today i went chinese garden with ying n ester.. but i skip 3 hours of lecture.. hehe.. :P we took a lot of pic... i will post it... when i am free.. lolo.. :P

today i went to work.. today haywire sia.. my manager kana scold by customer till she want to cry.. when she step into the counter... she like crazy sia.. scold us until siao.. i dun even dare to step in.. luckily.. today my money tally... plus she dun need to return the shortage of money on friday.. phew... feel so relieve sia... erm.. this is the first time i felt sympathy for her... this whole week she had a tough time.. almost everyday she is doing full shift.. i work on wednesday, friday and sunday.. she also worked full shift on wednesday, friday and sunday.. today like volcano erupts... really very fierce sia.. but she quite good also.. jus like to act act only...

erm.. me and him.. are friends in the past.. we are also going to be friends from now onwards or in future.. just like good buddies.. i will treat him as a very good buddy i ever had.. thanks buddy.. i know once u start to aviod my calls, there is really an ending in our friendship.... thanks for looking after me, this xiao mei mei, for the past few three years.. if without you, i believe, min won't be that strong.. min will still like a small kid.. cry jus bcos of some little small things..

today dann bad mood that i dun ven want to go work nor go back to sec school to celebrate moon cake festival.. i yearning to go back so much and gather with my friends.. but today everything is gone.. this is such a bad week for me.. at first i lose my thumb drive.. i.. treat as nothing.. then now.. i lose my hp in the cab.. this is the second time i lose my hp.. i......... supper bad mood.. yesterday i went to work.. cashier cashier.. hai~~ encounter shortage of money.. i couldn't believe that i will shortage that much.. hai~~ really want to faint liao.. so many things happen in a such a short time.. i really regret why i wanted to end my friendship with you.. no matter wat happened, you are always at my side.. now i sense i really loss,, i dunno wat to do.. only u will understand how i feel.. i dunno why.. i feel so painful.. at first i tot.. nothing.. i can stand on my own.. i trying very hard to forget u..... but i know i can't.. i lie to u.. tat day i didn't drunk.. i just want to call u...... i dunno why.. maybe this 3 years i had dependent on you so much that i dun even know that.. i am not that strong.. aft tat incident.. i trying very hard to tell myself u must be strong.. u had grown up.. u must look aft your beloved ones... i lose everything..... pple will says only a phone and thunb drive and some money.. wat for like want to die like that.. i lose a very precious friendship and my cousin within 1 month plus.. should i cry? or should i be happy? first week.. i been thru is so hard.. luckily.. ah-han, ester and ah-ying.. they all been thru with me.. and be at my side.. or else i really dunno.. i cry every nite.. let my tears to be with me.. now.. when i am slowly letting go my pain.. i let everything slowly leave me.. in the end... i make a mistake again... i fall down again...

this might be the hardest time for me again.. i had never cry that much... last year when i came back from vacation.. tat is coldest period we ever had... never tot that we will have that again... pple always says that i had feelings in you.. i says no.. it is impossible.. i won't fall in love with you.. and you had gf liao.. but now i believe.. i did slowly getting use that you are at my side.. when i happy or sad.. u are always the first one who i want to share with.. but when tat day.. i went to airport alone... i sat there.. tears dropping now.. i saw plane taking off and landing.. i remembered last year when i went back to australia.. i saw "him"... less than a year.. "he" had already leave us.. before "he" leave i always pray so hard that there will be a miracle to appear.. that you won't had to leave.. in sg.. we can had laugh n fun.. but while in australia.. all of you.. are so sad.. we can't even share the burden with "you".. the leaving of you.. give an impact on us.. i told myself.. no matter wat had happened.. i will take care of everyone around me.. i also know that i had slowly fall in love with someone who treats me like a buddies.. there is no ending.. i decided to end the friendship.. i dun want to feel the pain... i tot i can forget everything within a short period of time.. but i am wrong.. is only such a short period of time.. to me.. it seems like so long..

