Days had passed for this week... what have i been doing?

Monday, suppose to meet my gd friend for dinner and see how is she.. but.. see tat she is ok.. i had cancelled the dinner.. let me be very frank abt my words.. she choose the way.. we can only wished her good luck... touch wood.. if anything happened.. dun ask me wat should she do.. erm.. can i considered as very bad?? the day before tat nite, i talked to a friend on phone.. erm.. my friend asked me a question.. dun u think.. when u she gt problem.. she will always come and look for us.. when she is ok.. she seldom will find us.. i pondered for a while.. seems to agree with tat.. hai~~~ or maybe i should do reflection abt myself.. i duno.. just hope tat her decision is not wrong.. just like wat my gd friend said.. she is strong enuff... ended up.. i went out with my colleagues for a dinner at pepper lunch over shaw house and we went to catch superman...

Tuesday, i didn't went back home early.. i went to play captian ball with my colleagues.. seriously, i did enjoy myself a lot.. it is fun... :P

Wednesday, i met up with my cousin for dinner at centrepoint.. seriously i am damned piss off by work.. i dunno why the production guys will look for me... and asked me some question.. in the end, i still have to redirect to my colleague and she slammed the phone in front me.. one word is i really pissed off.. from tat moment onwards.. guess we can only talked abt work, nothing else.. am i very petty abt tat? Of cos when i met my cousin, i kept complaining abt my work and my tat colleague who i always helped her when she need help.. There is a restuarant over at centrepoint had very nice crab dumpling.. (must order wor.. )

Thursday, i went dinner with my shifu(my colleague).. hahaa.. :P of cos he brought me to a talk.. i am still considering it.. mum object me from joining.. as for nanny, he said if i join.. then dun ask him out for dinner.. lol.. :P considering is not confirm.. .

Friday, i went out with nanny... We went to tampines for dinner and movie.. Seriously i left work very early on that day, after i knew tat management had decided to transfer me to another team directly after my leave. I was very stunned about it. I don't know whether is that a opportunity for me a to learn more stuffs or i wouldn't like what i am doing. Been complaining nanny abt it during the whole nite.. at first, i really very keen to go changi airport to have dinner but NANNY said dun want.. ended up.. he drove me to tampines.. When we reached there, i realised sotong queen never bring her wallet out.. Alamak.. i am penniless.. but luckily nanny nt tat stingy.. willing to pay for me first.. hahaa.. :P we went to billy bombers for dinner.. try route 66, cheese fries and mocha milkshake.. considered as not bad..

Saturday, i woke up quite early. Don't want to let my colleagues to wait for too long at harbourfront.. hehee.. quite luckily.. i doesn't belong to tat team yet they invite me to go outing with them.. hehe.. :P We went to sentosa to play for one whole day.. We try the ludge and sky ride.. Seriously, i am quite afraid when i am taking the sky ride.. but the worst was.. THEY BOUGHT THE TICKETS FOR 3 LUDGE and 3 SKY RIDES.. OMG!!!! wat shall i do?? i didn't avoid taking the ride but i can tell u.. is like cable car but there is protector layer... only one safety bar.. i wondering.. if u take out the safety bar.. wat will happen?? First ludge was pretty slow.. was at the back waiting for my friend.. hehee.. :P then.. we went to took the sky ride.. i started to get scare but hai~~ time passes very fast.. we reached the terminal like 2 mins after it?? but the most funniest part was my friend who took the sky ride with me drop her slippers.. luckily, the caretaker saw it once she dropped it, and he managed to pass to our the other two guy friends.. But once we returned back to the 2nd time for ludge.. i had forgotten how to control it.. maybe i am too scare.. hahaa.. :P after tat we went to palawan beach to eat at the foodcourt.. then proceed to the beach to play volleyball.. hehe.. :P after tat, two of our friends are leaving... therefore we procced to take sky ride up again.. and tat two guys got another chance of playing ludge and sky ride while me and another girl wait for them at imbiah.. i wanted to try out the 4d movie but is too ex.. $16.. plus the queue is super long.. hai~~~ We went for the last ludge ride and we went to soliso beach for cannoeing.. hahaa.. girls vs guys again... we waited for 20 mins to cannoe.. guess wat we have been doing tat 20 mins.. they accompany me to walk to the nearest toliet to change.. hahaa.. :P seriously it had been ages tat i ever cannoe.. it is so fun.. that is where i found a stand for myself. i planning to tell my boss and ask whether is there another chance for me to fight back.. lol... :P haha... when i said it had been a long time tat i played splashing water.. i can sense tat it start to rain..cannot avoid it.. lol.. :P After tat.. of cos we going to take sky ride again... haha.. this time round, four of us share one... omg.. one of the guys know tat i am scare.. he shake it so violent... wow.. and i think i scream.. otherwise the guys in front of us will not look at us.. lol.. :P guess ndp is coming soon.. we saw the helicopter with the flag.. so near yet so far.. Guess is dinner time.. we been thinking of having steamboat... of cos.. piggy got a lot of good idea for food.. we went to tiong bahru for steamboat.. haha..
so shiok... we ate so much... and we even had ice-cream.. :P ard 10 plus.. we went back le.. i went to the nearby pasa malam to take a look at cute stuffs.. and wait for daddy to pick me up.. when i reached home is already 11.30.. and i really very shag le.. :P

***
should i email boss tonite or should i talk to him tomorrow? is tat going to be too late?

i am going on leave next week.. there will be a few days i nt in sg.. guess is a break for me... let me see who will i miss this time round, during my short trip.. haha..

i am going for chocolate ice-cream cake baking session with my cousin and her friend.. lol.. guess who will be the one eating the cake... dun need to said le.. nanny will be the one.. i will be going for cheese cake baking session also.. lol.. :P who will i bake for this time round... guess is myself.. :P maybe i will find myself a better guy during the bbq... wahahahaahaa.. :P

erm.. guess this week, i had been very blur for a lot of things.. and a lot of things didn't manage to finish it on time.. hai~~ boss seems like pressing me for a lot of stuffs.. when i wanted to leave at 6plus.. he will start to ask tat i am going arh? erm.. hai~~~~ seriously a bit tired due to june been working too much of extra hours till midnight or after 9.. i tend to apply leave to avoid working hassle and out of singapore. so many things happened these few years, i really wish to have a break.. as for relationship, i heard of my friend problem last nite. seriously, a bit of change of my mind for relationship.. but i can see tat a lot of us care for her a lot.. been discussing hw should we help out.. planning to ask her out.. guess this are wat buddies called? maybe these few years had strengten the bond between all of us? when someone in trouble, there will be a few of us be there for each other? i rememebered last time when i am down.. shifu and yy are there for me.. while kelvin they all will asked me out for dinner and hear me crying? or eat sashimi with me? or bulldog asked me to go clubbing hoping to cheer me up?

if u asked me whether i had forgotten him? seriously i duno, the answer is not within myself.. last three years been dependent on him too much.. now without him, i had survived for a year but i realised that time passes very slow.. i tot it had been a long long time tat i ever lose him but i realised the answer is no.. he still live within me.. i dunno whether u will come to read my blog? or whether u still want to hear any news from me.. seriously, i do miss u.. i dunno why i had fallen tat deep for you.. i miss the times with you.. tat day when i am talking to my colleague... dunno why we jump to a topic called coooking... i recalled the times when we discussing cooking together.. u been very sacaristic abt i dunno how to wash the pig intestine.. i even had to ask mum abt it... seriously i dunno how jiejie or jiefu did to forget each other.. bcos they betray each other love beforehand? tat's why they can forget the times they spend together? hw u become so cruel to me? left me without saying anything? dun u know min is very weak? pple been asking me abt u? world cup start? i even bother u and your friend how to bet on soccer when the 4 years ago it starts.. i like soccer bcos of u ?? or my gd friend? i know all of them had bcome a memoery.. it will never return.. i should had forget abt it.. but i lose le..

2002 - 4 years ago world cup starts... u teached me hw to bet on soccer.. from there onwards.. sometimes i will watch soccer or even bet on it.. if i didn't remember wrongly, the first match i watch was turkey vs south korea.. i even complain to u ... i lose $5.. then no money to eat for tmr.. hw.. sob sob.. your reply is just.. hai~~ ask u dun bet le.. u still want to bet.. from there onwards, whenever my gd friend saw me she will asked me.. how soccer? how u and him? i been telling her.. we are nt together but dunno why she keep asking me abt u... during my 21th birthday.. u did not appear at all.. if i am not wrong, i didn't tell u abt tat.. even i tell u abt tat, u will nt appear cos u had already left me without saying a word.. seriously, i damn hurt abt it.. but wat i can do is to face the fact? korkor will tell me dun be silly.. i told u beforehand but u are the one who insist to let yourself fall inside the well.. jiefu always hear me cries when u are nt ard.. jiefu.. wo shi bu shi heng sha? guess is time to wake up right? u pass me the books tat i can read it as reference for my project.. we study our exams by holding on the phone..

2003 - i went to aus due to my auntie? before i leave, i was wondering.. can i adapt it? been sticking with u so frequently.. daily phonecalls.. go there.. no phonecall.. no online.. before i leave.. i used a lie.. been acting smart trying to test hw u feel for me.. silly gal.. she did a wrong thing again.. i told u i did nt get my pay before i leave singapore.. go there sure bcome begger.. a day before i leave.. u called me.. asked me hw much i need and u really transfer to me.. from tat moment.. min really fell herself deep le.. in the plane.. she been talking to her cousin of u.. when i hit turbolence.. i am really afarid.. i never been on the plane for 10 years.. i email u when i reached there.. but u refuse to pick up the phonecall when i leave sg bcos of wat? when i come back , i called u once when i reached the terminal.. but again u refused to pick up the call.. of cos i will grumble in front of jiefu.. slowly things getting better..

2004 - guess this was the time jiefu and jiejie relationship getting shaky while.. i lose my cousin.. there is a time when u called me.. and i hang up your phone when i am alone in the aiport.. i told myself i will nt turn back to something which there is going to be no ending.. i will work hard make sure i dun let him disappointed.. i choose to send u some msg tat u will always ignore and said i am silly.. u called me once u saw those msgs.. and i hang up the phone.. while i sit in the aiport crying alone.. i board the plane 1 year ago.. he was perfectly fine tat time but just feel very tired.. 8 months later, he passed away.. maybe to u.. u will think nothing cos he is so far away from me... but to u know tat.. my auntie been treating me very well since i am young. tat was the bonding they had for me.. when i am young, everyone tend to be ard to protect me no matter how wildful i am, how bad-tempered.. tat's why when i grow older i tend to have the bond with them.. guess tat was when we had a crack.. not long after tat.. u left sg and went to china for a mth.. u are a great lier.. very coincidently tat day when u msg me, i woke up very early.. u just said min take care.. i called u.. u deny tat u are at the airport and we chatted for a while before u board the plane.. u refuse to tell me when u come back also.. am i really tat annoying to u during tat time? why can't u be frank to me.. a few wks after u left, korkor admitted hospital.. korkor was annoyed tat i leave the hospital after 5 mins of appearance and before he went for operation.. seriously i am very scared.. i always so sha.. u will always tell min.. "min.. dun scare.. must steady.." korkor was so angry with me no matter hw many calls i call or hw many msg tat i send.. guess tat is also when korkor and my bond start to crack too.. tat was a period without both of u.. u all been with me walk thru so many obstacles yet at one time.. u all leave me subsequently..

