dilemma

haiz~~ recently met a dilemma problem.. haiz~~ this is a tackle problem.. which i dun even know how to solve.. haiz~~ quite useless hor~~ so old liao~ yet still cannot handle this kind of problem.. haiz~~ sian!!! is worst than my work.. hahaahaaa..

Tendering?

hahahaa.. Surprisingly... After one year plus hor~~ i had this kind of thinking..

Demoralize

haiz~~~ sian~~ ytd just had my exams, what the hell.. This paper is damn screw up, i think i am gone for this paper... haiz~~ before my exams, i had a premonition that all my friends passed for this module and i am the only failure. haiz~~ guess this going to happen.. haiz~~ this paper is indeed a screw up for me sia~~ haiz~~ i always tot my maths is good.. BUT WAT THE HELL.. such a disappointment..i dunno how to do linear graph~~~ KILL ME BA~~ haiz~~ sian~~ had to face the facts.. 1.6k flyaway.. now still need to face the facts, i am going to fail.. haiz~~ sian~~ next time nobody accompany me to study le~~ haiz~~ so sian~~

min arh min.. U ARE SUCH A DISGRACE SIA!!!!

Career?

Hahahaaaa.. After i had changed company for 1 years plus, i attended a company event today. Pretty Surprise? I feel home over here. Hahaa.. :P But i need to brush up my communication skills and confidence plus my connection.

Erm, any regrets of joining yr current company? or thinking to change of career path or thinking of looking for a new job opportunities. Hahaa... At the moment, i guess nope. I am contented with what i had now. Sometimes dun be greedy; when you asked for more, for me: i will always fall down and hurt myself. Wahahahaa.... Seems like very pessmistic. Life is like a roller coaster, there is always ups and down, otherwise u will NEVER learn to cherish or to be contented with what you had in life.

Of cos, in every job, there is politics, depends on whether is it obvious or not obvious. But i guess i choose to ignore it. As for currently, i just hopes to finish my studies co-currently doing at a moderate standard of my work. But of cos, is not easy to handle, especially based on my mischievous character. Sometimes work too hard, i would like to go for a break. But the leave that i took every month, is making damn pai sei.. I will try to compensate whenever i am not schooling. Maybe my boss do not knows that sometimes i tend to work late to get my things completed. Just like when you reach office early, everybody will knows. When you are last person to left the office, nobody will knows. But i think my immediate supervisor knows that, sometimes i will work until very late. There are times he told me, "Don't always work until so late." Erm, as for pple who knows me when i am working at my previous company. I had a sulken face each time i come out with my brothers, and each time, i will drag them to sit down to chat and complain as much as i can. But now i cut down on my complain. Haahahaa.. Sometimes when you been through the rainy days, you will learn to grow a bit. Each time a rainy day come, is a challenge. Once you overcome the challenge, you will become stronger each time. I am still trying to learn to be stronger and independent. I know this path is hard but i believe my hao jie mei and my brothers will be at my side when i need them? hahaahaa.. :P

A Dream~~

Wahahahaa.. Korkor confirm will said me de.. u know hor~~ i dreamt of him calling me.. and in the end, i went to buy 4d.. TMD!!!!!! this 4 digits came out 1st price but i never strike~~ -_-''''' haiz~~~ cos the position incorrect.. haiz~~ no luck~~ is it bcos it will never happen to us.. he will nt call me.. whaahaha.. am i still missing him~~ or he had a placed in my heart.. maybe is used to have ba~~ now is no longer le~~

Let me dream of someone else better.. hahaa.. :P rather than "him"...

Erm.. one of my buddies having operation on monday~~ is a small operation.. everything will be fine~~ hopefully his feelings will be the same also ba~~

last wk, my colleague just had an operation.. now in the progress of recovering.. hehee.. she very sweet de.. sometimes she will make sushi and treat us eat.. but hor~~ she gt a lot of funny ideas~~ next time gt chance, take the photo of my plushies in office...

hahahaa.. of cos, exam is coming le~~ hopefully, i won't screw up this time~~ things will be better..

supposely, this weekend, i should be at KL!!!! my friend actually wanted to sponsor me air-tickets cum accomdation~~ hahaa..but hor~~ dunno.. just dun have the "trust" but hor~~ i should have trust her~~ erm.. actually maybe is nt abt trust ba~~ guess is bcos of my mum's hand~~ haiz~~ her hand getting worst~~~ maybe down the road, still haven recover~~ i will bring her to genting first~~ then persuade her to go for operation~~ cos... she can't hardly open her hand.. she can't take heavy stuffs~~ the doctor said is bcos of nerve.. is either go for operation or injection.. haiz~~ i actually also dun really know wat is happening~~ cos recently been busy with studies.. hadn't really spend time together with her and bring her to see doctor~~ haiz~~

My Good Friend...

hahaha.. I am happy for my good friend.. but luckily she never tell me on April Fool, otherwise i might take it as a joke. Hehee.. :P

Although i dun have siblings, dun have the joy to countdown to my baby niece or nephew.. But hor.. i will countdown to my gd friend's baby.. hahaha.. very dramatically, last time we are not so close.. ever since when we bcome so close arh.. hahaaha.. i also dunno leh.. :P

hahaa.. pple ard me are happily in relationship.. suddenly, i feel so lonely sia~~ hahaa.. maybe work and study can help me to wash away this feeling ba~~ maybe i really fated to be nun.. cos even now i am in a relationship hor~~ i also dunno hw to handle it.. most imptly.. my the other half must accept my brothers.. hahaa... they are my closest pals, include my this going to be mother.. :P

last weekend.. although i chionging my assignments, i still met up with my brothers they all.. heheee.. just a relaxing weekend with them... we had ichiban sushi and after that we went down to minds cafe~~ hahaa.. this is the first time, i been there wor~~ heheee.. :P not bad~~ quite fun.. :P

i didn't know there is an escalator near the museum there.. surprising right.. haahahaaa.. :P i realise that a lot of couples like to go museum to pa toh.. why arh? hahaa.. i am not there to pa toh..just happen to pass by there.....

hahaha.. the past~~

wow.. indeed, i took a long way to walk out the maze. Amazingly, i manage to get my way out. Wishing him with all the happiness and happily ever after with his the other half. I guess now he should be married le ba~~ whaahaa.. i am still in love with this married guy? hahaha.. no lah.. just a memories~~ i read thru my old blog~~ hahahahaaa... i didn't know that i wrote so many parts that i will break down when me and him are aparted.. hahaha... i really break down le~~ and this breakdown took me more than 3 years to recover back~~ hahaha.. so short only~~ i still tot is very long ago~~~ hahaha... time passes so fast~~~ omg~~

What if i said.. now i am in love with my gd friend.. hahahaa... to protect myself from getting hurt.. i decided to step out... No ending de~~ i dun want to have something that happened again.. u know hor~~ is very painful lor~ tat cut is damn bad~~ tmd... wrote so many post that i must fade away the crush.. hw can standby someone for so long yet no status.. STUPID arh~~ hopefully, now i am better..

hahahaa... now everyone treats me like an ah siao~~ i prefer to stay on as ah siao~~ i think is happier... hahaha.. life is so short... wat if one day, i land in hospital~~ hahaahaa.. or if one day, i walked off from this world.. will anyone miss me~~ haha.. i hopes i will go off later than my grandma... i dun want her to cry for me~~ hahhaa.. is it bcome my time is up~~ tat's why i am so happy... hahaha.. so energetic in things that i do.. or i am happy from the bottom of my heart~~ hahahahah... sounds so sad here sia~~ haahaha.. i haven go for medical checkup yet.. haha.. based on woman's instinct.. i can sense some parts of my body or health had gone haywire le~~ hahahaa.. or i think too much~~ tat's why i started my diet~~ hopefully this will makes me lead a healthier life~~

dear friends.. i am ok~~ jus think tat my cholestral is damn high~~ guess is the frequent of seafood and meat.. frm a kid.. i had nvr like vegetables~ now trying to love to eat salad.. and sashimi~~ whaahahaa...sashimi should not be fat right.. hahaha.. Time to do exercise~~ :P

but most likely, this yr or next yr, i will be going for operation.. should i pick an auspicious date.. hahaha... definitely is not bcos after watching perfect and perfect 2, i am thinking of getting myself plastic surgery to do liposuction.. hahaha.. is time for me to pluck my wisdom tooth.. so sad sia~~ i no wisdom.. nw going to pluck away my wisdom tooh.. guess is going to be worst~~ i think my iq is less than 50 sia~~

time to sleep le~~ nite nite.. :)

1 year... Time files~~~

Hahaha.. So fast, i am with my current company for one year already. Wahahaa.. From a subContract to perm. So called waited for so many years, after i graduate, i finally get myself a perm job. Omg~~~ I had waited for 2 years plus..

This year, of cos, i hopes that my diet will have effect.. Instead of growing horizontally.... i would wish it to be reducing from horizontally.. haha.. When pple gets old, u will start to feel emptiness? haha.. but at the moment, i won't feel in this way.. Every week, i had to study 4 days, time passes very fast for me. Hopefully, one year later, i will said i had graduate and get myself a degree. Hehehee... :P Hopefully, my parents will feel glad. From young till now, they dun give me any burden nor any stress. Unlike other kids, i dun have the stress or pressure from parents regarding studies. They dun decide which path should i take nor which way should i take. They let me decide my own path.

Seriously, from a rebellious kid when i am young till now. I doubt i got a lot of changes? Haha.. In life, of cos there will be ups and down. I used to take it very seriously but it doesn't seems to be the correct approach. But i admit is my fault. In a friendship, it is not a must that the other party need to be reciprocal in the same way. There was a time tat i can't differentiate friendship and relationship well. Hopefully in the future, i can see it clearly. Hahaaaa.. As for my love life hor, is still empty.. hehee.. Oppss, seems that it had been emptied for quite a long period of time le~~ haha.. maybe forever? I start to love single life.. hehee.. but of cos, there are times that i will feel emptiness and hopes to have someone to care for me.. But i think nobody can replace the love from my parents.

Hahahaaa.. They are always that protective towards me, although they give me a lot of freedom. Opps, this sounds like confusing. Maybe that is the culture from my parents or maybe bcos i am the only one. Normally the "one" is always very precious. Your love will all pay towards him/her. Just like when you love someone. Tat someone bcome the "one", you will try not to hurt him/her indirectly.

Recently, i had bcome closed with my friend's gf.. OMG!!! is this correct? Hahaha.. U know.. Is hard to believe sia... I am not sociable yet i can be friends with my friend's partner. Hahaa.. WORST!!! one is my brother's gf. Erm.. Not to said being betray whoever, so i will stay at a position of "I dunno anything". Listen and forget... Sometimes, i really very scare i said the wrong thing bcos sometimes i dun my brain dun process wat i said, which means is "人头猪brain".

Situation 1 :
Your bf going to share a room with one of his female friends. Will you mind?

Hahaha.. Seriously, if i really love him. I will mind. When he is away, i will keep think of what is going to happen there. Maybe i belong to possessive type ba.. But you know woman always have this kind of feelings especially pple like me who dun have confident in myself. Haha.. I tried before to break up bcos i dun have confident in myself. haha.. or maybe so called i dunno wat is love ba or i trying to protect myself not to get hurt.. haha.. but ended up, i still got hurt.. which then, my door is closed.. :X i am waiting for the correct person who holds the key for my door... =p

Normally the guy will said, u should trust me. Both of us had been together for so long and etc............ The problem is nobody dares to make promises time cannot change anything.

