hahaa.. guess i create this post is bcos of NANNY.... erm... although the day before had a quarrelled with nanny.. BUT he did a kind deed for me... by helping me to lie to my parents and helped me to call home.. and tell my parents, i am catching a movie which will end at 2am.. Thanks nanny... for tat... hai~~~~ maybe should have understand tat u miss your gf.. tat's why u throw your temper at me.. but i dun like to vent anger at me.. GUESS U SHOULD KNOW TAT RIGHT!!!!!!!!! hai~~~~~~~~ sometimes i think tat nanny is GOOD but there are times he is VERY EVIL!!! or maybe i dun know this person well.. or so called i dun understand anyone who is ard me including myself...

today went out in the night time to meet a friend... instead joining a gathering at a friend's house.. guess i rejected my this friend for quite sometime due to my hectic working schedule nowadays... therefore there is no excuces for me to reject it again... i joined her for dinner and only when i joined her.. she will call along her other friends too.. met 1 girl and 1 guy.. while the girl left after introducing ourselves.. hahaa.. the guy is a bit weird... omg... hope tat he dun see this... anyway i meeting them next week for movie but do u think i can make it?? HAHA.. i might nt be able.. lol.. :P depend whether my boss allows me to go home tat early.. hopefully tomorrow it won't spoilt my plans for shopping.. I need to get a dress for boss wedding.. :P

As usual a week had past.. time past so fast tat i couldn't remember wat had happened in the past... is that the truth?? hahaa.. last sunday had a long chat with senior till late morning ard 4 plus?? his words is still inside my mind which led me landed with not enuff sleep for the the first day of the week plus monday blues~~~

Senior : "You will nt forget the person when u kept talking abt him. I will know when u finally forgotten everything then it will be the time i tell u the truth. Even if u know the truth now, it will make you feel more worst."

As usual, i work till late nite... Boss told me "I want to do a review with you." Erm.. guess tat was not a gd idea as i dunno wat kind of nonesense i will said it out.. wahahaa.. But guess she saw us that busy, she had also forgotten she had a date with me to do my review. After work, i met naggy for movie. Guess it was pretty kind to wait for me for so long at central. Although he knocked off at 6.30, he had loitering ard till 9pm to meet me for movie. Plus maybe i force him to watch the movie ba.. When i am watching the movie, guess things been floating in my mind.. or maybe i nt sleep.. As usual... tears dropped.. guess naggy didn't know that i cried... i didn't take out any tissues... just let tears dry by its own.. I hope to be as strong as maria... After kelvin told me at After 8 was quite a good movie, been wanting to watch and FINALLY i managed to catch the show on Monday. Naggy actually suggesting to take cab home, but i choose not save money.. cos nowadays always OT and it led me to take cab home so often.. OT allowances bcome cab fare.. hai~~~~~

Tuesday.. had a long day... erm.. did i work OT tat day?? guess not.. i left office pretty early.. plus i am so tired.. but when i reached home, hehee.. feeel so awake... of cos i went online to play my pangya..

Wednesday.. my ex-friend been disturbing me nowadays to ask me to be his stead.. haha.. tat's funny... bcos i know him for too long le ba... plus we are nt suit for him.. Guess wat i will reply him ba... lol.. :P

Thursday... OT!!! Actually planned to hagen daz to have chocolate fundage.. haha.. guess i really need to vent everything out.. otherwise i will go crazy soon...

Friday.. went to Yishun for comsic bowling.. guess wat.. we left office ard 9... hahaa.. wat kind of bowling is this?? luckily managed to solve a bug before i left office.. but had to try it out on monday again.. hahaa... not to mention.. i share cab home with my boss... hai~~ of cos we had a chat in the cab... she said i am lucky to participate in this big .Net project. Seriously, she is quite true.. This is a very big .Net project. I can learned a lot of things from here.. she always pursed me to go for further studies.. don't just stop here... i must carry on.. and she hopes tat i can be more independent in work.. although my colleague is back frm taiwan but i still must take all the modules currently on hand.. and he will ignore me.. let me grow on my own unless i am in deep shit!!! hahaa.. when will all this end?? will i still contiune my contract or i will choose to further study?? hahaa... i went to apply SMU!!! After thinking tat my results wasn't tat good.. guess they will not accept me also.. boss asked me.. "Did u went to apply this time round?" Sorry.. didn't mean to tell lie... My reply was no... As my boss is graduate from NUS!! While NUS and SMU both are using different teaching method.. NUS is more on theory while SMU are more towards practical..Guess sooner or later, i will receive letter to reject me.. hai~~~~~ is ok... i dun mind le.. getting into this project, is one my achievements.. As i know this is one of the largest project in Asia, and i did benefits a lot although i did not had good basic.. Glad to know all my colleagues...

