today dann bad mood that i dun ven want to go work nor go back to sec school to celebrate moon cake festival.. i yearning to go back so much and gather with my friends.. but today everything is gone.. this is such a bad week for me.. at first i lose my thumb drive.. i.. treat as nothing.. then now.. i lose my hp in the cab.. this is the second time i lose my hp.. i......... supper bad mood.. yesterday i went to work.. cashier cashier.. hai~~ encounter shortage of money.. i couldn't believe that i will shortage that much.. hai~~ really want to faint liao.. so many things happen in a such a short time.. i really regret why i wanted to end my friendship with you.. no matter wat happened, you are always at my side.. now i sense i really loss,, i dunno wat to do.. only u will understand how i feel.. i dunno why.. i feel so painful.. at first i tot.. nothing.. i can stand on my own.. i trying very hard to forget u..... but i know i can't.. i lie to u.. tat day i didn't drunk.. i just want to call u...... i dunno why.. maybe this 3 years i had dependent on you so much that i dun even know that.. i am not that strong.. aft tat incident.. i trying very hard to tell myself u must be strong.. u had grown up.. u must look aft your beloved ones... i lose everything..... pple will says only a phone and thunb drive and some money.. wat for like want to die like that.. i lose a very precious friendship and my cousin within 1 month plus.. should i cry? or should i be happy? first week.. i been thru is so hard.. luckily.. ah-han, ester and ah-ying.. they all been thru with me.. and be at my side.. or else i really dunno.. i cry every nite.. let my tears to be with me.. now.. when i am slowly letting go my pain.. i let everything slowly leave me.. in the end... i make a mistake again... i fall down again...

this might be the hardest time for me again.. i had never cry that much... last year when i came back from vacation.. tat is coldest period we ever had... never tot that we will have that again... pple always says that i had feelings in you.. i says no.. it is impossible.. i won't fall in love with you.. and you had gf liao.. but now i believe.. i did slowly getting use that you are at my side.. when i happy or sad.. u are always the first one who i want to share with.. but when tat day.. i went to airport alone... i sat there.. tears dropping now.. i saw plane taking off and landing.. i remembered last year when i went back to australia.. i saw "him"... less than a year.. "he" had already leave us.. before "he" leave i always pray so hard that there will be a miracle to appear.. that you won't had to leave.. in sg.. we can had laugh n fun.. but while in australia.. all of you.. are so sad.. we can't even share the burden with "you".. the leaving of you.. give an impact on us.. i told myself.. no matter wat had happened.. i will take care of everyone around me.. i also know that i had slowly fall in love with someone who treats me like a buddies.. there is no ending.. i decided to end the friendship.. i dun want to feel the pain... i tot i can forget everything within a short period of time.. but i am wrong.. is only such a short period of time.. to me.. it seems like so long..

now.. wat can i do.. try to stronger.. try harder to ferget you.. try to throw away all the past.. no relationship for me..... i am not a cinderella.. waiting for a someone who i love.. i am just a human being who must know how to look after myself and not to let other pple to worry for me.. i like the feeling being pamper as my parents pamper me a lot.. but i know from this minute onward.. i no longer that baby.. i must change to be more strong and look aft pple....... i use to wish that i am cinderella.. but it is only happen in fairy tale...... not in real life.. my life **** now!! from the moments i start to give up.. i know i will regrets.. but there is turning point for me.. is only to carry on to walk without you, my buddy.. till now.. maybe u are the only one who understands me well...