2005- u are back and we do stil keep in contact but nt tat close.. during my fyp.. i admit is almost everyday? why? bcos u want to encourage me till the end of day when i am in nyp.. the last call from u was when i am at the last day at nyp.. and sometimes maybe u will reply my msg or sms me asking wat is the last bus in orchard.. during these period.. korkor still accept my apologies.. i found myself a job... we chatted online.. tat was when we reached a stage of cold war... from someone who i am knows to stranger guy.. u promise tat no matter wat happened, u will be there for me.. tat was a lied.. during october.. i avoid to meet korkor and his friend.. guess he was angried.. and is he turn to go to indonesia without saying goodbye.. during my birthday.. he did not appear also cos he was in indonesia... while my grandpa admitted to hospital.. a day before the celebration, i got to know he had contracted cancer and the cancer had grown to be too big tat doctor advised nt to go for operation.. hai~~~~ during december, u left sg again.. u went to taiwan to attend your gd friend wedding.. again.. u lied to me.. u sms me before u leave again.. min take care.. u willing to be so cold hearted to her.. why u still want to ask her to take care.. during tat time when she saw tat msg.. she tot is just a normal msg.. nothing special.. but a few days later.. she realised tat u had went to taiwan bcos u no longer online...

2006 - u let min see the pic tat u took with your gd friend and his finance.. this is the first time tat min saw your gd friend aka buddy who know since u are in sec.. guess 3 mths after tat... my grandpa passed away.. i told u once i heard the news.. u didn't mention anything.. u did not sms or call me neither and console... or u dunno wat to say? a few days after my grandpa passed away, it was your birthday.. i didn't went out for lunch.. i am alone in the office.. thinking wat should i do.. in the end.. i still bought a card... thinking wat to write.. standing outside the post office like a silly girl.. walking tro and fro, hesitating whether should she send the greeting to u or not.. in the end, she still send it out.. u just msn her saying thank you.. while she scold u back with a lot of stuffs.. u changed your tempered a lot since min know u in 2002.. u changed bcos of her? haha.. min.. dun be silly can? such a gd guy won't had fall in love with you.. he had never love u before, u are just falling in a one sided relationship am i right? u treat her so good bcos of sympathy right? can u tell me earilier.. but u broke my heart... i didn't realise tat u had bcome so impt in my life until i lose u...

hw can i pushed all the blames to u.. i had my faults too.. guess i still dun understand relationship well. i dunno hw to differentiatie dependent/love/responsibilities.. i dunno why i will write out this nonesense out.. but tat's was my feelings towards u.. now?? i really dunno.. i start to be lose again... nanny? piggy? u??

List out a few brithdays tat who had close relationship with me or use to have a very close relationship with me or very conincidently both of them had the same birthday but different characters..

1)26/10 (myself)
头脑冷静、清晰，非常理性、踏实；认真、负责，做事非常有条理、有效率；客观、公正，喜欢仗义执言。
优点是具有很好的组织和管理能力，务实、果断，能力很强。
缺点是太过于严格和严肃，自我压抑太大。

2)7/3 (mummy)
敏感，但心坚定，富有理想；具丰富的想象力，而且能够把抽象的观念化为具体的事物表现出来。
优点是温柔、仁慈、慷慨、大方；毅力坚强，不怕困难。
缺点是有时太理想化，或想追求的目标太多，精力分散。

3)10/5 (daddy)
勇猛、刚毅、机智，善于掌握时机，开创大局；具有非常好的直觉能力和沟通能力，见解独到，实事求是。
优点是非常主动、积极，做事有效率；勇敢，大胆，敢冒险。
缺点是太冲动，缺乏思考；自我中心，不太关心别人的需求。

4)19/1 (korkor but very conincidently someone had the same birthday as him)
活力充沛，自尊心很强，充满理想；聪明、能干，富领导力，有很好的人际关系；善于表达自己的意见，而且可以说服别人。
优点是企图心旺盛，充满热忱和创造力；具独特魅力和影响力。
缺点是追求的目标太多且分散，给自己太大的压力。

5)30/3 (erm.. someone who changes my attitude, who guide me thru out my poly life..)
聪明，眼光独到，企图心强烈，意志坚定；注重自己的形象，爱面子情绪复杂，按自己的方式做事，不听别人的指挥。
优点是自我驱策力强，成就欲望很高；充满精力，执着于工作。
缺点是求好心切，给自己很大的压力；孤独，不擅长交际。

6)29/7 (jiefu and my shifu)
大方、细心，富有理想、直觉和远见，能够预知外在环境的变化和未来的趋势；喜欢社交，善于调解纠纷，敬业乐群。
优点是热情、敏感，负责尽职，有很好的观察能力和独到见解。
缺点是对任何事都有意见，主观性强，自我中心，容易忽略别人。

7)22/8 (L & nanny)
冲动、急进、天真、勇敢，个性非常好强；喜欢冒险，具有丰富的想像力和好奇心，才华很高，可以成为政治人物。
优点是大胆、勇敢，凡事喜欢尝试，对理想和目标会全力以赴。
缺点是霸道、善变，个性难以捉摸，相当叛逆。

8)13/10 (jiejie)
个性坚强，具有强烈的成功欲望；作风强悍，有影响力和独特的魅力；凡事追求完美，坚持到底。
优点是头脑清楚，果敢；才能突出，拥有独特的创意。
缺点是具有相当的叛逆性和独特的怪癖，别人较难理解

**Note : A lot of pple who walk in my life tend to share the same date but i can tell u they don't share the same character.

For example, jiefu is very good at listening while shifu is much towards the extend of caring. hehe.. BUT both of them are very good.. :P

as for korkor and someone (will nt disclose until i think timing is ripe).. erm.. korkor is much more fierce.. :P omg.. korkor will kill me if he read this post...

as for L and nanny.. erm... Seriously i think L will be better cos he very sweet towards me ma and never scold me before.. lol.. :P While nanny, erm... seriously he is a very good guy also but sometimes he got a VERY NASTY TEMPER which i dun like.. i can't deny tat every person also got his/her temper or maybe i used to pamper more than scolding.. lol.. :P

wahaha.. Today i went out to have good food again, guess this is the my third time of stepping inside a restuarant for dinner. OMG!! Expenses is going higher and higher. I went out ard 4 plus with mummy to meet auntie and of cos they will ask me to eat something before i go meet my colleagues they all for dinner. I followed wat they said and i landed myself late when i went to orchard to meet them. As usual run thru and cut thru human walls to meet them at orchard mrt station. Guess one day i must find my buddies come out, so long never see theme le. My gd friend been sms me daily due to world cup 2006, she even offered to pick me up from work and meet up for dinner. Guess she did had a gd life, just like wat she said, you might be together long with someone but it can't gurantee anything cos anything will happen. She had been with her bf for 7 or more than 7 years. I met my korkor thru her also.

erm.... stopped all my past... let me tell u wat is nice.. wahahaa.. :P We actually had reservation at seoul garden but we changed to sanur at level 4 due to a lot of pple falling sick or sort of still on the way to recover.

1) prawn crackers


2) tahu-gole (egg tofu -- > bagus)


3) grilled squid (bagus)


4) ah-cha fish
5) chicken
6) kang kong
7) 2 jugs of lime juice
8) 10 plates of rice

Total bill : ard $200
(**did not take these pics myself, grab it online**)
Food : Overall was not bad, i planning to bring my parents to try it out one day.

hehe.. guess the pple waiting outside must be cursing, can u all hurry up stop taking pics. as this might be the last team outing cos both my bosses had roll off, this is a treat for them by us.. but in return, they treated us to ktv.

8.30pm - Party World at Orchard

Few songs that we had sang for the nite..
1) She Bangs
2) Beauty and the Beast
3) Zhui
4) My Heart will go on
5) Reflection
6) Macoroni
7) MaMamia
8) old macdonald had a farm

hehee.. is fun.. :P bcos all the above songs i quote out were like we had never sang them or heard them long long time ago.. lol.. :P After that my current boss sent me and my ex-boss home. Therefore he helps me to save my cabfare

**Rememeber to check your receipt carefully when u are using your credit/debit card to make payment. They had actually overcharged us by $200 for tips but luckily my boss saw it beforehand and never sign on the receipt.

Total bill : ard $217
Total pax : 11 (mixture of nationality, hehe.. :P we live in harmony.. )

Lobster and chicken



pasta


erm.. ytd i went to marina square for dinner with my colleagues.. guess nowadays i tend to hang with my colleagues pretty often.. or maybe bcos on 1st of july, we will know where will we post to. OMG!!! PRODUCTION!!! But everything is not confirm due to everything might change in the very last minute. Tat's were wat we ordered for ytd dinner, as for UOB credit/debit card, u will be entitle for 15% discount. Therefore ME(Miss Kaisu) will grab the chance to save the service charge and gst, we just had to pay nett for wat we ate. After that we went to suntec carrefour, are we belong to housewives catergory? The answer will be NOPE!!! A few weeks ago, everyone received a free hamper from my company. Inside the hamper, it contain a few products tat were pretty unique. We want to find it out whether are we be able to purchase it.

Some of the items inside the hamper (*note: nt everyone of us have the same thing)

1) Otard


2)pepperidge farm - Double Chocolate Milano


when you open up, it looks like this...


**this is very nice....

3) Davidoff Coffee (very unique but very ex cos ard $9.85)


**very nice plus strong aroma...

hehee.. i tried a new japanese restuarant at wheelock place ytd.. guess after a few days of hard work, it is time to pamper myself. due to last two days been working ot.. of cos time for myself bcome lesser, due to OT and sometimes after work might go loitering ard with my colleagues... hopefully my relationship with my colleagues are getting better. sigh.. tmr i got a meeting with the user, omg..my boss keep scaring me tat i will have to present for it.. while i threaten him with a mc or leave.. lol.. :P guess not, he will face it himself instead of throwing me to face so many polices to question.. i will bcome a criminal..