Had a quarrelled with naggy last nite on msn. He said i am very indecisive.. But i guess he is more worst than me. Being kind enuff, i asked him want to buy shaw tickets which is selling at 7.50 each and valid for a year. Guess wat his reply.. "dunno.. i had to wait for them to come back and decide.. " hai~~~ i am asking you not asking them. The tickets u can just buy and keep for one year, if u like it or just reject the offer. Guess this teaches me a lesson nanny is no longer the person i know!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DUN DISTURB PPLE WHEN HIS GF IS AWAY!!!!!!!! ONE WORD FOR NANNY "!@#$%^&*()*(^%$#@$%^%#@$%^&#$%!@#$%$%". Didn't ask anyone for tat offer also.. i tot since he is always so nice to me.. so maybe can help him to save a bit of money when he go on dates.. but ended up "@#$#$@#$@#$@#$#$#$#$#$$%$#%@#@#$@"... so FED UP!!!!!!

Guess tuesday, i go back office and try my luck to buy some tickets for myself.. YY if u all want, leave me a msg on tagboard ba.. i try to check whether is there any tickets left.. actually wanted to go back to office to work today but cannot wake up... hehee.. :P

SHAW tickets..
Price : $7.50
Valid till : 1 year from the day
Day : Any day of the week

erm...i am just doing a kind deed... so in case u all dun want to buy.. PLS DO NOT @#$%^@#$@#$%^. I Will nt accept any apologies or any idiotic trying to vent anger on me. DUN THINK U ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS IN THE BAD MOOD!!! I ALSO IN BAD MOOD LEH!!!!!!!!!

hai~~~~~ dun udnerstand why i like to sigh so much nowadays... but something i can find it out from my own behaviour.. is that i CHANGED!!!! i had bcome more and more out of mind..

Monday, Tuesday... been working OT as usual my colleague accompany me.. hahaa.. now my boss thinks tat when i am going..she will be going also.. or she will be going ... i will be going also.. didn't get to be so close with her last time.. when she joined my team than we know each other better..

Wednesday... guess she is getting more and more accept that when i did not have enuff sleep, i will bcome very high... erm.. tat's wat she been telling me.. and controlling me.. wahahaaa... :P Imagine that day.. three of us decided not to work OT and go off earlier.. one of my colleagues came down to find us to go out for dinner.. guess we had create a mess out of the room, tilll my boss said "Girls, tamn down a bit... is a bit noisy here.. " lol.. :P there we go... CRAZY~~~~~ we decided to go for crab... One of them suggest Dragon Gate at Habourfront. On the way to decide where to head for dinner, my the other colleagues said "There dun have crab.. ". It did change our thinking, wat if there is no crab? In the end, we still choose to go there... When we reached there.... we stand at the entrance pondering very long.. are we sure we want to go in? are we sure we have enuff money to walk out of the restuarant? are we going to wash dishes there? hahaa.. all the above are rubbish.. we stepped in and ordered 17 dishes in abt 1 and half hour time.. hahaa.. guess we are big eaters.. or bcos we are too stress or i am hiding my sadness?? hahaaa... after that.. i be very frank.. i tell them that i went to mos last thursday.. erm.. one of them had the kick of going to mos since is ladies nite.. hai~~~ we really create a fool over at the restuarant and in the train.. seriously tat day was fun... we headed to clarke quay after the meal.. though tomorrow need to work.. we still got the energetic to walk ard clarke quay to choose a pub.. and drink.. in the end, we headed to crazy elephants.. i order vodka martini.. my two colleagues ordered... sex on the beach and fruit punch.. erm.. mine was a bit too strong. .dare not to do wat i had done in mos.. just to drank finish without thinking.. otherwise.. i guess i will landed in a drunk state as i had never tried this before.. ard 12 plus we took cab home...

thursday.. jialat.. all of them know we had a redevenous dinner last nite.. haaha.. and we went pub.. all of them said we never jio.. hahaaa... seriously tat day didn't work really tat hard.. as mind was not really in a clear state.. bleah... was waiting to go for lunch.. during 11 plus.. went to take a packet of nuts frm kim.. tat day... i need to go to sizzler again due to boss set there as farewell lunch for two of my colleagus.. hai~~~ haven finish digest wednesday dinner... going to head for buffet again.. jia lat.. guess wat... i met kim there.. wahahaaa.... tried the spicy chicken.. it was gd... tat day was damn sleepy sia... not to mention.. we worked OT that nite again.. after work... we planning to go ms to eat cake... hahaaa.. :P in advance to celebrate my colleague's 21th birthday.. in the end, we left office ard 9.30.. guess it is too late le.. we head to city hall, bakerzinn... ordered 3 different desert and share.. jia lat... we really eat too much le...

friday... finally get my two sirs close after my boss urged me to call the users as often as possible to close it asap... seriously mentally and physically are collasping le... lol.. :P i met yy and shifu for dinner.. as usual i am late... hai~~ bcos of my user had a meeting at 5.. and it last till 6.20.. futhermore, i had to went up to her and pursuade her to close off the sir.. otherwise my boss will be come and msg early in the morning .... erm.. to prevent all this happened... i choose to be more persistance to ask her to close off.. wahaha.. shifu they all waited for me quite long.. actually i tot go marina square and have dinner.. next expect tat.. we ended up at harbourfront again... once again, i had the same kind of dinner again.. while this time round is different.. we had ... 25 dishes.. for the same price... omg... really too full le.... next we walked to sentosa... hahaa.. never pay entrance fees also.. and board a bus to silso beach... trying to walk t palawana beach but realise it was too dark... choose another alternative is to walk to silso beach.. while.. nothing much over there.. and it was quite late.. we toook bus back to terminal and board bus back to mainland... run all the way to catch the last train to head for a tea session at bedok.. hahaaa.. guess bcos of me.. both of them stayed to quite late.. erm.. guess a lot of them are surprised tat dramatic changes i had during these period... or maybe i scare them off.. just like my gd friend been asking me out for dinner.. but he can't make it on tat day.. .