now.. wat can i do.. try to stronger.. try harder to ferget you.. try to throw away all the past.. no relationship for me..... i am not a cinderella.. waiting for a someone who i love.. i am just a human being who must know how to look after myself and not to let other pple to worry for me.. i like the feeling being pamper as my parents pamper me a lot.. but i know from this minute onward.. i no longer that baby.. i must change to be more strong and look aft pple....... i use to wish that i am cinderella.. but it is only happen in fairy tale...... not in real life.. my life **** now!! from the moments i start to give up.. i know i will regrets.. but there is turning point for me.. is only to carry on to walk without you, my buddy.. till now.. maybe u are the only one who understands me well...

so fast.. going to end of the week liao.. sian.. erm.. actually tat day i didn't drunk.. just tat i want to forget everythings.. so that's why i am drunk.. there are things that i want to forget forever and forever but just that i really dunno why.. it seems like a recorder keeps repeating the same tape again.. is that really hard to forget you.. i call you that day... you are still the same.. it seems like without me bugging you.. you seems to be much more happier.. you deserve a very BIG thank you... thanks, my friend.. u really help me to pull through a lot in my lifes.. but due to my stubborn i decide to let go of this friendship....... sorry.. hope tat you will forgive me for my childish acts and stubborn..plus selfish ba.. i dun want to hurt myself deeper.. i had to stand much more stronger than anyone.. i promise my korkor.. i told him dun worry, i will help him to look aft everyone especially my grandma.. that's wat i can do for him.. and i know.. maybe he leave is good thing.. at least he won't be suffering so much.. i can sense that no matter how far he goes.. he is always at our side to help us.. bcos he love everyone of us..

i miss both of you a lot.. one is so far away from me.. one is so near to me.. yet i dun dare to step nearer to you.. maybe bcos i scare to get hurts and fall down again... do not wish to try the pain again..

yesterday i went out with my friends.. hahaa.. pig and dogs friends.. we went out to orchard to drink starbucks.. aft that we went to lucky plaza to buy perfume... we bought one escada island kiss.. which cost me $49... wowo... me.... declare bankrupt liao.. after that we went to checkerbox to drink wine.. that chou keith and leo.. fly my aeroplane.. hump!!! luckily still got my friend to accompany me go drink..wahahaha... i really a bit drunk.. dunno why also.. nowadays so fan.. hai~~~ when can things solve.. i really dunno... hai~~~ till now.. i pass my three papers... tomorrow is my last results coming out.. it also is my heartache paper.. i very scare for tomorrow paper... hai~~~

erm.. just now aft school.. i went back home.. instead of going to tat t00pid bar tra|n|ng.. but anyway go there also no money take.. only go there get scolding.. wahhaaa.. the day before i am so shag.. i only slept thr33 hours.. i want to tell the whole world tat i bery sian arh.. and sleepy nowadays.. so a bit haywire.. if can dun stay too near me.. later i let u very paiseh.. dun blame me arh..ehehehe...
after work.. went out with my pig and dog friends again.. we went to eat pizzas at rocky master.. aft tat went to coffee club express at orchard.. wah lau.. my ah-jiejie arh.. wait for us for almost half an hour.. when we reached there... she almost want to kill us liao.. the worst thing tat happened today is tat hor.. today i went to work.. when i stepped into the kitchen.. my manager shouted at me liao.. hai~~ i am so sian.. but i still can laugh all the way thru i worked..lolo...:P

back to the topic arh.. erm.. maybe i had really forgotten wat i had really been thru this one month.. my aunt finally called back.. hehehe.. i am so happy... but i dunno wat is their conversation like.. she also sent something back.. i wanted to know wat is that.. but i dun dare to take a look.. cos mummy won't let me see.. hai~~~ no wonder today mummy whole day at home... i guess she is waiting for the postman.. tat's why she never went out.. erm.. i still wanted to go aus at the end of the year.. from young till now.. everyone dote and care for me.. my aunt treats me also very good.. whenever she comes back.. she definitely will buy something for me.. when we go out.. she will ask me wat i wants.. but now.. i cannot do anything.. only can pray for them.. i hope everything is fine for them.. and i leh.. trying my best to forget a friend who i dunno i can forget or not.. hai~~~

