, i grow one year old older.. tends to look back at things again.. am i too foolish or am i too silly or am i too gullible or it is all the same.. seriously when u tend to grow older, u will tends to lose more things..

my cousin told me.. had a bf.. he will always be there for you, no matter u are happy or upset or when u are down.. quite true.. even when u are down.. u dun even know who to go.. or i tends to act too strong in front of others..

had a chat with a net friend ytd, told him abt relationship.. he does agree, if i never know the reason, i will never had a chance to forget abt him. whether is it the truth or not.. guess i shouldn't think of it anymore.. still remember there is once my buddy ask me a question.. will you feel jealous that seeing your gd friends all in love le.. the answer i told him was 'No', guess can i change my answer.. i did feel sad.. heart still like bleeding non-stop.. bcos i lose my own happiness le..

now i understand wat louis means.. if we break up, we will never be friends again. bcos we fell in love once. or i never love u as much as u love me.. tat's y i dun feel painful to be friends with you? or ??

korkor.. u always tell me.. end things with a beautiful dot to make the story full with memories.. u keep asking me.. things had already past for so long.. why can't u just forget it and move on with your life?

tian tian.. i get to know u nt very long yet i had been dependent u for a period of time.. guess tat was period when i having exams.. u gave me the support and asked me to forget him..

nanny.. haha.. knew u when i am still working at cartel.. so fast, it had been years that i met you.. almost every year u celebrate my birthday with me.. saw u tat day when i drunk.. when hm to vomit out everything.. it was one day after my cousin pass away.. tat day i went drinking with an empty stomach, after drinking.. ate like a pig.. and went back hm vomitting out everything. guess it was ard 4 plus in th morning.. last yr cny eve, i met u out for movie after the reniuon dinner.. i remember i throw my tantrum on you.. it was the day when i know that, it was the last cny tat my grandpa will be celebrating with us. in the end, it was the truth.. he left us in march.. i cried after the funeral and in the office.. i guess i was in the state of devastated. never knew wat is the exact pain when u lose a kin.. till tat point of moment then i finally understand wat was the pain like..

if i am not wrong, a mth later.. my friends jio me to go ms to eat cake.. after first i wasn't keen of going at all.. in the end, kana scolding and persuading, i went down to ms to find them. ended up in mos.. but the next day, i need to work even though is a public holiday.. my friends said i looks much more better than when they saw me at mac.. guess eyes wasn't tat red and tears no longer rolling down..

why i had those kind of behavior.. guess is due to regrets? never really cherish it only till when is gone.. i always said.. cherish the things in front of you, dun wait until they are gone then you regret.. seems i like i had never leart my lesson and kept making the same mistakes again and again. i dun wish to turn dependent to love. i dun want to kept the pain again and again.. the pain is like sharpen knife kept stabbing on me once in the blue moon.

during these one month plus, i was having earing problems. consult doctor and even took mc. things doesn't seems to be on the brighter side.. from one ear to two ears... never really show it out.. just briefly told my colleagues cos i was on mc.. they agreed tat my situation got worst.. cos sometimes i can barely hear wat are talking abt.. therefore nwadays i always pluck earphones in my ear.. rather than hearing things and start my imagination going round and round again.. ever tot of stepping in polyclinic today, but maybe of phobia of going to hospital and do the check up and etc... went back to the same private clinic which i went last week.. different doctor on shift today, he asked me to go back checkup aft three days later. removal of the ear wax, it might be the reason of why i had been hearing tinkling or buzzing sound. which sometimes it makes me feel like fainting or suddenly blackout for a while.. last thur, i went to chinatown.. when i am trying clothes, my ear suddenly blackout.. almost faint over.. faster go buy medicated oil.. or maybe i haven had my dinner yet.. did feel a bit unwell but did shopping before i headed home.. he said if i dun cure it faster, it might had infection and i might loss my earing.. of cos nowadays keep thinking of wat if i bcome deaf, how would my life turns out to be? maybe i think too much le.. it might nt be tat serious.. read an article online, the best scenario after removal of the ear wax, my ears will be back normal.. but seems it had been persistent for more than one month.. it might have a bit of infection cos i did feel the pain when i pluck a cotton wool inside.. the worst scenario will be cancer.. but the percentage for this is certainly very low.. haha.. let me prepare for the worst, just tat had to go thru a lot of rounds of testing, needles in front of me .. haha.. i won't be tat unlucky till tat extreme ba?

**taken from a website.. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003043.htm

Alternative names
Ringing in the ears; Tinnitus; Noises or buzzing in the ears

Definition

Tinnitus is the medical term for "hearing" noises in your ears when there is no outside source of the sounds. The noises you hear can be soft or loud. They may sound like ringing, blowing, roaring, buzzing, hissing, humming, whistling, or sizzling. You may even think you are hearing air escaping, water running, the inside of a seashell, or musical notes.

Considerations

Tinnitus is common. Almost everyone experiences a mild form of tinnitus once in awhile that only lasts a few minutes. However, constant or recurring tinnitus is stressful and can interfere with your ability to concentrate or sleep.

Common Causes

It is not known exactly what causes a person to "hear" sounds with no outside source of the noise. However, tinnitus can be a symptom of almost any ear problem, including ear infections, foreign objects or wax in the ear, and injury from loud noises. Alcohol, caffeine, antibiotics, aspirin, or other drugs can also cause ear noises.

Tinnitus may occur with hearing loss. Occasionally, it is a sign of high blood pressure, an allergy, or anemia. Rarely, tinnitus is a sign of a serious problem like a tumor or aneurysm.

Home Care

* Tinnitus can be masked by competing sounds, such as low-level music, ticking clocks, or other noises. Tinnitus is often more noticeable when you go to bed at night because your surroundings are quieter. Any noise in the room, like a humidifier, white noise machine, or dishwasher, can help mask tinnitus and make it less irritating.
* Learn ways to relax. Feeling stressed or anxious can worsen tinnitus.
* Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and smoking.
* Get enough rest. Try sleeping with your head propped up in an elevated position. This lessens head congestion and noises may become less noticeable.

Call your health care provider if Return to top

Call your doctor if:

* Ear noises start after a head injury.
* The noises are associated with other unexplained symptoms like dizziness, feeling off balance, nausea, or vomiting.
* You have unexplained ear noises that bother you even after self-help measures.

What to expect at your health care provider's office Return to top

The health care provider will perform a physical examination, including a detailed ear examination. The provider ask questions such as:

* What does the sound resemble?
* Is the sound throbbing or rhythmic?
* Is it in one or both ears?
* What other symptoms are also present?

The following diagnostic tests may be performed:

* Audiology/audiometry to test hearing loss
* Head CT scan
* Head MRI scan
* Blood vessel studies (angiography)
* X-rays of the head

TREATMENT

Usually, there is no known cure for tinnitus. If the underlying cause is determined, then fixing that problem may take away your tinnitus (for example, removal of ear wax). Otherwise, measures to help you lessen or live with the noises are taken.

A tinnitus masker, a device worn like a hearing aid, may help. This works by producing low-level sound directly into the ear to cover or disguise the ear noise so that it is less bothersome. A hearing aid may help lessen ear noise and amplify outside sounds.

Medications such as anti-arrhythmics (usually used for irregular heart rhythms), antidepressants, vasodilators, tranquilizers, and anticonvulsants may help. Antihistamines (e.g., meclizine) are also often effective.

Sometimes, counseling may help you learn to tolerate tinnitus. When appropriate, you may be encouraged to consider biofeedback training. This is a method that helps you learn to control body functions by monitoring specific responses (such as tightness of a muscle group) and altering this response through relaxation.

The American Tinnitus Association is a good resource center and support group.

Prevention

Wear ear protection in any situations where ear damage is possible (such as loud concerts or jackhammers). If you have hearing loss, avoid further damage to your hearing by avoiding excessive noise.

Make sure your blood pressure is normal by maintaining proper body weight, exercising regularly, and seeing your doctor for yearly check ups.

References

Heller AJ. Classification and epidemiology of tinnitus. Otolaryngol Clin North Am. 2003; 36(2): 239-248.

Sismanis A. Tinnitus. Advances in evaluation and management. Otolaryngol Clin North Am. 2003; 36(2): xi-xii.