Some pictures which i took over at the japanese restuarant.. btw i met my ex-boss(who rolled off 1 week ago) there, guess wat she said... "I know why u girls said that seoul garden got no standard, hahaha. I will call K(My Current Boss) telling him that.. " hehee.. we were so stunned bcos we never tot tat we will meet anyone there..

Oyster and Mushroom


Guess this is the first unique dessert that i ever had till now....


hehee.. is empty.. hw can it consider as a dessert right..



opps.. it seems to be empty again...

TOFU CHEESE CAKE WITH RED WINE BLUEBERRY!!!

Guess is too long that i ever blog about my own life. How's am i going on with my life? How's eevrything? How's stuff going on my work?

Places which i went these few weeks

• Plaza Singapura


• Novena


• Orchard


• Tampines


• Little India


• Joo Chiat


• Home

Where to makan

• Coffeeshop


• HongKong Cafe


• Haagen Daz


• NYDC


• Seafood Restuarant


• HongKong Street

Yesterday i went to catch two movies, guess i will post out more details when i come back home at night.






Cars was pretty not bad.. the animation was fantastic.. lighting mcqueen was on the way of going to california for treson cup challenge.. uncle mac miss him during their the journey.. this is where lighting mcqueen met his lover at route 66. It is just a small town where everyone waiting for their customer. pple over there tends to enjoy their life and not rushing at all. the rest... find it yourselves when u go watch the movie ba..

rating: 4/5






Slient Hill was gore and disgusting..Can you imagine u see pieces of flashy on the floor and someone being tied to death.. hai~~ guess nowadays pple tend to be more tense up, tat's why they choose to go watch this kind of movie. being as a bunch of very gentleman. they actually can choose to escape from the cab fare but they had actually waited for me to catch the 9plus movie. Win told me actually SY want to scold me for tat late.. hehe.. but luckily he never scold me.. lol.. :P but i made another mistake was to mistaken sweden and england match. hai~~ but he said nvm.. guess i will make repay to him.. if he win lesser money..



friday, actually had met up sy, ant, win, and bulldog for dinner and soccer match. Actually i planned to have a dinner at fish and co to catch the match, but when i reached there i realised there wasn't any match at all. Therefore we went to coffeeshop to watch. Couldn't believe my eyes tat Argentina vs Dunno watever country.. 6-0.. Erm.. someone lose money..

It had been quite some time that i met this bunch of friends. Erm.. Not much changes, just tat kel went for wisdom tooth extraction and he show us his tooth but i never took any pic for tat. Then as for sy, he hurt his right hand wrist during his basketball match. Hurt tat my shifu hurt his leg too.. miss shifu sia.. always let me bully and sometimes he teaches me something in life...

The past few weeks been working OT at least 4 times out 5 weekdays. Skips a lot of chances to go out during weekday and have lesser time to spend with friends or family. but i spent quite a long time with my colleagues. My two bosses are rolling off from this project, they will be having a feast during next weekend. Guess i will have to cancel any dates and go there. Not to mention tat during my hardest period, they gave me all their support by delay my dateline and give me a long rest even though the mangement might nt approved to that long leave due to the urgent of finishing the task.

As for family, last sat i went for a family dinner. Sort of not long after tat my grandpa's death, tat's was our family reniuon due to grandma's birthday. Not to be surprised, everything is the same but the only thing is someone is missing. Seriously, i do miss him although i might nt be very close with him or maybe i am not his favourite grand-daughter. Miss him for the care he had towards the family, whenever there is something happened he will nt mention a thing. He will just kept everything inside. Guess all of us got inheirt from him about this bad habit. but everything is over, nothing will bcome the same again.

Uncle came back from australia and went to china for a trip with his family. Auntie again asked uncle to give hongbaos to ah-ma and mummy. Hai~~ my auntie always dote us a lot.. Seriously, i miss her a lot.. She is very strong even though she lose a son, she still fight on to take care of daughter and concern for everyone ard her. Mummy used the money auntie gave her and buy back gifts for them..

As for relationship, ytd i heard a ringtone in the cinema when i am watching slient hill. i wondering will tat be louis bcos both of us like that song quite a lot. The song was in hokkien, it had been a long time tat i ever saw him. We had no more feelings toward each other. Erm.. Seriously, i dun like to go Tampines. It had been a place with full of memories and quite a lot of pple who i used to love live there. Guess two persons are enuff for me to escape from there. I used to work there, i used to have gathering with my buddies there, i used to go there bcos of someone. Seriously if u asked me whether am i in a relationship or not, i don't know how to answer you. I might be a kind of person who will fall in love easily and get out from it easily. Erm... am i really tat strong? A past means ia a past, there nothing can make past to turn to present. There is someone who i can lean on when i need him or he really love me or he is really loyal to me. But someone who is still living inside my heart.. maybe bcos too many pple knows u, and they had been keep asking me abt u. how can i answer for tat? bcos u leave me without saying anything.. u had been trying so hard to avoid me, then no way.. no matter hw hard i fall now.. no matter hw pain i am in now.. no matter hw happy i am now.. i must control myself nt to msg u or call u bcos there won't be any reply or maybe u will hate me deeper? i seems like a prisoner who dunno wat she had done anything wrong.

Prisoner might land in a relationship now, she will nt have any reply abt tat. When she found herself much more stable in a relationship, she will nt be tat selfish to keep that again.

Your true color is Green!


What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

ytd.. my aunts they all came to my house..as a fillal or act fillal grand daughter... i accompany them througout the whole day.. wash plates .. cut fruits.. take things which they bought at giant.. ard 9 plus i went to watch movie with nanny.. it had been a long time tat we spent such a good time together.. sort of.. he never scold me?? haha.. or considered i am good girl.. i been waiting for him to come over.. wahahaaa..:P we catched 11.50 show.. hahaa.. used the gv vouchers which i got.. therefore i only left with 2 more.. lol.. of cos.. i won't miss to have my japanese ice-cream since i am at marina.. and i owe him too.. due to being a nice guy of him.. he helped me to call hm and inform my parents i will be late.. hehee.. nanny said tat i am using him.. erm... i dunno.. nanny.. am i really tat selfish towards u?? guess a bit.. hai~~~ or i duno.. we had a chat over at esplande before we went back to marina to catch the movie..

when we were at esplande.. one of my friends called me at the wrong timing.. i am eating my ice-cream.. and it spill all over me.. due to my phone is going to spolit.. sob sob.. i didn't realise it only till i reached marina giant.. guess i am really a kiddy..

over the hedge was considered nt bad.. i like it.. it is much more funnier than chicken little.. somemore it helped me to relieve stress.. felt a bit gulity.. bcos nanny suppose to meet his gd friends for supper but ended up watching movie with me.. sob sob.. sorry.. and somemore i need nanny to send me home also..

today back in office.. been sitting here since 3.. watching ICE AGE in office.. eat pizzas.. and eat... and drink... hai~~~ yawns~~~ my eyes are closing soon le.. when can i go home... sob sob...

erm.. didn't really had a good sleep last nite.. seriously i dunno i had how many slept..came back to work late today.. maybe it had been a long long time tat got someone tat cares for me? or maybe pamper me? or maybe shower with care and concern.. dunno why i felt tat my heart is very pain for the whole day.. is bcos of the fairytale of da vinci code or bcos tat he patched up.. i am happy for him.. as there won't be any starting or ending between us.. we are just friends.. maybe now i am back to path which i walked alone for the past few mths..

erm.. been walking thru the tunnel alone since i graduate.. during these period.. tunnel had been very dark.. not to mention.. there are certain times tat it gets darker than wat i expected or it get brighter by someone popping by and accompany me thru...

as in my baby is going to born.. i am going to take care of it.. till my contract ends?? or i will stay on to there.. it is my first baby.. will i be able to make it throughout the end.. or i knock out? or i lose the baby?

hahaa... someone said he is the nicest guy.. going to extinct le.. lol.... :P dun forget i met quite a lot of nice guys before.. or devil guys before.. wahahaa... :P

being very kind of nanny.. he promised me to wait for me to watch over the hedge.. hehee.. so sweet of nanny. hope tat is a blank cheque.. wahaa.. :P guess after my baby is born.. going to take leave.. boss said want to go bintan want or not.. wahaaha.. they want to see whether i can drink or not.. bcos kana sabo by my colleague.. she tell the whole world tat i drink martini and vodka.. wah piang.. jialat.. no face le.. actually we all are inside the room.. nowadays always kana suan by my colleagues.. i bery guai mah..dun drink.. wahahaa.. :P

tat day when i went to watch da vinci code.. my friend is actually working over there.. haha.. but never get a chance to see him.. i told him i dun understand at all. being a kind guy.. trying to coax a xiao mei mei by saying "dun worry.. i accompany u to watch again.. " haha.. jialat.. i think i am too easily kana coax.. lol.. :P

let's pray hard tat my baby won't have any problem.. wahaa.. :P

last sat.. went out with my cousin.. it had been a long long time tat i ever last seen her.. we went to watch posidom, considering i like the movie.. before that we went to marina foodcourt for dinner.. FOR advice, dun eat ban mian over there.. bcos i found a fingernail in the soup.. yucks!!! hai~~ down of my luck.. after movie, we been wondering where to go.. in the end, we went to a cafe at esplande.. we tried the MELT CAKE WHICH COST $19.. omg.. maybe i should choose to go eq... (dunno how to spell arh.. only know is at raffles hotel.. ) guess our topics was going round her relationship ba.. maybe i am overprotective her or maybe i too kpo.. i urge her to start it early not to drag anymore.. maybe i still painful deep inside me? As being very kind of her.. she asked me "My relationship with him..." Guess wat i felt.. tat's was a sharp pain.. when she said "Oh.. Then he is out of your circle le... there she start with her song.. lonely by akon... " i found myself an excuse to go to the ladies.. controlling myself and kept quiet throughout the whole nite.. Next time when u went to tat cafe.. try the christantemas honey lime sorbet.. tat's was nice.. seriously.. when i reached home.. i started to cry out tat loud and i can feel tat sharp painful pain again which i encountered at mandai.. being kind enuff, i am getting closer with a guy.. guess he makes my wound a bit better...

sunday.. mother's day.. being a very good gal.. stayed at home and accompany mummy...

monday... erm.. being very sweet of ah han waiting for me at novena mrt for 1 hour... and i met my poly friends.. it had been a long long time tat i ever met them.. after dinner.. we went to play pool..

tuesday... guess i am in office working OT ?? erm.. can't really remember wat is happening..