Situation 2
So called "Yr gd friend" stepped into a third party relationship. Haha.. Isn't tat normal? Nowadays so many relationship being broken up bcos there is a third party. What if you know both gals? Relationship is not strong enough to encounter the blow. From an outsider view is, the earlier you let go, is better for you. You know hor.. If the relationship had already being fade away, no matter hw you fix it. It will still occurs again? Once bitten, twice shy. Or so called when both of you quarrel, you will still bring back the past (provided u are a person who keep looking backwards, just like me.. =x), then ended up each time quarrel will get worst. Ending is still break up.

Situation 3
What if your bf had a very close gal friend? Hahahaa.. Most imptly, see hw the gal looks first.. --> hahah.. this is wat my guy friend told me de.. haha.. or see hw close they are.. If they are buddies le.. then should be ok ba~~ cos yr bf sure treat that gal as guy liao.. Personal opinion.. When a guy and a girl had bcome good friends for very long, i doubt that there will be sparks. Will you want someone who know deep inside u? haha... Woman arh.. HArd to understand creatures sia~~ At one moment, you would wish to have a bf who knows u deep inside, at another moment, u desire a bf who dunno u tat well.. Haha.. Time to work smart.... When u know her too well, act that u dunno her well.. When is time to show her concern or shower her with gifts.. Then u should know her well.. Which means.. When she is down... is time to show that u understand her well.. When she is ok.. then is time to act stupid.. dun everything also said "Ok.. i know.." Ended up, no surprises.. hw to maintan a relationship?

First Day of Diet

hheehee..today is my first day of diet..
if within 3 mths, i manage to get results.. i am going to get myself a gucci small pouch. :P

guess i make a right choice?

hahaa.. Recently is the time for apparsial but hor~~ till now i haven do it, yet the dateline is on the coming Monday which is an important day for me. Why? It is because i will be having exams on that day. Wahahahaa.. How my company works? If your apparsial fall into average, u will get an average bonus plus 13th month for the year. Otherwise, it will be one month bonus for the whole year. Currently economy is that at the downstream, i also dun dare to dream too much. Hopefully, i will get an average grade ba~~~ Life at work had been become harder, more and more things for me to deal with. Time to learn to work smart and study hard in the meantime.

Monday, i will be having my exams, haiz~~ hopefully this time round, i won't screw up the paper again.

Hahaha.. As a switch of company in a year ago, did i make the right choice? Erm.. I guess i did, in a long term run, i believe this will be a better choice. My ex-colleague who join the same company earilier than me. He prefers to stay at the current company more than his ex-company. Erm.. Actually, i also not sure which one i prefer. Guess maybe i work for the sake for money, not for passion. Opps.. Sounds like i think no money, got passion also no use. At home, i still got two mouth to feed wor~ As times goes, i think my financial burden will be heavier. Time to wake up, gal. U no longer that pamper princess, u had grown up to be queen.. or so call slave for life. Work hard now, earn a higher pay, so you can provide your parents a much more comfortable life. Plus express your grattitude towards your aunties and uncles that helped you thru your 25 years of life.. If without them, i won't be able to enjoy life that much.. :P

thanx everyone~~~

Complex feelings~~~

Hahahaa.. I met my gd friend for a drink. Two crazy women bought 2 cans of beer go sit at the beach there and talk. Hahahaa.. She asked me about how's my relationship life. Erm.. this is a question that i dun really know how to answer. Not bcos i am in relationship that i dun dare to let pple know. Is i am in such a dilemma situation which i dun even know wat i really wants deep inside me. Of cos, we did talk abt the past that i had. Hahaha.. Surprising that i can be so opened. I guess i did change a bit? I reached home around 3am in the morning ba~~ I got another surprise was she gave me a guess bag for xmas exchange.. OMG!!!! no matter how much it is, guess is the tots that count ba~~ hahaha.. u know hor~~ she sometimes really very sweet..

sat, of cos i had a very shag look to go school, especially i slept at 4 plus, while i had to wake up at 9 to go for lesson. There are times that i struggled to go to school. In the end, i still drag myself to school. After my lesson, i went to parkway there to have lunch with my ex-colleague. Erm... Out of my surprise, i met nanny!!!! OMG!!!! i think hor, i had never met up with him about 2 years? hahaha.. i had a super shag look on my face.. that i just said a hi to him while we crossing the road. But i gave him a call to apologise to him, cos i am really tired. Furthermore, i am going jurong point at nite to meet my dearest brothers... haha.. i reached home ard 2plus but hor~~ i knocked out at 3 plus and i overslept~~ luckily one of my brothers going to be late.. :P otherwise i think i dun need to go le~~ they will come over to my house to wake me up.. haha.. we talked quite a bit~~ tat day was a treat from me to them.. haha.. :P although brother wanted to pay, in the end still i pay.. haha.. u know hor~~ we talked abt all sort of rubbish.. haha.. of cos talked abt my past also.. which makes me dreamt of him on tat nite.. So stupid sia~~ i was sad when i heard he and his gf had been together for one year.. OMG!!! i already let go, how come i still got this stupid dream.. :X

Sunday, my brothers they all came over to my house. Haha.. :P one left early bcos need to pick up his gf. While another one stayed until 6pm.. :P Ard 7pm, i went out with my parents to have dinner. Erm.. I treated them for dinner at xiao dian er, since they never been there before. How can daughter enjoy her life always? of cos once in a while need to share my parents right.. :P Act filial or really filial.. it is up to individual to think, as long as i know the answer myself can already.

haha.. during cny second day, my maternal grandmother asking me a question which i dunno how to answer leh.. :X erm.. she asked me to bring my bf and let her see. I said wait until i find one then i bring him and let her see. Her reply is damn cute.. "When you bring him back, i already eat salted egg." ....... "No lah~~ won't lah~~" haha... is she trying to hint me that my expectation is too high or i nobody wants~~ hahaha.. :P i dunno leh.. let fate decides for me ba~~ Erm.. if one day she really in a crucial state, guess i will ask someone to help me to solve this problem.. lie to her and make her goes happily? Am i being cruel? I just want to make a white lie and let her go happily.. Hopefully, someone will help me to do that.. haha.. who will be that someone.. i dunno sia~~ see, by then who will be my closest friend plus provided his gf won't mind.. .

recently i think i kana ban in someone's gf list. Opps.. I better stop message him, otherwise nextime we meet up for dinner.. it doesn't going to look good? haha.. my friend said... u lah.. always msg him.. erm.. no lah.. maybe once a wk? or nt even once a wk?

i like this weekend.. can hide away all unhappiness in work.. cos i feel happy that i still got friends ard me when i need them.. :P

Screwed up at work~~

haiz~~ nowadays had been quite screwed up at work.. is either too careless or do something wrong.. hahahaa.. and i always go against my big boss.. Opps.. he will be the one who determine my bonus.. :X haiz~~ this year gt bonus or not also a big problem, since now everywhere is retrenching.. as long as i can keep my job, i should be happy, right... dun ask for too much... haiz~~

recently i got talked to him.. maybe i grumble a bit abt my work and studies.. haha.. dunno leh.. i think bcos he always reply me with caring.. makes me hor~~ so scare i will fall again.. haiz~~

work not doing well + studies not doing well + relationship also not handling in the correct way... haiz~~ i also dunno..

tiring week~~~

Hahahaa.. What had i been doing for the past one whole week? Nowadays, i starts school le.. of cos i had become more and more busy. Furthermore this module is mainly on english~~ omg~~ tat is something i am damn weak at it, especially i still need to write essay for it. -_-'''' i hoped i can pass ba~~~

Last week, i did a lot of stupid stuff sia~~ I met up with korkor and his partner.. haha.. they brought me to mandarin oriental hotel lounge there for drinks.. haha.. damn high class hor? so unlike me sia~~ such high class places not really suit me ba~~ maybe based of my character, furthermore i am so clumsy..

Sat, i went out with my mum n my friend to buy cny's clothes. Something weird happened on tat day. Someone sms me to ask for a loan, furthermore the loan that she requested from me is consider quite a big sum of money for me. Erm, i just make payments for my school fees, how to provide loan for others? Guess she really look for the wrong person. How come she come and borrow money from a poor student? It is such a big joke sia. If i am so rich enough, i will not ought to study part-time. I will go for full-time studies. Cos currently seems like i am pretty screwed up in my studies and work. Hopefully, my boss not going to kill me soon ba~~ News everyday mentioning abt retrenchment.. Seriously, i start to scare whether will it happen to me or not. Time to make plans during rainy day ba~~~ my job won't be stable as wat others thing cos mainly it will be based on performance. Guess my performance is the bottom last, but i will try my best to muggle my studies and work.

At Night, i went out with friends. I met up with my friend at mustafa first bcos he wanted to get a new hp, samsung pixon. Wah lau.. he damn rich lor~~ keep changing phone.. :X heheheee.. finally persuade him not to eat sushi tei.. :P He met up with my another friend also.. hahah.. bcos i am meeting her for ktv.. :P it had been ages that i had been to ktv sia~~ luckily is cheap on that day.. :P haha.. my friend and her bf and brother came over to join us.. Wow~~ first time met her bf's brother sia~~ looks damn young lor~~ haha... later at nite, they send me home.. :P heng~~

Sunday, i went to do hair with my colleague~~ :P supposely to meet up with brothers they all.. but ended up.. i am really too tired...

haha.. today got someone msg me.. abt him and his gf.. haha.. surprisingly.. i dun feel anything when he told me wat happened.. hopefully both of them will be ok~~ dun think so much..

只是一支签

hahaaha...昨天我去了四马路的观音庙，我也求了一支签。

第六十五簽下簽卯宮　古人孫濱困龐涓

眼前歡喜未為歡，亦不危時亦不安；
割肉成瘡為甚事，不如守舊待時光。

hahaaha.. wat does it means...

静静的一个星期。。。

这几天我过着一个很平静，也想了很多。。 如果人生能这么简单该多好，可是往往都不会是这样的。。 在星期五，我拿了一天的假期， 去了马拉西亚走了一回。我好久都没有陪妈妈出去走一走。。我知道从下星期开始，我又要过着一个忙碌的一年了。 休息了三个礼拜，又是开学的时候了。

心理有点痛痛的。。 哈哈。。 我想到好多以前的事情。。 其实hor.. 可能我真的喜欢他那么深，只是我有一点放不下吧。。他很疼我，每天都听我唠叨，诉苦，所以让我习惯的被人疼得感觉，可是一切并没有持续很久。好像一切都是我一厢情愿的吧。其实对感情这回事，我已经不想去想了。有了好，没有也算了吧！

在这新的一年，我希望能减肥成功，并不是为了要赢我的好友。。 只是我觉得我堕落了好久，是时候为自己做一点事。 我好像从来都没有为我自己打算以下。。 不应该这么stubborn.

这几年我也想清楚，有一段时间我真的很气他，一切都过去了。。你hor， 让我学会了很多事情，我也学会坚强了许都。。谢谢您。。 :)

我也学会了一件事，不要爱上你的好朋友。我因为爱上我的好朋友而失去了一个很要好的好朋友。 如果每有他，我相信有很多难关我都挨不下去。 其实你离开了我也是一间好事，让我有一个理由难过伤心，也有个机会让我自己知道自己的酒量到底有多好。哈哈！！ 从以前开始我说过我要学会珍惜身边的一切， 可是那一次和他分开后，我并没有应为那时的事情而变得成熟，而却是应为你我学会了珍惜。

哈哈！！ 真好笑， 这几年我都过着一个很愚蠢的生活，希望新的一年我会学的变得更聪明，在事业与学业能够兼顾的好。不要向以前一样，胡里胡涂的过日子。

在这一年，我希望我不要依赖brothers们那么多。以一个woman的直觉，每有一个woman希望自己的男朋友和他的好朋友那么好吧。。 谁不会吃醋的阿！！ 哈哈！！ 这证明了一样事，我是一个醋坛子。 :)

I AM STUPID!!!!!