guess i had close down my blog since he passed away... erm.. how long had i took for this time round? seriously i got no idea how long had i took.. time passes everyday while i thought i had a very long period of resting.. erm.. next tot tat the resting period was so short.. last few weeks been numbing myself in work... not to mention the coming days, i will get more and more busy until it had bcome more stable.. took a four days long leave and slightly more a bit, landed myself with tons and tons of work to finish work.. seriously, went i went back to work.. i almost been working ot everyday only till abt one thursday evening, i went orchard with kim.. Try the mango that she recommend me, it was pretty not bad.. plus i bought a lot of breads tat day.. on the way home, kim got a call from carina.. we had a date to watch running wild on friday nite.. although boss dun want to give me a tough period after seeing how down am i for the past few days, i trying my best.. to finish up stuffs on hand... erm.. but time just doesn't stop for me nor them.. management gave us a very short dateline to finish stuffs on hand.. guess i am old enuff, dun let them to have a hard time and delay everyone work.. work damn hard on friday, till i almost miss the movie.. i miss abt 10 mins of the show.. after the movie, we took cab home.. roughly reached home ard 2 plus... sob sob...

actually the next day wanted to go guang ming shan to do tomb sweeping.. but i need to go back to office to finish my stuffs. coincidently, my auntie need to go back to work also... wondering is it bcos my grandpa wants me to go? that's why my aunt need to work on that day... hai~~~ boss gave me a very 'early' morning asking for my status update.. asking whether am i ok or not?? how come i never email him update at all?? hai~~~ maybe he scare i will collaspe again or cried again or breakdown again.. bcos it was very scarely when i cried and work at the same time.. maybe last friday i shouldn't had gone back to work.. of cos tat day, i stayed in office until 5 plus.. really going to bcome panda le..

sunday, i went to guang ming shan with mummy.. daddy can't go due to he just lost his father.. reached there ard 2 plus.. due to he come back late to fetch us.. hai~~~ when i reached there, sad to said i saw ............... going for ceremate... hai~~~ of cos my mind been floating with other stuffs... maybe we and my grandpa ties are thicker, if i didn't remember wrongly.. i never saw anyone breakdown nor tears rolling down.. as recalled on that day, most of my cousins cried like mad... but my eldest cousin, he is the strongest... he looked after all of us and asked us dun cried le.. i admire him.. he never dropped any tears at all though he is close with him.. but definitely he feel very painful deep inside his heart.. bcos my grandpa brought him up.. he always brought us to swimming or go play.. or go pasir ris... hai~~~~ that day, my uncle brought up the story of my maternal grandpa.. of cos, i get to know more abt him..

Monday to Thursday, i had been working OT practically everyday and took cab home.. Erm.. got a colleague nt bad... she accompany me everyday..though she dun need to stay.. quite touch lah.. we went to have dinner at sizzler which is at toa payoh.. hehee.. had a full dinner due to we got coporate discounts.. wahahahaa.. :P erm... the day before bulldog msg me asking me to go ms to eat cake.. i was wondering is he crazy? hahaa.. tat day my phone was bombed by him.. and of cos just like my primary friend said as usual i am late.. when i reached there, i still couldn't believe tat i am going ms to have cake.. when i wanted to go back home, i called ed.. he pass the phone to bulldog.. he said.. organise this outing is for u leh.. diao... no choice.. i dropped off at newton just to take cab down to ms... hai~~~ no cab.. then take bus to orchard to take cab .. again no cab!!!! yy actually went home le.. but bcos of me.. she went down again`~~~ hai~~~ then i met her at clarke quay mrt station.. followed by taking cab down to meet them.. we feel so weird... i had been laughing throughout the whole journey.. i still couldn't believe that we are going there.... i drank quite a lot tat day... guess all of them know how i feel le.. cos tat day i spilled out everything.. before i went there.. shifu already called me and check on me.. see whether how am i le.. i called my gd friend to come and join us but too bad he already reached home le.. that nite.. after yy and bulldog left.. me, ed and one of my primary schoolmates... were standing there waiting for cab.. the most comical thing is that we are waiting for citycab bcos it is cheaper.. and in the end we miss 4 city cab.. hahaa.. rofl... we had our supper at joo chiat roti prata shop which nanny brought me there before.. ard 2 plus.. we walked home.. hai~~ when i am there.. my heels already spoiled le.. so i hurt my leg on the way home.. guess i fell asleep ard 4 plus... damn... i had to work on the next day though is public holiday.. erm.. gain something.. get to know my primary schoolmate better.. though we seldom talk when we come out... wahaahahaa.. not a bad guy.. quite a nice guy.. too bad.. let him see the down side of me.. aiya.. forget something.. bulldog had tell the whole world i am badly down.. hai~~~~~

good friday, i went back to work.. a bit bad tempered.. erm.. guess not a bit.. is very bad-tempered.. suppose to go back at 10.. i reached there ard 11plus.. hai~~ of cos my colleague accompanied me till 8 plus.. very sweet hor?? but when i tot of ytd how kevin bluff us.. i really want to laugh.. guess next time round.. nobody will dare to go ms to eat cake with him... he still dare to ask me to go there again.. when i am totally collaspe in physically.. after tat thursday long nite..

