contradicting..

nowadays never been blog anything at all~~ can't deny~~~ life been quite gd~~ but.. dunno is ever since wat i heard from pple causes me to drift apart from a friend.. or i start to..... hahaha.. i might or i did.. or i said the wrong thing that causes a breakup of a couple? or so called i am good at it?

seriously.. i had friends that relationship is much more complex than me.. yet i always support her.. hahaha.. min arh min.. u siao le mah? how can u do tat.. guess u bcome abnormal..

why u can except this yet not that? or bcos of other pple comments tat causes u to change your mindset again and again?

hahaa.. i always listen to korkor.. there is a time where i never listened to him.. yet tat time i have never listened to him.. i fell.. hahaa.. just now friends was mentioning abt the past that i had.. i just avoid the topic..

guess i am a bastard.. did i hurt nanny before? i dunno.. did i hurt him yet i didn't know at all.. to be frank.. i know i hurt my parents quite bad on one night.. maybe that was the nite that they know i am still badly hurt inside me yet i never tell them at all..

korkor cursed me on tat day when i can't meet him up~~ i never be with him when he needs me.. there was a time that i need someone to be with me.. he came down and be with me~~ hear me cried.. before he left.. he bought a pack of sweets and tell me.. Jia you.. dun give up.. study hard for exams.. maybe that time korkor was not with me.. accompanying me study at mac.. i might not have pass my o level.. i am still the little girl who will remember who treats me gd.. when pple treats me gd.. i tend to bcome very soft le... korkor.. i never forget those times that u be with me.. i know u might not want to see me again~ seriously i dun mind to see him again.. as long as i know he is happy and healthy.. i am ok le~~

someone.. hahaa.. he changes my life.. i cried for him? or i stand from the point of past that i was being pamper by him.. or so called i never cherish him before? he understands me more than anyone.. he said wat.. i listen wat.. i really feel happy for that point of moment although he is not there for me when i need him~~ said already mah.. min very easy de mah~~ as long as u treats me very gd.. min.. will ok de..

haahaha... nanny.. i met on the day after my cousin's pass away ba~~ he saw me drunk.. opps.. he is a very gd friend.. after most of the friends that i can talk to had slowly left me.. he bcome in.. when i know nanny.. someone haven really left me.. hahaa.. so called i also never cherish him.. he also gt his pretty shanghai girl mah.. why would he cares abt me so much.. all he did is... gd morning, min.. take care..

why leh? min very weak mah.. cannot take care of hereself mah? i admit lah.. i am weak.. when u are away for one month.. i cried most of the times.. jil is the one be with me.. then korkor hospitalised.. haha...

after so many years.. my friend told me i never changed at all.. jil said i changed le~~ guess i know y he said i changed le~~ i never cried that easily as in the past le~~ now i am much more stronger.. but i can said i lose a lot also during these few years..

Relationship?

hai~~ guess now most of them know the truth le~~ dun need to keep quiet le ba~~ erm~~ guess the only person who gt hurts the most is A.. This is wat she quote in her friendster~~ "一只手是拍不响的，两只才拍得响。人的心是 会变得，没有想过移情别恋的伤害，我也会尝 试到。最不可示意的是我一直别人骗。" seriously~~ i agree~~ she really got hurt very deeply~~ in a relationship~~ why pple always tend to said break that easily.. why they can't communicate? erm~~ is it so easily to give up someone who u had been for more than 3 years or reaching 3 years? does this guy deserve a chance to be trust~~ or am i having a very immature thinking? In reality, there is no such thing called fairy tale story~~ i know that this incident had hurt a few pple~~ hope everyone can grow from it and find a better future~~ while~~ i think i am being very evil~~ i know the incident yet i kept quiet all the while~~ cos i promise not to said to anyone~~~

hai~~ i talked to ant last sat~~~ i told him hw i felt~~ he said i should nt felt in this way~~ i told him i want to avoid gathering for a peroid of time~~ he said why? there is nothing wrong~~ but i know my quietness~~ had hurt two of my other buddies~~ i...... sometimes they are there for me~~ and look after me~~~ so~~~ haiz~~~ i really speechless.. min.. where is the trust for friendship? loyalty..

or am i standing at a point of being ditched~~ that's why i feel sad.. or my imagination getting haywire again? haiz`~ currently sometimes i got dear care~~~ can't deny~~ dear is making me to fall in love with him~~~ but hw long can this feeling last? i really dunno~~ i dun even know whether it can cover the pain i had inside which i had kept for almost 3 years? sometimes brothers they all will look after me also~~ they hear me grumble the same thing again and again~~ seriously.. i know i had much more stronger bond with them~~ rather the rest~~ haha~~~ i will not forget hw brother take care of me tat day till he almost want to puke blood~~~ i might not be the most xin fu person at the current moment~~ i know if i fell i might have no support like what i had in the past~~ yet i still slowly growing~~ i hope i will be growing stronger everyday~~ and let u go out of my mind~~ maybe all of us will be happier~~ u never hurt me before~~ is just that i am holding on to a past that is over~~ which i had the pain in me~~ cos i am nt the one who let go of the hand first~~ or so called we did not communicate well before we let go~~ tat's why causing one party to feel hurt~~~

haiz~~ hopes everything will go well for everyone~~ everyone will find their true love in the coming year~~ and hopes that this friendship bond that wil had will last another 10 years ba~~ althought now i can see a few cracks now~~` haiz~~

Birthday celebration pics~~

Long before my birthday~~ My agent actually gave me 150 dollars of taka voucher.. I was like thinking wat should i get for myself as a birthday present~~

I bought a ..........................



hahaha~~ too extravagant le~~

25 Oct 2007 11plus :

Korkor called me~~ a bit surprised~~` haha~~ he stills remember my birthday~~ haha~~ this korkor arh~~ can said i know him for 10 years already? haaha~~~ together he been thru a lot with me~~~ of cos we quarrelled a lot also~~~ these 10 years~~ i can't said that he always celebrate with me my birthday~~~ sometimes he will give me surprise.. tat day he wanted to ask me out for supper.. is tat a surprise birthday celebration again`~ hahaa~~ maybe i think too much le~~ but sad to said i gt to work~~ never went out to meet him~~ maybe i still nt strong enuff to meet him ba~~ my heart is still feeling painful~~ to be frankly, i was actually dropping my tears when he mentioned abt someone.. i was dunno why~~ maybe tat is a wound which i dun want to hear again?

26 Oct 2007 :

My colleague as usual accompany me to work until 4am~~~ Erm~~ but this time round is a bit special~~~ My gd friend and her bf came over to my office.. They bought me a cake to help me to celebrate birthday~~ She bought me a swaroski crystal necklace and bought me a cake~~ seriously i am very touched~~ this year i tot nobody helped me to celebrate birthday de~~ i will be celebrating at home but this year i really had a memorable birthday~~




Supposing to go to NCS for interview at 8.30am~~ haha~~ hw to go~~ i ended up reached office ard 11am~~ haha~~ too shag le~~~ my colleague leh`~~ she gd lah~~ she took urgent off~~ hahahaa~~~ My second surprise celebration~~ i tot my lunch kakis forget abt my birthday~~ hahaa...



hehee~~ i like this mango cake~~ we actually bought this cake for my another colleague's birthday at sept~~ haha~~ this is nice~~ yummy~~ is from guache~~ my colleague go all the way to PS to collect the day before~~~ really very touched sia~~~~ they gave me masks, nail stickers and hand lotion~~ haha~~~~ :P

While my team or so called my colleagues did not join us tat celebration`~ after tat celebration~~ i was at my desk~~ they pop over and said happy birthday to me~~ hahah`~~ and a guy asked me ytd is it my birthday~~ and i told him~~ nope~~ he came over and said me~~ hahaha`~~~

A present from my colleague



erm~~ actually i wanted this very long time ago~~ but i couldn't find it~~ i saw it at my another colleague's workplace~~~ hehee~~~

After work`~ i went back hm for a while~~~ then i went out to clarke quay to meet jiejie they all~~~ hahaah~~ i ended up sleeping in daddy's van~~ haha~~ i am damn tired~~ like who person going to break down le~~~ till mummy wake me up~~~ hah~~~ i am late sia~~~~~

Banana caramel cake from coffee club express


Chocolate mint and ?? from coffee club express




we had our dinner at one of the pub at clarke quay~~~ erm~~ the food there is a bit -_-'' all i like is nachos cheese.. lol.. :P

of cos we drank ONLY a cup of liqour~~~ That is ....



haha~~ dun surprise~~ i dun really drink nowdays~~

27th Oct :

I had a celebration with my buddies they all~~ ok lah`~ i am really surprised~~ it had suddenly bcome quite a big gathering which i never had before~~ haha~~~ i had another cake again~~~

28th Oct :

I went back to office to clear my stuffs~~~

29th Oct :

Hahah`~~ back to genting again~~~ i was away for 3 days 2 nites~~~ lol... :P This time round i dun take photos le~~ haha~~ didn't really enjoy that much~~ during the trip~~ i recall abt my buddies~~ haha~~ i go with them was i dun want to play~~ bcos i timid lah~~~ then this time round is~~ everything cannot play~~~ haiz~~~ -_-''' then eat fastfood~~ go with brothers they all, we went to resturant to eat~~` hahah~~ a bit too extreme~~~

4 trips to Genting~~

1st time to genting was accompany mummy to go up and play~~ while i go there to relax.

2nd time was with my buddies they all~~ lol~~~ quite fun to be with them~~

3rd time was with my colleagues~~ omg~~~ we eat until very extravagant~~ we went to have ai yi abalone~~ bird nest egg tarts~~ yummy~~~

4rd time was with my aunt and cousins~~ haha~~ a lot of restriction~~~~

1st of Nov :

Came back sg on 31th of Oct~~ I leave Sg again on the next day but this time round is only a short trip~~ otherwise my daddy going to be very poor thing le~~~ I went to batam for spa and shopping spree~~ hehehee~~~ this was my first time been to batam and SPA~~ lol~~~ shiok~~ relieve stress~~ and my back dun feel painful le~~~ does it means that i need to go there often~~ We went for 3 hours spa package~~ haha~~~ know hw to enjoy life right?