Update Date: 4/11/2005

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haha.. this news was updated in 2005.. guess it shouldn't be tat bad.. after three days later, i should be able to know wat will happened.. and wat is my new direction of life..

at most the worst scenario happened.. just cried.. and cried.. guess after tat i will be ok.. since it is nt the first time i met cancer.. ah gong and korkor lose their life bcos the lost the battle with it.. but touchwood.. hopefully this will nt happened to me ba.. i still so young.. still got so many places i haven went to and haven see finish the world.. i haven find a bf to sayang me.. take care of me.. accompany me thru my ups and downs..

kekee.. wat abt the best scenario happened.. i will stay at hm and relax or go out chill with my friends... at least i dun need to tolerate the buzzing sound anymore and i gain back my freedom.. at least my mind won't be imagine things again.. faster get a bf to sayang me and be with me.. hahaahaa.. :P

then go for job interviews and look for better opportunity. maybe end of the year go aus with my cousin.. haha.. escape from sg again.. go there stay for a period of time, if possible.. learn their culture.. find a new goal in life.. and learn to cherish things..

if i am in a dream land, i would like to restart my life .. move to a new piece of land.. build everythings by myself.. learn to be more independent.. lead a much more happier life.. start to learn things again..

jiejie.. there is once u sms me whether am i angry tat i did not get vodka vanilla.. jiejie.. i am nt angry at all.. during these period of times, i learnt tat things don't always like wat i think in my fairyland, it always turned out different. i wished that both u and jil had found your own happiness.. jil, jiejie and k.. u all gave me a beautiful memories of my poly life.. haha.. guess is time for me to grow up and start to think hw to should i lead my life.. jil, i always complain tat you change.. u will always said.. i never changed at all.. maybe is the feeling i had, had changed.. u no longer tat close with me.. no longer like my jiefu. .which will be there for me.. hearing me crying at nite le.. is i the one who keeps thinking things will be the same but i know that things will never be the same again..

just like a few years back, korkor always bought me cakes and celebrate my birthday with me at void decks.. even though sometimes we are in cold war.. tat period of times is my happiest time.. cos korkor.. u gave me a very sweet moments.. u always said i also treat u very gd arh.. why u kept thinking k is the one who treats u gd.. and still got so many pple ard u treats u equally gd arh.. why u want to keep holding on to a past tat the fruits will never ripe. korkor.. i really enjoyed the moments when we will just eating cakes and i always pour out my sorrows to you.. and u always said i like to cried.. as times passes.. i tried nt to cried in front of you.. and u had realised tat i seldom talk out le.. is it bcos we had changed already? or just like k.. u will be leaving me soon..

u always said i zhong se qin you.. hahaa.. but u and k will always be inside of me.. which gaves me a lot memories.. the two guys who pamper and take care of me.. who always scold me also..

hahahaa.. as for nanny.. byebye... can't always dependent on you tat often.. if i didn't know that u gt a gf.. i will never know that i had been depending on you.. u should have pursue for your happiness.. while let me this dependent girl.. find a way out of herself.. maybe no movies to watch.. always lazing at hm.. guess is time for me to get use to it..

hahaa.. it had been quite a long never do any blogging.. didn't really want to blog anymore.. feel a bit sian.. or maybe gt a bit irritated.. hahaaa..

something happy to share out.. nanny gt a gf le.. hahaa.. happy for him.. but feel a bit sad also.. next time nobody hear my complain abt my idiotic boss.. nobody accompany me to watch movie.. nobody to celebrate my birthday with me.. sigh~~ is nanny really tat impt to me? or nanny really tat gd.. hahahaa.. but i learnt my lesson from tian tian there.. guess is time to be apart with nanny le... byebye nanny..

tian tian also a gd friend of mine.. encourages me when i am down.. motivate me to studies.. somemore give me morning call during examination period.. kekeek.... i like to bully him.. always treat him like girl.. but ended up ..... . therefore.. i tend to stay a distance from pple when etc......

nwadays encounter some funny stuffs.. or maybe i should said i am too petty.. or maybe i too kpo.. when someone who i treated as gd friends..or so called we know for abt 8 years or so called.. we had been buddies.. i dun like the feeling that telling me things halfway.. i will just keep on guessing wat is happening. if maybe someone who i dunno tat well or tat long.. then i dun even bother to ask. in the end.. the reply i gt was is secret. i really feel disappointed.. maybe we didn't built up a trust before the friendship started. mayb there is starting to have a gap between us le.

didn't really met up with korkor nowadays... korkor asks me out but most of times are when like i need to run weekend jobs or monitor jobs at hm.. gosh~~ guess he will stop asking me out soon.. sigh~~ guess i am losing more and more friends le..

nowadays tend to hangout with colleagues, poly friends and primary school friends..
hahaa.. most of them are like i did not met them for more than 10 years.. just feel tat those kind of moments.. hahaa.. ed left aus for studies before he left sg.. he reprimanded me for not attending the primary school gathering, i fly aeroplane and i am late.. hopefully when he is back.. i had already changed for the better..

places that i went for the past one month..

-sentosa
-pasir panjang for seafood
-bugis
-international building ktv x 2
-ortram ktv
-ang mo kio steamboat
-bowling
-surprising.. no movies..
-shopping.. shopping.. shopping..
-chinatown
-sun with moon. yipee.. my favourite place..
-ichiban sushi..
-manhatten ... yipee.. i prefer manhatten rather than fish and co


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erm.. maybe i had something harsh on the previous post.. just tat sometimes i rather dunno anything and continue it... rather than hearing things hear and there to keep my mind keep whirling wat happened.. seriously i dun like pple to said things halfway.. but i, myself always do tat often...

guess maybe bcos stuffs in office that keeps me away ba.. office are full of politics which is like u will never know when u will step on mines and when it will explore. therefore i rather dunno know things or hear stuffs.. i am deaf... so.. maybe next time when someone talked to me... tell me something i know..rather than i know..

hahaa..as for k.. i still wish to know wat happened that makes us tat apart.. rather than u hurt me once deeply.. rather than let me keep guessing.. which hurts me deeper than ever..

Guess it had been a long long time that i ever make a post..

some christmas gifts or some gifts which i collected this year or last year or long time ago..

my xmas gift from my shitty boss



--> hahaa.. i like the colouring.. but i am a bit surprised tat she will give me.. maybe she dun want to make it too obvious tat we dislike each other.. :p

my 21th birthday gift from my banana



my 21th birthday gift from one of my buddies.. aka didi.. or uncle or ah pei.. haha.. :P



xiaoxin, a surprise from L.. long long time ago lor..



hehe.. u see lah.. i got hw many soft toys at home... guess is countless..



from the above pic, u will found 1 baby pooh, 1 pooh bear and 1 rabbit..
1 is from one of the buddies aka korkor aka etc.. for last yr xmas
1 is from nanny..
1 is from jiefu and jiejie b4 they broke up.. haha.. : P still said want to give me vanilla vodka on my 21th birthday.. yet they broke up before my 21th birthday.. so sad.. worst than me.. but in actual should said me and him end earilier than tat.. lol.. :P

guess this one is a bit special..




this one is from my gd buddy also.. lol.. :P
last time in sec school, we are not close at all.. just tat we joined the same eca (which is now known as CCA).. we were from choir.. i still can remember last time vividly.. how stupid am i sia.. bcos of my friends.. got into rumours with one of my gd friends.. but now no more contact le.. i still can remember.. last time i accompany linda to wait at the overhead bridge just bcos of 'MM chocolate' .. haha.. and other pple for 'pyramid'.. ended i always took the wrong bus home..
guess i need to recall why nowadays we are so good... can talk rubbish, watch movie together.. lol.. :P


chocolate with cereals..



haha..trying out.. going to enhance soon..


my 22nd birthday present from my buddies..



hahaa..
want to see somemore of my soft toy collection.. lol.. :P this is only part of it.. not all.. guess next time i can show my perfume collection also...

Guess nowadays i seems to lose my mind, been going gym and doing some exercises with colleagues or friends. But it doesn't seem to stop my eating habit.

Nowadays been always have a kind of hurting feeling, or i may hide inside room and cried. Guess maybe this is PMS? or should i have put in a phase that i am emotionally unstable? I got a kind of feeling that suddenly i missed him so much that i really wish to grab him and don't want to let go. This is a WRONG FEELING which i must not make the same mistake again. Not to deny, i might be starting a relationship which is long-distance relationship. But first of all i must step out of my door. For those that know me for sometime, you should know who i referring to. I really wish to get him out of mind. Missing him is a wrong feeling that i am giving myself. He might not be the one for me but i confirm tat i am not the one for him.