sat.. had a long rest.. suppose to meet my cousin.. but i am too tired to go out.. guess she was a quite angry with me.. but i dunno how to reject her.. as i had told myself.. no matter wat.. i tried to say yes to them.. hai~~~ in the morning, my gay friend msg me out for dinner.. lol... hai~~ nobody was free to go.. in the end, we cancelled le.. he said if got anything hor, just give him a call.. sweet hor?? even though he gt gf le, when he dun need to work on sat.. he will try to keep us accompany... or ask us out for dinner.. when we asked him out for dinner.. he will always said yes... but we felt guilty as he is working nite shift... hai~~~~

sun... met two friends for dinner.. of cos i won't miss the chance to eat sashimi.. so long never eat le... had a quite long chat with them ba... hai~~~~ sometimes i think tat even a xiao didi is much more stronger than i do... xiao didi thinks i need to go mph more often.. bcos last week he saw me was when i am very bad shape and almost cried in front of them.. then this week he saw me was like ok le.. but on the way home.. he tell me.. life is tat cruel.. just let go of everything..

at nite when i reached home, i went into friendster.. saw korkor pic.. suddenly miss him so much tat my tears dropped down le.. korkor changed le.. as usual.. he is still tat yandao... but now he is having more and more bfs... if last time i listened to him, will i still ended in such a situations? or i will find myself a better way...

in this funeral, i get myself to bcome closer with my cousins again.. today they msg me... asked me whether i want to join them for hongkong tour or not.. hai~~~~

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

i msg shifu that day when i never turned out for dinner.. shifu told me.. if u never tell other pple how u feel, how would they know.. shifu.. i trying my best le.. but i failed le.. i dunno how long can i stand.. in front of everyone, i trying my very best for the past few years not to shed a single tears no matter of wat is happening.. guess now i gradually start to collapsing.. i avoid all calls and msg.. i need a break.. pple expects a listening ear when they need..wat abt me.. who can lend me a listening ear.. nowadays i felt more and more painful.. guess i really need a break away from everyone...dun blame me.. i need time to recover.. i won't be there to listen to any love story.. or giving any advices le.. bcos now she is lost..

i feel tired.. dun ever asked me abt friends.. guess maybe i am very selfish.. but i feel very tired le.. guess maybe i hoping to see like ester they all shower me with caring ba.. bcos at home.. been struggling nt to drop a single tears in front of my parents.. of cos outside hopes tat everything will work..

at work.. dun dare to deny tat boss did give me all the help she can le.. guess is time for me to buck up..

as for friends..seriously i dun dare to ask for too much .. maybe just a dinner or just a concern.. or maybe i am too greedy le.. or i haven found someone who understand me well.. felt so painful today..

ytd met a quite gd friend for dinner.. he brought me to a cafe called miss clarity.. erm.. they food there nt bad.. and considered quite cheap. 1 set meal only cost $8.80..i told him a story between me and someone else who gave min this nickname.. seriously in the life of min, she met a lot of pple.. guess she give pple a mystery feelings, pple might said i know u too well.. i dunno whether is tat truth, bcos she herself dun even know who is she deep..

i met creater of min when i first entered poly... dun need to say.. everyone know abt him including my parents plus my cousins.. everyone known him as 'ATM', caring, super nice guy.. mum always nagged at me said i am too fierce towards him... hahaa.. of cos not to be surprise.. i got him and jil to help me when i am in first year poly... i can't deny both of them are good.. but maybe fate is fooling me.. i ended to like one of them.. of cos jil had bcome my jiefu but he and jiejie broke up last year le.. guess everyone are nt surprise by the ending of the story between min n him. hahaa... he got to know min personal life too.. the friends tat min always hang around.. though he did not meet them before.. of cos he got to know some of them also... both of them had put a full stop in story. guess he did left me a very sweet moments as well as the cold war which i hate it a lot..

