I realised tat in my life, there are a lot of turning points. Whether is it happy or unhappy, i still had to face it. What i can said now is, i am happy who i am now and what i had now. Whether will i cherish these moments, it will be unpredictable. Whether i had a make of decision of staying or leaving, i will normally use a reason to support myself. This is sort of a childish and selfish way of doing things.

At my turning point of 21... i had experience some different stuffs.

1) communication with pple...

• as for me, i am a poor at communication but when u know me longer.. u will think i am nt tat shy..

2) attend DND

• tat was my first DND in my entire life... sort of... never expect tat i got a chance to go to such grand place for my first DND.... and it was fun... learn a bit more on socialising..

3) attend wedding

• this coming sat, i will be attending my ex-colleague wedding over at Yishun(i guess)
• I missed Wenting's wedding last year but this time round, i am attending my friend's wedding... wow.... first time..

4) going to an outing with my colleagues

• my team leader had organise an event on this coming friday to celebrate the closure of part of this project... and my parents had actually approved me to go... the outing will be last for 12 hours... can i tahan???

Time passes really fast, it had been a week since i ever post something in my blog. Maybe i shall just do a summary about wat had happened to me during this whole week.

Tuesday, was my second day of work. I joined kim and her friends for lunch. Sort of i swop my seat with my colleague which we "MUSICAL CHAIR".

Wednesday, i went to watch Just Like Heaven with km. hehe.. That movie was considered not bad but i just dun understand how come i drop my tears at the very last moment. I felt a bit guilty towards km bcos i let waited for almost an hour. I wanted to go over to suntec after work. When i was on my way, my ex-colleague rang me asking me to do a favour for him. Of cos, i agreed to that. Therefore, i went back home trying to access to the email, too bad that account had already cancelled. I tried Ben & Jerry ice cream over at suntec, it was pretty not bad. :)

while as for work, i had my first meeting with users at late afternoon. It was pretty scarely, as i do not know anything about my job scope, yet i had to introduce myself to them. On their forehead, it state "Don't mess with me!". hehe.. They don't look friendly at all.. Does all the user had same the attitudes?

Thursday, had been a very shagged day for me. I guess i only had less than 5 hours of sleep and i need to get up for work. I had been yawning ever since morning. I had a second round of meeting, it was pretty much more worst than on wednesday. This meeting involve more than 150 pple. Wah piang!!! Still need to introduce ourselves, but as usual i hide at a corner without letting other pple realising.. hahaha.. :P

At nite, i went to attend my last section of LIFA. It was pretty fun but this mischevious min, took a long journey to reach bukit merah. It starts at 7pm, i reached almost 8pm. I felt so tiring, due to being pressurize by my leader and my forum coach. I had to be there since i don't want to break my promise towards them.

Friday, i really felt very shagged but i am excited to attend **** asia pacific annual DND.. Hehehe... I had been counting down ever since i stepped into office. It was very fun, they got a good host, Eddy. This malay guy knows how to speak in many languages and know how to react. We really had a great time. And i did drunk quite a lot of red wine and white wine. It tastes really good sia. After tat, i met km for supper.. hahaha.. but he said i am quite drunk... though supposely, we should be meeting nad and cherlyn for supper too.. Due to next day i got to work, i choose to go somewhere nearer.. sorry arh...

Saturday, got scolding due to friday came back home a bit late plus did not pick the calls from home. Sort of kana condemn by my parents, ended up i stayed at home to be a good girl. I went to Orchard to collect my ipod nano and exchange my cable vision setup box. Never joined either bunch of them for drinking session/shopping/movies/pool.....

Sunday, my cousin brought my granny to my house. After tat, we went to cycle at east coast. I realised that it changes a lot. Pple were so inconsideration. I know it is weekend, pple tend to go dating. BUT the track is already tat small, u had to prevent knocking towards pesdestrain and LOVERS!!!!! ONE couple actually hold their hands to cycle. !@#$%!!!!!! sigh.... guess weekend, is nt a good timing for me to cycle. Otherwise, i really got to train my patient to stand this kind of inconsideration pple.