Being apart for about 2 years or more than 2 years? We dragged a friendship that between us for about 3 years. Sometimes i really don't understand why i had fallen inside the trap. I am not those type of very sociable yet i got a few buddies around me which is i am very glad. Some of my good friends are guys and furthermore we had know each other for like more than 8 years or even like my korkor, i know him for about 10 years. Yet i don't fall for him, i fell in love with someone who like is my friend for 3 years? Min, i guess u are CRAZY. You are also so selfish, do things when you had set your mind and changes my mindset. Min, why are you so selfish. You are not the one for me. STOP BOTHERING ME CAN!!!!!

Think i need to get this MIN out, so that all my friends will be able to see a brand new MIN aka LIMIN instead of someone who is keep thinking abt past and missing HIM.

Guess is time for me to take a break and leave SG. Go a short holiday with my mum and friends. Erm.. yy and Justine korkor, anything that u all want me to get back for u? Pls sms me before christmas.

**I not revealing when i am going nor when i am coming back...
(Guess this is wat i learn from you.)

**Hope tat this is the last time i going to mention you in my blog. I believe that i will find someone better than you and lead a much more happier life without u in my mind.

K, i don't really hate you but i hate myself why i keep drilling down on the past which hurts me that badly. Seriously, i do wish to be like friends with you. Who dun want such a good friend. Is my lose that i didn't cherish our friendship. Is i am the one who being selfish who always keen to have an outcome. Is i am the one who is so stupid that there fairytale happening in this world. Or maybe fairytale does exist just that it don't happen on me. Feel a bit sad that i didn't receive any birthday wishes from you and jiefu.

Remember there was one year, i was waiting for your wishes. But it came quite late, and it had bcome belated wishes. Jiefu was on the phone with me hearing my sobbing. Never know that time passes that fast, now we were all separated.

Aunt coming back from Aus next week..

Erm.. It had been almost a month that i ever do blogging. This one month it had been dramatically ups and downs.

24th oct..
met up with my cousins for gathering and went to watch a very boring show called the dalia..

25th oct..
i went out with nanny to watch the prestige.. and had japanese food.. lol.. :P
i was late.. nanny face was like damn black...

26th oct..
As for my birthday, i purely went to watch a movie with mummy.. and had a dinner with my parents.. Followed by meeting with my primary school friends, my friend bought a bottle of white wine, 6 cans of beer and we sat somewhere near Macdonald, splashing each other with beer. I remembered last year we were drinking vodka vanilla with coke. And we went for KTV session.

Seriously that month or maybe in early November,i had been to ktv like more than 4 times? All with different pple..

27th-29th..

I went do downtown east chalet... I met kw at 4pm at Pasir Ris Mrt station, guess what? I am late again. We went to the chalet first and the rest will come down later. Erm.. the room was full with Halloween decoration.. We met yy and went to supermarket to get stuffs for chalet. We actually wanted to go there earlier therefore we can buy a cake for her to celebrate in advance. Ard 9 plus, we went chiong but we left the room around 10pm. Bulldog was at tiong bahru barking cos we were late. Furthermore, i instructed them to drop off at the wrong bus-stop. We had to walk down to zouk. Seriously i dun really like to go there, maybe it was too crowded over there or not used to go out with them? haha.. :P erm.. i went to eat prata ard 1plus and four of us left zouk ard 2 plus. From then, we walked to clarke quay, followed by liang court macdonald to have big breakfast and ard 5 plus, gary joined us to walk to city hall mrt station. Ard 6 plus, when i am on my way back to chalet.. someone called me and chat with me throughout the journey till my phone low batt, while all my friends were sleeping. Guess who is him?

when i reached chalet, i was the last one to pom pom. hai~~ i fell asleep ard 8plus or 9.. Shifu's phone rang ard 9 plus, woke all of us up, another phone call at 10 plus, third call at 11 plus.. omg, i was so sleepy..that i woke up and sleep again. can't deny tat my buddies are sweet. He actually give me the pillow and share with me the blanket.. hehee.. :P When i wake up is ard 1 plus, we went supermarket to buy food for bbq again. Cos my korkor(KL) going to cook nice food for us.. lol.. :P Therefore i said bbq must have KL!!!!! Without him, all of us will starve due to all of us are lazy to cook... :P

I had chocolate ham specially from korkor and i dipped my chicken wing inside the chocolate, in the end kana niao by everyone.. lol.. :P
Followed by i went to escape for fortune telling...

around 3 plus.. someone called me and talked to me till i fall asleep.. the next day morning, i wake up le.. faster take cab home and ZzzzzZZzzzzZZz...

30th.. to 3rd of Nov
back to work.. super sian.. received a flower and a card from my fellow team colleagues and got an e-greeting frm my ex-users.
Carried on with my jobs and work... so sian.. .

4th to 5th Nov..
erm.. i was sleeping for the whole day on sat..
as for sunday, i went out to meet with ester and ah ying for shopping session. We went for neoprints, drinking session and shopping..

6th nov to 9th nov
suppose to meet ah ying they all on monday but i was being call back to do my job even though i am on leave.. so sian.. hai~~ work and work... till friday.. took a half day off..

10th to 12th nov..
friday, i went to watch flushed away with my colleagues..
as for saturday, i went out with two couples plus one of my guy friends.. so weird sia.. two of us go out with two couples.. omg.. hai~~~ my friend was like asking me whether i envy or not.. i reply to him.. "No".. guess he was a bit stunned ba.. We went to watch final call.. He was liked bullying me throughout the show, trying to scare me.. haha.. but luckily.. that show wasn't tat scary..
Sunday.. family day..

13th nov to 17th..
i went to watch the texas chainsaw massacre with my two buddies and one colleagues.. Since she wanted to watch it so much, therefore i asked her to join me. it was pretty disgusting, till a point that i want to hide away.. I like the indonesian food over PS foodcourt.. delicious sia.. : P

as on the 17th of nov, i went out with my buddies to celebrate yy's belated birthday. We bought her a pants at red2. Jo, gary and me went to ben and jerry's ice-cream while they waiting for win to finish his dinner. After that we went to durleons, and take a look.. :)

18th nov to 19th nov

i went sentosa last sat.. once again, i went to play the luge and skyride again. guess no matter hw many time i played skyride, i still feel a bit scare.. haha.. we went to underwater world and dolphin lagoon. I finally had a chance to go dolphin lagoon. :) Plus we went all the way to golf club to withdraw money.. hehee.. :P no yandaos over there leh.. only got posh cars.. After that we went to chinatown to have dessert.. followed by a shopping spree at chinatown, bugis and mustafa.. reached home ard 2am.. is like i went out at 11am.. my legs was like extremely tired..

ytd.. i went out with korkor(KL) to buy satay and after that he let me alight at tampines to meet jo.. Heard the story between she and her bf and we do a shopping spree over at tampines. Met leo downstairs but i ran away.. After that we went to CA for dinner. I waited for abt nearly half an hour at fish & co for my dinner..so sad.. after that korkor came over to join us, he treated us swensen ice-cream.. :)

fong korkor.. when are treating me to eat suki sushi/sakae buffet? hehee.. :P

Movies that i watched nowadays..
1) Death Note
2) Black Dahlie
3) The prestige
4) Rob-b-hood
5) Flushed away
6) Final call
7) The texas chainsaw massacre

erm.. a mth.. 7 movies? omg..

Changi Airport is a place where i always tend to hide when i am down.. why? Nobody will knows why i loved that place so much..or either why i always want to go there. Nothing is special over there, nobody will wants to go unless he or she is leaving sg. Maybe since secondary school days, CA is a place where we always hangout. A place where most of us will celebrate our birthday. Last year, i went with nanny to celebrate my 21th birthday at T1 Swensen. T1 swensen had always been the one where we hang out frequently. It gives me ton of memories.

A few years ago, we belong to a group of carefree people. We not think about relationship just hanging around each other. As time passes, a few of us had entered relationship path, how many of us really maintain a relationship? how many of us make scarfices for his/her relationship. Wat it turn out to be? I am not a person good at talking but i am a person who is good at behave like kid. Not to deny, although i am turning 22 years old in a few days time, I still behave like a kid. I am an indecisive person, i may do this but i am thinking of something else. I tends to cry easily nowaday, due to stress or pressure from work? or due to a pain inside my heart. I couldn't find a way out.. Guess i am stuck.. Seriously, i dun even know wat i want for birthday present... hahaa.. i dun lack of anything, currently i am not going after for branded stuffs but i dare not said i will not go after it. hahaha... :P pple ard me are wearing/buying branded.. haha.. maybe one day, i can't stand tempation, i will go after it. guess i just want care from pple.. haha... maybe i too weak le...