ARGH!!!! i think i am stupid.. and is nt stupid only.. IS EXTREMELY STUPID!!! haiz!!!!

i am slow and stupid.. haiz~~~

我老板快要给我气死了！！！我觉得我笨到一种无可救药的地步！！！ 做事经常放错，我好气自己啊！

黄小姐，不要一直做个糊涂虫，你已经24岁了！！ 还那么没有用！！！ 真是一个蠢才！！！

i start to wondering, can i really survive in this private sector world? do i suits to contiune to work here? haiz~~~ i doubt i can cope to with the fast pace in my work.. haiz~~ between work and studies can i really cope it? my studies went chaos.. now my work also went chaos.. haiz~~ guess my life is in a mess now~~~

so should i consider that i dun have a bf now? otherwise maybe my relationship will went chaos too? or maybe he can hear me complain~~~

haiz~~ guess maybe this weekend should be a clubbing week or drinking week..

double combo.. can i take it?

ARGH!!!!!

haiz~~ dunno is my communication skills got problem or... haiz~~ sian sian~~ starting to feel that my work topple.. :( ARGH~~~ not happy not happy nt happy!!! things just dun go the way, i wants.. so MESSY!!! haiz~ a bit back like wat was happening in my ex-company.. can i handle it this time round with a better attitude.. hahaa.. we shall see.. guess i will just simply bo chap it.. cos the communication in between is like break down lor~~~ KAOZ!!! nobody seems like knows wat is the correct way and method.. communication break down across sia~~~
one wants this.. one wants that.. end up.. wat i do.. is wrong.. -_-'''' i just follow requirements de mah.. haiz~~ if u all know the requirements are wrong hor~~ why didn't said it out in the first place.. now then kp that is wrong.. haiz~~~ i very sian leh.. sob sob.. wants to proves that i am not so incapable.. ended up.. it can only show one thing.. i am getting more and more incapable.. and STUPID!!!!! haiz~~~

Had been very busy recently~~

Hahaa... i overslept on my gd friend's wedding. Hopefully tat day, 我不时很失态吧！！我好像说错话了。 yy, you are so pretty that day.. hehee.. 我会加油的， 赢到我的台湾机票！！看齐来我已经决定我明年要去台湾了。。 会去的成功吗? 明年就有答案了。

haha.. during that week, i was on two days of mc and one day of leave. No choice, i had to go back to work on sunday when she was having her dinner.. :X I rushed to parkway to get a birthday gift for her which i saw it a few days ago.. hahaa.. :P should had bought it earilier hor.. otherwise i won't be that late.. Hahaha.. guess i looks a bit weird that nite.. looks like a kiddy sia~~ haha..

after tat week.. wat did i do arh.. erm.. let me think.. i cannot recall of anyting~~~ orh~~ i went to changi airport to do my assignment after my lesson. when i reached home is ard 9plus am~~ super shag hor~~ take a nap le.. then my uncle came over to my house and said something happened to my auntie~~ haiZ~~~ i..................... at nite, i went to meet up with my poly friends.. lol.. had my dinner at waraku pasta.. once a while gathering.. still consider not bad ba~~ as when u gets old, everyone started to have their different life, is hard to have a gathering session. haiz~~ sob sob.. seems like i am eagerly to find one now~~ haha.. i also dunno... maybe just like my korkor said de.. i too long never been in love le.. i had lose the way how to love someone le.. or so called i dunno how to cherish pple. guess is still better to stay low profile.. once in a while, i got friends asked me out can le~~~ hear me su ku.. complain can le~~ dun need always i entertain them.. haha.. :P
Sunday, i met my brothers.. haha.. my friend called me out, i asked her to join us together.. hehee.. after we bought the tickets hor~~ brother said he is going to treat me.. :P so nice of him~~ treat me eat... wahahaa.. i stole his phone.. still got free meals.. not bad hor... hahaa.. :P my brothers arh.. they are like that de.. treat me like a male de.. haiz~~ of cos i kept quiet to my friend that he actually treating me~~ otherwise very weird leh~~~

last wk... was a wk of chionging assignment.. chiong until like mad woman.. skips lunch, no lunching outside.. stay in office.. everyday sleeps 3-5 hours.. sob sob.. complexion getting worst.. haiz~~ luckily nowadays never met up with korkor.. otherwise he sure kp abt me.. he sure said u sure nobody wants le.. hahaaha.. i know this is the truth le.. :X 我应经看开了`。。。 lol.. :P

My friend got her bonus le~~ haha.. she treats me kushinbo.. hehee.. i kept quiet in front of another friend also.. paiseh~~~ go eat together mah.. after tat we went to watch Madagascar.. then i took a bus home.. hahaa.. my another gd friend asked me to go clubbing.. i super shag le~~ where got energy to go clubbing.. in the end, i miss a chance to meet up with a yandao.. sob sob.. :'( based on wat she said arh.. tat guy very yandao leh.. cos she seldom will said guys yandao de.. hahaa.. she is a chio bu wor~~ of cos her taste for guys is higher..

Sunday, i went to loreal fair.. haha.. bought some stuffs.. of cos 大少爷complain that i am always late.. Ask me to learn punctuality.. sob sob.. :( dun he knows bcos of late.. i lose someone.. hahaha.. but everything over le.. no point to mention it again le...

Assignment + Gd Friend's Wedding

Haahhaa.. Recently i am being tied down by my assignment and gd friend's wedding.. As u can know.. i thinks i belong to a person who likes to enjoy going out often.. hahaha... my parents used to say,"why last time we never tied your legs when u are still a baby?" Guess now is too late.. Hahaahaa.. I paid 1k plus for the first module yet my first assignment still remain untouch. This reminds me about the times when i was in poly. Hahaha.. In poly, always got kw aka my shifu helped me a lot~~ OF cos still got my buddies in poly lah.. hahaa.. the four of us are famous for last minute. Last minute study until next day morning then go school take exams.. Hahahaa.. but now, 1 bcome career woman, another 1 bcomes xin fu de nu ren, while ceo remains uncontactable.. hahaa.. while as for me.. still remains kiddy like last time.. hahaa.. guess each time they talked to me also wants to puke blood.

Hahahaa.. seriously, i guess i belong to the type very emotional ba~~ erm... seriously my colleagues treat me quite good ba~~ they knows that i am currently studying.. on the first day, they will offer me cakes and yougurt drink, to encourage me to school.. hahaa.. now assignment is going to hand up soon le, they asking me whether i need any help or not. She will help me.. hahaa.. seriously, everyone bcomes more mature than wat i know.. yet i am still as kiddy as i am... hahaa.. is it time to find someone to look after me.. haha.. but is quite hard, currently i dun have anyone in mind nor anyone going after me.. haha... time to concentrate on my studies ba~~ hopefully i can find one before i graduate.. hahaa.. hopefully he can go aus with me to celebrate the joy with me that i had graduate after struggling for my studies. i dun mind to be lightbulb for 1 year but not longer ba~~ haha.. lao tian ye arh~~~ bu yao zhe yang mah.. lol.. :P wo tu ran jian hao xiang bei ai de gang jue~~~ lol.. :P guess wo hai shi dang ge xiao nu ren hao ba~~~

hahaa.. ytd i met my gd friend with a gal.. haha.. surprisingly, i dun have that kind of the feelings.. hahahaa.. no feelings at all lor~~ later when i am at tampines, i met my classmates.. then when i go cineleisure to meet my friends, i met my ex-colleagues... hahaa.. within one day, i met 3 persons sia~~~ hw come arh..

ahhahahaahaa..

5 more days to assignment date due.. i wondering can i finish before it or i had to take mc or leave le.

1 more wk to yy's wedding le~~ time passes super fast, i knew her for more than 10 years.. now she is getting married le~~ while i still remain single.. hahaa... wo xi wang ta xin fu..

to me, i think when u reached wedding stage, is another phrase in life, in this phrase, there are different things/stuffs to learn :
- hw to live in harmony with your husband's family
- hw to cook
- hw to keep the love between both of u keep burning till u all are old..
- hw to etc.................

Hehehe.. :P

Next year holiday trip

hahaa...Fix destination for next year will be Taiwan.. hahahaa.. I had a bet with brother.. lol.. :P if i manage to slim down by next year.. one free air ticket to taiwan.. lol.. :P

i had another agreement with niao niao wor~~ if we both manage to shed away extra fats.. next year, we will all go taiwan to celebrate my next year birthday.. :P

hahaha.. i must determine to do it.. :P

Min.. JIA YOU!! cannot lose this bet wor~~

Birthday Celebration

hahaa.. i had a very very very tired birthday celebration..

guess i wondering izzit bcos i am so stress up with studies and work.. tat's why i dun enjoy it.. hahaha.. i also dunno.. or bcos there aren't any surprises?

I starts my birthday celebration on friday nite.. after my lesson, i went to vivocity to meet niao niao.. haha.. she very poor thing leh.. waiting for us till late nite.. luckily got her colleague accompany her, otherwise she will curse and swear at us. lol.. :P we had our dinner at terra cafe while waiting for da jie to join us.. hehe.. da jie joined us at 11plus then we headed down to clarke quay. sad to said, most of the pubs that we wants to go, all were quite packed. Actually i wanted to go pump room, too bad, too crowded. So we went back to iguana, same place as last year. :) so sweet hor, da jie they all always accompanied me to celebrate my birthday. haha.. guess they knows i dun have a lot of friends.. :P As usual kiddo haven grown up, haiz~~ Among three of us, although i am not the youngest yet i am the most kiddo de. 1 years older le, yet i still haven grown up. sian~ hope next year, i still can have my birthday celebration with da jie they all, and this time i will be much more mature. Guess da jie that day was deadbeat, she worked until 11plus. Then still need to entertain me till 1 plus.. hehe.. :P da jie and niao niao so wei da.. lol.. :P

Sat, went to school for lesson. Sob sob.. :( no mood sia~~ haiz~~ tired plus sian~~ no choice lah.. pay school fees le, still can dun want to go meh? plus i study to get a degree, in order i can support my parents next time. haiz~ can give up meh? dun study , cannot get a good pay, then next time how can i support them? After school, got a call from kelvin... lol.. :P end of up quarreling bcos of timing for bbq.. too busy le lah~~

Meet Edmund for dinner before he fled back to aus. Haha.. although he came back for four days hor~~ he still meets me for dinner.. hehe.. so good.. :P sweet sia~~ lol.. i knows him for too long le.. :P

After dinner.. meet kelvin they all to look at the bbq food.. haha.. when he first met me, face super black lor~ haha.. :P ended up.. we went to have dinner at food court, followed by sashimi.. yummy.. my favourite sashimi swordfish.. :P, and dessert at swensen.. haha..