MY FIRST DAY OF WORK SUCKS!!!!!


This is how i felt at my first day of work... i walked alone to united square... trying to be independent, telling them tat i know my way there.. once i reached there, i am lost... seriously, i had never saw so many pple in an office before.. this is scarely... trying to act steady.. manage to find my team leader...then she trying to find a small place for me to squeeze in.. and i felt tat my life is very miserable from tat moment onwards.. i had been reading the powerpoint slides from 10plus till i knock off at 6plus..except my lunch break... feel so restless to go back to work tomorrow.. hopefully, i can make my day better tomorrow.. hai~~ a bit regret why i had left my old boss.. :'(

at the evening time, i met my friend for dinner.. saw her dnd clothes.. not bad.. now i trying to make sure i am not totally black tat day.. but when i was at her home.. i start to felt my backache is coming... erm.. i did not carry any heavy things using my back force.. how come i felt tat sharp pain again.. let's me pray hard tat tomorrow i can walk.... otherwise.. u all might had to come to hospital to visit me...

hai~~~ these two days been very moody and f33ling terrible.. he still the one who understand me the most... haha.. just told him a sentence, he know wat's wrong with me.. there isn't any past nor future for us.. lol.. tat's the truth... i accept the truth and move on with my life... but i realise tat i couldn't really let go as easy as wat i said... if i had put down and walk off, i won't had lie to him abt my leaving. Seriously, i did got the urge to leave this place and go to another place for some time. maybe i am a coward, i dun want to let go wat i had now. my family and my friends n .......... or maybe the time is not right yet...

after knowing wat happened to my grandfather, things had been changing dramatically. most of us spent our time at home, rather than going out often.. maybe tat's wat called human. when it is time for pple to leave, we will tend to cherish him/her at the very last moment.

is time to pack up my feeling and prepare myself to go for my new change of environment.

today feel quite happy, received sms from a friend who is now in oversea. at least, he never neglect me. thanks.. ;) but today received weird msg from someone... she seems like going to end her life in any moment.. hai~~~~~~~

erm... guess i going to start work soon le... 2 more days to g0... supposely to meet jiefu to take vodka from him... but never msg or call him...

Last tuesday, i went to Thomson Medical Centre for my check-up. I guess it should be pretty fine. But i don't know why i got the urge to settle down soon. hahaa... :P Over there, you will see a lot of expression of how parents felt. Some husbands are sweet to accompany their wife to do medical checkup while others were sitting alone there. After that, i went to orchard with mummy. I brought her to try ding tai feng, pretty not bad but my wallet got a hole to amend. sob sob.. :'( heheee...

Wednesday, went to buy my dinner and dance dress.. erm.. in actual fact, i wasn't feeling very well but insisted to go and get my dress. otherwise i dun even know wat to wear tat day. Should i get time off my superior?

give myself two weeks break before starting a new job, was to give myself sufficent time to think what i want in life? what should i do? but ended, i stepped into my messy life instead of pulling myself out. Seriously, i am starting to scare of the arrival of monday. Everything going to be brand new again. Will i adapt to the new environment or will i backoff at the very last minutes. Pple who knows me well, should know i am someone who are not good at words. sian... will i be able to meet new friends or ended up i meet m0re enemies than friends??

last friday, went over to jiejie's house... we went for a swim. after tat back to her house for dinner and borrow a few cds from her... told ah-ma tat i am jobless now.. she looks worried for me... in the end, i told her.. i m changing my job.. then she felt more relieved.. sian.. when i reached orchard, i missed my last bus.. knowing tat i will take cab home.. i disturbed my friend by asking him to send me home.. erm.. this friend hor.. very good sia.. when i reached home..then he replyed me.. hai~~~ maybe i should walked to far east to try my luck to wait for 16A.. but after last week experience....... i changed my mine.. took a bus to suntec then took cab home.. wah piang.. is almost the same price as taking cab from orchard lor... i am such a fool....

saturday, brought mummy out... supposely to meet jiejie at orchard to take back my sweater.. tot of maybe brought mummy will be a good idea.. since she was at home.. plus daddy won't be back home so early... after so many things happened over at my granny's house.. he got to look after tat shop.... tot of bringing her to ding tai feng to eat "xiao long bao" but the queue was too long.. crystal jade... again.. too crowded... haha.. i brought her n my cousin to ZARA.. hehe.. tat skirt again.. my cousin wanted to sponsor me a bit.. but i rejected... i am still waiting.. anyone wants to chip in...lol... :P maybe i will get it when i get my first month salary...

hahaha... been thinking about these few days whether should i blog/wat should i blog...my life???