After SPA~~ guess wat we have for lunch~~~ SEAFOOD~~~ my favourite~~ yummy~~ :P

Rice Bucket~~Free flow of Rice~~


Coconut Drink


Sambal Kang Kong


Cereal Prawns


Calamari


fish fish


Chilli Crab


Before :


After :


Scenery~~~







After tat~~ we head to the shopping centre opposite the ferry terminal~~

Nothing much over there~~ I bought a lot of instant noodle back~~ haha~~~ plus a bit of tibits~~ Actually wanted to bring back to office, ended up i finished up~~ lol.. :x

Yummy donuts~~~


haha~~ nice nice~~ i wants to try crispy creme leh~~~ my colleagues very nice wor~~ i tried before one donut fly from jakarta~~ but nt crispy creme~~tat one ok lah~~ not bad~~ all the way from jakarta leh~~~

I end my batam trip at



hehehe~~ i missed my root beer float~~ trying to persuade pple to go with me again~~ lol.. :x

electronic prayers?

Marriage

第三十九首　曹操遣禰衡投黃祖
天邊消息應難問　切莫私心強望求
若把石頭磨作鏡　精神枉費一時休

尚可結合，惟無前途，可再考慮。
靈籤之曰：本籤告之於弟子曰。若把石頭磨成鏡。精神枉費一時休之安靜守舊之象也。一切事宜皆在低潮中。宜小心。小心。如六畜之損。田畝之虧。宜拾舊圖新。適合時潮。方能振興起色。六甲生女亦不必氣餒。宜積德。修身為先。必有賴之。易言之。千般用計屆時皆空心守舊。不必強求者。


Career

第二十六首　桓溫得殷浩書
上下傳來事總虛　天邊接得一封書
書中許我功名事　直待終時亦是無

貧富有命，只好認命，安份方可。
靈籤之曰：是接目虛望之象。宜守舊待時者。不可聽信世人之言。宜自吾有主見。以智止謠。何必聽人之者。宜向神求之。神靈加護之時。必有轉機。因直待終時亦是無者。因此。守之。規謀之。待來日之計用之。易言之。求閒不聞。目下心煩。欲求名利。徒爾虛投者。

forturne
第二十八首　孟嘗君雞鳴度關
東方月上正嬋娟　頃刻雲遮月半邊
莫道圓時還又缺　須教缺處復重圓

速得皆得，不可猶豫，必有所獲。
靈籤之曰：本籤為月被雲遮之象。亦即是凡事。暫時且守舊。待時老。君汝之早年也。事事不遇之時。唯多年辛勤。終能入佳境。事事如意者。好景已迫眉睫。願君多行善。亦即是言積德。以迓天庥者。君之目前即是浮雲遮月不得疑惑。得待雲開自見明月時。

electronic prayers?

movies~~~

Erm~~ for the past few weeks~~ i watched a few movies~~~

1) halloween~~
2) lust Caution
3) Saw 4
4) Stardust
5) Balls of fury or dunno wat lah~~
6) Mr Woodpecker..

hahaa~~~~ speechless for all movies~~ guess i will prefer the last two movies~~~ i watched late nite movies for stardust and lust caution~~ yawning all the way~~ while stardust is like laughing all the way~~~

i met my buddies them at last sat~~ seriously i am afarid that i cannot get along well with his friend~~ but still ok lah~~ not too bad? we might be planning to go batam together? does it consider ok? erm~~ k always said me~~ u arh~~ always look on the floor as if they gt gold on it~~ haiz~~trying to overcome my shyness? hahaha.. guess my da jie going to puke~~ but that is the fact mah~~~ unless i took a bit of alcohol~~ haha~~

last sat~~ i went clubbing~~ omg~~~ the first time i met someone who i knoes there~~ i was stunned~~ actually at first i didn't even bother.. cos so dark inside.. who cares~~ haha~~ when i come out~~ he met me outside too~~ opps~~~ he called me~~ i was like so stunned~~~ i was like -_-''' hahaa.. we exchanged number~~ hahahaa.. he asked me a few questions.. hahaha~~ i told him~~ u are drunk~~ i very paiseh to meet him again sia~~~ luckily i never go back home with him together~~ -_-''' my buddies were like asking me who is him?? hw come u so friend friend with him~~ the problem is~~ i dun really know him very well~~ but we made a promise to each other~~ dun said that we met each other on that day~~ hahaa~~~ hopefully i will nt meet him tat fast again~~ hahaa~~ tat is not my fate right~~ hahaahahaa

a new job offers or another hole to jump in~~

Erm~~ i had never tot of going to ncs.. i just want to try my luck~~ nevertheless, i got into this company~~ should i jump or should i nt? this leave to bcome a mystery~~ going over there~~ i having a pay cut~~ where got pple jump le~~ pay cut de~~ but as career prospect wise~~ there will be a much more gd opportunity~~~ i might be going for oversea project~~ hahaa~~ During the interview, the interviewer asked me~~ Erm~~ are you ok with oversea project? I told her i am the only child therefore i can only go for a short while. She was like har~~

Points that i should not make it and pass the interview~~
1) I miss the first interview chance which is on my birthday at 8.30am~~ ( I left office at 4am, how to reach Yio Chu Kang at 8.30am)

2) I flunk the test very badly cos i dun feel like doing at all. I was so tired tat day cos i actually worked at hm till 3 plus~~ i force myself to wake up for the second chance of interview~

3) I rejected overseas attachment?

hahahaa.... hw i pass? i also dunno leh~~~ among the grp of 5, 3 of us went to try ncs~~~ 1 get in~~ the 2 choose NTUC~~~ As for NTUC, pay and benefits definitely better than my current or ncs~~ haiz~~ for my case~~ should i wait for better opportunity or ?? haiz~~~~

quiz

Erm~~~ hw true is that? Did i hurt anyone before.. erm~~ seems like i get hurt leh~~ haha..


又唔知有无人发过，如有雷同请见谅！

（测试开始）一般来说凭第一反应做比较准哦！记住啊！

Q1.当他温柔的看着你，你会说：　
A.你的眼睛大又圆→Q2 　　
B.你真好→Q3 　　　　
C.你踩到我的脚了！→Q3 　　　
D.你想什么呢？→Q2 　　　　　　

Q2.当你想念他的笑和他的吻的时候，你会　　　　
A.打电话给他→Q3 　　　　
B.一个人呆着，练习眨眼睛→Q4 　　　
C.找好朋友→Q5 　　　　
D.洗衣服→Q3 　　　　　　　　

Q3.喜欢听浪漫伤感情歌吗？　　　　
A.害怕听→Q4 　　　　
B.非常喜欢→Q4 　　　　
C.厌恶→Q5 　　　　
D.还好→Q6 　　　　　　　　

Q4.有种花的习惯吗？　　　　
A.没有→Q5 　　　　
B.有→Q5 　　　　
C.懒惰→Q6 　　　　
D.咱们看下一道题→Q6 　　　　　　

Q5.如果朋友送你一只狗，你会：　　　　
A.表面高兴，心里想这家伙害死我了！→Q6 　　　　
B.感到太幸福了，早就想要一只→Q7 　　　　
C.接受的时候就面露尴尬→Q8 　　　　
D.顺其自然→Q9 　　　　　　　　

Q6.如果男生跟你夸他自己的能力有多么强，他自己多么帅，
你会认为：　　　　
A.男人都这样→Q7 　　　　
B.他真无聊→Q8 　　　　
C.他挺有意思→Q7 　　　　
D.他喝多了→Q9 　　　　　　　　

Q7.你怎样处理以前情人留下来的东西？　　　
A.扔掉→Q8 　　　　
B.留着→Q9 　　　　
C.送回或送人→Q9 　　　
D.砸烂→Q8 　　　　　　　　

Q8.喜欢去麦当劳点什么样的东西？　　　　
A.套餐→Q9 　　　
B.单点→Q10 　　　　
C.一定要用优惠券→Q9 　　　　
D.不一定→Q11 　　　　　　　　

Q9.喜欢上网做什么？　　　　
A.查信或很简单的事情→Q10 　　　
B.写文章、灌水→Q11 　　　　
C.狂聊天→Q12 　　　　
D.不喜欢上网→Q11 　　　　　　　　

Q10.信用卡有多少张？　　　　
A.零→Q11 　　　　
B.一张到三张→Q12 　　　　
C.不知道→Q13 　　　　
D.很多吧→Q12 　　　　　　　　

Q11.怎样修理你的头发？　　　　
A.去小发廊→Q12 　　　　
B.自己动手→Q13 　　　　
C.我没有头发→Q12 　　　　
D.找个有品的发馆→Q13 　　　　　　　　

Q12.你的QQ需要身份验证吗？　　　　
A.当然→Q13 　　　　
B.不用→Q14 　　　　
C.你问哪个QQ?→Q15 　　　　
D.不一定或者没QQ，不使用QQ→Q13 　　　　　　　

Q13.有固定喜欢的明星偶像吗？　　　　
A.曾经→Q14 　　　　
B.有→Q14 　　　　
C.没有→Q15 　　　　
D.很难说清楚→Q16 　　　　　　　　

Q14.当一个人对你说爱你，想象一下你当时的表情会是：　　　　
A.傻笑→Q15 　　　　
B.惊讶→Q16 　　　　
C.无表情→Q15 　　　　
D.诧异→Q16 　　　　　　　　

Q15.去动物园的时候，请你选择以下你比较喜欢去做的事情：　　　
A.喂动物→Q16 　　　　
B.摸动物→Q17 　　　　
C.咬动物（如果动物园允许的话）→Q17 　　　　
D.吃动物（仅仅允许幻想）→Q16 　　　　　　　

Q16.你喜欢跟情人怎样相处？　　　　
A.拉着→Q17 　　　　
B.搂着→Q18 　　　　
C.压着→Q19 　　　　
D.未成年不宜→Q18 　　　　　　　　

Q17.累的时候喜欢：　　　　
A.睡觉→Q19 　　　　
B.洗澡→Q20 　　　　
C.被按摩→Q18 　　　　
D.其他→Q19 　　　　　　　

Q18.当你希望跟一个人一辈子在一起，你会选择以下：　　　　
A. 跟他说→A 　　　　
B. 等他说出来→Q19 　　　　
C.让他跟你说→Q20 　　　　
D.别的方式→Q19 　　　　　　　　

Q19.喜欢爱人跟你撒娇吗？　　　　
A.喜欢跟爱人撒娇→B 　　　　
B.还好吧，能接受→Q20 　　　　
C.笑，一般吧→B 　　　　
D.非常喜欢，觉得这样很可爱→Q20 　　　　　　　　