Wednesday.. boss they all went to play captain's ball.. while i accompanying my colleagues to finish up her work..

thursday.. I finally catch da vinci code.. a story which i heard long ago.. but i never head his advice to read that book.. i also dun understand why i wanted to watch tat so much.. bcos of him?? I went to tiong bahru just to catch a movie.. seriously.. this place gives me quite a long of memories.. i been there with louis before.. someone who i love before?? had steamboat for dinner but it was pretty rush.. the dinner was good but a bit too rush.. during the show.. tears going to fall down le.. but it just never.. after the show, we heading different ways home.... i took bus 195 to great world city and asked the auntie what is the last bus for 16.. she said still gt.. i alight there le.. tears started to drop.. trying to control it.. i called kor.. hahaa.. :P GREAT WORLD CITY was a place i went with louis also.. guess wat? i started to cry... pass the road at orchard.. i remember how we walked the way to find jil and xuer.. to watch lord of the ring part 2.. i watched part 1 with louis while part 2 with him... bus 16 rode pass kallang KFC.. i had memories with korkor and him at there.. maybe i should head kor's advice tat time? guess i found my courage? i sms him.. guess he had been 1 mth and 19 days which i ever msg him again.. bt tat will be the very last le..

just like wat it stated in da vinci code.. past had been written as history.. it shall remains as history.. erm.. my hp will be in peace.. since my senior's friend had patch up with his gf.. congras..

louis's god sister.. candy.. got married le.. knew her for so long... now she got married le.. i am happy for her.. she changed a lot.. but i shall kept everything as secrets.. just can reveal tat she got hurt before but now she found her happiness and married a guy who she love.. i really feel happy for her..

these few weeks been quite busy.. guess my last post was when i went to momo and seeking help from nanny to call home... erm.. guess where i spent my labour day's eve? lol.. :P it is at work.. after tat went to catch a korean movie called recarnation.. as usual, i miss first part of the show which cost 9.50.. furthermore i took a cab down to tampines but luckily my colleague share with me... after the movie i had my dinner at macdonald.. tat day was like very rush.. been eating fastfood for morning, lunch and dinner.. sob sob... went to siok they all after coming back from tampines.. as usual.. we went for a drinking session.. hahaa.. :P so called i am drunk for two days and labour day was kbox time.. i went to chinatown to meet my colleagues for ktv session.. finally had a chance to taste the porridge over at chang jiang.. erm.. seriously,i only like the frog leg.. haha.. guess i am a bit cruel arh..

tuesday back to work... hai~~~ not to mention.. OT and OT and OT .... till wednesday.. while thursday nite suppose to attend boss wedding at oriental hotel.. hahaa.. but as usual... a bunch of workacholics are late!!! we reached there 5 mins before dinner starts.. hahaa.. or maybe my boss knows that we will be late.. in traditional rules, i shouldn't had attend the dinner but due to i got the invitation and seek for permission from boss.. therefore.. i went to attend the dinner.. hehee.. the food was ok not bad.. but the service was GOOD.. environment --> GOOD!!! but my pocket --> not good lah.. broke liao.. drink.. drink..play.. play.. work.. work.. dinner... --> BROKE!!! friday i went to catch another show call "When a stranger calls!!" hai~~~ my colleagues lah.. disturb me.. i miss first 5 mins of the show again.. hai~~~ but guess i am very tired le.. after the movie ard 11 plus.. i head back to home.. or maybe due to i had to work on election day...

ELECTION DAY!!! i am back to work.. hai~~ pple outside voting.. i go back to looks at bugs.. sob sob... so long never had a long long long long weekend le.. boss bought us old chang kee and herbal tea and coffee!!! hehee.. of cos still got fruits.. but i never ate it.. lazy.. lol.. :P supposingly tat day i should be at my granny's house instead of at work.. but guess work is more impt.. so this round.. i should to go to work and nt going there.. when i reached home, i am so tired.. i fell asleep at the sofa le.. not going anywhere.. when i wake up not long after, the election results is going to aanounce.. who wins or who lose. i still need to work.. is there anything different?? hai~~~ results wasn't like wat i expected.. something is missing... watever it is.. it is over now.. nothing matters anymore.. maybe i only hope tat pay will go UP UP UP while GST REMAINS n NOT RASISING AGAIN.. otherwise guess nextime i will nt dare to step inside restuarant le.. 10% service charge plus 5% GST is already a lot le.. if next 10% service charge plus X% of GST.. how AM I GOING TO SURVIVE???

Sunday... met yy and the guys for ktv session.. lol.. :P then ard afternoon time, they decided to go out for dinner.. in abt 5 mins time.. we got ard 6-7 pple.. hee.. not bad arh.. we met at tampines for dinner... supposely we tot tat we will be late... BUT we reached there much more earilier than anyone.. hai~~~ nt to mention, my friend had a quarrelled with her bf before coming down.. all of us had a long talk over at cafe cartel... hehe.. after 9pm.. there is 50% for cakes wor.. lol.. :P and the concept for cartel had changed..

**guess a failure in relationship shouldn't comment anything abt other pple's relationship.. .

Monday.. boss wasn't ard.. wahahaa.. :P of cos i am slacking all the way... and acting to solve problems.. then my colleagues was like dragging me to watch HOSTEL.. hhaa... :P haha.. my first RA movie.. lol.. :P erm.. first 10 or 15 mins really RA lah.. but at the back was the thrilling part.. guess luckily we packet our dinner as nachos and popcorns inside as dinner.. otherwise we might vomit all out.. we went to swensen for dinner.. wah piang... sunday cartel.. monday swensen.. really broke le.. hai~~~ black pepper spagetti was nt bad but a bit too oily le..

Tuesday.. back to work.. boss going to kill me le.. if i still dun solve problem.. but indeed i still haven solve my problem bcos i am running it on the wrong server!!! sob sob.. hai~~~ so many server till i also blur blur le.. had to work OT!!
if i am nt wrong.. i called senior when i reached home.. and ... sort of he is doing matchmaking job... hai~~~~~ i chatted till quite late on phone... ard 3 plus.. and I HOLD THE PHONE WHEN I AM SLEEPING!! jialat..

Wednesday... heheee.. kana suan by senior's friend.. sob sob.. but i managed to solve my problem.. and waiting to release results to user.. and bcos of tat i skipped a meeting.. hai~~~ of cos at nite, i called senior for a while.. then i knocked out le.. haha.. today is father's birthday.. planning to go no signboard to eat.. but they very poor thing.. wait for me till 8 plus.. sob sob.. guess i too practical le.. duno wat to buy.. give hongbao the best.. but he can't receive hongbao arh.. just pass him the money ba... one word .. BROKE!!!

Thursday... hehee.. due to my colleagues helping me out on wednesday nite.. of cos.. i can't abandon them althought i had clear everything on hand.. i stayed back to helped them out lor.. till ard 10pm... hehee.. stomach hungry le.. went to makan.. instead of meeting banana's they all.. guess they going to kill me le.. lol.. but really very hungry wor.. then still owe my colleague a birthday cake.. she always accompany to work till late nite.. so....

Friday.. went to ktv with the guys.. haha.. :P jialat.. i really bcome guy liao.. always go out with them.. lol.. :P at nite.. met yy, her , jojo and her bf and the guys for dinner.. we went back to tampines again.. but this time round is HANS!! kelvin came and joined us ard 10.. and take the tickets from me.. hai~~ tickets arh !!! u are giving me trouble arh!!! we went to play pool.. and shifu owe me a drink.. bcos we FINISHED OUR game before half an hour.. lol.. :P but i miss my MI3... I realise something.. JIL is still the best.. hehee.... ai si ni le.. no matter how.. one call to you.. u will always help me.. hehe... of cos still got mao mao lah...

today arh.. hahaa.. my gay friend ask me out today.. lol.. :P so sweet of him.. saying i hardly is free le.. now i am free.. u are not free.. sorry lah.. but ok lah .. he is mr nice guy... lol.. :P sunday went i am back from tampines.. he was asking online.. why u still dun want to go and sleep.. being kind enuff.. i tell him.. u never tell me granny stories.. how i fall asleep.. n he contiune he lame stories.. lol.. :P

yy asked me why i am always on the phone ytd.. haha.. maybe i found myself pier to lean against.. whaahaaa.. :P haha.. actually wanted to seek jil advice on it... but jil is very sweet lah... the first question he asked is .. "Why are you sad?".. hahaa...

min should be contented with wat she hads.. with the friendship she had built with her friend.. with her life.. with her parents.. with everything she had... she played ard.. she serious before.. she hurt herself before.. she stand up before.. she crazy before.. she.......... who is she now? wat is she now?

i took a long way to reach this state... i dunno.. i been yearning to know the truth from him.. but i know the truth hurts.. he won't want to tell me the truth.. or am i lying to myself again..can u tell me the truth.. pls...

hahaa.. guess i create this post is bcos of NANNY.... erm... although the day before had a quarrelled with nanny.. BUT he did a kind deed for me... by helping me to lie to my parents and helped me to call home.. and tell my parents, i am catching a movie which will end at 2am.. Thanks nanny... for tat... hai~~~~ maybe should have understand tat u miss your gf.. tat's why u throw your temper at me.. but i dun like to vent anger at me.. GUESS U SHOULD KNOW TAT RIGHT!!!!!!!!! hai~~~~~~~~ sometimes i think tat nanny is GOOD but there are times he is VERY EVIL!!! or maybe i dun know this person well.. or so called i dun understand anyone who is ard me including myself...

today went out in the night time to meet a friend... instead joining a gathering at a friend's house.. guess i rejected my this friend for quite sometime due to my hectic working schedule nowadays... therefore there is no excuces for me to reject it again... i joined her for dinner and only when i joined her.. she will call along her other friends too.. met 1 girl and 1 guy.. while the girl left after introducing ourselves.. hahaa.. the guy is a bit weird... omg... hope tat he dun see this... anyway i meeting them next week for movie but do u think i can make it?? HAHA.. i might nt be able.. lol.. :P depend whether my boss allows me to go home tat early.. hopefully tomorrow it won't spoilt my plans for shopping.. I need to get a dress for boss wedding.. :P

As usual a week had past.. time past so fast tat i couldn't remember wat had happened in the past... is that the truth?? hahaa.. last sunday had a long chat with senior till late morning ard 4 plus?? his words is still inside my mind which led me landed with not enuff sleep for the the first day of the week plus monday blues~~~

Senior : "You will nt forget the person when u kept talking abt him. I will know when u finally forgotten everything then it will be the time i tell u the truth. Even if u know the truth now, it will make you feel more worst."