Seriously in my life... it had a lot of ups and downs.. which i dun even know.. and most of time.. there will be someone guiding me or lend me a lending hand to pull me up.. whether is tat a good choice or bad choice.. since secondary days, i got a very protective korkor... but now he is in indonesia.. got a shifu.. who will always help me in my studies.. hehe.. plus sometimes when i got problems.. he might be a good person to seek for advice.. got another da huan dan.. haha... :P sometimes he accompany me to drink and chat... lalala... i got two gfs.. who are sweet at moments... who will always be there... ;) actually, there will still two sweet guys appear in my life.. tat was ........ and my "jiefu" during my poly life... jiefu.. always hear me cried.. lol.... while ............ push me to be stronger... and he was the one who give me the nickname "min"...

for those who been to my birthday chalet.. must had saw how sweet my cousins were.. seriously they are really very sweet and nice pple tat i ever had.. really very grateful for wat they had done during my chalet plus my childhood life.. they painted my life with colours.. ;)

while the other side of my life.. is darkness... now nt to be mention... my life is in a mess now..

> P ERSONAL PERCEPTION
>
> Different people have different perception. One
> man's meat could be
> another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from
> the market. On the
> way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither
> of them ride on the
> donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife
> ride on the donkey.
> He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and
> commented, "The
> husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride
> on the donkey while
> the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife
> quickly got down and let
> the husband ride on the donkey.
>
> Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She
> commented, "How can
> the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He
> is no gentleman."
> The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him
> on the donkey. Then,
> they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey,
> how can you hold up
> the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you."
> Hearing that, the
> husband and wife immediately climbed down from the
> donkey and carried it
> on their shoulders.
>
> It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a
> narrow bridge, the
> donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their
> balance and fell
> into the river. You can never have everyone praise
> you, nor will
> everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at
> present, and never will
> be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our
conscience is clear..

BE PATIENT
>
> This is a true story which happened in the States. A
> man came out of his
> home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his
> three-year-old son
> was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of
> the truck. The man
> ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the
> little boy's hands into
> pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he
> rushed his son to
> the hospital.
>
> Although the doctor tried desperately to save the
> crushed bones, he
> finally had to amputate the fingers from both the
> boy's hands. When the
> boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged
> stubs, he innocently
> said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he
> asked, "but when are
> my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home
> & committed
> suicide.
>
> Think about this story the next time someone steps
> on your feet or u
> wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your
> patience with
> someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken
> bones & hurt feelings
> often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the
> difference between the
> person and the performance. We forget that
> forgiveness is greater than
> revenge.
>
> People make mistakes. We are allowed to make
> mistakes. But the actions
> we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

erm.... wednesday... MR sweet and nice gary waited for us at expo for one hour... hehe.. luckily he never killed me and yy... therefore we gave him a treat... plus tat day... i am too blur... the food fair is at next week... ended up.. we went in to metro sales... erm.. nothing much also.. after tat.. we went to geylang serai.. manage to squeeze thru the crowds.. but nothing much to buy... therefore we walked to geylang to eat durians.. worst still $19 for A DURIAN... but we went to buy packet durian.. guess i bcome more and more auntie.. bargian and compare prices here and there...

thursday... i went to wala wala with km.. erm.. i think for sure is tat the band was good.. quite enjoyed my stay there.. but sort of my "shyness" make me feel scare and nervous.. duno wat to say.. dunno wat to do.. erm... there were so many pple who i dunno.. plus something is worst............................ hai~~~ but at least met a few nice pple...