Q20.当爱人在你面前哭泣：　　　　
A.无奈，不是很喜欢→D 　　　
B.为难，不知道该怎么办→C 　　　　
C.哄他，但自己比较清醒→B
D.跟着心碎→A

A. 你的真心人就是那么一个，永永远远的那样一个。
从此以后，不论你再遇见谁，跟谁在一起，
你再也不会对其他人有以前那个人那样的上心。
人是很奇怪的东西，没有理由的相遇。
没有理由的萌生爱意。
也许爱一个人很简单，但是总想起的还是他好，
还是那个他没有任何毛病。在你心中永远完美。
就象《东京爱情故事》中的莉香，永远的微笑着，
成为一个美好的标志。 　　　　


B. 你的真心人是谁？你一生会有无数的爱人，
少则七八个，多则20多个。你自己都不知道谁是你的最爱。
也许有的人会被你记住，但记住不代表爱情。
你戏弄红尘嘲笑爱情，浪逐尘世，也被尘世、
爱情、红尘狠狠的报复、惩罚。应该说，这是你自找的。
你就象《东邪西毒》的西毒一样，
你渴望知道被人喜欢的感觉是这么样的，结果伤害了很多人。
现在，看到了这个测试结果，你是不是应该考虑来个结束呢？
是你回归单纯的时候了吧？ 　　　

erm~~ the above is my answer~ haha~~ mayb i can still remember him but in fact i dun like him le ba~~ hahahaaha
　

C. 你会有那么两个刻骨铭心的爱人，甚至是一段三角恋爱。
你最爱谁？恐怕你也不清楚，一个阶段一个想法。
这不是你的错误，更不是他们的错误。当然，也不是我的错误。
爱情这东西，公说公有理，婆说婆有理，
说来说去说得谁心里也没有底。
但愿你现在已经离开了那段乱七八糟的经历。
如果现在还没解脱的话，给你一个建议，他们两个谁都别跟随。
不够完美的爱情对谁都是一场折磨。不如从头开始。
虽然后来的爱人不再是那样的爱了，
但是象阳光一样温温的爱情有什么不好呢？ 　　　　 　　　　




D. 恐怕，你一生也没有最爱的人吧。因为你对自由的渴望，
因为你对你所追求的文化的。
和你这样的人组成家庭应该是很幸福的。
因为你能用超出一般的人的眼光来看待事物。
因为你太理性还是因为你太独特？
找到一个和你身心合璧的人也许真的太难了。
所以，恐怕是这样。但是，茫茫人海，
谁又能找到真正合适自己的那个人呢？

Happy Birthday Liming~~

Heheee.. thanks to all friends~~ i really love my birthday celebration.. nt as grand as having party at hotel nor anything that is happening~~ but i really enjoy my birthday a lot~~

hehee.. my gd friend.. give me a very big surprise~~ really shocked that she is going to be the first one to celebrate birhday with me~~ and the first place where i celebrate birthday~~ is at IRAS.. haiz~~ sad~~ but really very thankful for what she and her bf did for me~~ hahaa.. fulfill one of my wishes le~~ hahahaa... and she knows wat mind thinking ba~~ i wanted a swaroski crystal starfish~~ hahaa..but she gave me a very sweet heart and a cake~~ a memorable birthday at iras..

a few hours later~~ i had a small celebration in office~~ seriously i am quite surprised~~ to me~~ i think all of them forget my birthday le~~ hahaa.. dun even asked me wat i wants~~ hahaa.. sad :( but indeed i got a surprise after talking to my big boss.. my closest colleagues~~ they all purposely go down to PS to buy me a mango cake~~ hahaa.. which is my favourite~~ guess they know that due to my long hours of working life for these few weeks make me very shag~~ they bought me masks~~ nail arts~~ and hand lotion~~ hahaa.. nowadays am i really that shag~~ i just bought 6 pieces of mask from O2 during office bazzar~~ opss~~~~~

a few hours later~~ i went back home for a while~~ while waiting for da jie they all~~ hahaa.. i a bit knocked out le~~ i am very tired~~~ i knocked out at daddy's van~~ and overslept~~ till mummy wake me up~~ wei~~~ wake up le~~ hahaa.. can understand how shag am i nowadays~~~~ hahaa.. we walked ard clarke quay looking for a restaurant due to i am late~~~ oppss~~ really sorry~~ but that day i really very shag~~ maybe work nowadays giving me a lot of pressure~~ everyone pressing me very hard~~ here there a got a hole~~ and need to fill up the hole~~ one person need to help in maintaining production and i need to help out in development side also~~ although i am nt very strong in the area i am in now, i trying my best to maintain it~~ hopefully neither one side will collapse~~ although my peak is over, nowadays got a lot of bosses want this and want tat from em~~ makes me.. -_-''' But thanks to da jie they all.. hahaa.. they know i very shag~~ we left ard 1 plus~~ and i only drink one shot.. hahaa... with brothers they all.. i drink so much~~ but now.. ever since ms.. i had quit drinking le~~ hahaa.. believe? up to u all ba~~~

da jie said i dun really look happy on that day~~ hahaa. i dunno.. on the way back hm.. when i am alone in the cab~~ my mind is thinking of someone.. haha.. someone who never celebrate my birthday with me~~ he gave me a lot of empty promises.. or i force him to give me~~ hahaa.. he haven get out of my mind? haha.. i dunno.. just suddenly miss my mashi maro so much~~ hahaa.. i no longer will have it~~ just a call from u telling me happy birthday~~ i will feel so glad~~ or i lose my smile bcos of u.. haha.. or da jie can read my mind le~~~

tat day my primary school friend purposely call frm australia just to wish me happy birthday~~ hahaa.. really very surprised~~ i tot is who.. or those pple playing spam calls again~~ hahaa.. at a point of thinking.. i still tot is u.. hhehee.. guess i worked until i crazy le~~~ although is a simple greeting, i really very happy le~~ cos he never forget me even though he is at australia studying now~~ hahaa.. so sincere~~~~ :P i never even call to aust to wish him happy birthday~~ hahaa.. faster come back and let me bully ba~~~~

my fourth celebration was with my grp of buddies~~ hahaa.. indeed very screw up~ but i am nt very happy that my friend who had the same birthday keep pushing the blame to me~~ saying the poor organising skill.. WTH~~ he cannot do his part~~ the celebration is nt only meant for me~~~ yet i had to prepare everything~~ i also very busy~~ but i make an effort to maintain the friendship between everyone and keep the gathering.. what he do is wat.. ordering me to do things~ @#$@#$!@#@!@#!@!@!@! ATTITUDE~~ i didn't really want to entertain him that much~~ hahaa.. i keep playing with my grp of gd friends.. wahahaaa.. who cares~~ is a celebration of my birthday also~~ hahaa.. dun jealous lah~~ i am close with my buddies.. lol....

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal ??

Your Birthdate: October 26

You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena. Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top. You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate. Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success. Your strength: Your attention to detail Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes Your power color: Turquoise Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

Are You Immature?

Your Mood is a 1

You can't imagine really feeling worse than you do right now. You're definitely going through a rough time.

How Does Your Mood Rate?

He's So Over You, He Needs a New Word For "Over"

Girl, who do you think you're fooling? Your ex isn't play hard to get. He's playing, "Get the hell out of my life" So even if you still have feelings for him... It's time to say adios and find a new man

Is Your Ex Boyfriend Still Into You?

Your Love is Based on Commitment

You believe that love is something that develops and grows. You don't believe in love at first site, and you never mistake lust for love. For you, love is about mutual devotion, respect, and understanding. You don't feel comfortable in a relationship, unless you're both in it for the long run. Why your love can last: You don't take commitment lightly - or leave relationships easily Why your love can fail: You're so committed, you often can't see the most obvious problems in your relationship

What Is Your Love Based On?

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Weeks

You're out enough to meet plenty of guys And it shows, because a few are interested in you Even if you haven't meet the right guy yet He's standing just around the corner :-)

When Will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend?

Your Heart is Feeling Indifference

Your heart is pretty much on hiatus right now. You're not particularly interested in love, and you're cultivating a sort of romantic apathy. Whether you've been burned badly or you're just burned out, your heart is cold to passion. Deep down, your heart is susceptible to: A bit of cold heartedness Your current outlook on love: Detached and stoic - you try to analyze love from a logical perspective Your love life will improve if you: Open up a little. Stepping back can help you find peace with your emotions, but it can also make you repress them. Watch out for: Too much cynicism. Indifference can lead you down a dark path.

What Is Your Heart Feeling?

You Are a Champagne Woman

A true mystery, no one can quite figure you out... That is, until you start drinking. Then you tend to let loose. You're fun to drink with, but it definitely takes you a few drinks to loosen up. You prefer to date a man who likes the finer things in life... like a five star dinner with that champagne.

What Kind of Drinking Woman Are You?

Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer

For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that's not in guidebooks. You truly have wanderlust. When you're not traveling, you're dreaming about where you'll go next. And your travels are truly legendary - they leave you with stories you'll be telling for the rest of your life!

What's Your Travel Personality?

Your Job Satisfaction Level: 33%

Your job is definitely a bummer, and you probably should get a new one. Make sure you know what's getting you down. Is it your co-workers? The work environment? Your boss? Getting a new job is important, but so is not repeating the same mistakes.

Should You Get a New Job?

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal

You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing. You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere. And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile. You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about. You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid. Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen. Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else You really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quickly Your friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."

What Makes You a Good Friend?

scor & aries

Scorpio and Aries
When Aries and Scorpio come together in a love affair, it can be the kind of relationship where they both wonder how they ever managed apart. Both Signs love power and they can achieve just about anything -- as long as they learn to share the spotlight. Scorpio is very focused; once they set their sights on Aries, Aries is most likely powerless to resist! Scorpio has a deeper and more complex devotion to this relationship than does Aries.
These two Signs tend to engage in heavy, heated arguments. Their connection is highly passionate and often argumentative, because both partners have jealous tendencies. Scorpio tends to be more patient, but is also more possessive than Aries -- and can lash out (with that Scorpion sting!) when their feelings get hurt. Despite their differences in emotional involvement, both partners love risk and taking chances; this is not a boring relationship! Aries and Scorpio can have lots of adventures together. They may have trouble understanding one another -- Aries is a true extrovert, totally up-front and open, while Scorpio is more inward, emotional and, at times, manipulative. Sometimes a truce is necessary to keep things running smoothly!
Aries and Scorpio are both ruled by the Planet Mars (Passion), and Scorpio is also ruled by Pluto (Power). When two people with Mars's energy come together, it's like two soldiers on a battlefield -- they're either allies or deadly enemies. Mars also represents passion, so Aries and Scorpio tend to have an exciting time together (both in the bedroom and out of it!).
Arguments are normal in such a challenge-oriented couple -- and making up is definitely something to look forward to! Pluto adds extra intensity to this dynamic.