As for relationship, i really envy or maybe jealous ba.. When u go on the streets, how many of the couples can last till forever? how many couples still hold hands like when they are ard 60s or older.. Maybe i do not have the confident of stepping into a relationship or maybe i am scare of getting hurt. Cos is really painful when u fall for someone yet mayb he/she nt the one meant for you or maybe it only last for a few years. I am not saying that nowadays no relationship will last forever. But is the way you see things.. If you can't cherish wat he/she is, there is no way things will last. As time passes, he/she will change. Can you still accept that she/he turns old or bcome bald or have a big tummy or thick makeups or fatter or etc........ Nowadays in this society, there are more than enuff tempations that who can promised that they will never go astray.. Can a relationship really last as long as wat the elders had ? Are our thinkings in sink with their thinkings? Guess nope...

Last Saturday, i went to attend wedding dinner at suntec convention centre. As usual, was a big of group of us but one person is missing tat is grandpa. He is no longer participating in any event/function with us, yet i still see a shadow of him ard us. Maybe i do not have enuff sleep, that's why i am dreaming ba. Everybody was stunned when they heard that sometimes i worked till 2 to 3am. The bridegroom is so how my relative, as the bride was someone from china? Erm.. As usual, we don't know anything abt her. Is only heard that they met in China and they are working in the same company. But to me, she looks like a singaporean more than from shanghai. After they get married, they will go back to shanghai to contiune to carry on with their fairytale. Maybe at the point of the moment, i got think that when is going to be my chance to pursue my fairytale to start. haha.. maybe there won't be any fairytale happening in my life.

As pple ard me of so called pple who can been with me walking thru my relationship life with me.. They tend to suffer a lot cos i changed my mind a lot. I may said i love you but in the end i want to break cos i thinking i am dun suit you. Or maybe u should derserve someone better than me or maybe we shouldn't drag things for so long. we should go seperate ways..i hurt myself too often till i tot i am numb, i no longer had any feeling... but when he left me.. i tot i am fine, i will be ok with it.. till now i still dun understand.. when i am watching a movie/drama and it tend to have a sad ending, the pain inside me grows and i burst into tears.. why? stress? or unhappiness abt work? or ???

Tomorrow, i had a date with my director.. sigh~~ can i control my emotions? Can i control my words? Those pple who knows me well should know that, i am not good at controlling words.. therefore.. a bit........... hai~~~~~~

hai~~ i dunno whether i am being too naive or maybe i too kpo.. guess this job doesn't suit me. being kind, i try to find the root of the problem. yet in the end, pple put words in my mouth said i said de.. i like very innocent.. somemore is saying my friend.. hai~~ i think gone case le.. i.. feel so sian~~ dunno.. which one is right.. which one is wrong.. i.. a bit give up... feel so guility now.. i...... feel so bad mood... why pple always take my kind acts as an advantage or i am being too kpo? next time i should said i dunno.. but i always cannot control my own act.. i......

after struggling for two mths plus, guess is time for me to burst me out. everybody been forcing me with status status.. watever,i take it and ignore it but my boss DARE TO SAID I DID NOT PRODUCE ANYTHING FOR A MTH and my timeline is fixed by myself. No matter wat she said i take it and forget it. Guess this time she is overdoing, i am not taking any privileges that i got or watever. I know everybody been closing monitor my status and she even asked me to send my status to her yet she dare to said nobody is monitoring my status. WTF!!! Guess wednesday was the day for me to collaspe, do you know that i gt no window to run batch for the day yet she wants me to coordinate with other teams and make sure i can run my job on that nite. She can said at most you change your working time lor.. 4am wake up and run.. WTF!!! This is a damn shitty company.. with such a shitty boss!!! Sunday i wait till 3 plus to run my job, Monday.. I do my monthly job till 2 plus.. Tuesday.. i was in office at 1 plus to babysit my job.. Wednesday u ask me to look at the job from 12am to 6am arh? if run pass 5 plus, faster kill the job therefore i will not at 6am. Sometimes i wondering am i working 24hrs? or 6 days or even 7 days a week? The users are not rushing it? Why do you have to stress me till i burst it out? I had been tolerating everything without making a sound. You can said watever you want, i keep quiet and do my work, at most i complain to my friends. But damn sad that i burst out, don't think i can stay anymore. I got the guards to complain my boss in front of her boss. she will definitely take revenge on me. is either i leave or i go another team.

Ever since on the 16 July, i start to pick up bits and pieces of here and there. Fixed a few IRs but they are just minor problems here and there. Started to learn datastage on 29 of July which was on kaiwong's birthday. Seriously tat day i dun even want to go there, after one day of torturing, i feel damn tired.. do you know that only recently i can sit and laugh with other pple.. but she wants to make my life tough again which is impossible.. i didn't even rest after it then why should i torture myself work 24 hrs a day? do u think is funny? I AM JUST A SMALL FRY YET I WANT TO CLEAR SO MUCH RUBBISH!!! As on the start of August, there was a handover session, and i clearing shit for users in order for them to submit to the parent company. Is this consider my fault also? Only after 10 of August, i start to go into it and is only then two mths backlog is at my side. The is also my fault why i never do the monthly refresh? When i want to do, server went for some maintenance, my fault arh? Do you know all R3 dwer reports are under me? Not a lot of reports, only got 24 reports but they are killing me. They are so alien to me yet wat i can do, was to struggle and went pass it. Within these two mths plus, i had to went thru tuff training, learn how to fix, communicate with users, do monthly job and learn. Is this called a peaceful training? or i use to get a very good life? therefore now i had to know wat is suffer? Guess i am not those type of pple who never went thru tough situation. I worked before night shift from 9pm to 10am and 10-10 or even later, we can only left if amt is tally. I am not those type only get work 8 hours and go home slack. I worked before 12 hours or more lor. But guess is my boss who makes me sick and tired and lose my motivation to work there. Make me to lose patient to see wat my stuffs is going thru. My SA asked me if you want to clear long leave, then another person will have to suffer wat u go thru? No ma, since u all can throw me there alone for so long, what is the problem to let me go. Other pple got so many to guide thru and learnt from while me? have to carry all the mistake and faults. Are they really my fault? I also a noob? who is standing at my point to see situation? all of them are just standing aside and see how i am going to fall. ya.. i fall and i pick up and i learn. but this time round nt bcos of i fall that i burst into tears. is bcos of the environment. i had been ok for the past few weeks but u make me more demoralize by saying i didn't produce anything in front of so many pple.. hahaa.. wat is the backlog? since u dun appreciate wat i put in my time and effort to clear my backlog then forget it. why should i give u face for it? i can jolly well go at 6 plus.. and dun do anything, left everything for you to clear.

AM i finding a way for other pple to pity me? or said i am very poor thing? NO!! I am just finding justice for myself. U can send an email to your director telling her i have not catch up the PROD. U can send her another email that i bullying you that i complain to my manger and my SA tat causes u to have meeting with them. FINE! i am ok with it. U are my boss, u always have the power to do it. U can even said i never work at all, i always come in late. Anyway, still gt other pple know tat i got bully without i opening my mouth. Another release manager had asked me before this, dun worry me and another person will support you. Anything come down and find us to talk. Do you know why? Bcos someone told another person that i got bully upstair, by tat time i was so touched that someone still concern abt whether i die already or not. I was being quite motivated by that time. If your boss is not considerated and always behind you stabbing you. What is the point of carrying on with something tat nobody appreciate wat u put in and value you?


taken from MSN Career


10 Signs It's Time to Quit

By Kate Lorenz, CareerBuilder.com Editor

"I like what I do. I just don't like where I work." Sound familiar?

From unbearable co-workers to depressing work environments, there are things that can make even the best job a living hell. Here are some signs it's time to look for a new job.

Sign No. 1: Your co-workers are annoying. --> ok only

Obnoxious people can invade your work life. Let's face it, not everyone gets along perfectly. But you need to have some sort of harmonious relationship with fellow employees to get the job done. How are you supposed to get any work done when these guys keep getting in the way? They are distracting and impede productivity. Most offices have a Gossip, that one person who has the "scoop" all the time and is not afraid to share it. Misery loves company, and finds it often in the Whiner, who isn't afraid to complain and bellyache. And everyone has the Neighbor whose noisy distractions include his cellular ringtone, speakerphone and radio.