i met my nanny when i lost my cousin.. supposely to meet them after work at cartel..i ended up with ester they all for drinking session.. of cos some other stuffs too(not very gd to mention them sia.. ) i had my supper at mr bean instead of ba chou mee at joo chiat.. Suppose to meet them when i reached home but i turned out to fly aeroplane.. therefore of cos i got the naggings and etc.. and kana sabo by them.. someone appearing at my back when i was talking on the phone.. though i am a bit drunk, i can still remember everything vividly. i told him i am going home to vomit.. guess tat time was ard 3 plus.. or 4 plus.. in the morning.. of cos once i reached home, i vomit out everything and took a bath.. finally back to bed.. guess i msg them before sleep bcos they are still playing daidee at downstair.. hahaa.. he defintely bcome a nice guy in my dictionary which is i never told him tat before.. guess tat will wat yy thinking abt.. though she never asked me abt... he helped me to print my resume when i am going for interview the day before.. therefore he got to know my school life.. guess he is nt the first one... someone before him actually edited my resume long time ago when resume suppose to be assignment.. delivery of prata during my chalet when i seeking help.. anyway he always on the way mah.. haha.. but of cos we waited for prata until we almost fall asleep..

maybe min is just a very innocent girl or in another way round she hopes to land into a fairy tale story.. guess the first person had teaches her a lesson.. when someone being so nice to u.. it doesn't mean anything.. just tat he is throwing his sypamthy towards u.. of cos.. she chose nt to have anything with the second guy.. bcos she know he is a very nice guy.. (hahaa.. guess it should be another way.. the guy won't fall her.. bcos she is like pocupine (who hurts pple when pple touches her).. )

while another bunch of pple who will going to be my colleagues.. not to mention my two bosses from different company.. i might considered myself lucky tat i landed up in this team. they are a bunch of happening guys and girls plus very energetic.. they did give me the forces to go back to work and trying to make myself stronger.. thank you everyone..

seriously min considered herself very lucky.. she always got someone to help her or pull her up when she at her down side of life.. last time ester they all to help her to relieve stress after school.. of cos the negative side was to take cab from toa payoh back to home.. now.. she will try to walk alone in the further of her story...

can said tat min had lose herself in this incident.. seriously it come too suddenly tat min can't even react to the reality..

i shall contiune my story from here... last thursday, we sent him thru his last journey. we followed the traditional chinese custom, he was ceremated instead of buried.. we wore socks on our feet and walked all the way to parkway parade.. then we boarded a bus to mandai... first reached mandai, my feeling was "WOW, so high tech sia.." The atmosphere changed immediately.. we proceeded to hall 3.. they even had notice to inform pple who will be using the hall.. the priest conducted his last ceremony before the coffin is heading to ceremate room.. after that we headed to viewing gallery to see grandpa for the very last time.. when the coffin was on the machine slowly moving.. we all burst into tears and kept calling our grandfather or father.. the door closed.. while there is a crazy guy took a pic of wat happened in the room.. i wondering is he crazy.. can't he see tat all of us are down.. that is nt the right moment to take pic.. everyone collasped at the moment when we proceed out of the viewing hall.. everyone cried... we removed our socks and 'dai xiao'... wear back our slippers and board the bus back to grandma's house.. she did not follow us to mandai..... we had our lunch there.. everyone of us had to use "flower water" to wash our face and hair. after tat use scissor to cut away part of our hair.. after tat, we went up to grandma's house.. of cos bills defintely come after next.. the most scarely thing is tat i dunno a funeral cost tat much.. it is like a bomb... total expense = ard 31K.. omg.. only five days... hai~~~ guess it is just a respect from them to their father..

today is my grandpa's birthday.. on sat, i went over to granny's house.. she mentioning tat grandpa actually planned to have steamboat this coming weekend.. but everything is too late.. he had already gone to somewhere far away from us... when i am small, we always go east coast udmc seafood there for dinner whenever grandpa or grandma celebrating mother's day or father's day or birthday.. now.. last year, we went to bedok there for dinner.. my cousin bought a cake for him on tat day.. tat day was the first time tat we had cake during birthday celebration..

life is always full of turning point.. my grandpa did actually help me to turn my point of life.. during PSLE tat year, i actually fall sick during PSLE period.. never expect to go to which stream or which seconday schools.. i got into my fourth choice which is BN.. dun ask me why i choose there.. i dun even know.. my parents started to get worry and they decided to get me out of there and changed to the sec school which is nearer to me.. actually my application was being rejected.. but somehow he got me into tat seconday school.. and my life changes from tat moment.. i got to know the bunch of buddies.. (though i admit they are really very guai.. ) i got edusave every year.. (this is a surprise bcos i dun study hard..) if without him, i would be able to know this bunch of friends.. or maybe my life will turn out another way..

things didn't went the same especially the last day of the funeral. priest was going around the coffin and we followed him behind.. he covered the coffin and there go my grandpa.. everyone start crying

friday.. though i was falling sick, i still went to work... though i got mc, i never submit.. i was struggling with my work and my tears dropped.. jialat.. guess maybe when i am sick, i am very emotional.. after work, i went marina bay to find yy they all for steamboat.. then after tat, we headed home..

saturday...feel so sick.. but i took medicine... during afternoon, grandpa admitted hospital... as all of us know, he had already reached the last stage of cancer... when i saw him tat day, he had already lost all his strength... he can't walk anymore.. bounded to the bed... he had a full dinner tat nite.. he was so pale..