GAMBATTE!!! n|t3..

jus now.. i went to starbuCks... to study.. hehee.. but my friend come and disturb me.. cos he need to borrow something from me.. in the end.. he sit there and talk to me for a while.. after tat he went back home.... not long later.. i received a msg from jiefu... hai~~~ wen shi jian qing wei he wu... cos he and jiejie relationship is down.. but... hai~~~ i also dun want to says too much abt it.. maybe after my warehousing.. then i share it out lah.. lolo.. back to someone.... he is so cute.. when he came over and says sorry to me..somemore with action too... this is the first time sia... i really think he is dann cute...lalalaa.... but too bad i dunno him.. hahaa.. even though i know him.. also be friends only.. cos no relationship for me... i already ruined a very gd friendship with my friend.. so now.. for me is to manage my studies and friendship and financial.. control myself not to spend too much money... and go slim down.. lolo.. :P erm.. my studies arh.. i think my 3 papers.. .. i hope that i can pass my papers...

today my mocha frappe really taste very different.. bcos it added a lot of chocolate sauce.. hehee.. i also dunno why leh.. but i feel so happy to see him today.. lalalalaa... :P

hai~~~again.. got 2 pig and dog friends.... called ah han... and ah ying..
ah han always thinking of purn purn..
while ah ying miss her JQ...
hahahaa

35 Questions of your ideal partner.

[1] How well must he/she know u?
erm.. to be frank.. I dun like pple to know me too well especially my boiboi.. lololo.. :P
[2] Does looks counts?
as long as I dun mind lor..
[3] Must he/she have an X-Factor?
Maybe I too stupid liao.. dun understand wat it means..
[4] Drive a car/bike?
Same as my friend, if I really love him… take public transport I also dun mind..
[5] Go clubbing often?
He like to go… then go lor.. if I go with my friends.. he also cannot says anything..
[6] Feel secure with him/her?
Maybe I a bit possessive.. but I really want some secure.. somemore I am like a xiao mei mei.. always cry.. and avoid things..
[7] Good at cracking jokes?
lolo.. hope that he will cheer me up when I am down.. and will be at my side..
[8] Should he/she be always spending all his/her time with u?
he should not spend all his time to me.. bcos to me.. I will spend most of my time with my friends or cousins or family..
[9] Conservative towards you?
Hahaha.. I also dunno
[10] A quick thinker?
Of cos.. then he can knows wat I wants mah…
[11] Should he/she have a good sense of dressing?
As long as he feel comfortable can liao.. dun wish to force pple to do things tat they dun like
[12] Preferbably what kind of hairstyle? Including colour.
erm.. I dunno leh.. bcos I am like a sotong myself.. always let the person who cut my hair decide for me.. ;)
[13] Should he/she be the one making decisions all the time?
No.. if he always make decision.. makes that I had to listen to him all the time
[14] Romantic?
Yesh.. every girl also want their bf to be romantic…
[15] Shy?
erm.. towards me not shy can liao.. wahaha..
[16] Hot-Tempered?
Who wants a hot-tempered to be their bf/gf?
[17] Loud or Quiet?
Erm.. know when to be loud or quiet..
[18] Generous or Stingy?
Wow.. if can..generous better.. lololo.. but is up to him to decide lah..