erm... due to under friend's influence... nowadays i join a forum.. haha..:P today met up with a few of his friends.. they had a party over at gallery hotel.. erm.. we will like trying very hard to reach there plus... quite a number of ma lu things happened.. lol.. got is quite fun to knoe this two pple.. seriously when km wore out that uniform.. i was laughing out so loud.. forgotten watever is in my mind.. in the end.. i still choose to leave.. and head home alone.. why? at nite km going to send me back home.. but why i still choose to leave.. the reason might bcos it was such a big crowd.. plus dun really know everyone inside.. guess it should be part of my fear doing me a favour of not going in.. plus.. wat if later i really get drunk how?? i know i won't control my limits.. so sad.. i still left the party.. the guy over at the receptionist so cute sia.. still smile at me.. haha.. guess customer service did improve already.. yesterday i went to espirt with ester.. tat lady damn kind... she seems like no customer liao.. kept serving us.. ask us this and ask tat.. even tat "girl" who promoting red earth products.. also ask me whether is she my auntie?? ...........

let me contiue with my trip to gallery hotel ba... i passby a bridge where i use to walk with louis.. yesterday i had a nitemare abt something had happened to him.. while today i walk to a place where both of us came before... let me recall back a lot of memories.. seriously, in life i did met a lot of kind souls ard me.. quite fortunate... wat am i asking now.. i guess wat i want now.. maybe is a stable relationship.. dun ask me who wor?? cos... my feelings now are like red and green beans mixing up together.. yesterday... i tot was zen's birthday.. msg him happy birthday... but ended up kana sabo by him.. sian.. :'( he asked me why i never gave tat guy(who bought me roses on my birthday) a chance? guess he treat me as gd friend ba.. but wat did for me for the past week.. really make my heart starting to melt..

half a year... had i forgotten someone who was used to be so impt in my life? guess slowly i had forget abt the feelings i had for him... we are just very good friends... he promised me tat he will help me to take things from jil.. guess he won't be tat good... he won't go and collect for me... he rather stay at home and sleep or played game.. hai~~~ when will my fairy tale story landed on me?

at that moment when i enjoyed my day so much.. things happening really good for me.. seriously... i had everything i wan for currently.. got a bunch of caring and loving cousin.. got a bunch of good friends.. no matter wind or sunnny.. they will always be there for me.. got a group of strangers who i dunno wishes me happy belated birthday.. parents love me... still got jil and xuer concern towards me... watever i want for birthday.. if can meet their budget.. they will try to buy for me... so sweet.. things really going great.. tat i can't deny...

guess a few months later.. got to be back to my quiet mode.. a shocking news came out from dad's mouth.. which i can't accept it... yesterday went to take my book from km.. haha.. he saw me starting to burst into tears... but never predicted... the rain was tat heavy... it seems like understand me.. when i wanted to cry... they sky had already cry beforehand.. seems like the thunder had strike me... it lets me recall tat how i lose my cousin in 2004....how tempermental am i when i know he going to pass away.. how i throw my temper towards my friend.. and yet they still forgive me.. how i cry at orchard mrt station.. it turns out to be a huge stone landed on my heart.. maybe is kind of kinship which i feel... last time when my cousin pass away.. still got "A" at my side.. a few months later.. who will be at my side? will i cry at the funeral? will everything changes? will there be a dispute for the fortune? seriously i dun care wat he left down.. cos i am not interested in tat.. i can feed myself using my own hand.. i know.. currently only can earn enuff money for myself plus a bit of allowance to give my family.. no point of wat.. i still have to carry on with my journey to provide a better living for my parents.. they love me as much as i love them.. when i wanted to post this out.. is when my mood had reaches the low end of myself..

my good friends.. though i will be meeting u all later.. pls don't ask me to take care.. let me stay as strong as possible.. dun wish to let my parents to know how i feel now.. i guess they thinks i old enuff to know how to think and handle my feelings..

my problem....................................................................

erm.. last nite i got really a sweet dream... some of my dreams do come truth.. but i really hope tat this dream will come truth.. i had met someone who i love... hehe.. but too bad.. i had forgotten how u look like..