sunday.. he passed away in the morning le... ard 10 plus.. when hospital called my dad, they told him faster come and see him for the last time.. when i woke up, is already 1... then we rushed down to my granny's house... they just came back from hospital, everyone cried until very jialat... the funniest thing is i never dropped a tear.. but i just feel very stunned.. been shivering for the whole day... a lot of us, still couldn't react to wat the reality had hitted us. my dad cried.... he always very respect his father.. now he passed away.. guess it is a very big blow for him.. the only thing now i can do is to look after my parents...

tomorrow will be going back to office to apply for leave.. guess tuesday will be back to work.. then wednesday n thursday take leave again..

erm.. this week...quite ok, not like wat i expected but there are times i am still blur blur.... lol... :P guess my brain had been stop functioning.. now need to get my brain to wake up, wake up...

friday, i went to have a drink at balcony with my friends... was pretty nt bad.. but maybe i felt a bit bored or bcos i dun like to sit on high chairs.. or maybe i prefer it to have a live band... hehee...

sat, went to IT fair.. heheee..spent quite a lot bcos i bought myself a LCD... lol... guess changing of phone must postpone le.. otherwise this mth, i am broke....

hehee...later going to catch shaggy doggy... lol... :P

Announcement

chou gary...told me he will tell me the story but idiot.. never tell me..hai~~~~~
HE GOT A GF LE!!!! Things getting more and more mystery... getting more and more blur... guess i am old le... But congras lah.. of cos i want to see how your girl girl looks like... lol.... :P next time u are dead... i will ask u more abt her.... bleahz... :P

hehee.. my gd friends seems like all at the suddenly all attached.. except yy,kaiwong,kelvin, soo yuan (i think he should be soon too le... )...lol.. :P
wo zhu fu ni meng... :)

yy u all must jia you.. faster find one also... heheee..

chou anton, suan me...said i am like a baby... .arg!!!!!!!!

ok... they all quite sweet.. consider luckily tat i gt this bunch of friends... :P

caught a korean movie today... i realise that it had a very sweet plot. erm.. wat it came across my mind was "when will i have such a sweet ending of relationship?" min never learnt to cherish things ard her... only when the very last min or when things started to disappear in her life... seriously life do give me a very big impact... saw things between jiefu and jiejie... are u all still friends?? guess nope ba.. seems like nothing maintaining the same, just me standing alone in the rain.. hoping tat things dun change.. things will be always the same.. who dun like to be shower with pamper and care.. just tat the person who shower u with pamper and care, is he the right one? is he the one u looking for? nobody knows it only at the moment u decided to proceed to another stage with him ba.. as for me, i can't even overcome the barrier of the death.. how can i overcome the rest.. a bit feel discomfortable as i do not know when the worst is occuring. Everyday been living in mystery, i will never know wat is happening next. guess i am sick and tired of this kind of life...

monday was down...hai~~~ sad sia... morning already feel very giddy but never expect a lunch at japanese resturant made me felt worst.. vomitted all the food i ate.. hai~~~guess my brain had stopped at the point when i vomitted twice.. trying to act strong but nothing seems to work... at the end, finally asked my reporting officer for urgent leave and took cab to see doctor...

doctor : "How are u feeling today?"
min : "I vomitted twice today?"
doctor : "HAR!!!!!!!!! Are you pregnant???"
min : "OMG!!! No no!!! just tat my gastric is too acidic for the past one week"
doctor : "oic, let me have do a check up for u. Don't eat spicy, oily food.. Best is to eat kuay teow soup or plain porridge."
doctor : "Why u come so late to see doctor?"
min : "bcos i work.... "
doctor : "ok... i give u two days of mc. Take a gd rest at hm"
min : "ok... thanks doctor"

I stepped out of the room and walked to the pharmacy to drop my prescription. While waiting at the counter to make payment. I saw the MC and was written as TEO XXXX XXXX.. OMG!!!! Luckily i never blur blur and leave the clinic. I went back to ROOM 13, knock at the door and inform her tat she give me a wrong mc. wat she said is sorry and reprint my mc.. heng.. never submit to my head, otherwise i will ask for questioning le. Actually wanted to ask whether did she gave me the wrong medicine but in the end i forget abt it.. while making payment at the counter, the counter lady kept complaining that she couldn't see well at the screen... doh...

** Next time when u go polyclinic to see doctor, though it is cheaper and it takes u abt 1 hour to see doctor. REMEMBER to check your receipt, MC and medicines carefully!! in case the doctor makes a mistake...