Scorpio and Aries
Part 2 of 2
Aries is a Fire Sign and Scorpio is a Water Sign. These two elements can be a great combination if they work together, combining emotion and physical action to get things done. Scorpio is a strategist, and can help Aries slow down and learn how to plan battles before jumping into them. Aries teaches Scorpio to let go and move on when their efforts are thwarted. However, Water can also put out a Fire, and Scorpio's tendency toward emotional manipulation has that effect on Aries -- it's too much Water dampening Aries's enthusiasm. Conversely, too much Fire makes Water evaporate away; when under emotional stress, Scorpio can become vindictive. It's essential for Aries and Scorpio to work together, not against one another.
Aries is a Cardinal Sign and Scorpio is a Fixed Sign. Aries can teach Scorpio about spontaneity -- doing things just for the experience, rather than always having an agenda in mind. Scorpio can help teach Aries to stabilize and finish things rather than always jumping into new projects without completing what's already on the table. When they can understand that they're both loyal and devoted to one another, they can both be the boss -- Aries as the initiator and Scorpio as the emotional leader.
What's the best aspect of the Aries-Scorpio relationship? The power of their combined forces. They're both winners and they won't give up, making theirs a relationship that never settles for second best.

sweet dreams~~

wahahaaa... :P

x-ray~~

hahaa~~ drag for so long~~ i finally went to see doctor and request to go for x-ray~~ when i see doctor~~ she asked me, "How long is your backache?". Erm~~ Starting from July onwards, hahaa.... july, august, sept and now OCTOBER~ i will send u for x-ray~ does your backache affecting your leg~~ erm~~ last week i did feel a sharp pain down my leg~~ but not long after tat, i went to see a doctor who i had been visiting for the past few months~ to be frank, not long before my peak period, he had already written a referral letter for me to go and see doctor for x-ray. But due to hectic work schedule, i choose not to go see doctor and ignore it~ As time passes, it hurt that badly.. plus mummy every nite got to help me apply medical oil~ haiz~~ time to know wat is going to be the outcome~~

tmd~~~ why this year i am damn unlucky~~ ear recovered~~ now back~~~ starting of the year, i went to changi hospital to see specialist~~~ now~~ need to go for x-ray~~ hopefully~~ it will not be very serious~~ just have to take some medicine.. or do physiotherapy.. the worst case is to admit to A&E immediately and do operation ASAP. BUT i dun think that will happen to me, my case is not that jialat yet~~ :)

STRESS

STRESS

STRESS

STRESS

Faith makes all things possible and love makes all things easy

Hahaa.. when i see the above title.. my hearts broke into pieces.. haha.. why? got dear ard le.. why still about a past tat cannot be turn back anymore..no excuses for me to tell myself why he left me without saying anything.. min arh min .. time to wake up le~~ dun drill on it anymore le~~ the more u drill on it~~ the more sad u will be again~~ do u want to land as wat u had tat day over at MS.. Till now... even your brothers and good friend know abt it~~ brothers asked u to forget it~~ dun let it conquer your mind le~~ Dear.. maybe we should end le~~ i really dunno wat i wants~~ i dun want to hurt another innocent person~~with i dunno wat i wants~~ i dun want to step into a relationship when i dun even know whether i love that person or not.. when my mind.. sometimes will think of a past tat i dun even want to think abt it~~ yet it hurts me deeply~~ i admit~~ i like to dependent on other pple a lot~~ especially when i am sad... i hope to have pple ard to comfort me~~ be with me~~ walk thru together~~ but when it comes love.. i am lose~~ maybe relationship isn't a game for me to step in~~

How's life have been for me??

Wahahaa.. Curious why i did not blog anything ever since my nite at ms? Wahaaha.. How's life been for me for the past few days or weeks? Ever since that nite at ms, i think i did a bit of dramatically change..

Hahaa.. why after that nite, i did a dramatically change? I also dunno, is time to change to grow up and be mature.. Stop being a kid.. i can only be a kid under table with my close buddies or friends~~

Cute Piggy that i got from PS Arcade.. hahaa.. i hook onto the game le~~ sadly i had to pay myself~~ wahahaa.. :P but my friend always very kind.. keep sharing with me the cost.. maybe i keep complaining i am very broke nowadays.. :P



Of cos the truth is i am really damn broke cos i got 13 birthdays before my next pay day~~ one month had so many birthdays~~ crazy~~ sob sob.. but i think i can save up for nanny de~~ cos i asked him wat he wants.. he never reply me.. guess he going to be on my ban list soon~~ u are the one who said.. must give present.. then -_-''' ATTITUDE~~~ i dislike this kind of ATTITUDE that u are showing lor~~ FINE~~!~!

A cupcake from office on tat day when my colleague's birthday aka da jie da birthday..



Erm.. how it taste like.. i dunno leh~~ cos i never ate it~~ but it should be the same as wat i ate lastime.. why? Bcos is the same company who produce this.. -_-''' just that this time round, they add in the logo..


Waraku De Pasta

Fattening~~ Cheesy~~ but YUMMY~~ Chicken dunno wat baked gratin..



Much more Healthy Choice.. The combine is unique~~ Salmon and Cheese



After dinner at Clarke Quay

I was damn late that day~~ niao niao waited me for quite sometime.. i am at office struggling with my work~~ After tat we went to da jie da birthday party... Is somewhere at clarke quay~~ but i dun reveal the place ba~~ didn't really drink on that nite... i saw da jie drinking flaming~~ wahaaha.. high sia~~ i will never got the guts to try that.. :P Hahaha.. but got one yandao over there leh~~ wow.. cool sia~~~ :P




A boring nite in office struggling

Of cos i ate my dinner in office.. in the meanwhile.. got a bit of enjoyment..

yummy~~ dark chocolate ice-cream~~ but nt very thick~~



omg~~ why i kept eating fattening stuffs~~

A relaxing friday

My gd friend came to pick me up from work~~ She brought me to a place at OASIS~~ Guess end of the year, OASIS going to close to make way for the new look of Stadium~ This is my first time having meal over there, the renovation is quite simple looks like those old times resturant~ omg~~ she kana fine again~~ Leisure park also renovate le~~

leftover vege



Is this shit? Nope.. is gong bao chicken~~ recommend by the waitress



Guess wat is this?? For ??



Kekekee.. For porridge.. wahahaha... refillable~~ once in a while having porridge is nt bad~~ my parents like porridge while i dun like it~~ guess i should bring them go there once before it closed down~~

We still order more dish.. stewed pork~~ but ended up both of us cannot finish the food.. After dinner we head down to cosy bay~~ wahaaha.. a favourite place where i also go.. if gt someone drives me in~~ but if u park at the carpark~~ u need to pay $5 wor~~ of cos she did an illegal parking.. after the lesson of paying for the carpark for $5..

On Saturday~~ My mom asked me to go tampines.. i a bit relunctant to go there.. maybe bcos i got a lot of enemies staying over there.... haha.. no lah.. is just bcos i want to avoid seeing him.. seriously, i dun even know would i react~~ just like wat brother said.. is time for you to let go le~~ maybe bcos that nite..they see me~~ -_-'''' is it bcos i am stubborn, tat's why i am still struggling with it? or bcos i am the loser? actually i should be satisfy with my current life le~~ Although dear not at my side, just a call away he will be there for me~~ while sometimes brothers they all will be there for me too~~ maybe jil also lah~~ sometimes will joke with me~~ friends are ard at my side~~~ lose one.. should be ok ba~~ but is the one who i opened up the most~~ haiz~~~~ really a good friend of mine.. i never tell so much of my problems to someone like this before... maybe second one is justin korkor.. but he also got a gap with me le~~ haiz~~~

On sunday.. work lor~~ work lor~~~

10th sept~~ guess wat i had for dinner.. avoid paying taxes... my colleague and i choose to have dinner under this kind of situation...

Bought a tori yaki rice set at Tangs



Kekee.. one of my favourite japanese food

Turkey Penne salad for $2.70 at Isetan Japanese Supermarket



yummy.. very nice~~ turkey very tender~~

Sushi set



wahaha... got my favourite salmon sushi~~ plus one ice lemon tea from Mac~~ Dun need to pay 17% of taxes~~ one person only like less than $10.. We sat down at Shaw centre to eat and chit chat~~ a kind of cheap and relaxing method.. :P

Tuesday~~ i went out to meet brothers~~ my good friend's birthday~~ but of cos i never celebrate with her~~ she is with her darling~~ of cos we had a wonderful nite tat day~~ cos i keep whacking brothers... We went to wisma food court to eat hokkien mee~~ Three of us ordered the same thing sia~~~ Then we went down to coffee club to have chit-chat session~~ avoid talking abt the previous incident~~ i throw the whole cup of sugar at one of my brother... haha.. :x opps... We ordered two earl grey vanilla and one mocha.. Brother dun like earl grey but why i like it so much~~ i think earl grey suit for girl more than guy~~ i told him that le~~ before i ordered.. but he dun believe.. :P Still got one more my favourite~~ muddy mud pie~~ wahahaa.. :P three of us share.. yummy~~~

Wednesday.. I had a steamboat dinner with friends at chong qing steamboat.. cheap cheap.. $15 only.. can choose up to four kinds of soup base.. but the varieties are limit~~ The service is good, aunties there are very friendly sia~~~ When u stepped in, u will have a kind of feeling u are having steamboat in China.. Cos most of the pple there are from China~~ got Chio bus there also sia~~

Thursday, one of my ex-colleague came over to novena and have lunch with us~ We ate pepper lunch~~ of cos i ordered my favourite.. salmon fried rice~~ yummy~~~ but come out with a smell of working in the kitchen~~ The only guai day that i had for the week~~ went back home to have dinneR~~ but daddy drive me to ikea to get chicken wings~~ wahaha.. pamper brat sia~~~

Friday, wahaha.. i went down to orchard to collect my colleague's birthday cake cum making contact lens. Surprise that i make contact lens after so many years~~ haaha... Within a few weeks, i changed damn much~~ went for facial lah.. go make contact lens lah~~ bcos of dear mah? hahaa.. no lah~~ just want to change of looks~~ is time to grow mature~~~ At nite, i met my friend's friend~~ she treated me for dinner~~ hahaa.. After that i went back to office to wait for my colleague~~ she was over there struggling~~ sometimes she also waited for me till very late~~ since i got nothing much to do~~ then wait for her lor~ After tat we went to NYDC for supper.. of cos i never eat anything lah.. (u believe mah?)