Ard 11plus, i went back home to change.. haha.. I went st james with my friends plus my brothers they all.. lol... :P so ke lian~~ they need to entertain me till 3 plus.. haha.. furthermore my friend's bf need to work at 8am the next day.. lol.. :P

I slept ard 5plus lor~~ sob sob.. :(

erm.. early in the morning, kelvin called me to go downstair and pick up food.. haiz~~ not enuff sleep sia~~

haiz~~ i also dunno leh.. dun really happy during the bbq.. i also dunno..

is bcos i am too tired? or bcos i am too sian ? or ?????

on the way back, i kept very quiet wor~~ haha.. brother very sweet.. he called me when he received my msg.. i told him i wasn't happy for this year birthday~~ he called to concern for me.. haha.. after hand up the phone.. i wanted to sms him to tell him.. haha.. dun let me rely on u.. but ended up, i never send.. :X

SO tired.. now need to chiong for assignment.. hopefully both of them will support me till the end.. :P

hahaa.. my colleague also very sweet.. hehe.. she said if i got any problems for my assignment.. i can ask her.. she will be guiding me.. hehee.. :P

Tired

Haiz~~
nowadays very busy.. got a lot of things to be handle.. haiz~~

1) School starts already
2) Work getting more and more
3) Assignment date due next week..
4) BBQ this sunday
5) My best friend's wedding coming soon..

hahaa.. seriously.. nowadays i see so many pple ard me having care and dotes by their bfs.. i feels so envy sia~~ haiz~~ maybe i dun have the destiny to find the one yet ba~~

last sat, i went ktv with a niao niao.. haha.. her bf's very sweet wor.. waited for her till late nite when she goes home.. then when she sings, she will call him and let him listen.. wow... sweet hor~~ miss my old past.. where got someone waits for me to reach home.. haiz~~

其实我又开始迷失我的方向了

不懂为什么最静越来越喜欢用华语来述说我的心。当我觉得我有迷失我的方向时，我一点多不觉得很奇怪。为什么，我又有了这种感觉？是不是因为，我周围的人都得到爱他们的人或者都遇到疼爱她们的人， 而我还是一个人走在这个人上吗？其实自己的人生道路并不比那些在生命边界徘徊的人来的痛苦。我想开一点不是没事了吗？可是，是我不懂得珍惜过他吗？为什么我动不动又再想起他？是我还没放手吗？ 还是我一直以来都不懂我自己要的是什么？其实，时间都过了那么久，我真的没放过手吗？ 还是我根本不懂得什么是爱？我有没有伤过人或者是他吗？其实，我也不知道。 很可能，他现在已经是别人的爸爸了，我还在这里不知道该如何是好？哈哈，我真的觉得自己很傻，也很愚笨，笨到不懂极点。

我可以不可以醒来，真的要那么愚笨的过我的人生吗？我已经傻傻的过了要到24年了，在这么过下去，我会得到我的幸福吗？ 虽然别人总说傻人有傻福。。 哈哈！！！！ 我觉得是假的。

这段日子不要爱上任何人!! 一定要找回自己失去的方向才来说。我相信我可以在自己25岁时找到我自己的方向！！ 黄小姐，加油wor！！ 不可以那么轻易就放弃自己的未来，我相信我自己可以找到我的彩虹!!!

Tipsy

Guess Tipsy is the kind of feeling i had now. I will try to numb myself in work and in studies and maybe my private life. but guess this is the moment, i do wish to be alone for a while.

So0o0o0o0o0o0oooo Painful :(

Today i took half day and went to do medical checkup.. haiz~~ didn't know need to do blood test.. so painful~~ this is the second time that i do blood test in my whole entire life.. :( sob sob.. is the auntie dunno hw to poke or ???? guess tml going to be blue black liao~~ haiz~~ i guess sooner or later.. i need to go to pluck out my wisdom tooth le.. but hor~~ i dun dare.. haiz~~~ :( but the clinic had The Arcade had a very nice view. I can oversee the whole of marina bay.. Hehee.. considered quite lucky cos i took afternoon leave, therefore i can avoid all jams. Pray hard, nothing goes wrong for my checkup. Otherwise, i will go bersek leh..
*****Praying very hard********

Last Week arh.. Wat i did arh..

Erm.. I met my buddies for dinner.. Hehee.. :P Supposing i only meet one of them for dinner.. The other one said he nt free, going gym. Ok lor, dun want to force him. Had a short chat with one of my buddies lah.. Then suddenly another one called me, "I just finished OT leh,i come down now to find u all." Hahaha.. Stunned.. We purposely bought Venti drink at Starbucks to wait for him lor~~ Wah lau.. I drink coffee until i wants to puke liao.. of cos lah.. they started to said abt my past and my current.. haiz~~ makes me feel so guilty.. so regret.. wat had happened to me.. gain quite a lot of weight during my 2 years in my ex-company.. sob sob.. now trying very hard to shed them away lor.. haiz~~ jia you hor~~~ one asked me go california gym with him.. another one asked me to join his gf to go gym together.. omg~~~ he still ask me to learn from his gf sia~~ haha.. his gf is my idol liao~~ time to learn from her.. hehee.. i wants to become mei mei de and find a bf.... :X let's see hw long my determination will last this time round.. :P

hahaha... touch hor~~ my friend actually rushed down from tuas to meet me.. hahaa.. :P seriously.. really feel happy at the moment.. now i know.. no matter hw far they are from me.. they are still with me.. i wondering how long will this last.. :X Opps.. am i questioning hw friendly u all are towards me.. Erm.. no lah.. we better dun stay too close.. later your gfs misunderstand, how?

last sat.. i went to eat steamboat with a friend(Secret) and my ex-colleague.. haha.. Secret of cos being very sweet lah.. always cook for me n my friend to eat.. haha... opps.. seems like wat my ex-colleagues said is right.. my gd friends are all guys.. :( later they scare away my future bf, hw? hahaha.. no lah.. they just treat me as a guy buddy.. hahaaha... i think everytime after my steamboat hor.. i will start to sa jiao leh.. OMG!!!! hehee.. i think i purposely de.. they scare.. then i purposely do more.. oppps.. i looks like very rebellious wor~~ Wahahahaa.. :P

I think i did tat to my buddies too when i am a bit tipsy.. haha.. but luckily their gfs ard.. otherwise i will kana whack.. Opps.. must control a bit le wor.. is not like in the past where everybody still single... Wahahaa.. :P

Sort of miss someone so much.. haha.. his friend told me he getting married this year.. haha.. he so caring~~ the first guy who is so caring towards me.. wahaha.. maybe bcos i saw the injuries i had, reminds me abt him.. haha.. when i go out dating with him, he saw me blue black.. Faster bring me to watson and buy all types of medical oils and etc.. Ask me next time must be careful, ok? dun always hurt yourself.. so sweet hor~~ hehee.. plus my xiao xin is from him too as birthday gift.. haha... :P

Puzzled & Confused..

Hahahaa.. Seriously, my feelings had become a mixture of beer and red wine that makes me so drunk now. But it does not means i am drunk physically.. just that i am mentally puzzled and confused.

Last weekend, i meet up with my friends, of cos is organized by me due to i got a few friends having birthday. Haahaha.. A bit disappointed tat day ba, but i am ok lah.. trying my best to keep everyone laughing.. hehee.. :P

These few weeks i ate cake until i almost puke le.. Fattening~~
1) Chocolate cake from The Chocoz.. Omg.. is very rich with chocoalte..
2) Durians Cake from four season.. hehee.. i love durians but the cream is too rich~~
3) Mango Cheese cake from rive gauche... hehe.. nice nice.. but it might be too heaty~
4) Chocolate cake from four leaves.. hehe.. nice nice.. but again.. cream!!!

haha.. after consitantly eating so many cakes.. makes min fall sick again.. omg.. she is so weak now~~

haiz~~ of cos i still went to eat steamboat twice this week.. omg~~ i am not going to eat tat again next week..

One good news to share.. but i share wait until time is ripe then share it out..

haha.. now puzzled and confused part is... i realised something.. he started dun want to share with me his relationship.. tat makes me think in another way.. haha.. but i know is impossible.. a lot of pple starting to guess whether things had gone the wrong way.. haha.. i would like to said.. at the moment is no.. in future is even going to be a big NO.. haha.. pls lah.. he won't like me de...

i had a short chat with him just now.. which is something we dun really do most of the time.. sometimes we will just crap for a while.. he reminds me abt the incident which i did stupidly a year ago.. erm.. of cos.. we started to crap abt my birthday.. he asked me when is my birthday.. haha.. of cos is in oct lah.. ask me when is the date.. siao.. u think i nuts meh.. u had never remember my birthday before.. i doubt that this year.. u will remember it..

hahaa.. as for a celebration or not.. i dunno leh.. the more i hopes it to be.. the more i am scare it will just turn out to be disappointment.. everytime min hopes something to turn well, things will just go haywire. The more i want to be mei mei to go my hao jie mei wedding.. i know sure last min shall got something pops up de.. i dun want to think so much.. maybe is bcos i scare ba.. or i had lose the definition of like, love, habit? i starting to realise i dunno hw to definte any of these words anymore..

haha.. so u asked me wat is this kind of feelings.. i also dunno leh.. just that when i heard him talking to his gf.. sometimes.. i will feel extremely down.. and trying ways to walk away and hide away my feelings.. but there are times that i just encourage him.. i started to puzzle.. wat does this kind of feelings called? maybe he can sense that i am feeling uncomfortable.. tat's why he stopped mentioning his gf in front of me. hahaa.. i dunno.. i started to confuse myself.. maybe i am just afraid i will lose a friend.. there are times that i falling down, i need someone to console me.. haha.. i started to realise i dun have the courage to sms him anymore.. i even told myself... no no.. i can't do that anymore.. ended up, it will just bcome a draft that i never send..

haha.. today, i asked da jie.. hw to make myself more sociable. she gave me one sentence "Open up yourself". How to do it? "Find it out yourself" haha.. i knows wat she means, of cos min is someone who always lock herself in her room.. she seldom will open up herself.. i am not a person who will open that easily ba~~ haha.. i should open more easily.. meet up with more pple.. maybe i will slowly fade away this feelings ba..

maybe bcos of a lesson that i had a few years back.. i started to scare to make the same mistake again.. hahaha.. past is past.. i should no longer looks back.. hw can i always be so persistant to return back to the past..

haha.. i should concentrate on my studies... of cos in my work too.. hopefully i dun screw up a lot of things at work.. and cause disappointment to my bosses..

Hehehe.. Birthday Gift

hahaha.. Last friday, i went to have dinner at cafe cartel... followed by steamboat.. crazy right? Plus having dessert at Ah Chew's dessert place. After eating and eating, i walked to mostafa.. Wahahhaa... :P I saw something which i like leh.. I dropped hint to my two qing ai de brothers.. Hahaha.. Both of us very cute hor.. One moment quarrel, one moment ok.. haha.. Crazy right.. As usual, we are always like that.. Ok lah.. Sometimes he quite pamper me.. But now cannot always liao~ Both of them got gfs liao~~ Erm.. Can i request this one successfully.. Erm.. I doubt it.. Just share with everyone.. haha.. Any hao xin ren wants to buy this for me? Erm.. Guess i had to get this myself~~ Hahaa... :P Last year, i aim a guess watch.. aim until i never buy.. this year, will i buy this puma to pamper myself.. Haha.. Sometimes i wondering.. both of my brothers quite understand me sia~~ haha.. when i am looking at a bag.. one will said "dun envy lah.. go buy lah.. " Then i tell them i am attached.. One of them will said "U believe in her meh?" Erm.. i really got so bad arh? nobody wants? sob sob.. anyway i am used to it liao~~ i really belongs to a category that nobody wants.. wahaha.. =p destined to be single for my lifetime.. haha.. is time to learn independent.. haha.. (Da jie, dun puke when u saw this post.. plus korkor hor.. ) Erm.. Da jie knew me for 6 years.. As usual i am still so childish, immature, spoilt brat.. Korkor knew me for more than 10 years, omg.. i still so dependent on others.. although he might find me that i had grown up by 0.01%? Now is i scold him, not that he scold me.. Wahahaahaa.. :P Opps.. Now i had become the evil one.. Lol.. :P

Hehee.. Brothers they all said planning to help me to celebrate my birthday. Erm.. This year, i had never planned to celebrate my birthday, guess i will have a peaceful birthday ba~~ cos all should be busy pa toh, where got time to entertain me.. :( furthermore i got lessons on the 25th.. Haiz~~ each year also dun have pple celebrate with me.. except last year.. last three years..