jiejie been warning me... learn your lesson liao hor.. dun tat easily fell in love again.. erm.... seriously yesterday nite... it was really a very sweet dreams.. i had been thinking abt how tat guy look like... haha... :P guess maybe i am too tired.. didn't had a big break through for my work.. why.. am i tat stupid.. i can't even solve tat..

min arh min arh.. u getting more and more gone case.. more and more lazy.. more and more stupid.. can go die liao...

hehe.. today is my birthday.. erm.. no no.. 2 hours ago.. was my birthday.. today nothing much special.. just went back office as normal.. but during lunch.. my colleague gave me a surprise.. by treating me at cartel.. hehe.. erm.. they sort of know.. i got to go soon liao.. but i will miss them.. tot of bringing rocher for them tomorrow.. after work.. i went over to cineleisure to watch movie.. hehe.. the 40 year old virgin was good.. damn funny.. plus full house.. so worried tat the tickets will be sold.. cos i only reach there around 7.05... hehe.. he bought me a bouquet of roses.. really surprise cos i tot he will me a bear.. after movie.. we went for dinner.. actually thinking of crown or parkway or changi airport.. just nice 36 was here.. so i chose changi.. lala.. of cos he ll lah... it was my birthday... went over to T1 swensen.. got a free firehouse ice-cream.. yummy... delicious..

erm..sort of today i also know why me and another guy doesn't work out.. cos we know each other for too long.. erm..... sort of a bit pity.. but guess it is over... btw, my grandpa had discharged already.. but.. he never went for operation......

tuesday, went out with my colleague to orchard... we watched transporter 2.. tat guy was cool...after tat she went back hm.. and i went shopping for a pair of shoes.. ended up bought a pair of heels..

monday, was really shagged day for me.. cos i really very tired after two days of chalet... and after work i went to visit my grandpa.. and boss talk to me abt whether i want to stay or dun want to stay...

fri, sat and sun.. i enjoyed myself a lot.. thanks pple... should i said out wat i got for birthday?? ok.. i shall list all out....

1) 3 necklace - (one apple, one dragonfly and one seashells)
2) 3 pairs of earing - (one bear-->sliver, one dangling, one pair of 18k dolphins)
3) a cute bear wearing a friendship band.. it means me and her will be forever good
friend.. hehe.. right??
4) a cup
5) delicious.. hehe.. dkny perfume wor...
6) 2 bags...
7) two cards..
8) swimwear which i always wanted to buy...
9) vodka vanilla plus unknown --> bcos i haven take from jil.. and he is nagging me
to collect it from him asap.... so..........
10) a bouquet of flowers...
11) a big cushion..
12) a cartel treat...
13) hongbaos..
14) a dolphin braclet...
15) a cushion story book..
16) guess this one is for esterling to fill in.. lol.. :P
17) ........................ --> for u to fill u wat u want to give me..

seriously... today looks damn shag and haggard... really very tired of two days of fun end enjoyment.. life been really great for the past weekend.. everybody shower me with care and love.. seriously i really enjoyed my birthday celebration a lot... guess this will only be once.. cos it was an expensive celebration... had been discussing the matter of changing job or not.. guess all my family members know abt it.. they all encouraged me to take up this new challenge...

yesterday nite.. i was discussing this matter with both my good friends... they will support me no matter wat i choose in the end.. but in a future propective view.. is to choose something better... guess i also agree with them..

hai~~~ this week life been really too dramatic.. things had been happening really good and really bad.. guess wat had happened????