Potato skin with bacon and chicken yummy~~



Mushroom and Ham baked rice my favourite~~ but nt my supper lah~



Gold Mines

A dessert that is share between us~~ One cheese cake with one scoop of double chocolate chip ice cream.. and chocolate syrup beside it~~ yummy~~ much more nicer than the muddy mudpie~~ (recommended by my another colleague)



Saturday, i met brothers and my lao po for movie session~~ can u believe i am the last one to reach~~ i rushed up all the way to the movie theatre to find them`~ luckily brother was standing outside waiting for me~~ arbo i paiseh lah~~ walked alone~~ wahaha... :P when we go in.. movie just abt to start~~

Movie : Apartment 1303
Critics : ok lah~~ jump and jump lor~~ xiao didi beside me giving out a lot of noises~~ then brother beside me~~ keep trying to scare me~~ guess i numb liao~~ no feelings~~

After that we dun even know where to go~~ i trying to find present for gd friend~~ while i found a bag which i am looking for a long time.. there is a period of time, out of stock~~ Now it comes with a new colour~~ But i still stick to my old choice~~

Pic of my new bag

hehe.. very coincidently, my the other two friends also like the same bag~~ therefore i msg them at the same time~~ one of them asked me to help her buy~~ whaaha.. so happy~~ bcos i asked before the salesgirl whether when got new stocks coming in~~ they said not sure whether will have new stocks or not~~ yet u let me caught u at PS URS~~and i immediately bought it~~ forget abt my friend's present le~~whahaa.. :P Maybe i should start to believe in fate~~~ Then sunday morning, my the other colleague called me to wake me up~~ just to tell me that she saw the bag le~~ i told her i bought le~~ wahaha.. :P



After buying the bag for second time~~ They all queueing up at TCC.. Waiting for abt 15 mins .. still nobody come out~~ haiz~~ change destination to starbucks at Cathay~ sat there entertained them till ard 12.. took a cab down to meet my another gd friend~~ she been waiting for me since 10 plus~~ :P opps~~ i am terrible late le~~ haha.. She treated me hk cafe.. we chit chat till ard 3 plus am~~~ talking abt work~~ hahaha.. she thinks i go mature le~~ haha.. a lot of pple also think that~~ haha.. my mindset change le~~

Australia Trip

Hahaa.. At first planning to go Australia end of oct but now due to my cousin is going earilier.. which means early oct~~ but i dun think i will be going le~~ even though i want a break and auntie been asking us to go over~~ guess next time~~

This year feel like going out of singapore.. dunno why.. dun have the feeling to stay in singapore.. why arh? Did a crazy shopping spree last friday~~ i spent almost $100 for that nite.. haiz~~~

Birthday gifts~~ haha.. haven even buy da jie tou and my gd friend present~~ haha ... da jie tou~~ going to have a celebration wor~~ while my gd friend.. she take care of me when i am drunk and send me home~~ hahaa.. it seems like it had been very long time ago.. we had been that close again? erm.. ytd met up with her to collect someone birthday gift~~ hahaa.. First time i went bioskin for facial.. Super ex.. if i got money~~ i sure go for package.. damn.. why am i getting so spendrift~ if i changed job.. how to survive? i feel like going to study next year le~~ time to said bye bye to my freedom~~

Just now i met one guy at my house downstair.. very coincident~~ erm.. it had been abt 5 years le~~ i never contact with him le~~ during poly year one.. we still got chat using email or icq... hahaa.. i still remember he send me before his family pic~~ haha.. i also couldn't remember why he send me that.. hahaa.. we used to be quiet gd friend in sec.. but slowly we dun keep in touch.. he went to aus to study after his o level~~ and now is back... actually he is back for sometime.. just tat he never join our gathering~~ we chatted for a while~~ cos i dun even know wat to talked to him.. furthermore my parents are there also~~ but i am stunned to see him ard.. and he can recognise me~~ omg~~ but he bcome more yandao le~~ hahaa.. tat's was wat my parents said.. but i agree.. hahaaa.. guess my parents had seen almost all my sec buddy friends.. hahaaa....

a nite at ms

wahahaa... to be very frank, after i read nanny blog on friday.. a lot of things floating on my mind~~ i didn't even want to step out on sat.. suppose to meet my gd friends they all at queensway shopping centre but ended i fly aeroplane~~ as usual.. brother nag at me lah~~~ cos i let him be lightbulb~~ wahaha.. :P i met up with them at suntec ard 8 plus.. while the meeting time should be 7.30pm.. wahaha.. i am very late le~~ but someone is later than me~~ cos he attending his church servicing~~ Erm.. to everyone of us, we were very shocked that he had convert to christian~ No harmful meaning nor thoughts, is just that we know him for more than 10 years~ Even though last time yy gt invited him to church, he also dun feel anything.. now he suddenly converted, make all of us very stunned.. i know life isn't that easy for him when he was born, nobody can ask hw perfect life to be. I can't make any changes neither.. i heard his mum's story.. hw she broke up with his dad... and hw he see each time the girl he likes fall in love with another guy except him~ hw heartbroken he is each time he saw the girl he likes ended with someone else.. hw working life had been for him.. he had been keeping it quietly.. none of us can said whether the decision you had made is correct or not.. to me, i think is a way, u can try to let go of things that u had kept it in yourself... believe yourself u can make it.. kelvin, if u need a listening ear, just tell us ba, i believe we will be there for you.. but is only when u willing to open it up..

seriously, the 9 of us who had met up on last sat~~ had divided into 3 groups~~ 1 group talking abt bible~~ while another group talking abt--> i dunno.. while the third group will be brother, banana and i .. the four of us.. --> rubbish lah~~ still got wat.. plus planning a trip for my birthday~~ After dinner at suntec, we went to haagen daz at esplande, haiz~~ Actually brother ordered an ice-cream which i wants to order.. but i immediately change my mind~~ wahaha.. :P

After ice-cream session, i met up with my friends.. We went clubbing together with brothers~~ haha.. tat was a nite which i dun even want to remember anything~~ seriously that nite too many things happened.. guess they were very stunned see me tat drunk~~ Of cos they send me home with my good friend driving~~ luckily she was awake~~ plus ant is awake.. the rest all very drunk~~ especially me~~ haiz~~ after tat nite, i finally know.. my heart is still bleeding~~ time passes for 2 years and reaching 3 years le~~ i still can't let go of the past mah? and i being stubborn to hold on to it~~ i think tat nite i mumbled out everything~~ mum asked me to forget abt him~~ she said.. wat so good abt him~~ maybe he is the second one who treats me that good ba~~ or maybe the one for me haven appeared up ba~~ i dreamt of him last nite.. i was very happy in the dreamt~~ and in the dreamt i told myself.. he no longer suitable for me~~ wahaha.. i hopefully in reality, i can tell myself tat..

I haven explained why i feel that bad after reading nanny's blog.. of cos.. i know he is attached now.. i also understand that pple attached only have his gf in his mind~~ my mind was floating hw good nanny is towards me~~ in the middle of nite, drive to my house and pass me my resume~~ wahaha.. middle of nite, buying supper for me~~ hahaa.. is tat considered good? haha.. but now i dun have this kind of privilege le~~ now is only his gf got this kind of privilege~~ so envy sia~~haha~~ i thinking back a question~~ If i never met him before nanny, will i choose a different way? hahaa.. i dunno.. watever it is.. i dun wish to look back le~~~

dear had been msg me on that nite.. but till now i still haven tell him hw badly i was drunk on sat.. seriously i dunno.. i enjoy the feeling being pampered.. or maybe so called~~ i am very weak in heart~~ i wished to have someone to listen to me.. talked to me.. hear me complaining.. currently i should be consider as fortunate ba~~

sometimes i will complain to brother.. haha.. he asked me to quit my job.. i told him.. ya lah~~ i quit le~~ then your ears will be peaceful le~~ he said is ok for him~~ wahaha.. touch sia~~

hahaa.. i dunno wat my mind nor my heart thinking~~ guess i need sometime to clear my tots again~~ just like hw i clear my tots when i broke up with L.. After i broke up with L, i met him~~ he been there for me to dependent on for the past few years~~ yet without saying anything, he just leave me~~ maybe i couldn't find a reason why i should get out from the past~ or maybe i should said.. i haven found a reason why that's the end~~ or ? if u are reading this, i hope u to be frank to me~~ why all this happened.. why nt u tell me the truth.. stopped torturing my mind and my heart~~ do u know hw painful i am~~ hw many times i had complained to jil~~i can't take it anymore le~~~

sunday~~ suppose to meet friends.. but i vomited for one whole day~~ hw to go out~~ whole body dun even have the strength to go.... haha.. just msg my friends they all.. and said thank you to them~~~~ luckily.. my parents didn't really scold me~~ just asked me not to do that again~~~ guess they are ok with my friends.. cos they are glad that they send me home tat day~~ instead of throwing me at the street of ms~~~~ but i am so called black-listed by my friends who are supposed to meet them on sunday~~


of cos from this week onwards is my peak le~~ hahaa.. can i continue to stay on with my current job or switch job~~ will depend on this report ba~~ this report can determine a lot of pple pay~~ and a lot of stuff~~~ maybe numb myself by work is another way to sort out my tots.. wahahaa.. :P

9 bird days~~

hahaa.. never imagine i will have so many birthdays within the next three weeks~~tml, celebrating four of my buddies birthday~ tat already costing me a bomb le~~

sunday~~ another poly friend birthday~~ luckily nt i buy present de~~ cos no time plus no money~~~

actually nanny's birthday passed a few days ago~~ wahaaha.. see him so madly in love.. dun need to buy present also can le.. save money~~ whaha.. a bit envy sia~~~ haha.. when i told brother yy getting married soon ...he shoot me~~ u jealous arh~~i told him.. no lah.. just a bit envy~~ wahaha~~~ pple ard me all getting love and being loved.. while me.. still in the circle of love~~ haiz~~~guess love doesn't suit me~~

jil~~~birthday coming le~~ wahaha~~ should i get something for him~~ wahaha.. see hw first ba~~ a bit broke~~ :P

da jie da's birthday coming soon~~~ haiz~ another hole to be fill up~~~

my best friend's birthday on the 11th~~ opps.. again before pay day~~

2 colleagues birthday's coming on the 5th and 8th.. oppss..

a total of 11 birthdays for the next three weeks... omg~~~

Re: Fwd: Abt mE~!!!