Sign No. 2: The environment is toxic. --> First reason

Everyone experiences job highs and lows, but discontent could also be a sign of a chronically depressing work environment or even a company in peril. A bad work environment is reflective of the culture of an entire business. Do you work in a less-than-nurturing atmosphere? Is morale constantly low? Have you been complaining for two solid years? It could be an organizational problem that applying feng shui to your cube just won't fix.

Sign No. 3: You're mentally exhausted by the end of the day. Second Reason

Stress can cause low morale, decreased productivity and apathy towards work. Plus, it can spill into your personal life and even have a negative effect on your health. Today there are fewer people who are taking on more and more work. American workers experience burnout at an alarming rate. According to CareerBuilder, 68 percent of workers feel burnout at work, and 45 percent said their workloads are too heavy. Yes, we all have to pick up some slack and "take one for the team" from time to time. But if there's no end in sight, do yourself and your health a favor and dust off your résumé.

Sign No. 4: Your boss is a nightmare. Third Reason

Even though this person is your boss, it doesn't give him license to do anything he wants. If you have a lousy boss, even the best job in the world can make life a living hell. Your relationship with your supervisor plays a big role in your overall professional happiness and success. Fighting to have your boss removed or waiting for your boss to change or get fired are rarely successful tactics. If you are working for someone who is always absent, unavailable, self-absorbed or untrustworthy, it's time to look for a better supervisor and a better opportunity.

Sign No. 5: You're watching the clock... every 10 minutes. --> i dun have enuff time to slack... hai~~~~~

Though you might not like to work, it's even worse when you are bored while you're there. One can only watch so many videos on YouTube or bid on unneeded things on eBay. If you aren't feeling challenged, that's a sign that you need additional responsibilities or a change roles. And be warned, if you don't have any responsibility or find yourself with nothing to do, management might be trying to phase you out and you might be in danger of losing your job.

Sign No. 6: You get no respect. --> YES, TOTALLY NO RESPECT!!!

Does any of this sound familiar? Your ideas aren't taken seriously; there are no opportunities for advancement; the boss ignores you; co-workers alienate you; you're discouraged from improving skills with a course or seminar; you're passed over for a promotion -- again; or you're excluded from key projects and strategizing sessions. So why are you still giving this organization your time, energy and great ideas?

Sign No. 7: Your co-workers act like animals. --> Guess is i irritate them more than they irritate me.

They live for themselves and only themselves. They irritate you. They offend you. They have no manners or ethics. And you work with them all. There's the Office Thief who steals your ideas. The Shirker arrives late, leaves early and disappears whenever work is near. The Buck-passer unloads her work onto everyone else and blames others for her mistakes. The Procrastinator delays things until the last possible minute, slowing you down by not having the information you need to meet your deadlines. The Interrupter stops by your cubicle 10 times a day to chat about her latest boyfriend despite your ringing telephone and pressing deadlines. And don't forget the infamous Elevator Person who rides up only one floor instead of taking the stairs.

Sign No. 8: Nobody communicates. --> talk to friends lor...

Although we live in a world of e-mail, cell phones, instant messages, Blackberries, WiFi and, yes, even face-to-face conversation, there can still be a complete lack of communication. Whether it's a co-worker who's not returning your voice mail or the CEO not conveying a company's goals and accomplishments, the breakdown of communication can be frustrating and detrimental to your job. It can cost you an account, make you to miss a deadline, cause you to lose a client, and even get you fired.

Sign No. 9: You're not valued. --> Most IMPT REASON THAT it make me burst out.

Forty-three percent of workers do not feel appreciated, and one-fourth of workers feel that they are just a "number" within their organization. You need to realize that you deserve credit for your successes. Recognition is important, and good companies implement programs to let employees know they are valued. Is your company doing anything to reward your efforts? Do you ever receive bonuses, perks or positive feedback? If your boss has never heard of positive reinforcement verbal or otherwise, find a company that will value your talents.

Sign No. 10: You feel stifled. --> Exactly agree, this job makes me having less time with friends or even with family..

What kind of quality of life do you have? Is your 40-hour week turning into a 24/7 grind? While salary may seem like the end all and be all, your quality of life determines your overall happiness. How much time you spend on the job, working conditions, supervisors and subordinates can positively and negatively impact your job outlook. If you dread the time you spent at work, it should be a clear indicator that it's time to break free. A job shouldn't stifle you creatively, mentally or physically.

Bottom line: Considering what you don't like about your current situation should give you insight into what you are seeking in future endeavors. If you know what your priorities and preferences are and actively seek them, work can be an enjoyable experience.


In the end, wat do you think i should i choose? Stay/Quit?

erm.. it had been a long long time that i ever did a posting.. seriously.. dunno wat had changes my life.. which makes me put on weight tat terrible.. a heart tat is meant to be broken or things tat been changing ard or bcos too many things happen and i can't take it the blow or bcos i am having a gd life.. why no matter hw much pple take in.. they will nt grow in sideway.. haha.. guess i need to clear my mind le ba.. today went to meet korkor since it had been almost a year which i last since him.. haha.. :P of cos he comment a lot of things.. although.. it is a bit hurting, i know he is just to make me feel better.. ask me stop being despair..

hai~~ maybe it just remind me a past tat it shouldn't start.. if given a chance to choose again, guess i will not choose this way. i dun dare not said i was being very loyal towards him. since it is a relationship which it had never start before, why it hurts me tat deep? bcos i lose too much or bcos i can't get him? i know korkor didn't mean it to mention about him but he did.. mention him.. guess my parents knew that he and i belongs to different world, therefore mum did not mention abt anything him when i came hm. During afternoon, korkor called mummy and tell her i want a air ticket to shanghai as birthday present. i dun even know where are you, all you did was ignoring all my sms and calls.. tat was wat i did in the airport or whenever i had cold war with you.. u always tell me to go look for a bf, dun always stuck with u. therefore, i can tell you.. yeah.. i did.. but it did not turns out gd.. choose to give up in the end and return back to you.. or mayb i should said i turn back to rely on you.. or i just finding someone to cover and nt to let u discover tat i had fall for you...

these four years plus was a tuff challenge for me and for yourself ba... should said.. u been with me and let me walked thru my own door.. but do you know.. when u leave.. my door had been closing.. i dun have the courage to open my own door.. i lost myself.. i use laughter to numb myself.. i act as fool in front of everyone..agree to everything.. no tears were found in front of anyone.. guess today korkor force me too hard.. tears fall.. not bcos he suan me or critize me.. was bcos the pain kept in my heart.. i know.. i lose u nt long after my cousin passed away.. but i just dun want to admit it.. therefore we walked thru another one more year.. till u went to shanghai.. i know.. things are more worst.. jiefu.. knows i had crying almost every nite jus to get sleep.. guess my habit had gone.. when u come back.. i think i was half way with nanny ba.. i dunno why.. i.... think i step back cos i dunno wat i want le.. nanny hate me.. but he forgive me.. i know he treat me very good.. he been a very nice guy to me.. but.. i scare i will make the same mistake again.. i dun want to be hurt again.. do u know u hurt me very deep.. when my cousin passed away.. u are there.. but i hang up the calls and send stupid sms.. u will said. min arh.. pms again.. when can u tell min.. to forget u without such a painful method.. why whenever other pple mention abt u.. i feel so pain.. yet everyday i had to wear a mask.. to avoid dropping tears and the pain inside me..

on my 21th birthday, guess my parents been hoping tat u will be coming.. which is i never ask u at all cos u dun even bother abt my birthday.. and i know u won't come.. as for other pple, of cos want to see my korkor.. but he was away in indonesia.. you two are the closer pple to me but yet both of u hurts me tat deep.. one just leave whenever he like.. one just throw temper at me.. why dun both of u stand at my position once.. do u know i almost collaspe when i lose both of u.. whenever i lost, i cried.. two of you been walking with me so long.. yet now i still lose one..

i avoid going to tampines and i dun like to go to tampines.. why? i dunno hw would i react if i see u standing in front of me with your gf.. i dunno how am i going to react.. no matter is it liuying or not.. cos i dun even know.. why i feel so painful.. bcos tat i lose someone who pamper me tat much and care for me or bcos i am stubborn or bcos i fall in love with you or bcos of wat??

i lose jiefu too.. jiefu was such a nice guy who will always be at my side when i am down.. but something happened.. guess tat was the most dramatic point tat he changes to be tuff to protect himself from getting hurt.. he was badly hurt tat time.. from a rabbit i got for present to a broken vanilla vodka broken heart.. hahaha.. but i never take tat broken vanilla broken heart.. guess the faith for 4 of us had ended.. jiefu and jiejie end le.. me and him also end le.. maybe sometimes jiefu and jiejie still got contact.. sometimes me and jiejie still got talk.. sometimes jiefu and me still got talk.. (guess it was when my grandpa pass away ba.. ) as for u.. i dunno.. maybe u are in far far far away from me.. or u are so near yet so far away from me.. guess my eyes are swollen now.. cos i just finish crying.. again.. tears dropped down le..

let me face myself ba.. i know i had been hiding away frm myself... until nowaday pple telling me... limin.. u are getting worst.. pls control your diet.. hahaa... guess is time to face myself le.. dun hide le.. 1 year plus is enuff le.. watever u lose.. is over.. dun look back.. can go buffet but not trying to hide my feelings by eating.. guess i have to find some other ways to reveal stress le..

btw.. my job contract going to end abt one month time.. let me see hw ba.. today only want to post abt him.. and still him... dun want to talk abt my own personal life...