MY GRANDPA IN HOSPITAL

so wat?? wat so big deal abt it... erm.. if i am not wrong.. now.. the doctor suspecting he got cancer... now.................. can see tat my dad quite sad abt it... as to be a daughter of his..... i die die also must go hospital to see my grandpa.. no matter how tight my schedule.. no matter tat i had to take leave or off or watever.. he was being admitted on two days ago... till now i had never stepped in hospital to visit.. guess i going to scold by my grandma very soon.. she will said i unfillal and there goes her story.. blah blah.... hai~~~

my chalet going on.....

so wat again?? too dramatic... one side was sad..one side was happy... maybe tat's is wat called neutral in life...

got a new job........

yesterday went for the course.. my course mate told me.. i had actually make up my mind.. just want pple to said tat it is good... and i should go for it.. guess wat he said was right.. it shows tat the course was working effectively for him.. while for my case.. guess i had neglect my skills and sort of.. giving it up.. hai~~~~~ guess later on.. got to talk to my boss abt this matter...

erm... i got really a nice boss and a great bunch of colleagues.. though i got a job offer now.. but.. i really dunno wat to do.. felt so lose?? is the pay that tempts me to go or the company or ???????????

parents wanted me to work in the new company as pay was much more higher than the current one tat i had.. but... sor of couldn't bear to leave here now.. hai~~~ why must i make decision.. where i had to make decision..

actually wanted to celebrate my 21th birthday with kor before he leave.. but guess he was too busy ba.. no time for me. i leave early.. guess he must be very angry abt it... hai~~~ been reflecting on my journey back home..... tears started to roll down.. but.... once i opened up my magic book.. tears dry up le. hai~~~

erm.. got a shocked when i wake up in the morning.. my friend sms me.. ask me to reply her when i got up... sort of got 3 miss call by a buddy of mine to wake me up in the morning.. cos i requested morning call from him.... saw the msg of my another friend... asking me to attend a dinner and dance with her.. erm.. shocking news.. had never attend a dinner and dance before in my entitled life till now...

hai~~~ in the meanwhile i had to wait for a phonecall which makes me to change my phone to vibrate mode.. waiting seems like so hard.. just want to know the result whether i fail or had pass tat interview.. and i need to get back to my lecturers too.. hai~~~

waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting..........................

now i started to hate to wait.............................

saw this title.. am i anything to you??

i actually had went to bed but turn on my lights again... sort of a lot of things floating in my mind.. nothing seems to be clear in mind.. wat should i want... seems like the course had start to lose the power in my life... i started to be a wander soul again.. omg.. how can i landed in such state again.. took such a long time to recovered from this.. now... hai~~~

these past few weeks or days.. all my cousins had started to help me to plan out for my chalet... and help to prepare stuffs for me.. it is like a a whole family outing again.. cos out of my surprise my granny will be joining us too.. but duno why.. still feel very lose and empty.. seems like these few year i am at a losing end where i starting to lose a lot of things... i ......... though these few days i been chatting with him online.. but those things tat happened to him.. really stunned me.. why?? but i started to lose the feelings towards him.. maybe times passes really long.. get to get on with my life.. but.. dunnoooooooo why i feel so puzzled again and again... i guess i am very INDECISIVE.. i dunno wat i want in life.. wat i want to do..

at the end of the post, i can only said... I LOSE MY WAY AGAIN... BUT I WANT TO FIND IT BACK BY MYSELF...... MUST LEARN TO BE MORE DECISIVE..

yesterday nite had a nightmare.. tears been rolling down my cheeks... wat does tat means?? kor is leaving me.. he won't be celebrating my birthday with me.. kinda miss him when he leaves.. normally is he who pamper me.. and take care of me.. but i also hope tat within tat half a year he is away... i will have some changes in me.. really miss the times tat i had my black forest cake downstairs.. when i was celebrating my 18th birthday.. now... the fact is he will be leaving soon.. sob sob.. :'(

thursday..sort of had things to handle.. left office late.. reached there late.. then when i reached home.. was already quite late.. but had to finish stuffs tat i had brought back.. should express my thanks to kk.. cos he helped me a lot tat day.. thanks buddy.. next week or the week following will meet up with u and treat u... :P since tat was wat i promised... maybe on my birthday tat day hor..

friday.. sort of body immune system getting worst.. or maybe i haven really recovered.. and again i stay up late night.. so body system abt haywire.. went back to see doctor and complaint abt the antibotics.. 2 tablets 3 times a day. imagine 6 tablets for a day which led to my gastric pain.. therefore i had to stop it and changed the medicine.. if i contiune to get mc.. i guess my boss will kill me... although i might change job...