An email dd in 2002~~~ hahahaa..... jil did it for me~~ haha.. dunno why when i am reading it, my tears start to roll down again~~ is it bcos i think of him again? i ended up in a dilenma situation again~~ i very scare the same thing will happen again~ i must tell myself~~ i must go thru this round, i will not make the same mistake tat i did 5 years ago~~ watever is the past, let it be the past. dun let it occur again~~ then min~~ u will once again collaspe down le~~ now hardly see u crying at nite~~ dun do tat le~~ jiefu~~ cannot always lend u a ear le~~ he everyday have to go prison to report~~ no freedom~~ only once a while~~ can sms take care of u wor~~ jil~~i miss the period when he is with me~~ but i know i can't hold on to it anymore~~

> >>>Hey, fill this out about me!!!! *BUT FIRST* Send a blank copy to
all of
> >>>your friends (including me) so they can fill it out about you!
Have
>Fun! >>>:) hahah~.. guess some of the questions are pretty lame,but do
tell
>me >>>how u really think abt me yah? hmm.. dont worry abt the answers,
i
>wont >>>take them to heart.. Thanks for playing along.. =) >>> >>> >DO
YOU
>THINK I'M: >>> >>> > > 1. Quiet or Loud?: loud
> >>> >>> > > 2. Short or Tall?: dunno.. normal i suppose since abt 160
> >>> >>> > > 3. Weird or Original?: got crispy? keke
> >>> >>> > > 4. Nice or Mean?: both
> >>> >>> > > 5. Friendly or Selfish?: friendly?
> >>> >>> > > 6. Normal or "Special"?: wad special?? :P
> >>> >>> > > 7. Smart or Stupid?: both.. keke
> >>> >>> > > 8. Boring or Fun?: fun~
> >>> >>> > > 9. Hater or Lover?: i dun love you.. but i think you love someone..keke
> >>> >>> > > 11. Player or Playlette?: huh huh?
> >>> >>> > > 12. Heartbreaker or heartbreaky?: heartbreaky? >>> >>>
>
>------------------------------------------------------- >>> >>> > >
JUST
>SOME QUESTIONS:

>>> >>> > > 1. What do u think I'll be when I grow up?: relations personal
> >>> >>> > 2. (a.) Do u think I'll get married?: arboh.. keke
> >>> >>> > > (b.) If u do ... Who do you think I'll marry?: ur hubbie loh.. keke
> >>> >>> > > 3. When is my birthday?: 26/10
>>> >>> > > 4. Who is my best >friend?: dunno.. maybe ******? :D (cannot be mention, is already in the past)
> >>> >>> > > 5. What song (if any) reminds u of me?: none that i can
>remember of
> >>> >>> > > 6. Do I remind u of any characters on TV?: i dun watch tv liao..
> >>> >>> > > 7. If u could rename me, what would my name be?: li min is nice enough :P
> >>> >>> > > 8. Have u ever had a dream about me?: dream of you? eh..
dun think so..
>>> >>> > > 9. If u could give me anything, what would it be?: a listening ear :)
> >>> >>> > > 10. If u could promise me anything, what would it be?: help
you find a bf
> >>> >>> > > 11. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?:
>stronger in the will..
> >>> >>> > >
-------------------------------------------------------
> >>> >>> > > PERSONALLY (FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX ONLY?!)

>>> >>> > > 1. Am I physically ugly, average,decent, good-looking, >>>beautiful,hot?:
heard you >average.. keke
> >>> >>> > > 2. Would u ever kiss me?: cannot.. someone will beat me..
> >>> >>> > > 3. Would u ever consider being my boy/girl friend?: eh.. refer
>to qn 2
> >>> >>> > > 4. Do u ever think about me off-line?: yah lah~ whether
you crying or not..
>>> >>> > > 5. If we spent a day together...where would we go and what would we >>> >do?: go arcade den i see you play para para or dance revolution.. keke
> >>> >>> > > 6. If u could describe me in one word, what would that
word >be?: girlish? :)
> >>> >>> > > 7. Do u or have u ever had a crush on me?: EH... yah..
maybe becoz ur character very similiar to my ex..
> >>> >>> > > 8. Would you go out with me as of right now?: can go
out.. but muz tell someone first :)
> >>> >>> > >
>
-------------------------------------------------------
> >>> >>> > > JUST SOME QUESTIONS

>>> >>> > > 1. Do u wish we were closer?: >er.. dunno :P
> >>> >>> > > 2. What's your favorite thing about me?: ur character
> >>> >>> > > 3. State here your completely honest opinion of me?: wah, "very noisy leh" keke.. :X
> >>> >>> > > 4.If you were to think about me,wad would be the first thing
>that >>>comes >to mind about me? you crying.. :/

the most shocking news for the day~~

wow~~ my good friend's bf propose to her le~~ and she is getting married next year~~ really shocking.. but at least brighter my day a bit.. damn pissed off when i am in office today.. and i just walked off after 6.30pm.. even though i never finished 8.5 hours..i dun care.. just walked off..without replying my boss email also~~
who cares le~~ damn pissed off over there le~~

upc0m|ng event~~

Erm..... Upcoming should quite packed~~ my poly friends complaining.. abt this weekend~~ saying i dao arh~~~ ok lah~~ this shall be wat my schedule to be like for the next few weeks~~ `


20-21th of Aug : should be stuck at office but will be back for dinner at home.. cos now a bit VERY BROKE~~~ might be meeting niao niao to get presents~~~

22th : had a date with insurance agent~~ postpone it from last wk to this wk.

23th : erm.. might go facial with a friend~~ wahahaa.. she said should relax le~~

24th : Colleagues jio me go ktv.. should i go? a bit broke leh~~but waiting for da jie da.. i want to pass her some stuffs.. plus she also scolding me.. said i always jio her out but in the end never go out~~~

25th : omg~~~ weekend~~ yy, are we going out for dinner to celebrate for the birthday boys?? erm.. 4 for that side~~ sob sob.. i am so broke~~ brothers they all planning to go celebrate on that day also.. haiz~!~! i might be going m'sia with mum for a while to get some stuffs~~ cos she need it~~ so when i come back at nite.. might be going clubbing.. although i went last week...

26th : friend's birthday~~ had a gathering.. omg~~~

27th - 31th : prepare for battle le~~~ battle going to start at 1st of sept.. sob sob.. think i really going to become panda soon le~~~ so long never meet up with justin korkor.. miss a bit of nagging from him~~ but if he saw me now.. guess he will said i gone case..

1th sept : battle starts le~~ need to be on standby for most of the time~~ provide phone support.. tat doesn't mean my life going to quiet at this moment~~ maybe see da jie da... hw she wants to celebrate her birthday ba~~ if she wants to treat me drinking session~~ i also dun mind.. wahahaha.. can de-stress le.. :P

2nd of sept : is time to rest~~ since last week, i had been almost reaching home late.. and everyday take cab~~~ i need some sleep~~~

3rd-7th : Another highest peak le~~ guess tat time, my boss will keep target me if i haven down yet.. kana radar scan le~~~~

8th - 12th : need to work 24 hrs le~ haiz~~~ sob sob.. panda le~~~

actually should be 12th till all the way to 19th tat week.. i will still pack with work.. cos boss rejected my leave on 17-18.. desperately change my leave to half day.. and finally approved.. But we cancelled the chalet le.. maybe i will take half day off to take a rest.. plus keep a look out on new job~~

As for that week, is one of my gd friend birthday.. wondering whether she will do wat to celebrate her birthday.. will i be on her list of invited guest.. we shall see~~

Therefore my peak should end in last week of sept ba~~~ Brother tat day scold me greedy~~ want to go here.. want to go there to celebrate my birthday~~ ask niao niao to get me a chalet at phuket to celebrate my birthday~~ haha.. :P and in the same time ask him to get a chalet to celebrate my birthday~~ lol... u want to celebrate in singapore or phucket~~ if got both, then i celebrate at phucket, win celebrate in singapore.. then use video conferencing to connect right.. hahaa.. i was laughing like mad.. lol.. :p tat's a good idea~~ i said if dun have both of them~~ then we go bali lah`~~ they scold me siao`~~ " WHO WANTS TO GO PA TOH WITH U THEREE~!~! MOST OF THEM ARE COUPLES LOR~!~! -_-'' sob sob.. but tat day.. i told them abt someone.. hahaa.. maybe i will spend my birthday with someone leh.. tat will depend on hw everything goes~~ if i can't get my chalet and my phuket~~ last choice is to be with him~~ why he is the last choice leh~~ erm.. dun want to stuck with him.. if stuck with him le~~ then both of us also very jialat~~ lol.. :P see hw ba~~ i dunno how long it will last~~ hw bad it will turns out to be~~ currently i think i still contented with my life ba~~~ although i lose someone, maybe i still gain something leh~~ three good friends~~ now only left with one jil le~~ ok lah~~ jil still treats me nt too bad~~ sometimes we need to keep a distance also.. cos he gt girl girl de.. dun want to cause any misunderstand.. guess overall these few years~~ i had learnt my lesson le ba~~ dun stay too close with those guys that gt gfs~~

ytd my friend met his ex-gf with another guy while we went to watch fireworks~~ erm.. i wondering.. why can't i meet up with him once~ or i had forgotten hw he looks like or maybe he had walk pass me before yet he never called me.. maybe he let me saw that scene, i will know where my feelings stand.. sometimes i wondering whether my feelings had fade away or i bottle up inside myself.. when i saw nanny and his gf, i ok le~~ dun feel anything~~ just angry with him tat he never reply my msg when i am down~~ haiz~~ this year nanny won't celebrate my birthday le~~ cos he got gf le, dun need me this friend le~~ if i see k.... with his gf or his wife.. would be heartbroken and just cried~~ just one sentence, "i am fine" i am down with 4 shots~~ msg my brother.. tell him i am sad~~ i kana ditched~~ i think i really gone case le..

Attention : Chalet at Sept

Erm.. brother got a chalet in sept.. most likely confirm le.. hahaaa.. but my leave got rejected.. yy.. u let me know whether u can go mah.. :)


On 17/8/07
opps.. we had cancelled it~~ my leave nt going to approve on the 17-18th of sept.. cos currently still my peak period.. Therefore brother said cancelled ba~~~ he will try again in Oct~~ hahaaaa..