[19] Kind or Heartless?
Can I ask for a king bf? Or am I being too greedy abt it?
[20] Cute or Sweet?
i want a sweet n caring guy..
[21] Vain or Casual?
Casual.. I want him to be back himself..
[22] Punk or Hipster?
Anything..
[23] Smart or Stupid?
A smart guy.. but with me hor.. dun act to be too smart.. cos I very stupid..
[24] *For guys* Should she wear heavy makeup most of the time?
Hahaha.. dun need heavy make up lah..look very old sia..
[25] *For girls* Must he dress up all the time?
No lah.. why need to dress up all the time..so troublesome
[26] Should he/she pamper u?
of cos lah.. erm.. I am the only child at home.. mummy and daddy pamper me a lot.. or counted as I am very lucky.. a lot of pple pamper when i am young and now also. .hehee :P
[27] Should he/she be open minded when speaking to u?
I dun like guessing game..
[28] Should he/she be well-educated?
Ya lor….
[29] Good Looking+Dumb OR Ugly+Intelligent
Can ask for someone normal looking + not dumb..
[30] Possessive+faithful OR Freedom+unfaithful
I will give him freedom.. so he must give me too.. but also must faithful lah :P
[31] Childish+Caring OR Mature+Ignorant
When is time to be childish.. he must be childish.. when is time to be mature.. he must be mature…
[32] Should you be able to see a future ahead for u 2?
Erm.. I also dunno.. I very scare to says abt future.. bcos I dunno wat I wants..
[33] Do u think this kind of girl/guy exists?
Hahahaa.. I dunno.. if he is here.. I hope he will stays.. if he is not here.. then slowly come lor..
[34] If yes, have u met him/her? && [35] If no, do u think u will be able to meet him/her?
Hahaa.. if he is here.. I hope he will stays.. if he is not here.. then slowly come lor..

today very sian.. went for bar training.. but my yinyang fail sia.. sob sob..hai~~ but it really tastes yucks.. so next time when i doing bar.. pls dun come there.. or else u sure vomit out all the drinks..chou ying and ester.. throw me alone there.. i so lonely.. sob sob.. and they went to enjoy life.. hahaha.. but overall still okie lah.. now i going to sleep liao.. nite everyone...

btw.. it had been exactly one week we having cold war liao..

sian... i fall sick for two days liao..went to see doctor yesterday.. but till now still haven recover.. sian arh.. today still had to go back to my workplace..

wow.. today i had a great day at sentosa although i caught the cold virus.. hehee.. i toook quite a number of pics.. i went to the skytower at sentosa.. it is 131m tall.. from the top there.. u can see whole of sentosa view and tajong pajar port.. lolo.. erm.. i can says it is definitely a great place... i went to silso and palawan beach.. erm.. btw.. when i going back to mainland i saw bulldog sia.. i a bit very stunned.. he came over and says hi to me.. i really blur sia.. somemore my flu really dann bad lor.. i also wondering how come he knows i am working.. he still ask me dun work lah.. i says i need money.. he says i also mah.. but i never work leh.. erm.. i super stunned sia.. when he bcome so good.. or how come nowadays pple ard me keep asking me dun work.. leo even ask me whether i can handle or not.. erm.. only got one person supporting me..

finally i got the time to write my blog.. today worked from 11am to 11pm but in between got 2 hours break.. but very tired and shag.. my legs bcome so wobbly.. dun feel like walking anymore.. but luckily today dad went over to pick me up.. so tat's why i can reach home so early..

yesterday i went to watch cinderella story with ah-ying.. wahaha.. erm.. she seldom spend money sia.. she very thrifty..so shocked when she agreed to watch cinderella with me.. we went to CL but tickets are sold out.. PS also sold out.. in end we end up in Great World City.. luckily.. morning i went cheers to buy sweet and take one today.. or else i dun think i would want to catch it.. it is so tiring.. imagine from CL to PS and to Great world City again.. just to catch one movie... but overall i did enjoy myself a lot.. i like that movie.. erm.. i also want to be cinderella live happily ever after with my bf.. wahaha (it is impossible...) erm... korkor always ask me.. pls lah.. u how old liao..still believe this kind of fairy tales?? actually i did wish it will happen on me.. but i know it will never..i dun want to search for it liao bcos it is no longer impt for me.. i jus hope tat i can cope with my studies and work at the same time.. tat day, when we want to take 195 to marina.. tat bus driver dropped us halfway and went down to chit chat with the mama shop uncle sia.. the whole bus only got both us.. we laughed like crazy.. hahaa...