As usual, i work till late nite... Boss told me "I want to do a review with you." Erm.. guess tat was not a gd idea as i dunno wat kind of nonesense i will said it out.. wahahaa.. But guess she saw us that busy, she had also forgotten she had a date with me to do my review. After work, i met naggy for movie. Guess it was pretty kind to wait for me for so long at central. Although he knocked off at 6.30, he had loitering ard till 9pm to meet me for movie. Plus maybe i force him to watch the movie ba.. When i am watching the movie, guess things been floating in my mind.. or maybe i nt sleep.. As usual... tears dropped.. guess naggy didn't know that i cried... i didn't take out any tissues... just let tears dry by its own.. I hope to be as strong as maria... After kelvin told me at After 8 was quite a good movie, been wanting to watch and FINALLY i managed to catch the show on Monday. Naggy actually suggesting to take cab home, but i choose not save money.. cos nowadays always OT and it led me to take cab home so often.. OT allowances bcome cab fare.. hai~~~~~

Tuesday.. had a long day... erm.. did i work OT tat day?? guess not.. i left office pretty early.. plus i am so tired.. but when i reached home, hehee.. feeel so awake... of cos i went online to play my pangya..

Wednesday.. my ex-friend been disturbing me nowadays to ask me to be his stead.. haha.. tat's funny... bcos i know him for too long le ba... plus we are nt suit for him.. Guess wat i will reply him ba... lol.. :P

Thursday... OT!!! Actually planned to hagen daz to have chocolate fundage.. haha.. guess i really need to vent everything out.. otherwise i will go crazy soon...

Friday.. went to Yishun for comsic bowling.. guess wat.. we left office ard 9... hahaa.. wat kind of bowling is this?? luckily managed to solve a bug before i left office.. but had to try it out on monday again.. hahaa... not to mention.. i share cab home with my boss... hai~~ of cos we had a chat in the cab... she said i am lucky to participate in this big .Net project. Seriously, she is quite true.. This is a very big .Net project. I can learned a lot of things from here.. she always pursed me to go for further studies.. don't just stop here... i must carry on.. and she hopes tat i can be more independent in work.. although my colleague is back frm taiwan but i still must take all the modules currently on hand.. and he will ignore me.. let me grow on my own unless i am in deep shit!!! hahaa.. when will all this end?? will i still contiune my contract or i will choose to further study?? hahaa... i went to apply SMU!!! After thinking tat my results wasn't tat good.. guess they will not accept me also.. boss asked me.. "Did u went to apply this time round?" Sorry.. didn't mean to tell lie... My reply was no... As my boss is graduate from NUS!! While NUS and SMU both are using different teaching method.. NUS is more on theory while SMU are more towards practical..Guess sooner or later, i will receive letter to reject me.. hai~~~~~ is ok... i dun mind le.. getting into this project, is one my achievements.. As i know this is one of the largest project in Asia, and i did benefits a lot although i did not had good basic.. Glad to know all my colleagues...

Had a quarrelled with naggy last nite on msn. He said i am very indecisive.. But i guess he is more worst than me. Being kind enuff, i asked him want to buy shaw tickets which is selling at 7.50 each and valid for a year. Guess wat his reply.. "dunno.. i had to wait for them to come back and decide.. " hai~~~ i am asking you not asking them. The tickets u can just buy and keep for one year, if u like it or just reject the offer. Guess this teaches me a lesson nanny is no longer the person i know!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DUN DISTURB PPLE WHEN HIS GF IS AWAY!!!!!!!! ONE WORD FOR NANNY "!@#$%^&*()*(^%$#@$%^%#@$%^&#$%!@#$%$%". Didn't ask anyone for tat offer also.. i tot since he is always so nice to me.. so maybe can help him to save a bit of money when he go on dates.. but ended up "@#$#$@#$@#$@#$#$#$#$#$$%$#%@#@#$@"... so FED UP!!!!!!

Guess tuesday, i go back office and try my luck to buy some tickets for myself.. YY if u all want, leave me a msg on tagboard ba.. i try to check whether is there any tickets left.. actually wanted to go back to office to work today but cannot wake up... hehee.. :P

SHAW tickets..
Price : $7.50
Valid till : 1 year from the day
Day : Any day of the week

erm...i am just doing a kind deed... so in case u all dun want to buy.. PLS DO NOT @#$%^@#$@#$%^. I Will nt accept any apologies or any idiotic trying to vent anger on me. DUN THINK U ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS IN THE BAD MOOD!!! I ALSO IN BAD MOOD LEH!!!!!!!!!

hai~~~~~ dun udnerstand why i like to sigh so much nowadays... but something i can find it out from my own behaviour.. is that i CHANGED!!!! i had bcome more and more out of mind..

Monday, Tuesday... been working OT as usual my colleague accompany me.. hahaa.. now my boss thinks tat when i am going..she will be going also.. or she will be going ... i will be going also.. didn't get to be so close with her last time.. when she joined my team than we know each other better..

Wednesday... guess she is getting more and more accept that when i did not have enuff sleep, i will bcome very high... erm.. tat's wat she been telling me.. and controlling me.. wahahaaa... :P Imagine that day.. three of us decided not to work OT and go off earlier.. one of my colleagues came down to find us to go out for dinner.. guess we had create a mess out of the room, tilll my boss said "Girls, tamn down a bit... is a bit noisy here.. " lol.. :P there we go... CRAZY~~~~~ we decided to go for crab... One of them suggest Dragon Gate at Habourfront. On the way to decide where to head for dinner, my the other colleagues said "There dun have crab.. ". It did change our thinking, wat if there is no crab? In the end, we still choose to go there... When we reached there.... we stand at the entrance pondering very long.. are we sure we want to go in? are we sure we have enuff money to walk out of the restuarant? are we going to wash dishes there? hahaa.. all the above are rubbish.. we stepped in and ordered 17 dishes in abt 1 and half hour time.. hahaa.. guess we are big eaters.. or bcos we are too stress or i am hiding my sadness?? hahaaa... after that.. i be very frank.. i tell them that i went to mos last thursday.. erm.. one of them had the kick of going to mos since is ladies nite.. hai~~~ we really create a fool over at the restuarant and in the train.. seriously tat day was fun... we headed to clarke quay after the meal.. though tomorrow need to work.. we still got the energetic to walk ard clarke quay to choose a pub.. and drink.. in the end, we headed to crazy elephants.. i order vodka martini.. my two colleagues ordered... sex on the beach and fruit punch.. erm.. mine was a bit too strong. .dare not to do wat i had done in mos.. just to drank finish without thinking.. otherwise.. i guess i will landed in a drunk state as i had never tried this before.. ard 12 plus we took cab home...

thursday.. jialat.. all of them know we had a redevenous dinner last nite.. haaha.. and we went pub.. all of them said we never jio.. hahaaa... seriously tat day didn't work really tat hard.. as mind was not really in a clear state.. bleah... was waiting to go for lunch.. during 11 plus.. went to take a packet of nuts frm kim.. tat day... i need to go to sizzler again due to boss set there as farewell lunch for two of my colleagus.. hai~~~ haven finish digest wednesday dinner... going to head for buffet again.. jia lat.. guess wat... i met kim there.. wahahaaa.... tried the spicy chicken.. it was gd... tat day was damn sleepy sia... not to mention.. we worked OT that nite again.. after work... we planning to go ms to eat cake... hahaaa.. :P in advance to celebrate my colleague's 21th birthday.. in the end, we left office ard 9.30.. guess it is too late le.. we head to city hall, bakerzinn... ordered 3 different desert and share.. jia lat... we really eat too much le...

friday... finally get my two sirs close after my boss urged me to call the users as often as possible to close it asap... seriously mentally and physically are collasping le... lol.. :P i met yy and shifu for dinner.. as usual i am late... hai~~ bcos of my user had a meeting at 5.. and it last till 6.20.. futhermore, i had to went up to her and pursuade her to close off the sir.. otherwise my boss will be come and msg early in the morning .... erm.. to prevent all this happened... i choose to be more persistance to ask her to close off.. wahaha.. shifu they all waited for me quite long.. actually i tot go marina square and have dinner.. next expect tat.. we ended up at harbourfront again... once again, i had the same kind of dinner again.. while this time round is different.. we had ... 25 dishes.. for the same price... omg... really too full le.... next we walked to sentosa... hahaa.. never pay entrance fees also.. and board a bus to silso beach... trying to walk t palawana beach but realise it was too dark... choose another alternative is to walk to silso beach.. while.. nothing much over there.. and it was quite late.. we toook bus back to terminal and board bus back to mainland... run all the way to catch the last train to head for a tea session at bedok.. hahaaa.. guess bcos of me.. both of them stayed to quite late.. erm.. guess a lot of them are surprised tat dramatic changes i had during these period... or maybe i scare them off.. just like my gd friend been asking me out for dinner.. but he can't make it on tat day.. .

guess i had close down my blog since he passed away... erm.. how long had i took for this time round? seriously i got no idea how long had i took.. time passes everyday while i thought i had a very long period of resting.. erm.. next tot tat the resting period was so short.. last few weeks been numbing myself in work... not to mention the coming days, i will get more and more busy until it had bcome more stable.. took a four days long leave and slightly more a bit, landed myself with tons and tons of work to finish work.. seriously, went i went back to work.. i almost been working ot everyday only till abt one thursday evening, i went orchard with kim.. Try the mango that she recommend me, it was pretty not bad.. plus i bought a lot of breads tat day.. on the way home, kim got a call from carina.. we had a date to watch running wild on friday nite.. although boss dun want to give me a tough period after seeing how down am i for the past few days, i trying my best.. to finish up stuffs on hand... erm.. but time just doesn't stop for me nor them.. management gave us a very short dateline to finish stuffs on hand.. guess i am old enuff, dun let them to have a hard time and delay everyone work.. work damn hard on friday, till i almost miss the movie.. i miss abt 10 mins of the show.. after the movie, we took cab home.. roughly reached home ard 2 plus... sob sob...

actually the next day wanted to go guang ming shan to do tomb sweeping.. but i need to go back to office to finish my stuffs. coincidently, my auntie need to go back to work also... wondering is it bcos my grandpa wants me to go? that's why my aunt need to work on that day... hai~~~ boss gave me a very 'early' morning asking for my status update.. asking whether am i ok or not?? how come i never email him update at all?? hai~~~ maybe he scare i will collaspe again or cried again or breakdown again.. bcos it was very scarely when i cried and work at the same time.. maybe last friday i shouldn't had gone back to work.. of cos tat day, i stayed in office until 5 plus.. really going to bcome panda le..

sunday, i went to guang ming shan with mummy.. daddy can't go due to he just lost his father.. reached there ard 2 plus.. due to he come back late to fetch us.. hai~~~ when i reached there, sad to said i saw ............... going for ceremate... hai~~~ of cos my mind been floating with other stuffs... maybe we and my grandpa ties are thicker, if i didn't remember wrongly.. i never saw anyone breakdown nor tears rolling down.. as recalled on that day, most of my cousins cried like mad... but my eldest cousin, he is the strongest... he looked after all of us and asked us dun cried le.. i admire him.. he never dropped any tears at all though he is close with him.. but definitely he feel very painful deep inside his heart.. bcos my grandpa brought him up.. he always brought us to swimming or go play.. or go pasir ris... hai~~~~ that day, my uncle brought up the story of my maternal grandpa.. of cos, i get to know more abt him..