古巨基_-_爱得太迟

a song recommend by someone..

男:我过去
抱紧她
早晚共对
到了扎职以后
自觉太累
而即使相约到
亦无言共对
疏淡如水
女:我过去
也只因
工作万岁
我爱侣极介意
跟他比对
而最怕再奋斗
做强人下去
有哪个能追

男:最心痛是
爱得太迟
女:有心倾诉
不可等某个日子
男:盲目地发奋
忙忙忙其实自私
合:梦中也习惯
有压力要我得志
女:谁会在意
谁会及时
男:只差一秒
心声都已变历史
合:忙极亦放肆
见我爱见的相知
要抱要吻要怎么也好
男:偏要推说等下一次

男:我最爱
等不到
早已别去
却发觉心太累
没有眼泪
穷一生
想再追
但难寻旧爱
都似独居
女:我也怕
习惯了
不靠伴侣
谁和谁又约我
一一婉拒
难碰上
我最爱
便独立下去
却怕有人催

男:错失太易
爱得太迟
女:怎么补救
心中的刺永在此
男:盲目地发奋
忙忙忙从来未知
合:幸福会掠过
再也没法说钟意
女:忘记上次
唯有及时
男:只差一秒
心声都已变历史
合:为何未放肆
见我爱见的相知
要抱要吻要怎么也好

男:不要相信一切有下次
女:珍惜我所爱又花几多秒
这几秒
男:能够做到又有多少
女:虽一秒
男:未算少
合:足够遗憾望掉

男:多少抱撼(女:不要)
多少过路人(女:抖震)
几多相爱
合:几多相处了又分
男:人人在发奋
想起他朝都兴奋
合:但今晚未过
我要过也很吸引
女:能吻便吻
谁也是人
男:理想很远
爱于咫尺却在等
合:来日别操心
趁我有能力相亲
世界有太多东西发生
男:不要等到天上拥吻
女:天空海阔谁与你俯瞰

erm.. dunno when.. my life start to get happening again.. dunno when.. i start to have the feeling tat is time to forget him.. dunno when.. i think i am getting on with me.. but guess i had for someone who i can't fall with.. or... maybe is a crush.. this kind of feeling will fade away very easily?

guess three weeks ago.. my life is revolving between work and still work.. currently i am back to the state tat on my desk, i am being piled up with tons and tons of work plus i had to deal with a two months backlog which was being accumlated before i took over from someone else. Guess from there onwards, my life had been really terrible and sad with these pile of work.. sigh~~ when can this all end? can i leave when contract ends? or whether i will renew? last time korkor kept complaining that it had been quite a while when i meet up with him.. is it bcos of this job, i lose this friend or bcos i dun make the effort to meet up with him? but i guess alot of pple i haven't meet up with or catch up with.. if pple ard me should understand well how my work does an impact to my social life. just like when my friend want to borrow a cd from me, she took months and months just to take the cd from me. And whenever she meet up with me for dinner.. she will be waiting for me at the mrt station for more than half an hour. guess almost everyone knew that i am a super workalcholic during weekdays and when it comes to weekend, sometimes i might be too lazy to go out and rot at hm for two days.. usually weekend is very short.. just to let my friends know.. my working hours had been hitting 16 hours a day which is causing me to lose contact with you all.. hopefully, you all will be able to forgive me for tat part..

More on my work.. When i start to join this company, they are in testing phase. And when it is moving towards production. Stuffs get harder and tougher, sort of like standby make sure things won't go wrong at the very last min when it is going to be on live.. As for now, being live, doesn't make me feel proud of anything due to i gt to do something which is very different with wat i does half year ago. Therefore, a big changes had come to life, furthermore i am dealing with live, if anything goes wrong i will have to responsible for it. Dun dare to deny, taking up this job i feel so stress that i burst into tears when i first took over from the guy. Do you know how tuff i feel?? I went to office at 9.30 and i left office at 3am in the morning.. hw i feel during the weekend? terrible till i dun feel like going anywhere, just to rot at home..

as for the last 3 weekend, once or twice in a week, i had been working for more than 12 hours.. it lead to my health a bit haywire.. furthermore, my boss tender.. i feel more stress.. cos i might land up with be the only to do support for 200 plus of reports which i dun even know the details for it.. sob sob.. ~~~ hopefully me and tat new guy can work out a way but we are doing different stuffs. As for datastage is a totally new program that i learn.. i dun even know how to debug, guess i am stuggling to survive in the swimming pool.. and complaning to my colleagues.. Normally, i won't be the only one to be in office till tat late.. always got one female colleague accompany... sometimes we did something funny is to call mac delivery at late nite.. hahaa.. :P

conclusion for last 3 weeks..
1) watched two movies - Devil wear prada with nanny.
John Tucker must die with yy, g, ant
2) Merchant court high tea with my poly friend
3) Agite and Thai Express with my colleagues
4) Bintain Trip with my ex-team mates.. hahaha.. i think i almost drunk.. imagine..
wednesday, i work till 3.. thursday, i work till 2.. and friday, i slept at 1 plus.. and sat, i woke up at 6.. i fell asleep on the sofa in bintain.. and sun, i woke up at 6 to catch the first ferry to come back to sg.. shag week~~~
5) A vegetarian restuarant - team lunch (is free~~~)

My sentosa trip before i go genting and kl...



Scenery of Sentosa




Sentosa Tram



Nothing to do while waiting for the guys to finish their skyride and lupe..



Saw this sandcastle before we going cannoing..



Chocolate pot in tiong bahru after sentosa trip



Trying to melt the chocolate



Durian ice cream.. bagus!!! : )



yummy.. delicious.. :P

erm.. so fast.. another two weeks passed le, my contract going to end soon. will i be able to extend? or i be able to renew contract? Although i grumble a lot abt this job, i can admit that this job pay is quite high. I might not be able find this pay outside the market. Or either tat i might nt be able to go out with my colleagues after work? or nobody to accompany me for lunch time? As from long time ago, i knew that i am nt tat independent as wat other pple tot of. I can't do things alone, always want pple to accompany. No matter is shopping, gym, sports activities, oversea trip or even lunch. I just can't make myself to survive on my own. why? alone? lonely? Or maybe i feel that human tends to like to have a companion. Why does pple tend to or yearn to step into a relationship? For my opinion, bcos we all yearns to get protect or protect others to show that u are strong. When you are down, you will hope to find a hand reaching out there to hold you and make sure u won't get hurt. Humans are selfish, they want to find a shelter and someone who will be there when they need it. That's why pple wants to step into a relationship. Long long time ago when i am still studying sec 4 ba, i met D. He asked me a question, between friends and bf, who will you choose? My answer to him was FRIENDS!! Am i very silly to make this decision? As recalled back, i remember i asked my friend about this question. She answer me the same thing and she told me that the guy who she love, asked her the same thing. hai~~~maybe we scarficed our relationship to maintain a friendship but ended the friendship also turn sour and just that everyone is trying very hard to save it. Whether it can be save or not, all depend on the person herself.

My life seems to be only revolving between work, work and work.. I planned to work and study at the same time. Am i trying to be very silly? Maybe i just want to keep myself busy instead of give myself more free time to think of something else. My life is no longer that happening as wat was in the past. Last time, might go clubbing with ester they all or drinking session with some friends.. guess i had stopped drining for quite a while.. or maybe bcos pple ard me seldom drink, tat's why stopped me for drinking.. but i can't deny tat my friend, mr bulldog, asking me to join he and his friends for drinking session.. haha.. but i keep rejecting..