today is my second day cold war with him.. erm.. it might be very childish to do it in this way.. but.. i also dunno wat to do..been so tiring.. this year happens a lot of things.. i duno whether i should be happy or not.. but aft he had die.. i grown more mature.. i miss him a lot.. although he no longer survive liao.. i will still remember him.. i am not close to him at all.. he might be a stranger to me.. he is always so far from us.. but he is my cousin.. thanks.. i really grown much more stronger than las time.. me and .... friendship game over already.. i finally admitted i like him since the day i went over to aus.. i remember tat day when i was in the airport.. i was waiting for him to call, jus to says a good bye.. i will be very happy abt it.. but no.. he never called.. in the end, is my korkor called.. he helped me a lot in my life.. he pull me up.. he is really a gd friend.... korkor.. u may be shocked when i says i end up my friendship with him.. and might start to worry tat something will happen.. i am no longer tat xiao mei mei who are so weak.. jus end only.. so wat.. i dun want to carry on with him like this.. i really feel very tired.. maybe we should really take a break.. think whether should we be tat close.. or jus leave a gap in between it.. maybe a gap will help us a lot.. and i won't fall for him too.. i also dunno whether will i regret that monday i sms him the truth.. but thanks a lot, my friend.. u really leave me with very sweet memories...

btw.. i got smth to says.. thanks.. kong....... for letting me to dependent on you from now onwards.. haha.. u really can be my third kor.. no no... should be leo be my third korkor and kong be the fourth one.. lololo..
hahahaa... :P

2 days without him..

i wanted to update my blog.. but today i am too tired.. maybe tomorrow ba.. i wondering after doing one whole day of cashier.. will i still had to mood to type it out.. haha.. we shall see tomorrow... :P

wow.. i had not been updating for my blog for so many days.. hehe.. been busy working... erm.. i know i had been looking back at my past.. do i mind my past?? i also dunno.. today i wanted to go starbucks but in the end.. i went to changi airport.. i looked back at my past... wat i had did for the past few years.. from T1 took skytrain to T2.. and back to T1 again.. i think this is how i look at my life..for a moment.. i look at the future, for the next second i went back to my past.. erm.. i finally plucked out my courage to sms him.. maybe i had ruined my friendship with him.. erm.. i dunno whether it is good or not.. or even i had regret it? but maybe tat is one year ago... i like him for so long.. but finally everything had end... so currently.. dun decide to step into any relationship or put in any feelings except put my whole hearted to earn money + maintain my results..

wow.. yesterday i went to work whole day till my toes bcome blue black... sob sob... very painful... plus furthermore.. i cut my hand... hai~~ seems like a very bad day...

today i went PS to watch movie... erm.. something very weird catches my attention.. me and my cousin are watching 4.40pm garfield... we took the life up to level 7... in between.. there is guy go out at level 6B... the five of us inside the lift were feeling chill when we recall about this.. furthermore this month is the hungry ghost month....... we were so scare about it...