If it is in oct, i will pay for the chalet~~ then u guys bring the food ba~~ Erm.. otherwise we will have a trip~~ to celebrate my birthday~~ wahaahahaa.. sweet sia~~ right~~~`!~! After my phone incident.. i complained to so many pple... then i also asked brother for birthday present. hahaa a bit too early liao right~~!! he said N95~!~!~! tmd.. like jil pattern sia~~!!~!!~ if i didn't remember wrongly, jil said that on one of my birthday also.. haiz~~~ why the pple ard me all like that.. whahaaa.. but ok lah... nw i still enjoying except EVERYDAY WORK OT UNTIL MIDNIGHT~!!~!~!~ !~#!@#@@$!@@$@$@@@!!@#1

my c0mplicat3d lif3

super jialat.. after my supper with my buddies.. i did not sleep till now.. haiz~~ can ton nite le.. guess must get some rest.. before i start to work again~~

N73 incident~~

Erm.. Bcos of one phone.. i am damn fed up with one of my colleague. I am thinking WTH~!~ what phone am i using is also none of your business.. Dun tell me bcos i am working there.. tat's why i can't buy things i like. Pls lor~~ i had been considering it,since long time ago. Although i knows is expensive, yet i still can buy it. This is an act of extravagant. Normally the value of the phone will drop very fast, why do you need to buy such an expensive one. To me, i always think my cousins are much more mature than me. They can differentiate what is NEEDS and WANTS~ This is very impt in life. IF you can't differentiate what you wants and what you needs.. You might be just leading an empty shell with no soul cos you haven found exactly wat you wants.. You just lead a life because you had to.. NOT bcos u had a choice to choose.. This is what my boss told me during a handover session from a colleague who coach me when i am having difficulties. Now she had requested to be in another team, while i had to take over her stuffs. Seriously i know is going to be a big challenge for me. I no longer only face internal user, i might need to face external parties questions and bcome the front end support. Normally i will only need to answer to internal users, my job is just to sit down and relax to find a solution for the problem. If can't finish it, just delay.. User dun really will pressurize you. But now the company had changed, every week you had to finish 2 incidents. Sometimes to me is impossible, maybe bcos i dun feel to do it.. i got no motivation to push me.. only at the very last min, i will rush thru.. But i know i had improved.. from someone who i dunno to do anything.. to someone can do it.. just have to give me some more time to prove that i can make it.. Boss just said i dun have the confident~~ but give me sometime ba... i really scare i will give wrong information.. then i might just ruin my company reputation.. As when u grows up, you need to have the responsible for work.. Cos sometime just one small mistake, you might be just creating a big problem.. You might not be the only to be affect, there a lot of pple down the stream to be impact.. I wanted to tell boss i can't take over her stuffs.. The only answer boss gave to me.. : "Can i said no to my director?" Haiz~~ i had no choice given at all, just to accept it.. Whether i can make it or not.. Just give them to judge me ba~~ Whether will i be given a chance to renew my contract or tat's the end of my service~~ in a few more mths time, i will know the answer le..

As for health~~ This year nothing seems to be smooth for me~~ Starting of the year bcos of ear problem.. I went to changi hospital to see specialist.. While these few months, my back become a big problem for me~~ Even my doctor in charge suggest me to go for x-ray. He even wrote a reference letter for me~~ I had been complaining to one of my colleague regarding it.. She said.. "Aiyah~~ maybe you quit le.. your back will be ok le~~" I wondering is it bcos of stress that leading to my back to be that serious.. But currently i am quite busy with work and my life~~ dun think i can settle down to make an appointment to go for x-ray.. how will it turn out to be~~ seriously i just dun want to think abt it~~ mum scared might bcos of nerver problem tat causing it to become so serious.. but my doctor said is of inflammation.. watever~~ i had to cut down on vigourous exercise cos i afraid i might not be able to walk next time.. haha.. too permissive le.. I know how bad my back can go to an extreme where i can't even move at all and just lay at the bed.. But it feels painful also...

I met nanny last weekend.. I saw him and his gf, while i went out with my two gay friends~ A bit really surprised.. Luckily he never saw what happened before that.. But i will not reveal what is it~~ hahaa.. Nanny.. dun need to guess le.. Neither of them are my bfs~~ I said before i got a lot of close guy friends.. doesn't mean that i go out with them, they must be my bf arh~~ we are just close buddies~~ of cos my gay friends will ask who is he lah~~ a normal reaction cos they a bit kpo.. mayb bcos i seldom talked abt my own personal life ba~~ Maybe i am just being very petty ba~~ i hate nanny from the moment when.... Ever since he got a gf.. we did not meet up anymore~~ we seldom keep in contact.. i did got ask him out for a few times but got rejected bcos he need to accompany his gf.. seriously.. for me is ok.. i am not angry bcos of that.. cos i know is normal.. when a guy gt gf or a woman gt bf, their partners will be always the priorty instead of friends.. There was a day.. so called i am itchy fingers.. I msn someone who i know i shouldn't.. But the answer i got was hurting~~ Actually is not consider as hurting.. just that i feel is hurting.. When someone said he is good with his life.. why should it be hurting.. you should be happy for him.. But i just dunno why tears just roll off.. maybe i stop giving myself excuses.. he left me is bcos of illness or etc.. . finding an excuses and not facing the truth.. seriously.. tat day i am down.. i went drinking with my gd friends.. neither did i cry.. i listen to my friend complaining abt her bf~~ i dunno why.. is it bcos i am being strong.. tat i dun cried in front of my buddies~~ but when i am walking back to home.. i cried.. tears just roll off.. my heart feel so painful.. i walking aimlessly.. i dunno who should i find.. seems like i bcome friendless sia~~ i sms nanny.. but seriously i just hate tat kind of attitude.. ever since that day... i never msg him.. even block him on msn.. haha.. childish hor.. but seriously.. when u are down... watever thing.. u just dun care le~~~ i called mao mao~~ i cried le~~ Mao mao told me.. girl~~ u still got hw many years to waste~~ dun hold on to a past tat doesn't belong to you... His gf also said that to me~~ maybe without them tat nite.. i dun even know where i am going to hide my feelings~~ So that day i being very frank, i told nanny.. is so conincident to see you here but is my unlucky day to meet you. NEXT TIME, DUN CALL ME EVEN U SEE ME~~ WE NO LONGER FRIENDS~~~ am i being too frank~~ just cut short my friend list with another name... sad.. min arh~~ your friends really getting lesser le lah~~~ pretend is only in front of work.. not in front of friends.. if in front of your friends.. u still need to act or wear a mask~~ dun u feel tired.. everyday u had to wear a mask.. when can u be yourself..

as for home~~~ tat day i had a dream~~~ i dreamt of my granny.. i told k before.. if i am going to lose her.. means tat will be the day i collaspe.. when i am very young.. she tends to stay at my house during weekend... every weekend morning.. she will go down and buy food for me where a lot of pple also knows that~~ but i will wake up very late~~ when food bcome cold.. i will throw temper and dun want to eat~~ as time passes.. i slowly change le.. where my family members think that i had grown up le.. knows hw to take care of the family.. .think of other pple.. When u are the single child, you will tends to think abt your future.. I must grow up bcos they need me to take care of them.. i must be strong.. just like wat i did during my grandpa funeral.. i told myself i cannot cried... i had to take care of my dad.. but every nite, i hide inside my room and cried~~ i also very emotional.. who can lends me a shoulder to cry on? At the very last day of the funeral.. tears did not flows down as normal.. is only when i push myself to think back the past.. my tears rolled down le.. in the end, i still need daddy to comfort me~~ but ended up.. office bcome a place where i cried~~

Grandpa~~ He died last year april due to cancer~~ When i am not even one year old, i moved this place where i called home.. When i am young, i tends to be very close with him~~ When i am in primary school, he will be the one picking me up at downstair, bring me to ah-ma's house for dinner.. on friday, he will bring me along to fetch my cousins to come over to stay.. when i am sick, he will bring me to see doctor.. Sometimes during weekend, he will bring us out.. maybe a swim at downtown east or tanjong rhu.. When i am in primary four.. ah ma fell down, had to stay at mt alexandra.. tat day i accompanied ah gong at hospital till late nite then i went back to ah ma's house.. can't deny... i am very happy during cny every year when i am young.. cos ah gong will always give each of us $100.. Maybe bcos of this kind of lifestyle.. lastime looks much more slimmer.. cos go exercise everytime.. sometimes even play soccer with my cousins at void deck.. during sec school, when i forget to bring money or dun have enuff money, i will go market ask him for money.. haha.. he always give me more than enuff.. The day before he died, i went to hospital with parents to visit him.. bcos ever since the chinese new eve dinner.. i had not seen him.. Tat day, i am very sick.. down with cough, flu, sore throat and fever.. Furthermore the day before, i met yy they all for steamboat at marina bay~~ That was the lastime i went there.. I still can remember vividly.. cos i spolit a chair over there.. i dunno why the chair just cracked~~ then i feel so paiseh~~ The day i saw him, was much more worst than cny's eve.. at the moment, i am the only grandchild there..most of my uncles and aunties were there except my second uncle.. Being too sick of me, i do not want to stay at the ward for too long.. i went in and out.. bcos myside was already a germ carrier... He can't even move tat much.. After i left hospital, i met up with bulldog, win, ant and sy.. We went fish & co... and we left for pool session~~ tat was when ant told me he and his gf problem~~ the next day when i wake up.. mum told me abt it~~ she told me that my dad cried when he heard the news~~ my grandpa was choke to death bcos of a cake.. The nurse should knows that he cannot eat that.. I dunno whether is it a relieve to him or etc...... When i reached there, they were not back from hospital.. Granny just sitting there mumbling.. "Why he just leave like this.. ytd when we saw him.. he was still ok... " crying.. Seriously.. when someone had be with you more than 50 years~~ where love had bcome habit.. where someone will hold your hands when both of u are out for dinner with a group of your children and grandchildren.. He will cook for you when you are busy.. He will be there for you when you need him to be there. He might not be a prefect husband nor father nor grandpa.. He will have his own good points too~~ After he left, i seldom go to granny's house le.. Maybe only cny ba.. this year i didn't even attend any family dinner~~ when it happened to have a family dinner.. most likely, i will be on a trip..