When i am in office, kim came down and visit.. i feel so touched.. thanks.. wo ai si ni le.... :)

actually this weekend, planning to have buffet with them but guess i will nt go... dun really feel like eating much nowadays... but this weekend, i want to go IT fair... who want to pei wo go?? guess nobody ba.. maybe i go alone.. hahaha... :P impossible... min nt tat independent.. is either she find someone to go with her or she will never go alone.. lol.. :P

as for next week... my colleague going for reservice.. things started to come towards me... hahaa... i am like a newborn baby.. i dunno anything... i planned to revise everything tomorrow... will tat be possible?

monday... fall sick.... on mc..
tuesday... supposely to be on mc.. but bcos they going bbq... i chose to go to work of BBQ... hahaa.. but gastric did nt stop me from eating... guess wat is to eat medicine... lol.. and i drink.... but when i reached hm... omg...gastric starts to give me problem...
wednesday... nthing much happened... went back hm ard 8 plus... bcos of ****** (my company's name) superstart... my colleague partcipate in the competition.. no choice lah... must support mah... guess my team is super happening sia... but i nt really tat close with my colleagues..
thursday... actually my colleague they all planning to have paris international buffet at nite... but had cancelled it due to one of them need to work late... erm... ended up i worked late too.. no choice... got to eat medicine to tahan liao... and my colleague starts to hand over things to me.. (omg.. tmr neeed to revise le.. otherwise my short-term memory will starts to forget things... )
friday...actually wanted to meet kelvin,yy and winston they all... but felt very tired... bcos of thursday late nite... therefore i headed hm to sleep... lol... :P
saturday... met my friend for shopping, movie spree... shit... i m spending a lot today... i had japanese ice-cream today..yummy... is a new shop open at marina square.. joyce caught me at ms but guess my eyes got problem lah... i didn't see her at all... guess she must be there with her boiboi... i actually dated xiao didi out for sashimi... lol.. :P yy said tat someone is addicted to sashimi...to be frank, my gastric can't take take spicy and too acidic stuffs.. but i am still having it... lol..guess one day, i will fall sick soon.... i took cab after i left orchard... guess wat... the guys are bullying me... they said i was late for an hour.. erm..

Time : 9pm
Venue : Parkway

Time tat i reached
Time: 10pm
Venue : Parkway, Mos burger...

omg... start to get nagging (predicted) sob sob.. my heels spolit le... yy even more worst than me.. she reached there at 10.45.. i guess this bunch of pple getting more and more worst.. always come out so late.. then xiao didi always take cab hm... hahaa.... :P next week, they planning to eat international buffet...

erm... from the first day of CNY, my eyelid been blinking.... today it is getting worst....wat does tat means??
mum's birthday is round the corner while i still have no idea wat to get for her.. sian...

Last sat, went over to somewhere to stay... hahaa... :P i guess i need a break... had a gd resting time and massage over there..

Sun, was a day to have a fresh start... Spent quite a lot of gocceries bcos i accompany mum's to supermarket... plus she bought a pot of orchid... approximate spending ard $100....

Monday
As the start of the day, i had already spent $33 on medical. SHIT!!!!!! Was being asked to watch my diet for the next few days.... sob sob... gastric giving me big problem... the doctor said no curry, no chilli(omg,i eat chilli often leh... )... guess no alcoholic drinks also le...only can eat porridge... tomorrow they going bbq...sob sob... can i eat?? will my gastric take it...

------------------------------------------------
korkor 2 - know him thru louis... hehee... he is very sweet wor..
ytd out of the suddenly, he msg me... told him i am sick.....
he bcome very caring and very sweet.. hehee... :) thanks korkor for coaxing me...

while i msg the other friend for help... he used to be very caring towards to me.. sob sob.. he never reply my msg.. guess wo meng nian peng you duo zuo bu liao le... why u want to lie to me tat u will always be there for me when i need u... hai~~~~~~
hao lei arh... hao lei arh... u been thru me so many things... yet now... ni sheng ye bu jiang jiu zuo le... wo heng ni!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today supposely to meet kim.. but her friend fail her paper..therefore we had a final decision not to meet up today... since it had been a long time tat i ever met my cousin, i sms her out for dinner.. haha.. she agreed and meet me at woodland.. the feeling of going there is totally different.. but nothing over there also.. had cavana for dinner.. the food was pretty not bad..

as for work, my colleague will be going for his reservice soon and i have to cover part of his work.. omg... ME?? why me?? seriously until now i am still in my wonderland... today actually should have debug a program..ended up.. i only spot one nt tat critcal error... my colleague was being call back though he is at training.. so paiseh.. when the sir is closed.. .boss and he said good work... erm?? wat i done?? scarficing my lunch?? or ??? hai~~ i wondering can i survive thru apirl or not...

as for friendship.. kor called me on tuesday morning... when i am still sleeping.. yawn~~~i am pretty tired due to late working hours on monday.. guess wat he told me.. he met him.. (at the moment, i feel nothing... no feelings at all.. )guess as time passes... feelings can be fade away... should i find one and starts another one?? haha... i am someone who enjoys pamper.. erm... guess not ba.. .learn hw to take care of myself first ba.. still got a few more mths to the downfall of the whole family.. dun wish to play with fire now.. later i can't balance both side... then how?? by then. who can lend me a helping hand ...

erm..... nowadays been meeting up with my buddies.. always got a few of us...
most of time kl, winston and me will go parkway to buy sashimi.. can said tat nowadays i had a crave for sashimi..

friday, went to sy's 21th birthday.. as usual... i am late... and everyone is waiting for me to cut the cake.. omg.. i felt so embrassed.. immediately i find a corner to hide.... tat taxi uncle did actually advice me to go by PIE.. KPO lah!!! choose ECP!!!!!! arhg!!!!!! go by a big round... then no choice... all my allowance go to cab fare... the most shit thing is i haven finish my work... guess monday sure kana nag liao.. hai~~~~ no choice.. if i can wake up early, then go to work earilier to clear up ba...