Monday to Thursday, i had been working OT practically everyday and took cab home.. Erm.. got a colleague nt bad... she accompany me everyday..though she dun need to stay.. quite touch lah.. we went to have dinner at sizzler which is at toa payoh.. hehee.. had a full dinner due to we got coporate discounts.. wahahahaa.. :P erm... the day before bulldog msg me asking me to go ms to eat cake.. i was wondering is he crazy? hahaa.. tat day my phone was bombed by him.. and of cos just like my primary friend said as usual i am late.. when i reached there, i still couldn't believe tat i am going ms to have cake.. when i wanted to go back home, i called ed.. he pass the phone to bulldog.. he said.. organise this outing is for u leh.. diao... no choice.. i dropped off at newton just to take cab down to ms... hai~~~ no cab.. then take bus to orchard to take cab .. again no cab!!!! yy actually went home le.. but bcos of me.. she went down again`~~~ hai~~~ then i met her at clarke quay mrt station.. followed by taking cab down to meet them.. we feel so weird... i had been laughing throughout the whole journey.. i still couldn't believe that we are going there.... i drank quite a lot tat day... guess all of them know how i feel le.. cos tat day i spilled out everything.. before i went there.. shifu already called me and check on me.. see whether how am i le.. i called my gd friend to come and join us but too bad he already reached home le.. that nite.. after yy and bulldog left.. me, ed and one of my primary schoolmates... were standing there waiting for cab.. the most comical thing is that we are waiting for citycab bcos it is cheaper.. and in the end we miss 4 city cab.. hahaa.. rofl... we had our supper at joo chiat roti prata shop which nanny brought me there before.. ard 2 plus.. we walked home.. hai~~ when i am there.. my heels already spoiled le.. so i hurt my leg on the way home.. guess i fell asleep ard 4 plus... damn... i had to work on the next day though is public holiday.. erm.. gain something.. get to know my primary schoolmate better.. though we seldom talk when we come out... wahaahahaa.. not a bad guy.. quite a nice guy.. too bad.. let him see the down side of me.. aiya.. forget something.. bulldog had tell the whole world i am badly down.. hai~~~~~

good friday, i went back to work.. a bit bad tempered.. erm.. guess not a bit.. is very bad-tempered.. suppose to go back at 10.. i reached there ard 11plus.. hai~~ of cos my colleague accompanied me till 8 plus.. very sweet hor?? but when i tot of ytd how kevin bluff us.. i really want to laugh.. guess next time round.. nobody will dare to go ms to eat cake with him... he still dare to ask me to go there again.. when i am totally collaspe in physically.. after tat thursday long nite..

sat.. had a long rest.. suppose to meet my cousin.. but i am too tired to go out.. guess she was a quite angry with me.. but i dunno how to reject her.. as i had told myself.. no matter wat.. i tried to say yes to them.. hai~~~ in the morning, my gay friend msg me out for dinner.. lol... hai~~ nobody was free to go.. in the end, we cancelled le.. he said if got anything hor, just give him a call.. sweet hor?? even though he gt gf le, when he dun need to work on sat.. he will try to keep us accompany... or ask us out for dinner.. when we asked him out for dinner.. he will always said yes... but we felt guilty as he is working nite shift... hai~~~~

sun... met two friends for dinner.. of cos i won't miss the chance to eat sashimi.. so long never eat le... had a quite long chat with them ba... hai~~~~ sometimes i think tat even a xiao didi is much more stronger than i do... xiao didi thinks i need to go mph more often.. bcos last week he saw me was when i am very bad shape and almost cried in front of them.. then this week he saw me was like ok le.. but on the way home.. he tell me.. life is tat cruel.. just let go of everything..

at nite when i reached home, i went into friendster.. saw korkor pic.. suddenly miss him so much tat my tears dropped down le.. korkor changed le.. as usual.. he is still tat yandao... but now he is having more and more bfs... if last time i listened to him, will i still ended in such a situations? or i will find myself a better way...

in this funeral, i get myself to bcome closer with my cousins again.. today they msg me... asked me whether i want to join them for hongkong tour or not.. hai~~~~

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

i msg shifu that day when i never turned out for dinner.. shifu told me.. if u never tell other pple how u feel, how would they know.. shifu.. i trying my best le.. but i failed le.. i dunno how long can i stand.. in front of everyone, i trying my very best for the past few years not to shed a single tears no matter of wat is happening.. guess now i gradually start to collapsing.. i avoid all calls and msg.. i need a break.. pple expects a listening ear when they need..wat abt me.. who can lend me a listening ear.. nowadays i felt more and more painful.. guess i really need a break away from everyone...dun blame me.. i need time to recover.. i won't be there to listen to any love story.. or giving any advices le.. bcos now she is lost..

i feel tired.. dun ever asked me abt friends.. guess maybe i am very selfish.. but i feel very tired le.. guess maybe i hoping to see like ester they all shower me with caring ba.. bcos at home.. been struggling nt to drop a single tears in front of my parents.. of cos outside hopes tat everything will work..

at work.. dun dare to deny tat boss did give me all the help she can le.. guess is time for me to buck up..

as for friends..seriously i dun dare to ask for too much .. maybe just a dinner or just a concern.. or maybe i am too greedy le.. or i haven found someone who understand me well.. felt so painful today..

ytd met a quite gd friend for dinner.. he brought me to a cafe called miss clarity.. erm.. they food there nt bad.. and considered quite cheap. 1 set meal only cost $8.80..i told him a story between me and someone else who gave min this nickname.. seriously in the life of min, she met a lot of pple.. guess she give pple a mystery feelings, pple might said i know u too well.. i dunno whether is tat truth, bcos she herself dun even know who is she deep..

i met creater of min when i first entered poly... dun need to say.. everyone know abt him including my parents plus my cousins.. everyone known him as 'ATM', caring, super nice guy.. mum always nagged at me said i am too fierce towards him... hahaa.. of cos not to be surprise.. i got him and jil to help me when i am in first year poly... i can't deny both of them are good.. but maybe fate is fooling me.. i ended to like one of them.. of cos jil had bcome my jiefu but he and jiejie broke up last year le.. guess everyone are nt surprise by the ending of the story between min n him. hahaa... he got to know min personal life too.. the friends tat min always hang around.. though he did not meet them before.. of cos he got to know some of them also... both of them had put a full stop in story. guess he did left me a very sweet moments as well as the cold war which i hate it a lot..

i met my nanny when i lost my cousin.. supposely to meet them after work at cartel..i ended up with ester they all for drinking session.. of cos some other stuffs too(not very gd to mention them sia.. ) i had my supper at mr bean instead of ba chou mee at joo chiat.. Suppose to meet them when i reached home but i turned out to fly aeroplane.. therefore of cos i got the naggings and etc.. and kana sabo by them.. someone appearing at my back when i was talking on the phone.. though i am a bit drunk, i can still remember everything vividly. i told him i am going home to vomit.. guess tat time was ard 3 plus.. or 4 plus.. in the morning.. of cos once i reached home, i vomit out everything and took a bath.. finally back to bed.. guess i msg them before sleep bcos they are still playing daidee at downstair.. hahaa.. he defintely bcome a nice guy in my dictionary which is i never told him tat before.. guess tat will wat yy thinking abt.. though she never asked me abt... he helped me to print my resume when i am going for interview the day before.. therefore he got to know my school life.. guess he is nt the first one... someone before him actually edited my resume long time ago when resume suppose to be assignment.. delivery of prata during my chalet when i seeking help.. anyway he always on the way mah.. haha.. but of cos we waited for prata until we almost fall asleep..

maybe min is just a very innocent girl or in another way round she hopes to land into a fairy tale story.. guess the first person had teaches her a lesson.. when someone being so nice to u.. it doesn't mean anything.. just tat he is throwing his sypamthy towards u.. of cos.. she chose nt to have anything with the second guy.. bcos she know he is a very nice guy.. (hahaa.. guess it should be another way.. the guy won't fall her.. bcos she is like pocupine (who hurts pple when pple touches her).. )

while another bunch of pple who will going to be my colleagues.. not to mention my two bosses from different company.. i might considered myself lucky tat i landed up in this team. they are a bunch of happening guys and girls plus very energetic.. they did give me the forces to go back to work and trying to make myself stronger.. thank you everyone..

seriously min considered herself very lucky.. she always got someone to help her or pull her up when she at her down side of life.. last time ester they all to help her to relieve stress after school.. of cos the negative side was to take cab from toa payoh back to home.. now.. she will try to walk alone in the further of her story...

can said tat min had lose herself in this incident.. seriously it come too suddenly tat min can't even react to the reality..

i shall contiune my story from here... last thursday, we sent him thru his last journey. we followed the traditional chinese custom, he was ceremated instead of buried.. we wore socks on our feet and walked all the way to parkway parade.. then we boarded a bus to mandai... first reached mandai, my feeling was "WOW, so high tech sia.." The atmosphere changed immediately.. we proceeded to hall 3.. they even had notice to inform pple who will be using the hall.. the priest conducted his last ceremony before the coffin is heading to ceremate room.. after that we headed to viewing gallery to see grandpa for the very last time.. when the coffin was on the machine slowly moving.. we all burst into tears and kept calling our grandfather or father.. the door closed.. while there is a crazy guy took a pic of wat happened in the room.. i wondering is he crazy.. can't he see tat all of us are down.. that is nt the right moment to take pic.. everyone collasped at the moment when we proceed out of the viewing hall.. everyone cried... we removed our socks and 'dai xiao'... wear back our slippers and board the bus back to grandma's house.. she did not follow us to mandai..... we had our lunch there.. everyone of us had to use "flower water" to wash our face and hair. after tat use scissor to cut away part of our hair.. after tat, we went up to grandma's house.. of cos bills defintely come after next.. the most scarely thing is tat i dunno a funeral cost tat much.. it is like a bomb... total expense = ard 31K.. omg.. only five days... hai~~~ guess it is just a respect from them to their father..