as for my cousin~~ Min lives in this world for 23 years.. She only met her cousin twice in her lifetime.. I went to Australia in 1994 with my uncle, auntie, cousin, grandma,mum and me~~ We took SIA flight and reached perth 2plus in the morning~ We got checked in to Perth international Hotel. Ard 5 plus in the morning, mum waked up all of us which bcos she tot we were late for the iternery. There was day where aunt brought all the adults to casino, while only left the four of us. He brought us to zoo, curtin uni(where he studies), rent vcd.. While he explaining abt his uni directory.. i am sleeping inside the car.. He got dangerous driving skill sia~~ but it was fun~~ only just the four of us.. Tat time his sis was not that quiet as now.. We rent a nun movie.. not to mention.. i fell asleep halfway thru the movie.. even though is a comedy movie.. The next day morning.. He taught me how to play tennis.. Tat was the first time and also the last time i touched tennis.. He said.. aiyo.. luckily u never spolit the pot of flowers.. Before i left aus, aunt tell mum.. Erm.. nextime can let her come alone mah.. i will come here to fetch her.. Min won't deny.. They had been very concern abt me since i am young.. They dotes me a lot... maybe this made me to change to focus on family.. The second time i saw korkor.. .was the last time le.. that time he was very sick le.. but just trying his best to accomdate us.. after dinner still offered me ice-cream.. cos he said i am still too young to drink wine~~ He said only above 30 yrs old women knows hw to appreciate red wine~~ tat's why i can only eat ice-cream.. not long after the dinner, he went to bed le... 1 year later.. his condition got worst.. he just passed away.. at tat time none of us were in aus.. i didn't send him for his last journey.. i kept my tears away at home.. I knew the news on sat morning where i still need to go back to cartel to work in the evening time.. actually i dun really feel like working tat day.. i told k in the morning.. he didn't said much tat morning.. just kept very slient regarding this matter.. didn't want to make any comments.. I suppose to end work at 11pm.. But i tot the duty went haywire again.. Therefore i worked till 12 plus or 1am.. I went down to selegie to meet da jie da and niao niao for drinking session.. I had an empty stomach before i drink.. After that we went to mr bean for supper.. Tat nite i suppose to meet up with nanny they all. But i did not turn up.. After i had my supper.. i took a cab home.. nanny found me.. hahaa.. comedy sia~~ that nite he saw was the day nite i got drunk where my heart breaks into pieces.. i went back to vomit out.. and took a bath before i sleep.. After he passed away.. i told myself.. i had to grow up and give k up.. to take care the family.. i will be there whenever my cousin needs me...

3 years later.. will i go back to aus.. if i really go.. i will go for a long break~~ maybe just like my primary school friend.. when she leave sg.. she will leave for one month.. and sliently.. only at the point she wants to departure.. then she will call you.. telling you that she is at the airport. haha.. of cos at family side point of view... they will wants me to go over.. but.. it shall depends on my leave.. i admitted my work took away a lot of my time.. i seldom spent time with family nowadays.. most of the time will be sleeping thru weekend or had to work..

as for relationship.. dear.. thanks for your trusts toward me..

Cherish

Cherish watever you had, don't wait until u lose it then you regret. Guess that was what i always put in my ICQ lastime. It had been so long that i tried using ICQ again.

Once upon a time.. oh my god~~ my old grandma story coming again~~ my cousin told me before i will had two relationship in this life. Haha.. How many relationship i had walked thru? Seriously i dunno, maybe i dunno how to love someone or so called i dunno wat is relationship ba. But i did had two relationship or so called friendship or more that makes me hard to forget.

Actually i didn't take a very long time to forget my first love.. Erm.. Is tat my first love, well i dunno.. Am i complicated.. Guess is confusing ba.. Thing don't work well for both of us, maybe bcos i am just being too posseive le ba.. Tat's wat scorpion do mah.. cannot blame me right..

After we broke up,i so called know le jiefu they all.. Things been great.. Seriously i am just a affectionate animal.. That time no matter i quarrel or argue with friends, ending friendship. I cried like mad. That include korkor. Hahaha.. Who this korkor i refering to?? Sometimes i think i treat most of my guy friends become korkor le..

This korkor very unique de, i know him since my secondary school life. I had a very close primary school friend. He used to like my this friend but bcos of some stuffs they turned to become sour. Korkor used to come to sec school find me. Sometimes i used to afraid of wat other pple said. We will walk behind to kallang aiport there. Hahaa.. Just like what he said, why you care so much about what people talked or think about you. Guess that's me in the past but currently i am still behaving like this maybe slightly better le ba.. Can't deny, we did had numerous quarrelled. Sometimes he will be there for me when i need him. He will give me some surprises that i had never had before. Where got a friend so good? He will be there for you most of the time? During my O level, i did had some family problems. He was the one walking together with me, encourage me and force me to study hard. We been very gd friends since sec school but ever since both of us entered poly. Maybe time can changed a person. Both of us, no longer that close le. Especially after that quarrelled. He leave 10 voicemail on my hp scolding me. I couldn't remember what incident it was. Maybe bcos of i was throwing da xiao jie temper again ba. That was the night that i know K. Wrong.. I should rephrase it as that was the night when i start to talk to k on phone.

I was very down at the moment when i heard korkor scolding me. Of cos on the other side of the phone was someone being very slient hearing me weeping. Whereas that was when he told me that he very scared girl weeping. Slowly we bcome gd friends, but i seldom cried weeping at the other end le. But i turned to jil for weeping session. But as time passes, my xiao jie temper was revealed out. I started to be very dependent on this person. Most of the time, he been waiting for me. Till a day he said, we will not go out together le cos u always late. Haha.. Till now i still haven't change this habit yet. He was the first guy that i intro him to korkor. Of cos korkor knows wat was happening between me and him. We were just friends only mah. Why do i think until so complex? Min arh, your mind should works in a much more simplify manner. Can't deny having jil, xuer and him together for about 3 years.. I feel very fortunate le. Nothing can compare with the kind of care and concern they shower me plus they helped that provided to me. Those times was when i am so fortunate. Someone will care for me, no matter where i am.

Soon, three years passed.. I went to australia for some personal reason. Before i left singapore, we had some quarrelled too. I tot maybe giving up whatever at that point of moment can helped me to grow up and start to take care of the family. Guess i watched too much of drama le. At the point of moment, i sat alone at CA1. A place where i always went there with my buddies. I cried out all my sorrows. At hm, i had to hide away the tears and sorrow that i felt at the moment. After crying, i sat at the cafe opening out at my lecture notes whereas my brain was empty at the moment. Nothing went in, the only thing that i did was.. I sent a msg to k.. "Let's not contact anymore" I told myself at that moment, i will not turn back. I must give up, he doesn't belong to me. He called me but i hanged up the phone. Guess from that moment, things had changed between us. Korkor also used to receive this kind of msg from me. I really behaving like a kid sia~

Two wks later, i did change my mind. I picked up the phone and called him cos i start to regret. Did i hurt him that time? I don't know cos i dunno hw he feels. He kept everything to himself. He always make the decision then he let me know it. Maybe at tat point of time, i should know it. Before leaving sg, i told a friend. I scared i won't get used to it cos i am leaving for a week. I already getting used to have someone talk to me at nite. Be there for me anytime, just a call away. I really didn't had that wk very well. I met turbulence on my journey to aus, i tried to call him. He never picked up the phone and i even wrote him an email. How stupid am i? I know le, i can't lose this guy cos he had bcome part of life le. In the end, i lose him and we had not been contact ever since the last day at poly.

We had an agreement we will graduate together but ended up we did not. Maybe he very unlucky cos he met me. If he did nt know me, guess he might had graduate at the same time as me. Seriously i really feel very gulity towards him. Mayb that is why i always have the tot of giving him up. Min arh min arh, are u trying to find excuses or hiding away from the truth. The truth is he don't want u. Why u still so foolish weeping for so many years..

Hahah.. i dunno is that right or is that wrong... On the day of my graduation,i wanted to msg him so much. But did i msg him or not, erm.. i can't really remember le. Tat day korkor find me for ktv session, that day when i am alone in the room, my tears dropped le. I was hiding away from korkor, i dun want to let him see that i am weeping. Actually whenever korkor mentioning abt him, my heart did feel painful. Sometimes tear will just roll. Although nt a lot of pple met him before, yet most of the pple knows he was with me once. I should clarify it. Is I am the one thinking of it. Therefore is one sided love only ba. He is just being a kind person letting me to rely on him for that three years. Whatever he did to me or help me not bcos of he likes me. Is bcos of sympathy.

So fast, another two years passed... Within these two years, i don't know hw my feelings were. Most of the time i thinking of drinking which let my si tang to think that i had bcome jiu gui. Actually been wanted to drink to forget all these stuffs, let everything to become the end.

one was someone who i knows for 10 years brother.. Someone who will be there for me last time.. As time passed, friendship no longer that strong. why? maybe bcos of my self-concusious again ba.. or been busy with worked.. i seldom met him now.. we seldom chat abt our problems again. He will always ask me to go find a man to take care of me.

another one was someone who i knows for about 6 years or lesser.. four of us used to play game together online. I missed those times~~but it will not come back anymore.. four of us had all walked a different direction. East, North, South, West.. Guess we will all not appearing in each other life again cos all the directions are different. Thanks for giving that 3 years of xin fu.. tat time i know wat is laughter and not pain..

today morning i came back home at 6 plus. I saw korkor and him online. Imagine i drunk 4 flaming tequlia plus 1 orange chocolate shot and one jug of ultimate tequlia sharing with 2 other buddies did not let me do stupid stuffs again. Last nite, we went for drinking session just the three of us. Someone helped me to drink one more flaming tequlia,otherwise i might just landed at clarke quay instead of home. Back to the main point, i did not msn him nor korkor. I just changed my nick. Hahaa.. seriously my head is bombing.. so painful..but i also realised i no longer feel that painful anymore.. i starting to let go of him.. Seriously two of my si tang asked me.. why my msn nick always so long.. Tell u the truth ba.. i always had a kind of children thinking which is like everyone knws also.. I actually wanted to know whether does he still care abt me mah? I waiting for him to shower me with care again. But last nite, though i drunk so much, my mind also wake up le.. even he really shower me with care, everything will be different le.. Now he might be someone's else husband or bf or daddy le.. I will never know bcos we had nvr keep in touch for the past few years.

Wow.. finally wrote everything out.. hopefully i can end this beatiful misunderstanding with a good ending ba.. let go ba~~ let go ba~~ let go ba~~

AND let me had a BRAND NEW LIFE~~~ opps~~ dun mean abt relationship.. How me and dear.. will dear get provoked when he read this blog~~ hahaa.. Dear.. u should also find a brand new gf~~~