Last two weeks, nothing much happened at all. I did not meet nanny on his birthday due to i got a bad cold. I fall sick immediately after the last post. Took one day of mc and stopped all medication. Don't know how i recover from my illness by stopping eating medicine? Or maybe next time i should not eat medicine, therefore i can recovered faster?

Last wk, i got ard 6 birthdays.... Although i miss nanny birthday, sat i went for two birthday celebration. One was with my poly friends, it was at suntec city sizzler. My friend gave us a treat, from her, i get to know that one of my poly friend got married at the age of 24. Furthermore, he is a guy.. Can you believe it? His wedding was in indonesia and his wife is a bit older than him. Ard evening, i met my secondary friends. Sort of there are abt 3 birthday boys there and another birthday boy was in hospital. They went to swensen at marina square, i did not had another meal there but ate free ice-cream by my gd friend.. lol.. :P Sad to said that the two girls who i am close with are not there. I was sort like alone there, although there is another girl there, i am not very close with her. We did not even said hi.. see lah.. so jialat.. hai~~ but lucky.. my gay friends all there.. i tend to hide between g and anton.. lol.. : P They keep me accompany throughout the whole nite. When they go play game, me and g went for coffee. We had a short chat but i realised that i dun understand as wat i had for other.. He seems like changes a lot.. Just when we walking towards the train station, we all lost each other.. haha.. split into different grp.. When i preparing to board the train, kelvin stopped me and anton. Ended up, we did not went home. We went to cafe cartel, actually we want to go haagan daz, maybe bcos evening time i keep saying i want to go haagan daz but anton thinks that is too ex.. in the end, we went to cafe cartel to have another round of drink. From there i can see my friend happiness, haha.. yy.. in case u know.. i will keep as a secret.. will not mention i saw whose face having happiness.. bcos we promised watever was said at that nite will not go out of it.. he was happily on the phone while me and the guy walked aimlessly.. Now i finally understand last time i was on the phone with XX, while i left my friends walking aimlessly.. but lucky still got someone else accompany me.. From him, i saw the past of me, how happily i am to be with XX.. How i am being protected by him ba? We encouraged him to confess but he said maybe not. Guess maybe i got a very bad experience, tat's why i asked him to confess it rather than next time he might get hurt. As for the chalet, i challenged both of them to bring there gfs. Erm? Am i being very bad? Erm? Am i considered single now? I dunno whether i am being attached or i am single? So far yet so near? My relationship was in a mess. Of cos, they send me a challenge was to bring my bf there? hahaha.. :P Nanny asked me wat i wan for birthday. I had the same answer as i told yy. I want a DIAMOND.. i am being too gready le ba.. HAHAHA!~~! Seriously, i want nothing bcos most of the stuffs i can get by myself.. Or i just want a simple life? Saw how my colleagues was so happy in her relationship.. i am so happy for her.. and tat's why i yearn to have the same feeling also.. but guess till now i still can't accept any relationship.. cos.. i am still not very stable to accept it. I am utlimately sorry if i rejected anything.

As for the chalet, of cos my gd friend challenge me... He wants me to get drunk on tat day... haha.. i hopefully i will get drunk also.. and the pain inside me might just fade away.. and can accept reality and not keep staying in my neverland. Although i am yearn to go to the chalet, if i couldn't be normal tat day.. Guess the best is i will not attend it.. i dun wish to spolit the fun..

Anyway next weekend, i will be leaving singapore for a short trip again..

i had been running away from everything except my work.. i know my mind is not in a stable mood again.. thinking of you, it hurts me much more.. ytd, i asked my colleague a question.. will you still be friend with your ex? she said yes but will not meet him again.. or maybe i seeing too many pple having their dar/dear/lao gong love them so much.. makes me of envy them? or maybe i dun have my luck to find someone who dotes me tat often.. who will listen to my grumble.. or i dun cherish things ard me.. last nite, i hid in my room as tears roll down again.. my emotion rushed down as fast as they can.. today when i am online, he chat with me..

xxx said :
Hey Hey

xxx said :
how's life?

min said :
ok lah

min said :
how abt you?

**waited for 15 mins.. no reply..
** another 5 mins... no reply..

min said :

xx can you leave me? i really feel very painful. i think i am a failure. you leave me so long yet i still couldn't forget. xx u hurt me damn painful or maybe i should said i hurt myself too deep. i pursue something which there is no feelings for me in the first place and just fall foolishly..

the end of the chat...

min dun be silly can.. some stuffs tat are over is already over.. nothing can twist it back.. once a person had changed or had a firm mind, nothing can changes.. you used to be so good to me.. who will hear my grumbles everyday.. said i dunno how to cook.. slowly.. i learn some my mum.. said i spendrift.. buy a $3 water chestnut drink.. u ask me wat.. i will be very honest and reply you.. i really dunno when i had fall for you.. when u might just treat me like a sister.. just like korkor want to protect me bcos i am very weak.. and it will reflect tat u are stronger than me. why? why is it me? if things had turned tat sour right at the beginning, i will not choose to contiune tat kind of feelings.. or relationship.. my cousin asked me.. you and him got no problems at all.. why didn't u all had started.. maybe she is wrong.. u dun have feelings for me.. tat's why we didn't start.. guess i need more time to forget you totally.. otherwise no matter i had stepped into how many relationships.. i still can't forget.. i always tend to compare pple with you..

this is song tat is descibing my feelings...

on the 9 of Aug...
Promised mum that i will take her out to shop.. We went to meet my auntie they all over at ikea but we did not went there for shopping cos mummy complaining too many pple.. Therefore we head queensway for shopping but also a lot of pple.. hai~~~ after tat we went to town for fireworks.. hai~~~ dunno why this year dun really feel like watching.. After tat we head home.. WAT!~~~~ i am being stuck in a traffic jam again.. hai~~~~~~ ~

on the 10 of Aug.. back to work.. of cos got to work OT again.. trying to pull out the data for the user and trying very hard to solve the issues.. changes a bit of attitude for my work.. but seriously i really feel stress and pressure... or i am a scary cat.. everything also scare or i am not courageous to take up the challenge.. i dun dare to promise i will not ruin the data. When i start to take up this job, everyone is telling me that this is a big project, you can participate is a good learning slope for you. I had overcome a challenge of the first part. Now another obstacle is here, it showing you that nothing will remain the same. As time passes, you had to face the challenge one by one..

on the 11 of Aug.. went to Aunt's house for a short stay... of cos i went to gym with my cousin.. and went jacuzzi.. i need a break otherwise i will collaspe very fast.. i realised that nowadays health is getting weaker and weaker.. i need to train up, otherwise i will faint down sooner or later..

on the 12 of Aug, my cousin woke me up ard 10plus.. Did a bit of brush up, we went to kbox at Jurong central... After tat we head to IMM to buy some snacks as lunch.. Ard 4 plus, i head home..

Conclusion for the month..
These few months, a lot of things happened.. i dun dare to ask anyone to stand in my position. Everyone tot tat i had recovered. I not a machine, every moment will be there crack a joke or trying to said something that will please you. I don't know how to explain how my dramatic mood happened. I dun know how to tell you how i feel about everything that occuring around me. Who can understand how i feel now? Guess nobody does that including myself. When grandpa passed away, i tot i can stand firm.. in the end, i can't even stand firm myself.. i collaspe in front of shifu and yiying and some of my gd friends.. Bulldog jio me go chiong bcos i want to go for a drink.. shifu received some weird msg from me.. What he and korkor does to me?? Neither a phonecall nor a msg. Seriously, this two persons used to be very closed with me, now all of us had bcome stranger. I dun even know how to face them.. not a single of courage. I can't deny, i cried for them before. How i met him? A phonecall when i cried.. that is how we started.. I still remembered that nite vividly.. korkor left me with 10 voicemail scolding me.. and i cried.. he is the one listening to me..

Nanny.. i dunno whether u still can remember that i watched the click.. i cried until very jialat. i did not tell you the truth.. i feel the pain inside my heart. i did not learn to cherish things in front of me often.. i feel really painful on that moment when i saw him passed away. These few years, i been seeing pple walking out of my life.. that day when mummy fell down at genting, i tot i will lose her too..

senior told me before when the moment u stop mentioning abt him.. is when u really forget him.. why?? it had been so long.. yet i still dun have the courage to let go? i been wondering if one day he and his gf standing in front of me, how would i feel? Can i face it? why i want to pursue something which dun have any ending...