21th birthday,i had a chalet at east coast. End up they use my cake as flying cakes.. Hahaha.. I drank a bottle of white wine which i bought a few years back from australia.. Chasing one another with the cakes.. i so good leh.. offering other pple cakes, ended up kana sabo.. hehe.. plus nanny accompany me to watch the 40 year old virgin plus a meal at swensen ba~~~

22nd birthday, i had a chalet too this year.. Futhermore is a halloween decoration chalet at downtown east.. Heavy sponsor by my dearest friend, yy.. haha.. opps... she almost going to kill me le.. lol.. :P had a great fun there, just that we had a quarrelled with our next door neighbour due to bbq pit. Hahaha.. :P oh ya~~ i almost forget le.. We went to Zouk the day before wor~~ then sy, yy, plus dunno who and me come out first.. We walked to clarke quay and sit down.. Futhermore, we went to liang court to have a macdonald breakfast... Then took the eariliest train back to downtown east. No wonder we are so guai lah.. Then once we return back to chalet room, queueing up to bath so that we can sleep.. Hahaa.. :P Ended up dunno which idiot come around 11 plus..then wake all of us up.. we were saying~~ omg~~ we just slept for a while~~ around evening time.. chef comes liao~~ saw the food that we had bbq.. dunno bring who go supermarket to buy food.. wahaha.. :P he bought chocolate and melt.. haha.. then i use ham & chicken wings to dip inside the chocolate.. Ended up.. kana scolded.. -_-'''''' Tat time both of my brothers are attached... plus one of friends... but all broke up in the end.. now they are with different partners le.. hehe.. of cos.. my dearest yy.. also getting marry at the end of the year le.. :P On the actual date, i think nanny very poor thing sia~~ waited for me after work for quite long.. We went to watch the magician show~~ haha.. see.. my memory still quite good right.. haven turned rusty yet...

23th birthday.. haha.. I had a few cakes.. one frm my primary school friend, one frm my ex-colleagues, one frm my da jie n niao niao, one was frm my buddies they all. But the last cake WAS WORST OUT OF ALL.. Is just a small cupcake, ended up it bcome a flying cake... -_-''''''' luckily, was just a small celebration downstair, otherwise i will be dead.. guess everyone will be looking at me sia, if i board bus back home..

This year.. They planning to bring me go clubbing on that day.. Hahaha.. I thinks they only talk talk only right.. will not come true de right.. haha.. asked me go book chalet.. haha.. too bad.. no chalet.. haha.. so stayed at home is the best.. :P just pass me the present can le.. :)

First Hint for my birthday present~~

Puma Stardust Ladies Watch.. Nice nice.. =p



haha.. after having so many years of happening birthday.. really not getting use of a peaceful birthday leh.. haha.. but must slowly getting use to it.. they where got time to entertain me sia~~ all is either attach or getting marry soon le~~ sob sob.. :( hahaa.. Getting married de arh.. Next time u pregnant liao.. must tell me arh.. i helped u take care of your baby when is young.. lol.. :P should be very cute de right.. wahahahaaa.... :P so anxious abt my school plus someone's wedding.. hahaa.. :P first time sia~~ hahaha.. ytd kana 'takan' by my brothers they all.. haiz~~ said.. "Your target is in november leh... then now.......... " -_-'''' haiz~~~ :(

TIME TO BUCK UP

ICE~~

haha.. actually wants to blog about food.. ended up no mood..
sian~~~ afternoon drink tea + coffee.. then just now went to drink coffee bean~~ omg.. today i took too much of caffine~~ omg~~ cannot sleep liao~~

haha.. seriously this week.. i really did something weird sia~~ haha.. had lunch with my long lost friend.. then just now i had coffee with my cousins..

as for my long lost friend.. of cos, it had been a long long time that i really talk to her..

as for my cousins.. haha.. even worst.. i seldom talk to them.. this consider as long talk ba? or ?????

haha.. of cos after i come back from my coffee drinking session.. saw some emails floating in my mail box.. the first one i saw for the gathering.. i almost wants to puke blood or so called i want to straggle pple liao... ARGH~~ u better dun let me see u at the gathering.. FINE~~ we shall fight.. see how will wins.. haha.... :P diao~~ had a short chat with my friend online.. he saw the email.. he said.. "Why both of u fight? You two ma chiam like couple.. " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the problem we are not.. furthermore he got gf de.. he just wants to irritate me.. or he scare i nobody wants.. wants me faster find a bf.. so i won't disturb..

FINE LOR~~ I GOT BF.. and I AM ATTACHED~~ hahaa.. just tat i never tell u only.. wahaha.. :P

Fireworks~~

Woohoo~~ Of cos fireworks was something that i will not miss especially if there is anyone to accompany me to watch it. Wahaha.. Contiunously, i watched two fireworks shows. Yipee, this year fireworks were so fantastic. I simply just love it so much. On Sat, i got a very good view but seriously i am still a scary cat. While watching fireworks, i was starting to scare, what if i slipped and fall in somewhere near clifford pier there, how? What will happened and etc....... Opps, wondering is it because i am the only child at home, that's why i am this kind of thinking. I need to help my parents to think also mah..... Hahaha.. Or i am just finding an excuses for myself.

Friday, after work. Dad drove me to my ex-company to find my ex-colleagues. Hahaa.. Of cos is my ex-colleagues accompany to watch.. Arbo, still got who accompany me sia~~ lol.. :P Erm.. Had my dinner at vines.. Yummy, it had been so long that i ever eat that. I am starting to miss food over at novena, mainly because i had nothing much over at my workplace now except nasi lemak. OMG, i am so sick of nasi lemak, i will try my best to avoid that but the problem is i don't know what to eat. Guess the next coming month, i had to start to be much more thrify, time to mixed vegetable rice. :( for weight loss and save. Only once in a week, eat something good. Stop going out that often, try to stay home. But the problem is maybe nobody will ask me out cos everyone started to have their partners and busy life le. After my fireworks,i went to The Cathay, trying to catch Journey Over the Center of Earth. But the problem is no shows over there, ended up had to walk to cineleisure. Watched the last two matches of pingpong over at cineleisure kbox before went in to catch the movie. Seriously, i really like this movie. This is a movie must watched sia. If is converted to a 3D movie or 4D movie, i will go and catch it. But provided someone accompany. Omg, i realised i am really not independent at all. :( Sianz~~ After the movie, as usual, i had to wait for 1 hour for 4N. Haiz~~ SBS don't have enough drivers for night drivers, ended up it become i am suffering. OMG~~ I think i am commuters right, commuters should entitle for their own benefits right? Should be they trying ways to upgrade themselves right? Maybe if the market is not so bad now, i guess i most likely will hop onto a cab and go back home to sleep asap. Instead of spending one hour at the bus stop waiting for my bus. No choice lah, cheapskate!!!!! Wanted to take a $2.50 bus home, cos i am broke for the month. 1 4N = 2 others night riders... Why har? No traffic jam late at night leh? Most of the night riders took the same route, just that after selegie, most of the riders will go different ways. But i am waiting at midpoint ORCHARD leh? WTH~~~~ IRIS said 19 mins but the problem is aftr 19 mins, i still couldn't see 4N. -_-''' IRIS got bugs mah? or something is wrong with my network or even my phone sia? There is a point of time where it state, it can detect the next bus. -_-'''' Or is bcos 4N is very unlucky, it will suddenly disappear. Or why not change to something else? like 9N to replace 4N? So the waiting time can cut down to half an hour instead of an hour. Do you know is very poor thing to stand at the bus-stop late at night to wait for a bus that will never comes?

Saturday~~
Due to the bus delay, i reached home around 3 plus. Wah Piang~~ I came out of the theatre at 1 plus. Ended up almost 2.30pm then the bus came. My friend had already reached home, while i just board bus. I woke up around 1 plus in the afternoon. I suppose to go airport to fetch a friend who just came back from aboard. Or considered as my good friend. But due to hongkong got typhoon, flight had been delayed again and again. Therefore i had been keep looking at the website to wait for the confirm time. Then i will leave home for the airport. Sad..... Only certain flights then it will state confirm. -_-''' Haiz~~ is i being too demanding? How come website will only indicate for some airlines. Some airlines will only stated delay .... (time), while some airlines will state confirm .... (time). Therefore, it mislead me lah, let me tot that is not confirmed. I don't dare to go out that early, furthermore is raining heavily outside. But my gd friend had reached before i reached sia. -_-''' feel so guilty sia~~~