today is my grandpa's birthday.. on sat, i went over to granny's house.. she mentioning tat grandpa actually planned to have steamboat this coming weekend.. but everything is too late.. he had already gone to somewhere far away from us... when i am small, we always go east coast udmc seafood there for dinner whenever grandpa or grandma celebrating mother's day or father's day or birthday.. now.. last year, we went to bedok there for dinner.. my cousin bought a cake for him on tat day.. tat day was the first time tat we had cake during birthday celebration..

life is always full of turning point.. my grandpa did actually help me to turn my point of life.. during PSLE tat year, i actually fall sick during PSLE period.. never expect to go to which stream or which seconday schools.. i got into my fourth choice which is BN.. dun ask me why i choose there.. i dun even know.. my parents started to get worry and they decided to get me out of there and changed to the sec school which is nearer to me.. actually my application was being rejected.. but somehow he got me into tat seconday school.. and my life changes from tat moment.. i got to know the bunch of buddies.. (though i admit they are really very guai.. ) i got edusave every year.. (this is a surprise bcos i dun study hard..) if without him, i would be able to know this bunch of friends.. or maybe my life will turn out another way..

things didn't went the same especially the last day of the funeral. priest was going around the coffin and we followed him behind.. he covered the coffin and there go my grandpa.. everyone start crying

friday.. though i was falling sick, i still went to work... though i got mc, i never submit.. i was struggling with my work and my tears dropped.. jialat.. guess maybe when i am sick, i am very emotional.. after work, i went marina bay to find yy they all for steamboat.. then after tat, we headed home..

saturday...feel so sick.. but i took medicine... during afternoon, grandpa admitted hospital... as all of us know, he had already reached the last stage of cancer... when i saw him tat day, he had already lost all his strength... he can't walk anymore.. bounded to the bed... he had a full dinner tat nite.. he was so pale..

sunday.. he passed away in the morning le... ard 10 plus.. when hospital called my dad, they told him faster come and see him for the last time.. when i woke up, is already 1... then we rushed down to my granny's house... they just came back from hospital, everyone cried until very jialat... the funniest thing is i never dropped a tear.. but i just feel very stunned.. been shivering for the whole day... a lot of us, still couldn't react to wat the reality had hitted us. my dad cried.... he always very respect his father.. now he passed away.. guess it is a very big blow for him.. the only thing now i can do is to look after my parents...

tomorrow will be going back to office to apply for leave.. guess tuesday will be back to work.. then wednesday n thursday take leave again..

erm.. this week...quite ok, not like wat i expected but there are times i am still blur blur.... lol... :P guess my brain had been stop functioning.. now need to get my brain to wake up, wake up...

friday, i went to have a drink at balcony with my friends... was pretty nt bad.. but maybe i felt a bit bored or bcos i dun like to sit on high chairs.. or maybe i prefer it to have a live band... hehee...

sat, went to IT fair.. heheee..spent quite a lot bcos i bought myself a LCD... lol... guess changing of phone must postpone le.. otherwise this mth, i am broke....

hehee...later going to catch shaggy doggy... lol... :P

Announcement

chou gary...told me he will tell me the story but idiot.. never tell me..hai~~~~~
HE GOT A GF LE!!!! Things getting more and more mystery... getting more and more blur... guess i am old le... But congras lah.. of cos i want to see how your girl girl looks like... lol.... :P next time u are dead... i will ask u more abt her.... bleahz... :P

hehee.. my gd friends seems like all at the suddenly all attached.. except yy,kaiwong,kelvin, soo yuan (i think he should be soon too le... )...lol.. :P
wo zhu fu ni meng... :)

yy u all must jia you.. faster find one also... heheee..

chou anton, suan me...said i am like a baby... .arg!!!!!!!!

ok... they all quite sweet.. consider luckily tat i gt this bunch of friends... :P

caught a korean movie today... i realise that it had a very sweet plot. erm.. wat it came across my mind was "when will i have such a sweet ending of relationship?" min never learnt to cherish things ard her... only when the very last min or when things started to disappear in her life... seriously life do give me a very big impact... saw things between jiefu and jiejie... are u all still friends?? guess nope ba.. seems like nothing maintaining the same, just me standing alone in the rain.. hoping tat things dun change.. things will be always the same.. who dun like to be shower with pamper and care.. just tat the person who shower u with pamper and care, is he the right one? is he the one u looking for? nobody knows it only at the moment u decided to proceed to another stage with him ba.. as for me, i can't even overcome the barrier of the death.. how can i overcome the rest.. a bit feel discomfortable as i do not know when the worst is occuring. Everyday been living in mystery, i will never know wat is happening next. guess i am sick and tired of this kind of life...

monday was down...hai~~~ sad sia... morning already feel very giddy but never expect a lunch at japanese resturant made me felt worst.. vomitted all the food i ate.. hai~~~guess my brain had stopped at the point when i vomitted twice.. trying to act strong but nothing seems to work... at the end, finally asked my reporting officer for urgent leave and took cab to see doctor...

doctor : "How are u feeling today?"
min : "I vomitted twice today?"
doctor : "HAR!!!!!!!!! Are you pregnant???"
min : "OMG!!! No no!!! just tat my gastric is too acidic for the past one week"
doctor : "oic, let me have do a check up for u. Don't eat spicy, oily food.. Best is to eat kuay teow soup or plain porridge."
doctor : "Why u come so late to see doctor?"
min : "bcos i work.... "
doctor : "ok... i give u two days of mc. Take a gd rest at hm"
min : "ok... thanks doctor"

I stepped out of the room and walked to the pharmacy to drop my prescription. While waiting at the counter to make payment. I saw the MC and was written as TEO XXXX XXXX.. OMG!!!! Luckily i never blur blur and leave the clinic. I went back to ROOM 13, knock at the door and inform her tat she give me a wrong mc. wat she said is sorry and reprint my mc.. heng.. never submit to my head, otherwise i will ask for questioning le. Actually wanted to ask whether did she gave me the wrong medicine but in the end i forget abt it.. while making payment at the counter, the counter lady kept complaining that she couldn't see well at the screen... doh...

** Next time when u go polyclinic to see doctor, though it is cheaper and it takes u abt 1 hour to see doctor. REMEMBER to check your receipt, MC and medicines carefully!! in case the doctor makes a mistake...

When i am in office, kim came down and visit.. i feel so touched.. thanks.. wo ai si ni le.... :)

actually this weekend, planning to have buffet with them but guess i will nt go... dun really feel like eating much nowadays... but this weekend, i want to go IT fair... who want to pei wo go?? guess nobody ba.. maybe i go alone.. hahaha... :P impossible... min nt tat independent.. is either she find someone to go with her or she will never go alone.. lol.. :P

as for next week... my colleague going for reservice.. things started to come towards me... hahaa... i am like a newborn baby.. i dunno anything... i planned to revise everything tomorrow... will tat be possible?

monday... fall sick.... on mc..
tuesday... supposely to be on mc.. but bcos they going bbq... i chose to go to work of BBQ... hahaa.. but gastric did nt stop me from eating... guess wat is to eat medicine... lol.. and i drink.... but when i reached hm... omg...gastric starts to give me problem...
wednesday... nthing much happened... went back hm ard 8 plus... bcos of ****** (my company's name) superstart... my colleague partcipate in the competition.. no choice lah... must support mah... guess my team is super happening sia... but i nt really tat close with my colleagues..
thursday... actually my colleague they all planning to have paris international buffet at nite... but had cancelled it due to one of them need to work late... erm... ended up i worked late too.. no choice... got to eat medicine to tahan liao... and my colleague starts to hand over things to me.. (omg.. tmr neeed to revise le.. otherwise my short-term memory will starts to forget things... )
friday...actually wanted to meet kelvin,yy and winston they all... but felt very tired... bcos of thursday late nite... therefore i headed hm to sleep... lol... :P
saturday... met my friend for shopping, movie spree... shit... i m spending a lot today... i had japanese ice-cream today..yummy... is a new shop open at marina square.. joyce caught me at ms but guess my eyes got problem lah... i didn't see her at all... guess she must be there with her boiboi... i actually dated xiao didi out for sashimi... lol.. :P yy said tat someone is addicted to sashimi...to be frank, my gastric can't take take spicy and too acidic stuffs.. but i am still having it... lol..guess one day, i will fall sick soon.... i took cab after i left orchard... guess wat... the guys are bullying me... they said i was late for an hour.. erm..

Time : 9pm
Venue : Parkway

Time tat i reached
Time: 10pm
Venue : Parkway, Mos burger...

omg... start to get nagging (predicted) sob sob.. my heels spolit le... yy even more worst than me.. she reached there at 10.45.. i guess this bunch of pple getting more and more worst.. always come out so late.. then xiao didi always take cab hm... hahaa.... :P next week, they planning to eat international buffet...

erm... from the first day of CNY, my eyelid been blinking.... today it is getting worst....wat does tat means??
mum's birthday is round the corner while i still have no idea wat to get for her.. sian...

Last sat, went over to somewhere to stay... hahaa... :P i guess i need a break... had a gd resting time and massage over there..

Sun, was a day to have a fresh start... Spent quite a lot of gocceries bcos i accompany mum's to supermarket... plus she bought a pot of orchid... approximate spending ard $100....

Monday
As the start of the day, i had already spent $33 on medical. SHIT!!!!!! Was being asked to watch my diet for the next few days.... sob sob... gastric giving me big problem... the doctor said no curry, no chilli(omg,i eat chilli often leh... )... guess no alcoholic drinks also le...only can eat porridge... tomorrow they going bbq...sob sob... can i eat?? will my gastric take it...