the story starts from.. I went to PS to meet my cousin at 4pm.. after that we went to Long John Sliver for lunch... after that we went to carrefore to purchase some snacks.. then we decided to take the lift up bcos it is already 4.30pm.. and the show starts at 4.40pm... erm.. inside the lift.. there are still other people including the both of us.. when it reaches a Level6B, a guy pushes a trolley of orange jucies and went out.... erm.. i saw there are some shops opening too.... so i tot maybe is the LCD display screen in the lift is spolit... that's why, there is an additional B beside the 6... When the door close... the lift only left 5 of us... the uncle was mumbling how come there is a 6B... we didn't really notice that much.. and dun want to bother abt it... the lift stopped again... the door opened.. almost everyone wanted to get out of the life.. but i shouted out.. it is level 6... my cousin walked in again.. plus that two girls.... only that uncle went out the lift.. aft tat incident.. we will really very stunned abt wat had happened... i couldn't really believe my eyes... BTW, Garfield is really a nice movie.. i like it a lot.. but my mind doesn't seems to be with me today.. erm.. inside my mind is all about relationship.. haha.. my life really corked up now.. which i dunno how to handle.. and how am i going to survive it.... erm....... actually i had a crush on a guy for 2 years plus.. he dunno abt it or he acts blur abt it.. i also dun want to care liao.. today i told him that i got a bf.. and he suddenly tells me that he is busy.. and wanted to put down the phone.. then of cos i let him put down.. does it means he got any feelings towards me.. i guess nope ba.. i am jus a girl who looks below average.. how would a guy wants.. erm..i wanted to let go of my feelings.. dun wish to step into any relationship.... getting more n more tired.. i dun wish to return back to those times again.. i would wish to put that all behind and not to bring them with me.. i miss D and L.. but so wat.. they are not going to be in my life again..

lalaala... maybe is childish acts... wanted to find a big hole to hide for a few days nor a few weeks.. but can only available for a few days.. cos 1 more wk later i will be having another 2 more papers... maybe nowadays happened so many things.. i also getting a bit of restless and tired.. dunno who to lend on or talk to....... maybe give myself a few days to do the things i like.. maybe u will see me MIA for a while... dun surprise hor... king kong... if u saw this post... ya lor.. i delete the acc liao.. lolo.. maybe this is my trademark ba... like to run and avoid things.. all of you take care sia...

yesterday nite i went Zouk with my friends to help me ah-jie aka esterling to celebrate her 20th birthday.. wahaha... old liao sia.. 20 liao.. hehe.. last year, we went there to celebrate her birthday.. this year again we went there.. but this time round dun have that ky to fly our aeroplane.. hehee... :P after thAt we went to posh bar.. don't know why.. maybe my friend was drunk.. so a bit too high until siao liao... but i am very sober bcos i didn't drink that much.. when i stepped into Zouk... everything appear in my mind is whether will i meet my ex there or not.. he always like to go on mambo nite.. he likes to dance a lot.. and will the centre of attraction at the dance floor.. therefore.. i never go chiong before with him.. erm.. maybe bcos nowadays are quite down.. so wanted to be there for me and care for me... hahaa.. wanted to find a bf to look after me... but a bit hard... no pple wants.. plus i fall easily in love and get out of it very fast... furthermore i am very good at hurting pple feelings.. so the best to stay single... can enjoy my life......

today i should went excursion with my friends but in the end when i reached there. i decided to go home first bcos i was feeling so unwell.. almost going to faint there.. after that experience i had.. i am so scare..i dun dare to go and see doctor... in case, i going to be admitted to hospital again.. so i went back home to rest.. when i reached home... i was so painful and trying hard to sleep.. erm.. luckily.. he is at my side.. haha.. not my side should be on phone.. i talking to him on phone.. actually we should be having cold war but in the end.. everytime our cold war would not last for more than 2 days...

yesterday i went out to bugis... i bought 2 skirts... but i like it quite a lot.. i went to hospital to visit my friend..this is the first time that i ever stepped into the hospital alone.. i am so scared but i did not express it out.. she seems like much more better.. at least i still not so worry.. last time when D enters hospital.. he expect me to go there and look after him but i never go.. he was so unhappy.. maybe bcos he love me.. he only angry for a while.. lolo.. i miss the time where there is someone always waiting for you and take care of you.. now leh.. i had to take care of myself.. make sure myself won't fall down so easily..