Around evening time, i went to meet a friend for fireworks, as usual, i am late. Seriously before meeting my friend, i got such a complex feelings sia. That day, i suppose to meet friends for birthday celebration but i don't want to go that early. I even had the thoughts of not going at all. Erm..... I will not indicate who is this. Haha.. Otherwise things might get worst than i thought. One of my friend msg me telling me that they were at bugis too, wondering whether i will meet them for dinner or not. Of cos on the way walking to find my friend, i kept telling myself, i dun want to meet up with them sia. What is the reason behind that = secret. Wahahaha.. :P When i met up with my gf, i told her my friend had encountered a problem. But i guess most likely she knows is me, i trying so hard to shift to it to bcome someone else. I sounds very bad right, but no choice. She knows my cousins sia, don't want things to get worst. During the chatting with her, i realise there were a lot of things which i had never take note at all. I had never thought whether the things that i do will makes anyone unhappy or not or causes any misunderstanding or not. To me, friends are friends, regardless is guy or girl, isn't it the same? Since now is what generation already, i realise it might be different from my thinkings liao. From the talk with her, makes me think far a bit. But i didn't pick up someone calls, i was keep trying avoid it. I can sense that he is quite pissed off with it. I only reply my friend's msgs. I suppose to join them to eat no signboard seafood with them but i didn't go. I rather watched fireworks than eating. Haha.. :P He knows me so well sia, he said i loves fireworks. All of them had mistaken that i went to watch with my bf, of cos i didn't bother to explain so much already. I still reject his calls when i am watching fireworks. Hahaha.. :P Watching the fireworks cure the pain inside my heart. Very abnormal right? Haha.. Maybe i am not too deep yet? I still can put it out easily. Concentrate on my studies and work ba, don't ever think of that anymore. Supposing to meet up with a guy friend after the fireworks, haha.. i think once i told him i was with that gal.. He said is ok~~ next time ba~~ lol.. or maybe bcos someone never tag along with us, he felt disappointed? Wahaha.. Met up with the gal's friend. Hahaha.. The gal said i am bubbly gal. Erm.. Am i a bubbly gal? I started to ponder about it. Why they thinks i am a bubbly gal? Maybe they never see the side that i am sad before? Even the guy also said i am a bubbly gal sia.. Something is wrong sia, i didn't know i am a bubbly gal. Wahaha.. Or maybe bcos now i started to things easily, don't want to care so much. Maybe i should thanks niao ren for the training she had for me in my ex-company. We had anderson ice-cream over at marina square, after that we went to walk around. Of cos, i am puzzled why my phone never rings nor never received any sms from my friends lah. Haha.. See lah.. My heart had fled there yet still wants to lie to myself that i dun want to go. Saw my friend's gf previous sms le, then i bought a cake from chocoz before going over to find them. Haha.. She told me he had left already. Haha..
I said is ok, i just passed u all the cake then i will go back home. As usual, of cos being polite must called him, telling him i am going there now. See whether he still wants to join us or not. Never tot that, one of my friend who suddenly went missing call me. Asked me where i am, he need someone to talk to. -_-''''' Haha.. As usual lah, he never said anything, i already start to scold him. lol..:P till that he said he called me later. Tmd.. Walked from marina square to suntec to take bus, sian~~ that stupid bus-stop got so many insects.. sob sob.. Ended up i faster board a bus and walk to the place, that i suppose to meet them. Tmd.. dunno is bcos he angry with me or wat, tell me the wrong address.. ARGH~~ then i had to walk back again. when i met up with my friends, i called him and scold him sia~~ wahaha.. :P we bought some stuffs and go back to the room for a small celebration. stupid sia~~ they had been watching soccer but once in a while we changed channel. Saw The Eye, remind me that last time i went to watch a group of people sia~~ He good sia, i asked him to bring a lighter, yet in the end, he brings a lighter that doesn't work at all. Ended up me and my friend's gd had to go down and get it plus we bought some tim sum. Wahaha.. The tim sum not bad sia, i quite like it.. =p The cake got a bit screw up. maybe i too "chu lu le".. But the chocolate is too thick.. plus i got something bitter goes along with me sia~~ wah piang~~ so weird combination.. Hahah.. :P three of us had been playing dai dee till late morning, while my friend's gf already knock out. Win liao, i kept losing. :( drank quite a bit. tmd~~~ kana bully.. there is once i cheat, buahaha.... when he goes toliet, i changed his cards... Haha.. guess he knows lah, but just ignore me. Buahahaha.. He very good hor~~ haha.. too bad~~ pple already taken... haha.. i think towards the end, i started to sa jiao liao~~ haha... cos really starting to get tipsy.. haha... ended up.. all go sleep sia~~ my the other friend accompany me to chat for a while.. ended up all sleep liao~~ 3 piggy leh.. wah lau~~ i still said today morning, i need to go out.. haha.. ended up never sleep.. no lah.. i got sleep for a while, but dunno why i just wake up le. Cannot sleep.. then keep asking them to go eat macdonald breakfast but nobody cares for me. All contiunes to sleep.. :( Actually i had the tots of going off, i wanted to tell them. But.... I dunno why i just couldn't make myself to do that. Then ended up sit there lor~~ watch movies.. sian~~ haha.. he woke up and talk to me for a while, then he knocked out again.. haha.. seriously.. i dunno when this feelings come.. haha.. weird right.. something just goes very wrong ba~~ seriously.. i really thinks i am very xin fu inside the room.. i had this two good friends.. haha.. but maybe guess now i had lose both of them le ba... hahah.. another one is ok.. cos his gf is so friendly.. then of cos lah.. i keep using pillows to beat them.. haha.. next time cannot do it liao~~ later their gfs not happy~~ haha.. seriously.. dunno why.. maybe bcos both of them accompany me during my downtime at work ba~~ suddenly got the bonding with them ba~~ but too bad~~ things won't last long de.. 3 of us said before, hoping each of us will find our the other partner soon. Now 2 of them had found, i am happy for them. Haha.. Not that i am not close either one of them. Is just that my feelings went a bit haywire for the other person. I also don't know when it had bcomes to work in this way. But don't worry, i will make sure it will goes back the correct way to make sure things dun screw up again. Hahaa.. thanx for being there each time for me, hearing my grumbling when i just came back from hongkong. of cos i will never forget wat happened last year, after that day i had changed.. =p thanx for always looking after me.. today is really had bcome a memories that i will cherish it~~ thanx pals~~ guess after today, we will seldom meet up anymore.. i will cut the times that i joined u all. guess now i will try to find tons of excuses to avoid joining u all. but i will miss you all.. :) maybe that is one of the reason that i kept looking u all when u all are sleeping.. hehee.. =p i had an enjoyable night with you all, although is just a simple birthday celebration. Dun worry, i won't have this kind of celebration for my birthday. Guess by then, u all had already forgotten my birthday. And i might be busy with my studies lah. and forgets u all... otherwise later i started to dun bear to let go, how? Stuck with you all often.. Hahaa.. :P i dun want always be a lightbulb in between you all.. Hahaha.. Dun worry for me.. :) At least u all can go for double dates.. :) or think too much le~~ for me, i will let the nature takes the course.. :) haha.. if i got le.. u all dun bully him arh.. or 吓跑他wor.. later no pple wants me, how.. wahaha.. :P

hehe.. 我会很想念你们的。。你们一定要好好的疼爱她们wor.. 不过我相信你们一定会的。。放心我一当把我自己的心情收拾好来，我一定会从新再你们的面前出现的。我就让时间冲淡一切，当时间觉得我应该出现的时候，我就一定会出现的。 :)

Just got my tots sorted

Haha.. I got my tots sorted.. Maybe the incident tat happened long time ago, left me a deep scare. Of cos, i will not do such a stupid thing~~ haha.. dun ever like yr gd friend.. gd friend shall always remains as gd friend.. haha.. guess nowadays i will seldom online especially when i am at home. Mum's backache is back.. nowadays must act guai.. stay at home to help out some household chores.. Guess maybe is due to that fall she had over in genting.. once in while, it will come back and haunt her.. just brought her to see doctor on last sunday, doctor said is a bit swollen.. avoid most household chores.. of cos i also went to see doctor also.. since i am there already.. spent another $38 sia~~ haha.. doctor said quite bad~~ haha.. took my second dosage of antibotics.. hahaha.. till now i still haven recover.. doubt i will go for my friend's birthday celebration on this coming sat~~ haha.. guess maybe i dun want to make the same mistake that i did last year... secrets.. shall remain as secrets...

失声 Day 4

Haha.. Enjoy life too much? Doubt it. School going to start in about less than 2 months time. Wohoo!! Is time to make myself busy again~~ Opps.. I wants to have enrich lifestyle, otherwise i am too slack le..

1)I did went to my company dnd. Woohoo.. i love their lucky draw prizes.. hehe.. too bad, i did not participate in the lucky draw, cos i am not entitled to that. Overall i did enjoy myself that nite

2) I went to yy's housewarming. haha.. really a bit like piang my head towards the wall sia~~ haha.. been quite quiet that night ba~~ i went there for a little while, then i went over to find da jie they all at clarke quay.. Haiz~~ da jie lost her diamond at pump room.. :( i tried the calamari there.. BAGUS~~~ VERY NICE~~ the nicest calamari that i ever had sia~~ Miss it so much...

3) Had a small celebration for my shifu, the day after yy's housewarming. Erm.. We went to had dinner at marina square, i had a soupy noodle.. Hehee.. is nice~~ Opps.. i just came back from hongkong not long ago, yet i went to hongkong cafe to eat.. This time round, one of my brothers is there. Haha.. one of my friend said "wow.. two of u bicker a lot sia. " Hahaha.. use to it le lah~~ we always argue de.. haha..

4) Nowadays i had been skipping quite a few outings .. Haha.. dun asked me why.. just feel very tired..

5) haha.. guess i am crazy.. i gt a crush on someone who gt gf.. haha.. hopefully this crush will fade as soon as possible and i will be back to normal.. :P after so long, i had slowly bcome to be so normal.. i dun want it to ruin it again~~ let nature takes it course..

Hong Kong Itinerary

First Day 17th July
- Reach HongKong Airport at 7 plus pm~~
- Out of HongKong Aiport and take bus A21 to Yau Ma Tei
- Reach Hotel around 9plus pm
- Out of Hotel Room for dinner at Temple Street
- Walk Around Temple Street
- Back Hotel at 12 plus

Second Day 18th July
- Leave Hotel around 10..
- Had breakfast at a nearby shop
- Proceed to DisneyLand
- Back to Hotel around 11 ba~~

Third Day 19th July
- Leave Hotel around 11am~~
- At Dim Sim for breakfast~~
- Wait for my Cousin to cut hair~~
- Around 1 plus, proceed to The Peak..
- Reach Peak around 2pm ba~~
- Come down Peak at 6pm~~
- Proceed to have dinner~~ had a hard time to find the really good restaurant~~ ended up at very good..
- 9plus.. walk along ladies market~~
- Go back to hotel at 12 plus..

Fourth Day 20th July
- 10 plus leave hotel room for macau~
- Reach back hongkong at 12plus midnite~~
- back hotel room around 1am~~

Fifth Day 21th July
- had breakfast~~
- follow by.. my cousin doing rebonding, while i do treatment~~ haha..
- went for a short walk while waiting for my cousin to do hair~
- tried yi shun pudding~~ bought some stuffs at sasa~~
- back to the shop and grab some chocolates~~
- Then back to hotel room.. follow by going to xu liu shan for mango dessert~~
- Jade market for a short stroll
- follow by going to ladies market for a short walk~~

Sixth Day 22th July
- Leave hotel room and buy bread
- go to ta yu shan to visit big buddha~~
- haha.. when i come down, is already time to go back to singapore~~
- i miss tung gate.. didn't manage to go there doing shopping~~ haiz~~

erm~~ i didn't really do a lot of shopping over there~~

guess i need a break~~

haha.. ever tot of whether after my trip, i bcome very weird.. very quiet? haha.. sometimes i also dunno~~ i feel a bit puzzled and lost~~ just suddenly feel the emptiness~~

i like or love life that is simple but once you realize that everyday is the same, you will start to get bored about it. But sometimes suddenly everything come together, you will feel that everything just turn upside down..

puzzled~~

hahaa.. seriously, guess i had to pack up my feelings.. hahaa.. guess.. my studies going to start soon.. relationship is just something i should not touch, cos i know i cannot focus or concentrate on two different things at the same time.. haha.. dun mistaken.. not tat i am attached or someone going after me~~ guess i know myself too well.. i haven met the right person yet~~ hehee.. but i am glad.. i got a friend who cares for me so much~~ reached home so late already, still call me ensure that i reached home also~~ haha.. guess u know who u are.. i thinks sometimes when u free or u are online~~ u will kpo on wat i wrote.. hehe.. :P

???

The True You
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you.With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.You think good luck will definitely be yours, someday.The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society.You care more about world trends and fashions than you do about well formed opinions.When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out.

is it true?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiVxa8_yz8c

OMG~~~

haiz~~ guess bcos of my job~~ i think i getting aging faster leh~~ guess bcos of my lateness causes me to sleep late at nite.. too kpo sometimes~~ talk too long on phone~~ too hyper at nite.. sob sob... guess i need to do something to keep myself looks better and radiance~~ haiz~~~ i keep telling myself~~i going to attend my gd friend's wedding end of the year wor~~ must looks nice nice... haha.. :P omg~~ hopefully i will do it wor~~

haha.. guess my hk trip, will be a trip for me to go there buy cosmetics.. haha.. time to do something~~ omg~~ when i bcome so ai mei arh~~i tot i am a lazy woman~~ i guess is better to stick to myself to be a lazy woman~~ wahahaaa.... :P

some office updates.. as u know lah~~ i am a contract worker.. most of the times dun have a lot of benefits de lah~~ haha.. my colleagues they all get me a seat for DND.. erm.. question mark right... go or dun go.. if they going, and asked me go.. i sure go de mah~~ who asked me is siao on de.. even my mum also said me~~ pple asked u go.. u sure go.. when u will reject pple de.. can go pasir ris chalet then evening go east coast chalet.. haha.. nowadays dun have so many events le lah~~ sian~~ this month got a lot of bird days~~

Just wants to grumble out~~

Guess Min has blur blur spend her 23 plus years in singapore and in life.