sat.... been really tired, guess is bcos i played game till quite late on friday nite... woke up ard 11 plus... planning to go back to office to clear up the stuffs... but really very tired.. these few days been going hm late.. therefore i felt so relunctant to go back.. final decision.. not going back to work.. and stayed at hm to rot. woke up ard 5 plus... actually wanted to jio ester go drink.. hahaa.. but sad to said she never reply my msg.. then went online to post the previous msg..
winston they all are online... asked them out for coffee.. hahaa.. :P and i found out tat they had actually knew tat my gd friend aka banana had a BF.. BCOS SHE IS BEING CAUGHT AT BUGIS!!! HAAHAA!!! She is having a sweet honeymoon now wor... :)
I met the guys and yy for coffee at parkway... as usual, i went to buy sashimi.. jialat... is time to stop... ex sia... ard 10 plus... my gd friend brought her bf down... maybe bcos is the first time we saw him... we are all belong to quite shy pple... tat situation didn't mix well... plus just now at coffee bean, i had bcome a listener to listen other pple's relationship etc.... erm... when i bcome a consultant in relationship?? Maybe a failure gains more experienced... haha.. :P or maybe nowadays i always hang out with them.. kana influnce by them?? After the pool session, yy and kevin went hm due to budget constraint.. while banana n her bf went back home earlier due to curfew... and it left with me and my 3 buddies... my suggestion was to have a chat... hahaa.. we really went for a chat... at first, we target to stop at 12.30... tick tock... tick tock... 1 plus liao... winston posted out a question "Why nt both of you stay at my house?" Both of them agreed.. and we went to buy drinks and contiune till 2am... This outbreak our records... even though at chalet, we dun even have this kind of heart to heart talk before... maybe it proven that our friendship are stronger now.. we can lean on each other when we are sad?? am i right to say tat?? never regret to know this bunch of buddies... though there are more guys than girls... hahaa... tat is the past i had... mixing with different bunch of pple... and i landed up with them.... thanx pals.... hopefully tonite my words are nt too hurting...

Guess i had to explain why i decided to close down the blog....... why i decided to bring it back.. tat nite when i decided brought this blog bcos of my gd friend... she suddenly msg me... asking me.. are u alright? remembered tat i am always for you.. thanks for your word.. really touches my heart deep inside..

As for why i want decided to close this blog... Seriously, min nowadays getting more and more weak.. getting herself numb in work... most of time she been working till quite late or maybe she really have ton of things waiting for her.. or maybe her tears is dropping more than she thoughts.. Too many things pondering in her head..

When she took up this job, she was wondering she might be able to accomplish someone's else dream. But she never knew it is so tought.. My boss was asking me... "If next week, i throw u with more work. Will you quit?" The answer i had in my heart was no.. But i duno how my determination will sticks with me. Very hard to said, i might nt be able to take it. Am i really tat good to deal with programming? Why i am in programming this line? I think my programming sucks..

As for family, i am always being shower love by my parents and my beloved aunts and uncles (mother's side). I am not close with my father's side after my primary school days.... Maybe i am a bit very selfish to celebrate my 21th birthday when my grandpa was still in hospital and i never invite my relatives at all. After so many mths, heart hurts more and more often especially at chinese new year's eve. Maybe i shouldn't be tat kpo to ask abt my grandpa's condition. Now he is just taking injections once every two weeks to fight with cancer. To be very frank, he is at the last stage of cancer. If i didn't remember wrongly, i knew it after i came back from my chalet... He only left with 6 mths when he discharge.. and now he roughly left with 2-3 mths... been really down tat day on cny's eve... been trying very hard to bring back myself after cny's eve...

As for relationship, i been a totally failure... i did try very hard to forget abt him and gradually i had lost contact with him. Guess we had nt been really contact for almost a year. I will always remember those very sweet memories. Whenever i received a msg from him, it will always be the time he going to board the plane and left sg. Still remembered wat u told me before... when u graduate, u hope to go overseas to work.. Good luck..

As for friends aka my buddies, thanks... there is nothing much, i want to said.. thanks for always being there for me.. but dun blame me tat why i dun want to share.. maybe being too long with u all.. i really dunno how to said it out... tat day when we having lunch at MS... my mood is nt very gd.. u all did cheer me up.. thanks.....

Feel really tired to struggle in this kind of life.. but i believe i will turn the situation back..

erm... Something i did not add in.......... Kor is back.............
he been asking me about him...... didn't really wan to answer tat.. but i know he will be there for me when i need him can le.. dun dare to ask for too much.. bcos kor and him are my best buddies.. guess two of you know me too well le....... till slowly u all leave in my memories..

i saw jil aka jiefu last sat at bugis.. normally, i will pick up my phone and msg him.. but i did not.. and choose to walk away.. when i am at the bus-stop, i sense tat u are there.. but i duno whether my sixth sense is correct or not.. Guess the mystery between the four of us should have stop.. and everyone is walking towards different direction..........