------------------------------------------------
korkor 2 - know him thru louis... hehee... he is very sweet wor..
ytd out of the suddenly, he msg me... told him i am sick.....
he bcome very caring and very sweet.. hehee... :) thanks korkor for coaxing me...

while i msg the other friend for help... he used to be very caring towards to me.. sob sob.. he never reply my msg.. guess wo meng nian peng you duo zuo bu liao le... why u want to lie to me tat u will always be there for me when i need u... hai~~~~~~
hao lei arh... hao lei arh... u been thru me so many things... yet now... ni sheng ye bu jiang jiu zuo le... wo heng ni!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today supposely to meet kim.. but her friend fail her paper..therefore we had a final decision not to meet up today... since it had been a long time tat i ever met my cousin, i sms her out for dinner.. haha.. she agreed and meet me at woodland.. the feeling of going there is totally different.. but nothing over there also.. had cavana for dinner.. the food was pretty not bad..

as for work, my colleague will be going for his reservice soon and i have to cover part of his work.. omg... ME?? why me?? seriously until now i am still in my wonderland... today actually should have debug a program..ended up.. i only spot one nt tat critcal error... my colleague was being call back though he is at training.. so paiseh.. when the sir is closed.. .boss and he said good work... erm?? wat i done?? scarficing my lunch?? or ??? hai~~ i wondering can i survive thru apirl or not...

as for friendship.. kor called me on tuesday morning... when i am still sleeping.. yawn~~~i am pretty tired due to late working hours on monday.. guess wat he told me.. he met him.. (at the moment, i feel nothing... no feelings at all.. )guess as time passes... feelings can be fade away... should i find one and starts another one?? haha... i am someone who enjoys pamper.. erm... guess not ba.. .learn hw to take care of myself first ba.. still got a few more mths to the downfall of the whole family.. dun wish to play with fire now.. later i can't balance both side... then how?? by then. who can lend me a helping hand ...

erm..... nowadays been meeting up with my buddies.. always got a few of us...
most of time kl, winston and me will go parkway to buy sashimi.. can said tat nowadays i had a crave for sashimi..

friday, went to sy's 21th birthday.. as usual... i am late... and everyone is waiting for me to cut the cake.. omg.. i felt so embrassed.. immediately i find a corner to hide.... tat taxi uncle did actually advice me to go by PIE.. KPO lah!!! choose ECP!!!!!! arhg!!!!!! go by a big round... then no choice... all my allowance go to cab fare... the most shit thing is i haven finish my work... guess monday sure kana nag liao.. hai~~~~ no choice.. if i can wake up early, then go to work earilier to clear up ba...

sat.... been really tired, guess is bcos i played game till quite late on friday nite... woke up ard 11 plus... planning to go back to office to clear up the stuffs... but really very tired.. these few days been going hm late.. therefore i felt so relunctant to go back.. final decision.. not going back to work.. and stayed at hm to rot. woke up ard 5 plus... actually wanted to jio ester go drink.. hahaa.. but sad to said she never reply my msg.. then went online to post the previous msg..
winston they all are online... asked them out for coffee.. hahaa.. :P and i found out tat they had actually knew tat my gd friend aka banana had a BF.. BCOS SHE IS BEING CAUGHT AT BUGIS!!! HAAHAA!!! She is having a sweet honeymoon now wor... :)
I met the guys and yy for coffee at parkway... as usual, i went to buy sashimi.. jialat... is time to stop... ex sia... ard 10 plus... my gd friend brought her bf down... maybe bcos is the first time we saw him... we are all belong to quite shy pple... tat situation didn't mix well... plus just now at coffee bean, i had bcome a listener to listen other pple's relationship etc.... erm... when i bcome a consultant in relationship?? Maybe a failure gains more experienced... haha.. :P or maybe nowadays i always hang out with them.. kana influnce by them?? After the pool session, yy and kevin went hm due to budget constraint.. while banana n her bf went back home earlier due to curfew... and it left with me and my 3 buddies... my suggestion was to have a chat... hahaa.. we really went for a chat... at first, we target to stop at 12.30... tick tock... tick tock... 1 plus liao... winston posted out a question "Why nt both of you stay at my house?" Both of them agreed.. and we went to buy drinks and contiune till 2am... This outbreak our records... even though at chalet, we dun even have this kind of heart to heart talk before... maybe it proven that our friendship are stronger now.. we can lean on each other when we are sad?? am i right to say tat?? never regret to know this bunch of buddies... though there are more guys than girls... hahaa... tat is the past i had... mixing with different bunch of pple... and i landed up with them.... thanx pals.... hopefully tonite my words are nt too hurting...

Guess i had to explain why i decided to close down the blog....... why i decided to bring it back.. tat nite when i decided brought this blog bcos of my gd friend... she suddenly msg me... asking me.. are u alright? remembered tat i am always for you.. thanks for your word.. really touches my heart deep inside..

As for why i want decided to close this blog... Seriously, min nowadays getting more and more weak.. getting herself numb in work... most of time she been working till quite late or maybe she really have ton of things waiting for her.. or maybe her tears is dropping more than she thoughts.. Too many things pondering in her head..

When she took up this job, she was wondering she might be able to accomplish someone's else dream. But she never knew it is so tought.. My boss was asking me... "If next week, i throw u with more work. Will you quit?" The answer i had in my heart was no.. But i duno how my determination will sticks with me. Very hard to said, i might nt be able to take it. Am i really tat good to deal with programming? Why i am in programming this line? I think my programming sucks..

As for family, i am always being shower love by my parents and my beloved aunts and uncles (mother's side). I am not close with my father's side after my primary school days.... Maybe i am a bit very selfish to celebrate my 21th birthday when my grandpa was still in hospital and i never invite my relatives at all. After so many mths, heart hurts more and more often especially at chinese new year's eve. Maybe i shouldn't be tat kpo to ask abt my grandpa's condition. Now he is just taking injections once every two weeks to fight with cancer. To be very frank, he is at the last stage of cancer. If i didn't remember wrongly, i knew it after i came back from my chalet... He only left with 6 mths when he discharge.. and now he roughly left with 2-3 mths... been really down tat day on cny's eve... been trying very hard to bring back myself after cny's eve...

As for relationship, i been a totally failure... i did try very hard to forget abt him and gradually i had lost contact with him. Guess we had nt been really contact for almost a year. I will always remember those very sweet memories. Whenever i received a msg from him, it will always be the time he going to board the plane and left sg. Still remembered wat u told me before... when u graduate, u hope to go overseas to work.. Good luck..

As for friends aka my buddies, thanks... there is nothing much, i want to said.. thanks for always being there for me.. but dun blame me tat why i dun want to share.. maybe being too long with u all.. i really dunno how to said it out... tat day when we having lunch at MS... my mood is nt very gd.. u all did cheer me up.. thanks.....

Feel really tired to struggle in this kind of life.. but i believe i will turn the situation back..

erm... Something i did not add in.......... Kor is back.............
he been asking me about him...... didn't really wan to answer tat.. but i know he will be there for me when i need him can le.. dun dare to ask for too much.. bcos kor and him are my best buddies.. guess two of you know me too well le....... till slowly u all leave in my memories..

i saw jil aka jiefu last sat at bugis.. normally, i will pick up my phone and msg him.. but i did not.. and choose to walk away.. when i am at the bus-stop, i sense tat u are there.. but i duno whether my sixth sense is correct or not.. Guess the mystery between the four of us should have stop.. and everyone is walking towards different direction..........

On CNY's eve, i went to watch to fearless. It doesn't seem to be ended as a happy outing.

CNY first day, went to grandparents house. Guess this year, i break the traditional rules. I gave red packets to my grandparents instead of them giving to me. Therefore can consider as i am quite poor.. plus tat day, i lose 30 plus to my cousins. Can u imagine tat i gamble till headache and went back home to sleep... hahaaa.. :P guess the day before cried too much...

CNY second day, went to my auntie's house. AGAIN break the rule, my grandma received a hongbao from me which cost $50. Guess this year i am broke, young lady just came out to work yet had to give out almost $100 of hongbao for two days... luckily i haven get married yet.. hahaa.. :P

On the third day, i met my buddies... sad to said, banana is LATE!!! Yawnz~~~~ i woke up at 10 and slept at 2 plus.. seriously, i am pretty tired tat day when i went out... it was considered as very early for me..... met win downstair and took bus with him.. therefore i am not late.... hahaha!!!!!!!!! Finally i had a chance to eat at Changing Appettite. The food consider nt bad.. i liked the grilled sotong which i took from soo yuan.. tried joanna's teriyaki chicken --> ok lah ... but the drink she ordered was considered as VERY big portion for her.. Too bad my girlfriend, Mr Gary, fled off the next day.... She very bad sia, always jio me go drinking..

On the fourth and fifth day, back to work till almost dead.. always left office reaching 9.... Hai~~~ should have left at 9, then i claim.. but... nvm lah..

On the Sixth, took a half day leave... Grandpa was back to hospital...... while i brought mum to sentosa flowers 2006.. guess everyone are tired and need a rest.. so brought her out to walk walk.. though i will be going there the next day also...

On seventh, met almost all my cousins to sentosa.. This is the first time tat most of us can make it on time. AND SUPRISING!!! I managed to reach there the earilest. SHIT!!! I walked ard World Trade Centre alone!! Guess wat! IT WAS AN EARLY OUTING!!!! Seriously, i really bcome panda already... 10am at world trade centre and went to had macdonald breakfast.. We took quite a lot of photos, guess i will be developing the photos soon... After tat outing, all of us went back home to sleep.. BUT as for me, i went to bugis to meet my mum and my aunt to accompany them to temple.. Very coincident, i met my uncle and aunt while my mum was having her lunch.. Followed by my aunt's husband.. Erm.. how come it had bcome so coincident.... and i had to follow 5 adults to selegie to see the draw of 4d results. Followed by Chingay 2006 at orchard.. my mum and i left ard 8 due to i am completely exhausted.........

On the eight, i met win and KL for dinner.. We went to Kallang Airport for Western Food.. Heee.. Too bad, yy was having nite shift while kaiwong nt feeling well...the rest of them are either too far or they need to book in..... After tat we went to Parkway to buy sushi and we bought sashimi.. WOW~~~ Tat's my favourite.. Seriously, i really love it..... We had a long chat downstair till raining heavily and i even met my ex-colleague.. hahaa... :P

They planned to have yu sheng this coming friday.. wahaha.. dun worry... i will help u all to finish the sashimi.. while u all have the vegetable... hahahaaa... :P

2006 / 02 / 05
心情指數：
心　　情： 今天特別希望能有人了解你。
愛　　情： 不要老是疑神疑鬼，會把情人逼瘋。
財　　運： 買個小禮物情人，讓兩人的感情加溫。
工　　作： 適時伸出援手，拉進同事間的關係。

Imagine i had been staring at the PC for half an hour thinking abt wat should i post? Happy or Sad memories/moments? Guess maybe i am too tired, i need a rest or a break... or maybe step out of sg for a while... Things been changing every moment, while my mind tends to stop at a certain period of time. Deep inside me, there is a very sharp pain tat will hurts me once in the blue moon. Things never had go well these few years. No matter wat happened, i had already struggled thru. But i started to realise tat i had bcome a stranger to myself. Been asking myself, who am i? I believe tat the next few months will be the toughest month tat i will be going to encounter for this year. Hate and Love makes me really very restless and tired... While as for work, guess is time for me to be more serious.

You really make me very troubled.. I hate you but my heart become soften. Is it bcos you are fighting with the time now? or is the sharp pain tat causes my tears to roll down so easily and felt so troubled.