In kindergarden, she met a few friends.. 4 from her mum's friend sons~~ 1 close kindergarden friend.. Of cos being so mischevious at young age, of cos there are things that she cannot forget. She causes one of her friend to lose a teeth, luckily was so young at that time. One of my mum's son who is always in the same sec as me, also had the same birthday as me wor~~ But now of cos he had grown much more mature than me...

In primary school, being so conincident, me and my kindergarden study the same class throughout the 6 years, not to deny during this period we did quarrel before. Friend or dun friend, this kind of thing.. Later wat lah~~ u like this guy or this guy like u.. all this~~ haha.. first time skip lesson was in my primary school.. So stupid sia, i went to marine parade theatre to watch sammi and ekin move.. feel good 100%~~ haha.. a very simple movie which i like it a lot wor~~~

In secondary school, guess this was the period that i met a lot of new friends. Who let me get into this school, of cos is my grandpa lah~~ During these period of time arh, i took a lot of neoprints sia~~ And i always like to buy sushi from NTUC and go to East Coast to do project with one group of my friends. We always go parkway after school and eat tempura~~ Hahaha.. So simple life~~~ We join choir together, go NDP practice together~~ Before NDP practice, i will buy tons of tibits go there and eat. Cos every week practice, we eat KFC. Wah lau, i also eat until i scare liao..

Lower sec got technical classes ma, but my school so small.. Ended up we had to go to nearby school to study technical classes. Just very conincident, my kindergarden friend study, this was when i met korkor ba~ Being very niang~~~ Hahaha..

Sec 3 onwards, of cos i feel a distant between us due to i am taking a different path with them. I took a class with full of maths, POA, E-Maths, A-Maths.. No choice, i like Maths more than any other subject. But guess my A-Maths results let my teacher feel disappointed ba~~ Even my tuition teacher also LL.. Speechless towards me.. I tends to stick with yy and so called my gd friend and a bunch of big bullies.. haha.. :P And i get closer with korkor during this period of time.. We will study together for o level exams ba~~

After O level exams, i met a guy~~ Haha... We in a very short relationship, so called is my first love ba~~ haha.. A very sweet de love, just that i dunno how to cherish him ba~~ Since i am so young that time, i heard that he is getting married this year le~~ Congras to him~~

Just before i go in to poly, i met another guy~~ Haha.. This time, i stick with him for 3 years~~ Stupid right? Haha.. First time that i admitted to hospital.. So ma lu~~ Jil called me immediately when he saw my msg when i admitted to hospital wor~~ But the problem is, my hp not with me cos i was admitted for observation for 2 hours. Opps.. Jil was not the guy wor.. He is the guy who always hear me cried for 3 years~~ The only movie i watched with both of them was lord of the rings part 2. Part 1 was with someone else.. Hahaa.. Maybe being only child for both me and him, we just want to find someone talk. Just a companion ba, maybe all this while, he treats me like a sister protecting me and accompany me. Just like wat jil and korkor said he never love me before. Being stick with a guy for so long and realise that he don't love you at all. How would you feel? Erm.. Ok lah~~ during this 3 years, i didn't really treat him as someone i love ma~~ Just a very gd friend, is only that i lose him then i realise i had actually fallen into it just that i don't know about it. The first time i felt that i lose him was when i just came back from australia, the first person who i wanted to call when i just alight flight. But he never picked up at all, he switched off his phone. By then i should realise that something is wrong. All my fault, said a lie before i go oversea.. Seriously, i just want to find out how he feels for me all this while but maybe i am wrong. or maybe the email that i send to him when i am in australia is a wrong move. Before boarding, i am so happy, i feel that i am in love, when i came back, u gave me a very cold war~~ Slowly, we getting closer together again. But it just lasted last than a year ba~

In August, my cousin passed away le. I even quarrelled with my poly friends, niao niao, da jie da and ceo.. Haha.. they are my closest friend when i am poly sia~~ i even cried at orchard train station~~ tat was when i am most xiao qi~~ Sometimes after nite class, they will just accompany me~~ xie xie ni meng~~ wo yong yuan duo bu hui wang le na she ri zi~~

When he passed away, was quite a big blow to me~~ Being the youngest daughter in the family, my mum siblings always very dote her~~ My mum told me that korkor said to my auntie, "must take of ah yi they all." tat was when i promise myself.. "korkor, i will take care of all of them.. " Sitting alone in the cafe at airport, taking my panosanic hp with me~~ I was thinking about wat korkor and jil said~~ "Min, he dun like u at all.. Bu yao yue xian yue sheng arh" This sentence keeps floating in my mind. I scare i cannot overcome the sadness if one day he really tells me he found a gf. Then hw to keep my promise.. To take care of them~~ I sent a very werid sms to him~~ He immediately called me back.. Scold me and ask me wat happened, i didn't say anything, just hang up the phone. Maybe that bring another ending between us. He left singapore and went shanghai~ He never tell me when he is going and when he is coming back. I very stubborn hor, why would i like this kind of guy~~ Siao cha bor~~ Before he left , he just sms me this "Gd morning. Min, take good care of yourself." I also dunno why i wake up so early, i called him back~ I know he is at the airport, i can't said anything. I know he is going to board the plane, so wat can i do.. He said, i reached home le then called you, ok? You idiot, i hate you. U let me cried for one month. You don't want to let me know when u come back, means u dun want to contact with me already. Why min still so stupid at that time, don't understand this meaning. He came back le, he told me he like a girl.. I diam diam, there is nothing i can said. From that time onwards, the distance between us getting much more further apart.

I also met someone else.. guess i not convinent to mention who is he again.. i dun want to cause any misunderstanding between he and his gf.. maybe things just come too late, i can't bring myself to it. But thanks for being with me during this period of time.. XXXXX treats me very gd, i so called very shy, i really not used to big crowds. There was a time he brought me to a place to cheer me up when my grandpa passed away. Guess i always bully him~~ But i really wants to thanks him being with me during my down time~~ He brought me to miss clarity cafe.. Tat's when i get more and more close with my sec friends~~ They very pamper me wor~~ Scare i so sad, brought me to ms to eat cake, ended up went to mos.. then i went to eat prata at katong.. and walk back home with my broken heels especially the next day, i got to work.. never know tat i got such close brothers wor and yy..

Two days before my grandpa passed away, i was sick until very jialat, i got two days of mc, ended up i still went to work. Of cos, that day was a very bad day, i cried at work. I don't know is it of wat is going to happen or too stress.. Too noob to handle stress at that period of time? After work, i went to eat steamboat at marina bay, guess that was my last time to go there for steamboat. I broke a chair there sia, so stunned.. The next day, i went to hospital to visit him. He changed a lot. That time i had a very bad cough, therefore considered a bateria spreading, i kept myside outside the ward. Only go in and glance at him once or twice. After that i went to parkway to meet my friends.. Maybe is from then, slowly build up my friendship or bond with another one of my brothers ba~~ Tat time he having some relationship problem.. We had a short chat outside the pool outlet~~ The next day he passed away le.... of cos when i just woke up, i had no feelings at all.. Furthermore, i still sick until very jialat~~How i know wat the hack is happening~~ I went down to my grandma's house~ Of cos every night hiding in my room and cried.. Told myself i had to take care of my father.. Ended up at the last day, was my father looked after me.. On the last day, he was being ceramate.. Before the coffin reached there, my mind was floating about all the past that involves him.. I started to miss him~~ although i know he dislike me.. guess everyone there will thinks i am very fake ba~~ cos all the pple there dun like me at all.. this was the gap that we had build up after my psle ba~ i also dunno why everyone turned to bcome like tat..

guess i like a cried baby spending for my 24 years~~

tat time when i left singapore to bkk.. i never lose anything when i come back...

this time when i left singapore to hk.. will i lose anyone again?

Server Room

Wahaha.. Seriously in the first few months, i am grumbling why should i quit my previous job. The pay here might not be as high as what i get in the previous job. But during this week, my time had spent very wisely. So called, i got back my life. I no longer work that hard. So called not really that if i stay at my previous job, i will have more time to study. Previous job is not as competitive as the current job. I met a lot of various of people, so called, i am trying to open myself.. (hahaa.. dun mistaken... ) open up myself is to learn more about communicating, dun always think that wat is in the past is good. I should learn to look far, instead of keep standing at the same point again and again. plus overcome my shyness, always keep quiet.. must be much more daring, dun be so timid.. plus dun be so gan chiong~~ must be fast and steady, dun always so slow~~ dun always walk round the circle and circle.. dun always compare the past and the present..watever is in the past, is already in the past, no longer keep comparing, cos it will never be the same again..

haha.. these few days, i been to client side, server room, all these are things that i never get to be involve or do before. Is really a very different way of working style but i always like to keep myself occupied.. As for weekend, i would want to stay at home and rest. Guess my hk trip is making me very tired~~ i got so many errands to do.. sian~~ guess slowly... one by one~~ i got a 100 to 200 of taxi claims for the past months haven claim~~ omg.. my pay already so little le~~ yet so many taxi claim haven claim.. sob sob~~ seriously.. i dunno why... i keep hoping tat my big boss will convert me before i go hongkong~~ but i guess or doubt that he will convert me ba~~ cos i made quite a few mistakes in work~~ but thanks god~~ my tl still not as bad as niao niao~~ he had been very forgiving.. i hopefully next time i can cut down my errors.. dun let him nan zou ren~~ later big boss scold him, i will be very gulity de.. cos most of time is i make mistake~~ erm~~ u know lah~~ i dun like to cause harm to pple de..

Just feeling weird + a messy trip~~

Seriously nowadays really very lazy to update about my food's photos~~ Hahaa.. Without lying and being very sincere, i started to get use with my work over there but there are still times that i don't really get use. I guess slowly i will get use over there.

As for diet, nowadays i trying to cut down my intake since i seldom exercise. One reason bcos of my gd friend, while another reason mainly is bcos of my own health. I realise my immune system getting more and more weak, as u can see that i often fall sick now and then. Last week, i went out with kl and one of my ex-colleague, of cos i went to sushi tei to eat again. But this time round, i am much more calculative.. Haha.. Kana said by kl.. why so calculative? No choice, now i quite broke~~ haiz~~ money cannot take back~~ now need to save up extra money for my studies plus my hk trip.. haiz~ he so bad~~~ bring me go eat chocolates~~ ARGH~~ but ok lah~~ we ended the day by eating strawberries at foodcourt~~ I LOVE STRAWBERRIES~~

From now till Oct, i had to be much more thrifty and enjoys all my freedom now before my school starts. I finally going to study after saying for 2 years. Seriously i don't know whether i can cope with the stress level that i will be dealing with later on or nt. Will all my brothers be there, lending me a ear or pull me up again when i am down?

As for my xiao qi korkor, i guess he is angry tat i did not agree to be his gurantor ba~ But seriously, i did try my best to save this friendship, guess it really did not ended well. This is the best that i can do, there is nothing much i can do. Recently or start of the year, i lent my friend money. When i am in deep financial trouble, she said she cannot afford to return to me at the moment. Ended up, i had no choice, turned to parents and asked for help. Then they realised that i lent money to friend, kana scolded for that day. But i am sorry to lied, i did not tell them the exact amount that i lend her. So how would they let me go be a gurantor after such incident happens?