Can i stop crying for friendship? I really tired le.. one is someone who i used to love.. one is someone who is very close to me.. both of them know me too well.. do you tat.. whenever i broke the friendship which either one of you.. i will cried like a mad woman.. do u know how often i drop my tears bcos of you all.. when i lose my kins.. where are you all? or maybe i just making up an excuses to make me feel better.. one will check my homework.. will be there for me when i dun cried..
another one is will be there for me and protect me.. yet i am hurt.. why?? bcos of someone who i love.. or bcos of someone who take care of me...

Everything is my fault!

on the 22 of July, after checking to hotel we went over to TImes Square for shopping.. After that we realise that was not what we want, we went to Sugnoi Wang (erm.. i forget how to spell le.. ).. When we are trying the clothes and busy shopping, we realise that omg.. we are late.. ard 8.30, we called a friend of ours that we will be late.. Hahaha.. they are on time while we are late.. Luckily, i got a m'sia sim card.. furthermore is very cheap, only $10 and can call back sg. I bought a cardigan and a skirt.. lol.. : P We faster rushed back to hotel to meet my colleagues. Guess wat, we were pretty late and we are stuck in the carnival.. omg..
Two cars waiting for us, they brought us to a japanese restuarant called fireworks. The environment there is decorated by fireworks poster. Those pple who knoes should know i like to watch fireworks, i will normally ask pple out to watch fireworks. The food there was not bad too but i still prefer sun with moon. After that, we were planning to go for drinking session but guess it was pretty late and therefore we head back to hotel. Guess wat 3 girls does? They went upstairs and put down their stuffs and head down for shopping spree again. Haha. Again, i bought a bag over there too... Ard 12 plus, we went back to hotel and take a quick bath. While waiting for the hair to dry, we were doing some chats.. : ) Ard 2plus, three of us knocked out. As we slept opposite ways of wat other pple does due to some fatal objects might dropped down in any moment. We pull out the blankets and just cover our ankles. But as the night grows darker, we feel more and more cold.. I woke up due to i am too cold, therefore i start to pull up the blanket a bit n nt affecting others.. tick tock.... tick tock.... 6am in the morning.. haha.. two of them already pull the blanket extremely up.. while.. i am feeling terrible cold.. lol.. :P ard 7am.. i still lazing on the bed.. while one of my friend woke up and brush up, preparing to go down and had breakfast..

On the 23 of July..
7.30am - Breakfast
8.30am - Back to hotel room for ladies... hehehee.. : )
9.00am - Lobby... waiting for departure...
9.05am - Broad the bus ...
9.15am - Reached sultan's place and took a pic with the horse.. hheehe..
10 plus - We went to Central Market and we bought 6 bracelets..
11 plus - We went to Mid-Valley. Over there is like a typical Singapore Shopping centre but is much more bigger than wat we have over here. They have Carrefour, California Gym, donut, kenny rogers, watson, faceshop, bodyshop and etc..
2 plus - We went to Times Square for lunch at Chicken Hertz, everything chicken.. erm.. the food there are so-so only.. After that we went to take a look at the indoor theme park and head to sungei wang for shopping spree again.. :)
5pm - We went to Chinatown.. wahaha.. of cos, i, auntie know how to bargain, if we dun bargain, sure very logi.. lol.. From a 65rm bag bargain till 25rm.. haha.. Good right?? Bcos i like to go pasa malam but nowadayd seldom bargain le.. :P Bought two bags there.. :)
7 plus - We went to have dinner, omg we just had lunched at 2 plus.. we are just trying to eat some..
8 plus - We are back to hotel room, guess wat of cos me this naughty girl dun wish to stay in hotel room for the night. We went out for window shopping and i need to change for money cos i spent too much le.. : P
10 plus - we are back to hotel room.. Pom Pom time...
12 plus - All knocked out le, bcos everyone are really very tired...

24 of July..
6 plus - We had already wake up and lazing on the bed..
7 plus - We start to pack up our stuffs..
8 plus - We went for breakfast and took some pics ard the hotel..
10 - We went back to hotel room.. trying to squeeze everything inside my lugguage and watch tv.. : )
11am - Is time to check out.. and leave KL..
11.30am - We went to a chocolate outlet. Guess wat i like the chocolate there a lot.. And i bought a lot of chocolate back.. 2 packets of Durians chocolate, 3 boxes of coffee, 1 packet of tirumisu and 1 packet of dark chocolate almond shared with another 2 person.. Total Cost of chocolate cost me : 170+RM.
12 plus - We went to somewhere nearby to take the pic of KLCC due to we do not have enuff time to visit there. Somemore the mati asked us faster go away.. guess it was due to the asian minister meeting helding somewhere near there...
1 plus - We went to mid-valley for lunch and we did some shopping also... i bought another 2 tshirts from there... lol...:P
2 plus - We head back to Singapore...
5 plus - We stopped at native product shop to buy local products.. Guess wat my friends need to purchase 3 sets.. one for her family, one for her bf's family and one for her colleagues. Omg!!!! She need two baskets to put all her stuffs.. :) Even the guys over there are teasing her whether she need another basket or not.. hehehe.. :P
6pm - We stopped over at a canteen there for dinner.. While other pple went down for dinner, we were busy packeting our stuffs. i think we had four bags of food and chocolate each?
9pm - We reached RH.. My friend's dad send another girl who stayed nearby home. While me waiting alone at RH for my dad. When my dad saw me, he stunned.. I had 3 bags of food.. one luggage.. omg..... :P

on the 25 of July
Back to work and i am extreme tired due to the long journey i had ytd. Somemore i worked OT till 9.. sob sob..

on the 26 - 28 of July..
All abt work and work..
26 of July, i went to learn how to make chocolate ice cream cake.. hahahaa.. the lesson is so boring.. no hands on... sigh~~~~~~~

28 of July, i went to watched pirates of carribean with one of my friends.. hehee.. it was a pretty nice movie... :)

on the 29 of July..
The starting of my new lesson DATASTAGE!!!! omg!!!! i dun understand the logic.. this is where my stress and pressure start to build up le.. one of my colleagues gave me a treat at delifrance.. so nice of him.. :) Ard 5 plus, i went back home and i don't know there is a surcharge of $2.. Shit!!! but anyway i am already very tired.. once i reached home i already knocked out.. Supposing there is a gathering at nite.. And i did said i don't want to go.. But ever since i start telling my gd friend tat i dun want to go.. of cos he tell my lao po... and the story goes on and on... i start to receive msgs from 5 pple asking me why i dun want to go and etc.. but i did tell my shifu.. i nt going.. I was extremely tired.. i didn't know that i can wake up at 7pm.. In the end, i rushed down to meet them.. but i am being held up by the jam due to NDP Preview.. Omg!! When i reached there is already 8.30.. hai~~~` not my fault ma.. firstly i really extremely tired due to travel and brainstorming lesson in the morning.. and i am stuck in traffic jam.. When i reached there.. i was being questioning.. so late!!! why never reply my msg!! why bluff me tat u nt coming !! and etc.. hai~~~~~~~~~ after tat went to take food with my lao po and gd friend.. hehee.. in the end, we had a good time over there.. :) After that we were wishy-washy, dunno where to go.. birthday boy wanted to go chiong but after a few obstacles, he choose to go home.. hehee.. all of us head home that day...

on the 30 of July, a day for myself.. seriously.. extremely tired.. .

on the 31 of July to 4 of Aug.. i can said i almost worked OT everyday.. except 1 of Aug, i went to meet a friend for movie. We went to watch lake house.. of cos my friend is complaining that i had nt been meeting her for 3 mths.. sigh~~~ as for korkor.. he complained worst.. he said if i dun meet him on sunday.. he will cut of ties with me... guess.. hai~~~~~~ 4 of Aug.. i reached home ard 9 plus.. nanny called me.. asking me whether i still keen to watch the movie or not.. of cos i want.. i need to relieve stress.. we went to watch click.. after tat, we went to esplande there for a short chat.. : )

On the 5 of Aug, the first day of firework.. i missed it.. by watching half of it.. in the end, i was being stuck in the traffic jam...

on the 6 of Aug, went to cousin's house at bukit panjang.. never tot tat i will came back home that late.. in the end, i did not meet korkor.. guess he is extremely angry with me.. i did nt catch up with him in this one year ba.. hai~~~~

on the 7 of aug, i went back to work.. haha..i stress until i cried.. jialat...

on the 8 of aug, i went to bugis after work with my friends.. we went to have japanese food..

... to be contiuned...