As for my two dearest brothers~~ Erm.. Didn't really meet up with one for about 3 weeks le ba~~ While another one, i met him up last weekend ba~~ Had a short chat before we go back~ Sort of started to miss them~~ Omg~~ Why.. haha.. maybe too use to go out with them le~ haha.. so maybe next time they asked me out, i should reject them le hor~~

I am pretty surprised that one of my friend asked us out. But at the same moment, i rejected cos i said i am not free. Brother also rejected by saying he got to study for exams.. Are we avoiding her? Erm.. I dunno leh~~

Erm.. i got a friend sms me on last friday.. i am pretty surprise as both of us had never contacted for more than 4 years? U don't ask me when is the last time that i ever talked to him sia~~ My feelings is right, something goes wrong.. Hahaha.. My feelings won't go back to be the same. I will just treat him as a normal friend. Furthermore he is married already. OMG~~ My head is getting bigger and bigger~~ Erm.. He heard one of my friend's voice when he called me on last friday. And there goes on his story~~ Crazy~~ Each night he called me, he will tends to talk to me very long~ Erm.. nowadays i really don't use to talk on phone that long at nite except towards girls or woman. Opps.. I had bcome lose interest le~~ hahaha..

My trip had turned out to bcome a disaster, seems like all the pressure is coming towards me~~ i feel so sian~~ i rather go trip with my brothers~~ omg~~ but i can't~~ mum will object~~ they will never allow me to do that~~ is either i find a steady friend and join me and my brothers to go.. otherwise i doubt i can go oversea with them~~ or they had to let my mum to join us~~ haha.. since they had let my mum joined us once le~~ haha.. will it have a second time? omg~~

as for my relationship~~ i started to wondering whether is my feelings going haywire again~~ guess i had to put a stop point at the correct time. otherwise if it still contiune to go to the wrong way.. then i will lose a friend in the end again~~ i dun want to land myself in the same position which i encounter a few years back..

Min Min falls sick le

haiz~~ guess this is the most jialat time till now~~ My fever went up and down, just like roller coaster~~ There was once hit up to 39~~ I super sian~~~ took two days of mc~~ but later going to see doctor again~~ see wat is he going to say~~ cos he only gave me one day of mc~~ but up till now~~ i still feeling very giddy.. stomach very pain~~~ futhermore.. i still contiune having diarrhoea for three days~~ sob sob.. :(
Although my fever have subside, i still feeling very weak~~ :( no appetite.. haiz~~

Part and Parcels of Life?

Hahaa.. Seriously, are u looking to be in a relationship and enjoy the pamper from your the other half? or are u enjoying yr current life?

hahaa.. who dun want someone to care abt you.. who dun want someone to look after you.. i believe most women are more sensitive towards things.. and "zou nan ren hou mian de nu ren.."

seriously~~ in life, one might encounter more than one relationship.. not every relationship ended with a happy ending nor a sad ending ...

I known a truth life story.. A couple had been together for 7 years, ended up they broke up. But the gal was running away, she do not wants to hear any news from the guy. Why? To me, bcos the gal can't get the guy out of her mind but she knows that separating will be better for both parties. Since there is a gap between the gal and the guy. Whether is there any third-parties had come in, it does not seems to be a problem anymore. Since the love had faded to become a habit.. In a relationship, don't ever let "love" or "passion" to fade it and bcome a habit.. There are times that you can change your habit and addicted to another habit.. While if love is there, it will be lasting instead of fading away..

Am i right? Seriously i also dunno, it is just based on my kpo comments.. If i am right, why can't i find something that is right? Had i really let go of the past? I did not let go of the past, it just bcome my memories. The more u wants to let go of something, the harder it is. Why not try to accept the facts, instead of running away? Running away does not helps at all, it will just make matters worst. Seriously i did enjoy my life at the moment.. Wo shi yi ge heng rou yi zi zhu de nu ren~~ Ou er ge wo yi ge guan hua~~ wo jiu yi jing gou le~~~

i met a friend on sunday~~ maybe after my complaint too much~~ he told me "If u really need money, i can lend u first." Hahaa.. seriously at that point of moment, i really very touch.. It had been a long time that someone ever told me that.. haha.. Min.. u still consider quite fortunate.. u had met quite a lot of gd friends in life.. but friendship will still fades away de~~~ in this world, as long as, there is relationship in it... they will always tend to fade away.. hw can u maintain friendship or relationship like a bottle of wine.. the longer it is, the better it is.. i guess i haven't reach that level yet.. i hope i can reach but i doubt it...

is just part and parcels of life.. the older u grow, the more things will fade away.. therefore, i rather be silly, childish in front of friends... i just wants to stay in that moment.. cos it is always a joy to remain part of yourself as a child~~ in a working society, u had to be tuff fighter. Why still wants to wear the mask after work? Isn't that makes life bcome more sian and more tiring..

Is Life really that Fragile

Is life really tat fragile?? When things want to come, you really cannot runaway? Seriously, i dunno when Min will down again or she had overcome it.. We shall see.. Shall let time prove whether i am right or i am wrong..

I am Broke for the next few months..

Hahaha.. It had been a long long time tat i ever had this kind of taste, thinking of omg~~ hw am i going to suffer thru.. But now this kind of taste is back.. ARGH~~ Seriously i really hate it but i had to accept it for the next one year or more..

Last friday, i had fork out my money to pay my school fees for the first semester. Erm.. Min arh~~ just one module leh, how broke can you be~~ But if the following things going to occur for the next few months.. Then guess i know why am i going to broke~~

June :
- Cousin's birthday
- Owe my cousins they all a treat..

July :
- Time for a trip
- 2 birthdays

August :
Birthday Day month
-3 sec friends
-1 poly friend
-Nanny.. haha..
-2 ex-colleagues..

September :
- 2 birthdays
- a trip to KL before my school starts?

October :
- My birthday.. Yipeee
- 2 birthdays..
- School starts.. sob sob.. transportation allowance going to increase le~
- 1 wedding..

November :
- Time to think hw am i going to pay my school fees..
- 2 weddings..


~~ omg~~ i just dun feel like continue.. haiz~~

Relaxing Weekend

This weekend considered as most guai weekend for me. Didn't really went anywhere except going for facial today morning. Opps... Is so painful~~ haiz~~~ no choice~~ face very dirty.. haiz~~ guess i should go facial often.

Erm~~ Last friday, i met my friends for dinner plus movies~~ haha.. Actually wanted to try hanabi at vivocity but is 50 plus per person. -_-''' Four of us.. hahaa.. Didi was so quiet that day.. really stunned me~~ In the end, we went to dragongate at harbour for dinner.. lol.. :P one person is ard 35. We ordered 23 dishes out of the 54 dishes. Seriously, i didn't eat a lot.. Most likely is try one piece from each plate, therefore during movie, i still can have my haagen daz ice-cream.. i went to watch jin ge that movie.. haha... who is jin ge? jin cheng wu lor~~ hahaha... quite touching sia~~ i doubt that didi knows that i cried during the movie~~ hahaa.. :P i like the song so much~~

korkor... these few days u been calling ard 2, 3, 4 plus.. haha.. i never pick up~~ i sleep le lah.. u wants to make appointment with me to make up a date to redeem my ice-cream.. :P hahaa.. or accompany me go airport for dinner.. :P i feel like going to changi airport.. dunno why.. is it time for de-stress.. haha.. :P

Beautiful Sunset

haiz~~ Am i being too shy?

Erm~~ I can't deny my colleagues they all really treat me very good and nice~ They will look after me. Always ask me to join them for lunch, bring me go eat nice food. One of my colleagues going off tomorrow. Before she left, she passed me her pooh bears~~ she said when i saw that, i will think of her~~ seriously, i very touched~~~ i almost wanted to drop my first tears in the new compant~~ but i hold on to it.. haiz~~ guess later, it will be a sad moment~ cos everyone was sad that she is going to leave us and join another company...

haiz~~ am i being too shy~~ seriously, i think i need some reflection on myself. When i am not close to someone, i dunno how to interact with them~ haiz~~ i hopefully i will learn more on socalising skills and get a much more closer bond with them~ dun want them to mistaken that i am acting dao or wat. just that i dunno wat to say.

Last wk, i had a very tiring week.

Monday and tuesday, i went back home after work~ Sad sia, bank no money~~ sob sob~~

Wed, i went out with my colleagues to have farewell dinner cum KTV.. plus macdonald. Trying to control my diet, even my colleague asked me to eat nugget, i also decline~~ haha.. early in the morning eat nuggets.. haha.. let me recalled wat i had over in iras tat time. i also had a 12 hours outing but this time round is a bit special, i left ard 3plus. I had already had a date with my trekking kakis that to join them to go kent ridge the next day. Therefore, they let me go.. hahaha.. :P

Thur, Although i am very tired, i pull myself to wake up at 12 to join them. As usual, i am late and did not had my lunch with them. Hahaha.. When lao dao saw me, first sentence "Are you ok? You look quite pale." Omg~~ i really looks that bad~~ haiz~~ i faster brushed away and go to buy drinks~ Ended everyone also knows i slept at 5 plus, tat's why i looks so tired. We went to watch sunset, i can only use one word to describe "Beautiful". I never knew that sunset is that beautiful.

Friday, i met up with my ex-colleagues and went down to register. Haha.. Four of us going to study together. After being persuade by so many pple, i finally make my first step. We shall see how things going to be like. I wondering, will i give up halfway?

Sat, i am so tired that i slept until 4 plus then wake up~ so jialat right? haha.. I went to catch ironman, bcos i am late again. We got the first row seats. Erm~~ really very cold.. I almost freeze to death.. I think the show is consider not bad, making use of the high technology stuffs. Of cos, my friend love it more than we do. Hahah.. had a short chat at iguana... Some stuffs that cannot avoid means really cannot avoid... After iguana, we went mac~ Haha.. Papa very look after me.. knows that i going to attend my gd friend's wedding.. they will always remind me~~ nov wor~~ nov wor~~ stress~~~ -_-''' Am i going to determine to do it? haha.. We shall see.. :X

Sun.. I met up some friends for lunch at wisma food court, we tried the korean food over there. Hehehe.. :P i think next time i will order soba~~ that looks nice~~ haha.. thanks for helping me.. :P
I had my dinner at IMM~~ hahaha.. Hk cafe.. not bad~~ quite nice~~ jiejie actually wanted to treat me bcos she knows i am damn broke now~~ but i insisted dun want lah~~ haiz~~ guess this week, i going to eat bread le~~

My mind had went crazy..

Erm.. Something did happened to me, i really think i am crazy. Prevent myself from going to the wrong direction again. I ask a favor from my cousin, please remind me not to walk to the wrong direction again. I cannot like my gd friend, if i like him, means our friendship will be gone. So i must deal it carefully this time round, i don't want it to turn into a mess again. Haha.. But guess this kind of weird feelings will fade very fast. Once bitten twice shy, haha.. why things always that coincident~~ when i am typing this msg, he sms me~~ guess i need to siam for some time.. before i become much more normal~~ i need to tell myself~~ i am not looking for shelter.. i am not looking for someone to depend on~~ now, i can look after myself well~~ i dun need a bf for the current moment~~

i finally did something that i had mentioned for a the past one year or two years. i had went to register for school, now waiting for letter whether am i being accepted or i got two exempted modules.